Watch the series: Lake Placid

Sometimes, having OCD and ADD and who knows what else leads me down some strange paths. This time, it was to go all-in on Lake Placid. A note: The Lake Placid vs. Anaconda movie and Lake Placid: Legacy will be covered soon enough.

Lake Placid (1999): Not many eco-horror movies have the pedigree of Steve Miner directing and David E. Kelly writing them. Maybe it’s just that I’ve watched so many cable sequels and low budget cash-ins this week, but man — this is an actual movie! This line will make more sense by the time this article is done, as man did these movies take a dive when it comes to quality.

A SCUBA diving death in Aroostook County, Maine leads to an entire team investigating the cause. Sheriff Hank Keough (Brendan Gleason), wildlife officer Jack Wells (Bill Pullman), American Museum of Natural History paleontologist Kelly Scott (Bridget Fonda) and mythology professor Hector Cyr (Oliver Platt) soon discover that there’s a giant crocodile in the lakes, fed by kindly old Mrs. Delores Bickerman (Betty White).

The Stan Winston-created gator looks great, a moose head is gorily removed from the lake and White’s character is fun. There are also several references to Alligator, which I endorse because it’s the best of all croc or gator on the loose movies.

Lake Placid 2 (2007): Sheriff James Riley is now on the case of the gators and if you know your made for SyFy movies, you know that he has to be played by one-time Duke of Hazzard John Schneider. Instead of Betty White feeding gators, you get her sister Sadie, played by Cloris Leachman (they were both on The Mary Tyler Moore Show, so at least the casting has some meta quality). Instead of Steve Miner and David E. Kelly, we have David Flores directing and Howie Miller and Todd Hurvitz writing.

It is, as they say, a major step backward.

I was going to ask where a cop would get a grenade launcher and then I remembered that in my hometown of 7,436 people the police all have AR15s, ballistic armor and a battle armored SWAT vehicle. So this isn’t all that far-fetched, I guess.

In case you wondered, yes, a small dog is menaced by the gator.

Lake Placid 3 (2010): Sadie Bickerman has died and left her home to her nephew Nathan (Colin Ferguson from Eureka), who plans on fixing it up with his wife Susan (Yancy Butler) and their son Connor, who inherits the Bickerman family trait of feeding gators and making them into human masticating killing machines.

In this movie, an entire family of gators bites down on peeping toms and skinny dippers, keeping the cable movie from showing too much gore or too much skin. It also has a literal home invasion via crocodile years before Crawl.

Director Griff Furst — Stephen’s son — has been in nearly ninety movies and also directed Swamp SharkAlligator Alley and Trailer Park Shark. Writer David Reed is now a writer and a producer of The Boys.

The end of this movie directly ties into the fourth movie.

Lake Placid: The Final Chapter (2010): David E. Kelly, which wrote the original Lake Placid, gave this movie 4.5 out of 5 stars and said, “Is this the last one really? The ending doesn’t make me think so. I am glad to see Robert Englund in this and some of the cast from the previous movie! The effects are still lame as second and third, but the story is good.”

David Reed was back as the writer and sequel king Don Michael Paul (Kindergarten Cop 2, Jarhead 2: Field of FireSniper: LegacyTremors 5: BloodlinesSniper: Ghost ShooterTremors: A Cold Day in HellDeath Race: Beyond AnarchyThe Scorpion King: Book of SoulsJarhead: Law of ReturnBulletproof 2 and Tremors: Shrieker Island) was new to the series, making what was claimed to be the last film in the series. Come on, people.

After the events of Lake Placid 3, Reba (Yancy Butler) is still alive and she starts this off by killing the last remaining crocodile in the supermarket. Now an EPA agent, she returns to Black Lake a year later to work with sheriff Theresa Giove (Elisabeth Röhm). And in every Lake Placid there must be a Bickerman and this time it’s Jimmy, played by Robert Englund.

Butler is pretty great in this, the crocodile is somehow twenty feet long and a whole bus full of kids gets menaced.

There’s an opportunity to make the Lake Placid movies high trash, yet no one ever seems to go for it. You know there will be more, so that’s my challenge to croc creatives: go wild.

ARROW 4K ULTRA HD, BLU RAY AND STEELBOOK RELEASE: True Romance (1993)

Somehow, I’ve never seen this movie before. Sure, it was featured by other writers on the site before and I’ve owned it for some time, but somehow I’ve never found the reason to watch it. Luckily, Arrow Video released several new versions of the film on blu ray and 4K UHD, which gave me the opportunity.

