JUNESPLOITATION: Knowing (2009)
DAY 11: Disasters! Is the Alex Proyas who directed this and Gods of Egypt the same guy who made The Crow and Dark City? Because wow. If you read the critics, they said things like ‘absurd,’ ‘messy,’ and ‘overly serious.’ But once I saw Nicholas Cage dodging a train and screaming at — spoilers! — aliens, well…this […]
Trash Humpers (2009)
The Trash Humpers are running through the streets of Nashville, causing chaos everywhere they go, which mostly means making people eat pancakes covered in soap, choking out baby dolls with plastic bags and killing a poet. They’re also all mostly old men or men wearing old man masks. They are very dada; nothing means anything. […]
Soul Robbers from Outer Space (2009)
Jerry Williams also directed Catnado, so know that going in. Space queen Fiona (Leslie Rogers) is the force behind Channel D, which is my dream channel, because it airs nothing but Debbie Rochon movies. The bad part of that is that Channel D is also draining the soul of anyone who watches it. Or maybe robbing […]
Final Flesh (2009)
Vernon Chatman (creator of Wonder Showzen) decided to reach out to four different low-production-value adult film-on-demand groups and have them film his script. There’s nothing sexually arousing here, which makes you wonder what the porn actors involved in this had to believe that they were doing. Women give birth to meat, men want to go […]
C Me Dance (2009)
Directed and written by Greg Robbins, this is the kind of movie that makes me go nuts, nearly jumping around the room while my wife wonders why she married me. She was watching part of it and said, “None of the words match people’s mouths, and why are there Spanish subtitles?” That’s because I’ll watch […]
ATTACK OF THE KAIJU DAY: Mighty Lady Sparkle (2009)
Eventually, otaku who are all into tokusatsu grow up and become perverts. This movie is for them, a Sapphic ode to sentai rangers and giant women called forth to battle kaiju and get goo all over their chests. There’s a whole series of these Mighty Lady movies. In fact, this is not the first movie […]
ATTACK OF THE KAIJU DAY: PMID-101 Giant Woman 04 (2009)
Never change, Japan. Never change, Japan. Rina (AV actress Rina Fukada) grows big when exposed to electricity. When her father is kidnapped, she’s forced to become a kaiju woman and destroy the city. Not even tanks can stop her. But can a tentacle monster? Or a metallic lobster? Look, I get it. These movies are […]
Sizzlin’ Summer of Side-Splitters 2025: Gentlemen Broncos (2009)
Aug 18-24 indie comix week: When I was a kid, I used to read Mad Magazine and Cracked, so when I got a little older, it didn’t take much convincing to pick up Eightball and Hate. I’m an OG in the “complaining about superheroes” game, and my scars were anointed on the Comics Journal message […]
ARROW 4K UHD AND BLU RAY RELEASE: Inglorious Basterds (2009)
Enzo G. Castellari’s The Inglorious Basterds — known in Italy as Quel Maledetto Treno Blindato or That Damned Armored Train — is a 1978 film that ran near constantly on cable throughout the late 70s and early 80s. In case you’re wondering just how important this film was to Quentin Tarantino, check out his excitement as […]
Saturday Morning Watchmen (2009)
I love that this short — created by Harry Partridge and posted a day before the Zack Snyder movie was released — exists. It presents a happier version of the Watchmen, as if they were a Saturday morning cartoon, with a buff Nite Owl, Ozymandias saving the Comedian from falling, Rorschach being an animal-loving comedy […]
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