SLASHER MONTH: Masterblaster (1987)

Glenn R. Wilder is a stunt guy. Maybe he thought he could be Hal Needham and direct. This movie is the result, one of the few slashers that has guns in it — at least on the cover. And until Paintball Massacre came out in 2020, this was the only paintball slasher I could think of, unless you count Hostile IntentBackwoodsGotcha!RampageThe Zero Boys and Tag the Assassination Game.

Jeremy Hawk (Jeff Moldovan, who also wrote this) is a PTSD-having Vietnam vet who wants to win the Master Blaster Grand Championship — the movie can’t decide if it is Master Blaster or Masterblaster which drives me crazy — and get the $50,000 prize, which is big enough that someone is killing everyone else to win.

There’s also a scene where a bunch of dudes accuses our hero of having AIDS and then try to beat him up, reminding me that 1987 was many thousands of years away from being non-problematic.

The other players — and maybe one of them is the killer — are martial arts expert Yamada the Shadow Warrior, bodyguard De Angelo, headshrinker Laura, rocker Lewis and a cop named Samantha whose last partner didn’t just die…his head got blown up real good and she tried to put it back together.

Can one find love, money and meaning through paintball? Or Masterblaster? Or Master Blaster? I watched it and believe that it can be yours, my friend.

You can watch this on YouTube.

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