What was I waiting for?

True Romance was a script Quentin Tarantino sold after Reservoir Dogs and unlike so many of his written work, it was directed by someone else: Tony Scott (ironic, as Tarantino went off on Scott’s best-known film Top Gun in the 1994 movie Sleep With Me).

I kind of love that this started with Roger Avery unable to finish a script, so he turned it over to Tarantino, who gave him a stack of pages back which were Natural Born Killers and this movie, which starts after the prison riot and features Mickey and Mallory Knox tracking down the writer who made the cash-in film about their lives. As that writer hides out, he writes True Romance.

Tarantino has said that it’s his most autobiographical film and by and large, he was happy with the way it turned out. It’s pretty faithful to his screenplay, other than changing the story to a linear structure and not the all-over-the-place narrative that Tarantino would use for Pulp Fiction. He also took much of the film’s first act from his 1987 effort My Best Friend’s Birthday.

I have to say, as a man obsessed with movies that married a short-haired blonde from Detroit, this movie has a lot to say to me.

As Clarence Worley (Christian Slater) sits alone in a theater watching a Sonny Chiba triple feature, Alabama Whitman (Patricia Arquette) — named from Pam Grier’s character in The Big Bird Cage — spills her popcorn all over him, leading to an evening where the two bond over cinema, Elvis, diner food and sex.

The next day, she tells him that she was hired to give him a good time by his boss. He doesn’t care; they’re both in love. They get married and moments later, Elvis (Val Kilmer) himself appears to Clarence and tells him that he has to set Alabama free from her pimp Drexl (Gary Oldman, perfect for the too-brief time he’s on-screen). All Clarence wants is her to be free, Drexl attempts to kill him, but misjudges just how strong Alabama’s love makes the young man. Running into the night with two dead bodies left behind, the young couple learns that they have a briefcase packed with cocaine.

As we follow the couple to Hollywood, where Dick Ritchie (Michael Rappaport) and Elliot Blitzer (Bronson Pinchot) broker a deal with movie producer Lee Donowitz (Elliot Blitzer; this character produced Bounty Law in Once Upon a Time…In Hollywood, is the son of Donny Donowitz from Inglorious Bastards; the movie that he produced that Clarence speaks so highly of, Coming Home In a Body Bag stars Rick Dalton, who is the hero of Once Upon a Time…In Hollywood; he’s also pretty much Joel Silver).

This drug deal is complicated by the fact that Drexl had stolen the cocaine from Blue Lou Boyle, which sends Vincenzo Coccotti (Christopher Walken) and an army of killers on the trail of Clarence and Alabama. Meanwhile, a cocaine and oral sex aided and abetted arrest leads to the cops wiring Elliot for the big drug deal, an event that leads to a Mexican standoff between our happy couple, the Hollywood elite, organized crime and the police, led by detectives Nicky Dimes (Chris Penn) and Cody Nicholson (Tom Sizemore).

There’s so much that happens in this movie and so much to discuss, but I think it’s perhaps best experienced by the viewer. That said, there’s an astounding scene between Clarence’s father (Dennis Hopper) and Coccotti, as well as Alabama remaining resilient in the face and fists of a hired killer (James Gandolfini). Oh — and Brad Pitt pretty much inventing the movie Pineapple Express with his scene with the mob interrogating him.

The original ending had Clarence dying and the widowed Alabama eventually turning to crime. Evidence of that is in Reservoir Dogs and Mr. White (Harvey Keitel) talking about working with Alabama.

The Arrow Video release of True Romance has 4K restorations of both the Theatrical Cut and the Director’s Cut from the original camera negatives, as well as limited edition packaging with a reversible sleeve featuring newly commissioned artwork by Sara Deck (which also is featured as a poster in this impressive set).

There’s so much in this package, including a 60-page perfect-bound collectors’ booklet featuring new writing on the film by Kim Morgan and Nicholas Clement, a 2008 Maxim oral history featuring interviews with cast and crew and Edgar Wright’s 2012 eulogy for Tony Scott, as well as six double-sided, postcard-sized lobby card reproductions

There are multiple audio commentaries, with options from director Tony Scott, writer Quentin Tarantino, stars Christian Slater and Patricia Arquette, and critic Tim Lucas, Plus, you also get select scene commentaries by stars Dennis Hopper, Val Kilmer, Brad Pitt, Michael Rapaport, Bronson Pinchot and Saul Rubinek.

