Tammy’s a popular high school cheerleader whose new boyfriend, Michael, might be the love of her life.

You are a movie viewer that can’t believe that Denise Richards and Paul Walker are in a 1990’s straight to video comedy that for some reason has near-insane levels of gore and blood.

If only Tammy’s jealous ex-boyfriend Billy didn’t kidnap Michael and throw him in a wildlife preserve, where he’s mauled by a lion and then has his brain implanted into a robotic T-Rex.

Yes, this is all true. Of course, if you rented this in the 1990’s, it was rated PG-13. Now, thanks to Vinegar Syndrome, we have the original vision of this film, which is…ridiculous to say the least.

Co-writer and director Stewart Raffill (The Ice Pirates, The Philadelphia Experiment, Mac and Me, Mannequin 2: Mannequin On the Move) described how this movie got made to the Bristol Bad Film Club by explaining that he went into business with a South American theater owner who had an animatronic T-Rex bound for a Texas park. “The eyes worked. The arms moved. The head moved. He had it for two weeks before it was going to be shipped to Texas and he came to me and said, “We can make a movie with it!” I said, “What’s the story?” and he said, “I don’t have a story, but we have to start filming within the month!” and so I wrote the story in a week.”

The film starts with Michael (Walker) and Billy getting into a fight where they won’t stop squeezing one another’s scrotums. In fact, this movie has more balls-related attacks than any other movie I’ve seen in some time.

Terry Kiser, the titular Bernie of Weekend at Bernie’s plays Dr. Gunther Wachenstein, who messily takes the brain of Michael and places it into that robotic dinosaur. He then flips out and goes wild, searching for the bullies that put him in this horrible situation. Oh yeah — John Franklin (Isaac from Children of the Corn) is Michael’s uncle who doesn’t care at all about what’s happening.

Efren Ramirez — Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite — shows up as a pizza boy and George “Buck” Flower is in this as well.

What you’re watching this for is to see Paul Walker’s soul inside a barely moving dino that messily dispatches of his tormentors. I have no idea who the audience is for this movie, but I count myself amongst it.

Once you realize that it comes from the man who brought you a child getting shot in the original cut of Mac and Me, it all makes sense. Also knowing that Raffill did the second Mannequin film makes the stereotypical ways of Tammy’s gay friend Byron Black make at least some modicum of sense, too.

You have to love a movie that misspells the lead character’s name — when she’s the title of the movie — as Tanny in the credits.

Ready to see something you may not be ready for? You can catch this on Shudder or go all out and get the blu ray from the awesome people at Vinegar Syndrome.

Known as Baltu Ciltis, this film is all about religious rituals, the Battle of Saule, the Crusaders battles and the fiery battles for the free land. Who were the last pagans of Europe and who did they believe? You’ll discover all of that here in this film, in which Danish spy Lars enters the tribal lands of the Baltic people, takes part in religious rites, gets high during the summer solstice, becomes the slave of Curonians and even fights the Crusaders.

The team of Raitis Abele and Lauris Abele has created something truly interesting here. It’s an almost “you are there” way of showing the 13th century, along with animated educational segments. If you told me I was going to enjoy a historical movie this much, I would have told you that you were crazy.

Baltic Tribes is available on demand and on DVD from High Octane Pictures.

DISCLAIMER: This was sent to us by its PR team.

Known in Italy as Terror! Il Castello Delle Donne Maledette (Terror! The Castle of Cursed Women), this movie was released as Terror Castle, The House of Freaks, The Monsters of Dr. Frankenstein and Dr. Frankenstein’s Castle of Freaks in the U.S., while it was named Frankenstein’s Castle in the UK.

According to Roberto Curti’s Italian Gothic Horror Films, 1970–1979, no one can even agree on who the director of this movie is.

Suspects include Spanish actor Ramiro Oliveros (The Pyjama Girl Case), producer Oscar Brazzi (The Loves of Daphne), cinematographer Mario Mancini (who ran camera on Blood and Black Lace, as well as acting as the director of photography for The Girl In Room 2A and directing Frankenstein ’80), producer Dick Randall (who produced Mario Bava’s Four Times That Night, as well as For Your Height Only, Don’t Open ‘Till Christmas and Slaughter High) and screenwriter William Rose (who wrote Pamela, Pamela, You Are… and shows up in the film as the Devil and in Herzog’s Fitzcarraldo).

Although director Robert H. Oliver was a pseudonym of Mancini, actor Gordon Mitchell claims that the director was Robert Oliver, while actress Simone Blondell remembered that the director “spoke English, he wasn’t Italian.” Perhaps the best answer comes from assistant director Gianlorenzo Battaglia (the cinematographer for A Blade In the Dark, Blastfighter, Demons, Witchery and so many more films — he was also the underwater camera operator for Popeye, Cozi’s Hercules, Alligator, Screamers and Phenomena!) said that “the American director left the film because of disagreements with the producer, and so Mario finished it on his own. I’m not 100% sure though!”

After a Neanderthal man named Goliath (Salvatore Baccaro, billed as Boris Lugosi) is lynched by villagers, Count Frankenstein (Rossano Brazzi, who was in Krakatoa, East of Java) brings the monster back to life.

