Star Princess Defender (2012)

Also known as Dirty Blondes from Beyond, this Fred Olen Ray science fiction movie starts when Princess Farra (Brandin Rackley) dealing with Vulvian Empress Krella (Christine Nguyen), who responds to an offer to combine their efforts to deal with cosmic thunderstorms by invading Farra’s planet, sending her and her attendant Vema (Jazy Berlin) to Earth, where they struggle to fix their shop and avoid the Men In Black (Voodoo and Jenna Presley) and hide in the house of Jock (Evan Stone).

There are actually some nice special effects in this — the spaceships are pretty cool — but the rest of the movie just looks antiseptic and way too clean. Maybe it’s the Full Moon Tubi re-edit of this movie, which seemingly cuts the film in half by cutting out most of the sex scenes. You know that stupid Twitter debate about whether or not movies should have sex in them any more? Let’s have some of those #filmtwitter geeks stop watching the latest A24 movie and wallow in the world of Cinemax After Dark and let me know how good these movies are deprived of simulated scissoring. I defy you.

You can watch this on Tubi.

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