As if that wasn’t enough, there are interviews with costume designer Susan Becker, co-editor Michael Tronick, co-composers Mark Mancina and John Van Tongeren, and Larry Taylor, author of Tony Scott: A Filmmaker on Fire.

Most interesting to me were the deleted scenes with optional commentary by Scott and the two different endings of the movie with commentaries by Scott and Tarantino that really add so much to this movie, as Tarantino discusses how the ending in the film is the right ending for the movie Scott made.

There’s also an electronic press kit featurettes, behind-the-scenes footage and interviews with Tony Scott, Christian Slater, Patricia Arquette, Dennis Hopper and Gary Oldman, trailers and TV spots, and an image gallery.

You can get the following versions from MVD:

SHUDDER EXCLUSIVE: On the 3rd Day (2021)

Cecilia (Mariana Anghileri) has had a car accident — colliding with Enrique (Gerardo Romano) who is delivering a mysterious package — and even three days afterward, she finds herself wandering a lonely road seeking her son, who disappeared in the aftermath. She soon learns that she’s being accused of kidnapping her child and another accident that evening by her ex-husband Fernando (Diego Cremonesi) and Inspector Ventura (Osvaldo Santoro). Meanwhile, Dr. Hernán (Lautaro Delgado) tries to use hypnosis to help her remember exactly what happened that night.

Coming from Argentina — the home of films like Terrified and The Curious Dr. Humpp — and filmmaker Daniel de la Vega, this film is full of moody dread and palpable loss. Helping it along the way are the score by Luciano Onetti (who is part of the Onetti Brothers who made Francesca and Abrakadabra) as well as cinematographer Mariano Suárez’s (Daemonium: Soldier of the Underworld) eye guiding the camera.

As Cecelia tries to piece together the last three days, Enrique the priest who she was in the accident with is still looking for the ancient Catholic relic that was lost in the wreckage and will do anything to get it back.

It starts off slow, but stick with it. There’s something here, even if it isn’t perfect. Daniel de la Vega seems like someone who is going to keep putting out interesting horror, so I’ll keep watching his film.

You can watch this exclusively on Shudder.

The Bees (1978)

Alfredo Zacarías made Demonoid and we should thank him for years for that. He also took advantage of the sheer terror that ensured when the Africanized honey bee was on its way to America. Originally used in Brazil to increase honey production, 26 swarms escaped quarantine in 1957 and spread throughout South America, incredibly defensive and angry bees that supposedly can chase a person for a mile. These bees have killed a thousand people with many of their victims being stung over and over again. Just imagine six-year-old me watching this on the news every single night as we were told again and again just how close these bees were to us and how doomed we all were.

I also blame the exploitation film industry who seized upon this and made so many killer bee movies, as they had all the news doing their advertising work for them. There was the 1974 TV movie Killer BeesThe Swarm and this movie, ads filled with just bee after bee and I’d watch when I was outside sure today was the day I’d be stung to death.

Jack Hill went uncredited on this as a writer, as he was supposed to direct it, but life didn’t work out that way. It’s the story of South American killer bees who haven’t just been smuggled into the country for experiments, but have also mutated into even smarter than your average bee and use that to kill humans.

It all happens when Dr. Miller (Claudio Brook) is trying to crossbreed the aggressive bees with a much calmer species so that more honey can be made. A local tries to break in and steal the bees, which leads to his angry family and friends burning down Miller’s house and the bees escaping. Meanwhile, Miller’s wife Sandra (Angel Tompkins) takes the queen to her uncle Dr. Sigmund Hummel (John Carradine, of course) and Dr. John Norman (John Saxon), who have the same goals as her husband, except there’s a honey spy ring trying to make more money off the bees and that means murder.

There’s a scene where Carradine falls to his doom and I won’t lie, I watched it nine times and with each rewatch I loved this movie even more. Also: John Saxon speaks to stock footage of the UN.

 

KINO LORBER BLU RAY RELEASE: Ants AKA It Happened at Lakewood Manor (1977)

EDITOR’S NOTE: This film was originally on the site on December 31, 2021. Thanks to the new Kino Lorber blu ray release, I’m sharing a revised article on the film. The Kino Lorber release has a brand new 2K scan as well as commentary by author and film historian Lee Gambin, new interviews with Barbara Brownell, Barry Van Dyke, Anita Gillette, Moosie Drier and production assistant and daughter of producer Alan Landsburg, Valerie Landsburg. You also get both the TV and theatrical cuts of the film. It’s available directly from Kino Lorber.

