Houses of Hell: American Horror House (2012)

Three students strive to be initiated into a sorority on Halloween night. However, they soon realize that they must fight for their lives from ghosts that have invaded and the housemother that has embarked upon a killing spree. Oh man -- with a synopsis like that, is it any wonder that I picked this movie… Continue reading Houses of Hell: American Horror House (2012)

The Christmas Consultant (2012)

"No excuses. I double dog dare you." These two sentences laid down the Christmas movie challenge from R. D Francis. I don't want to take the Lord's name in vain on the day of His birth, but I came really close. A holiday movie. With Hasselhoff. Pure cruelty. Originally airing on the Lifetime Channel… Continue reading The Christmas Consultant (2012)

Santa’s Summer House (2012)

What if David DeCoteau -- yes, the director of A Talking Cat!?!, Prey of the Jaguar, Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama and the utterly baffling Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper directed a family-friendly holiday movie? Alright, I have no idea what that'd be like, but sure. Let's do that. What if Chris Mitchum played Santa? Yes, Chris Mitchum from Aftershock,… Continue reading Santa’s Summer House (2012)

Bullet to the Head (2012)

This movie is based on the French graphic novel Du Plomb Dans La Tete, which was written by Matz and illustrated by Judge Dredd and Rogue Trooper artist Colin Wilson. Directed by Walter Hill, it was Stallone's worst performing movie in 32 years. I avoided this movie for some time, but I ended up enjoying it.… Continue reading Bullet to the Head (2012)

BASTARD PUPS OF JAWS: Piranha 3DD (2012)

After the events of the last Piranha film, where Lake Victoria was attacked by prehistoric killer fish that were continuing to evolve, the lake has drained and the town itself has been abandoned. But what if there were a new waterpark that could drum up tourism? That'd be cool, right? At another lake, two farmers… Continue reading BASTARD PUPS OF JAWS: Piranha 3DD (2012)