Venomous (2001)
Somehow, someway, Iraqi commandos once broke into a secret American government lab and released the genetically modified rattlesnakes which go under the ground and wait ten years before they emerged in a small town and start biting everyone, which creates a pandemic and man, did I want to watch a pandemic movie when I thought […]
Invisible Mom (1996)
Researching this movie — yes, I am home alone on a Sunday obsessively writing about Fred Olen Ray movies while you live your life — I discovered a website called The Chucks Connections which documents every appearance of Chuck Taylor All-Star shoes in movies. If you liked Disney live action movies of the 70s but […]
Human Factors (2021)
Nina and Jan (Sabine Timoteo and Mark Washcke) own an ad agency together and trust me, that brings nothing but stress, particularly with the politically active client they just got hired by. To escape getting burned out, they take their kids Max and Emma (Wanja Valentin Kube and Jule Hermann) to their seaside vacation retreat, […]
Little Miss Magic (1998)
Deidre (Vanessa Greyshock) is a teenage sorceress in training who has one test left from her master (Robert Quarry): she must help Richard (Ted Monte) deal with his life, which is mostly living under the naysaying gaze of his wife Kristin (Michele Bauer) who keeps pushing him but is really working with his friend Greg […]
Dire Wolf (2009)
Santa Mira has dealt with body snatchers and latex masks that make kids’ faces explode into worms and bugs, but now it has a dire wolf problem. Actually, it has half a dire wolf problem, because a research facility has combined a human being with a dire wolf — where did they get a dire […]
Star Princess Defender (2012)
Also known as Dirty Blondes from Beyond, this Fred Olen Ray science fiction movie starts when Princess Farra (Brandin Rackley) dealing with Vulvian Empress Krella (Christine Nguyen), who responds to an offer to combine their efforts to deal with cosmic thunderstorms by invading Farra’s planet, sending her and her attendant Vema (Jazy Berlin) to Earth, where they struggle […]
Stone Age Sirens (2004)
If you’re a prehistoric cave girl accidentally transported to the future — like Tahra (Jezebelle Bond), our heroine — the first thing you’d probably do is have a threeway with some archaeologists named Richard (Alexandre Boisvert) and Sharon (Kennedy Johnston). I guess, right? Aren’t we all in the Fred Olen Ray cinematic universe? I leave […]
Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold (1995)
I’m sure you’ve seen Attack of the 50 Foot Woman but this has ten more feet on that. Inga (Raelyn Saalman), Betty (Tammy Parks) and Angel Grace (J. J. North) are the three finalists for Plaything’s Centerfold of the Year, which finds Angel heading to Dr. Lindstrom (John LaZar) to continue beauty treatments which he’s already told […]
Sniper: Special Ops (2016)
Segal and Van Dam — together for the first time. Steven Seagal and…Rob Van Dam weed-loving pro wrestler. Also this is not a Sniper sequel despite the story of Master Gunnery Sergeant Tom Beckett taking place over eight movies. Seagal is Sergeant Jake Chandler, an expert sniper, one so good that he’s rarely — if ever […]
Air Rage (2001)
Colonel John Sykes and his men were sent to save hostages, but when everyone is dead, they go wild and massacre an entire village. They return home to be court-martialed but refuse to go quietly when General Harlan Prescott (Alex Cord, Airwolf) throws the literal book at them. Sykes and his men respond by taking a […]
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