Guerdon Trueblood, who wrote this, really had quite the resume. The grandson of General Billy Mitchell, the founding father of the U.S. Air Force, he was a dependable writer for TV as well as writing and directing The Candy Snatchers. You can also check out a few other TV movies he wrote like The Savage BeesSST Death FlightTarantulas: The Deadly Cargo and even the theatrically released — and reviled — Jaws 3D.

Ants — also known as It Happened at Lakewood Manor and Panic at Lakewood Manor — was directed by Robert Scheerer, who also made Poor Devil, the “Primal Scream” episode of Kolchak and episodes of Star Trek The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine and Voyager.

Probably the main reason to watch this is Lynda Day George, who we all know and love from movies like PiecesDay of the AnimalsBeyond Evil and Mortuary. But you also get Myrna Loy, Suzanne Somers (just before Three’s Company), Bernie Casey and Brian Dennehy, who was in twelve movies and TV programs in 1977.

As for the Lakewood Manor, a real estate madman wants to turn it into a casino while its owner (Loy) wants to keep it as it is. As it involves a pit of venomous ants that can’t be destroyed by pesticides and love to murder people. Imagine — millions of ants covering people, who can’t move or they’ll be killed, ants upon ants taking the life of the soon-to-be Chrissy Snow.

From the moment that two construction workers discover just how aggressive these ants are — they get buried alive before they can tell anyone — you know that these ants mean business. The Board of Health thinks that whatever is killing everyone is some kind of violent outbreak and quarantine the hotel, but it turns out that there’s a giant pit of ants, ants that can’t be stopped with pesticides. Millions of ants, ants smart and mean enough to build bridges over the dead bodies of their fellow insects and cross water and fire just to kill anyone that gets close to them.

There’s a square up reel at the end, as only two of the many characters in this movie survive and they’re told that there’s no way this could happen again because the hotel had “unique environmental conditions vital for the existence of the ants’ nest.” Seeing as how there was never a sequel, maybe they were right.

I also love that this movie was sold with an image of Somers — after she became a big star — covered in ants. She was terrified of them but the producers somehow convinced her to do it.

In the 70s, I spent most of my childhood worrying that I would be killed by a bug. Now, I’m more sure it’s going to be a heart attack any day now.

KINO LORBER BLU RAY RELEASE: Terror Out of the Sky (1978)

The Savage Bees was a big deal. I mean, Jeannie Devereaux (Gretchen Corbett) trapped in a VW Bug during Mardi Gras? Well, on December 26, 1978 CBS brought Jeannie back — now played by Tovah Feldshuh — put her in a love triangle with her boss David Martin (Efrem Zimbalist Jr.) and her kinda sorta boyfriend Nick Willis (Dan Haggerty), then has a bunch of bad bees get in with the good bees and before you know it, a softball game and a marching band are the targets of the swarm.

With dialogue like “Oh my God! His mouth. It’s full of bees!” and appearances by Lonny Chapman (Long John the tattoo artist in The Witch Who Came from the Sea), Ike Eisenmann from the Witch Mountain movies, Joe E. Tata before he owned the Peach Pit, Richard Herd (Schizoid), Charles Hallahan (The Thing) and Steve Franken (who also battles Ants! a year before), this is also the kind of movie with a National Bee Center ready to defend our country for the threat of killer bees.

You know, I read a review of this and the kid writing about it pish poshed the notion of killer bees. Well, I was there, every night when the news told us we were all going to get stung a thousand times and die. It’s easy to laugh about without living that life. I did. Bees were all we talked about. Also: quicksand.

Director Lee H. Katzin also made the bizarre and wonderful movies The Phynx and What Ever Happened to Aunt Alice? He also directed SavagesWorld Gone Wild and the pilot of Samurai, a show that would have had Joe Penny fighting crime as a sword-wielding vigilante.

Writer Guerdon Trueblood was a great cause of the week movie guy. I mean, the same talent did The Savage Bees, Ants! and Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo. He moved on to airplane movies (SST: Death FlightTerror Out of the Sky) and also wrote Jaws 3-D and directed The Dandy Snatchers.

This being the 70s, the whole movie is more about a woman choosing between two horrible men than it is about bees. That said, there are some moments of fun, like the end when Zimbalist wears an anti-bee suit that is soon covered by millions of black and yellow striped monsters.

The new Kino Lorber blu ray release of Terror Out of the Sky has a new 2K master, commentary by film historian David Del Valle and filmmaker David DeCoteau (who made his own bug movie 1313: Giant Killer Bees) and trailers for the film. You can get it from Kino Lorber.

Prey (2016)

Released in the U.S. as Uncaged, this movie was directed and written by Dick Maas, the man behind The LiftAmsterdamned and Sint. Taking place in the architecture of Amsterdam, Prey unleashes a gigantic lion that takes no prisoners.

On the trail of this 450-pound mountain lion are Detective Olaf Brinkers (Rienus Krul) and forensic veterinarian Lizzy (Sophie van Winden), all while a reporter named Maarten (Pieter Derks) and Dave the cameraman (Julian Looman) follow them, with Dave having just as much interest in winning over Lizzy as he does catching the cat. Maybe he’s more interested in the girl, to be perfectly honest.

After police chief Zalmberg (Theo Pont) has his cousin die spectacular trying to capture the lion, he hires famous hunter Jack DelaRue (Mark Frost) who just so happens to be Lizzy’s ex.

There was no way that this could be filmed with a real lion as wildlife is prohibited in the Amsterdam city area. There’s a mix of an animatronic lion in the close ups and a CGI one in the rest of the movie. It’s not perfect, but there are some thrilling scenes, as the ending with the lion trying to claw through a windshield to get to Lizzy is really intense.

Also, if you’re expecting a non-gory animal attack movie, you may have not seen any of Maas’ movies.

You can watch this on Shudder.

Tales from the Dark Side episode 4: “The Odds”

Tommy Vale (Danny Aiello) never skips a chance to bet. So when a dead man comes back — Bill Lacey (Tom Noonan) — and wagers that Tommy will be dead in 24 hours, he takes that bet. And then we wait.

This episode feels almost like a stage play with Aiello’s quiet dignity even in the face of his corrupt life and the fact that he’s never been taken advantage of when betting up against a man who he thinks is Lacey’s son but who could very well be a ghost.

Director James Steven Sadwith is probably best known for the Sinatra and Elvis miniseries that he directed. He co-wrote this with Carole Lucia Satrina, who also wrote three of the Cannon Movie Tales, Red Riding HoodPuss In Boots and Beauty and the Beast.

The joy of this episode is seeing Aiello and Noonan act opposite one another. This is one of the rare episodes of this show with some restraint in the storytelling instead of a monster of the week and that makes this quite an enjoyable twenty plus minutes.

Alligator II: The Mutation (1990)

More remake than sequel, Alligator II starts with rich villain Vincent Brown (Steve Railsback) dumps some of the Future Chemicals into the sewers which goes right to the baby alligator from the end of Alligator.

Detective David Hodges (Joseph Bologna) and his wife Chris (Dee Wallace, forever battling against eco horror) realize that all the parts of people are coming from an alligator and try to get a big party at Brown’s casino on the lake cancelled, but you know how it goes. When your mayor is Major Healey from I Dream of Jeannie (Bill Dailey), these things happen. Actually, watching movies where small minded governments ignore ecological terror and shout down people and ruin lives really feels on topic. Maybe a bit too much.

With Hodges and Officer Rich Harmon (Woody Brown) on one side and alligator hunter “Hawk” Hawkins (Richard Lynch!) and his team, which includes his brother Billy (Kane Hodder!) on the other, you know that there’s going to be a lot of people torn apart and wolfed down.

What I did not expect was the lengthy pro wrestling scene which is filled with movie and wrestling crossover actors, like Professor Toru Tanaka, Alexis Smirnoff, Chavo Guerrero, Count Billy Varga, Gene LeBell and Bill Anderson. The man who would be the next Hulk Hogan, Tom Magee, is also here as a strongman that gets launched by the alligator’s tail.

Director Jon Hess made Watchers, while writer Curt Allen wrote Bloodstone. This movie is pure junk in the best of ways, just scene and people chewing, Richard Lynch breaking down over the loss of his crew and rocket launches against a monstrous alligator. Watch it in the pool.

Chattanooga Film Festival: Buddymovie (2022)

Directed and written by Ryan McGlade, Buddymovie has two old friends meeting up once again in the forest, discussing their past moments of being pals and then dealing with a large steel warehouse that’s full of demeaning wisecracks.

This is a quick one, but driven by some sharp dialogue more than the cinematography. Can a building have a crisis? Well, if corporations can have the same legal protection as people, sure. I guess anything is fair game these days.

Do you have trouble making friends? Then you might find something in this movie to learn from.