Man, let me tell you about Rossano Brazzi. In 1940, he married Baroness Lidia Bertolini. They never had children, but he did have a son with Llewella Humphreys, who was the daughter of American mobster Murray “The Camel” Humphreys. At a young age, Llewella had shown fine musical talent, so her father sent her to Europe to study. After all, her father would do anything for her. There’s a story that when she went to the prom, she wanted to take Frank Sinatra. One phone call later and “Old Blue Eyes” was her date.

While in Rome, Llewella fell for Brazzi and they had that aforementioned son. When she returned to America, she changed her name to Luella Brady, an anglicization of Brazzi. Humphreys sent her and George, the baby, to live with her mother in Oklahoma, but she was so mentally unstable by this point that she was institutionalized. Man — her dad was the man who said, “If you ever have to cock a gun in a man’s face, kill him. If you walk away without killing him after doing that, he’ll kill you the next day,” taught mobsters how to plead the Fifth and inspired Tom Hagen in The Godfather and here’s the married Brazzi getting her pregnant!

After his wife’s death from liver cancer in 1984, Brazzi married Ilse Fischer, a German woman who had been the couple’s housekeeper for many years who had met the actor when she was a twenty-four-year-old fan.

But I digress…

Michael Dunn also shows up as Genz, an evil dwarf who indulges in necrophilia. Perhaps you know Dunn from Dr. Miguelito Loveless from The Wild Wild West or as Dr. Kiss in The Werewolf of Washington. Also invited to this Castle of Freaks party are Edmund Purdom (Pieces), Gordon Mitchell playing Igor (you may recall him as playing Dr. Otto Frankenstein in Frankenstein ’80), Loren Ewing (Big John from the Batman TV show as well as, get this, the transportation department for the movie Idaho Transfer), Walter Saxer (who would later produce Herzog’s films), Simonetta Vitelli (who was in four totally unrelated Sartana movies), Luciano Pigozzi (Pag from Yor Hunter from the Future) and Xiro Papas, who is, of course, Mosaic from Frankenstein ’80, the vampire monster from The Devil’s Wedding Night and Lupo in The Beast In Heat.

Somehow, all of this depravity got a PG rating.

This movie is not great, but gets many points for having 19th-century villagers wearing modern blue jeans.

Want to read more? You can check out our list of Edmund Purdom movies on Letterboxd because yeah — we’re just that crazy. And for more movies that were rated PG that don’t quite make sense, check out this list.

You can watch this on Tubi or the Internet Archive.

With the totally awesome working titles The Fantastic Puppet People and I Was a Teenage Doll, as well as the provocative UK title Six Inches Tall, this Bert I. Gordon auteur project — he wrote, directed and produced — was rushed into theaters by AIP to capitalize on the success of the previous year’s The Incredible Shrinking Man. It was paired with War of the Colossal Beast, which is ironic, as this film features that movie’s first installment, The Amazing Colossal Man.

Mr. Franz (John Hoyt, who was in everything from Cleopatra to Flesh Gordon) owns a doll factory and seems quite nice, but the lifelike dolls stored in glass canisters — his special collection — seem quite odd. That’s because they’re all real people transformed into dolls!

June Kennedy (Teenage Doll, Sorority Girl and the incredibly named The Saga of the Viking Women and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent) plays Sally Reynolds, who takes a job with Mr. Franz. Before long, she’s gotten all into salesman Bob Westley(John Agar, who has a vast career from John Wayne films to tons of B movies and science fiction films all the way to Miracle Mile; he was also the first husband of Shirley Temple), which seems to upset her boss. Before long, the guy is gone — just when they were about to get engaged and move away!

Soon, the twosome finds themselves part of Franz’s doll collection, forced to act out Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. Keep an eye out for Laurie Mitchell (who played Queen Yllana, the ruler of Venus, in Queen of Outer Space) and Susan Gordon, the daughter of the director. She’s also in his films Tormented and Picture Mommy Dead.

This movie is part of American history, believe it or not. On the evening of June 17, 1972, Alfred C. Baldwin III (in a nearby hotel as a lookout for the Watergate burglars) became so interested in the film that he didn’t notice the two plainclothes detectives who made the historic arrests that led to the event known as Watergate.

You can watch this on Amazon Prime. It’s also available with Rifftrax commentary on Tubi. You can also get the Shout! Factory blu ray release with a 2K scan if you’d like.

It doesn’t matter how many hipsters embrace Johnny Cash. Cash transcends labels and goes beyond demographics. As a teenager, that photo of him violently thrusting his middle finger toward the camera got me through high school. And his book, Cash: The Autobiography is filled with the kind of amazing BS stories that probably aren’t true but totally could be, like him wandering in a cave to die, walking until his flashlight gave out but being lured back out by June Carter’s picnic cooking.

Along the way, Cash made Five Minutes to Live, also known as Door-to-Door Maniac. He’d appear in only movie that I think is stranger than this one, his 1973 vanity project Gospel Road: A Story of Jesus.

Cash is Johnny Cabbot, a man who uses his guitar skills to be a door-to-door teacher as a scam to kidnap a bank president’s wife, but the bank guy wants to run away with his mistress instead (Pamela Mason, first wife of James). There’s also a young Ron Howard and an impossibly young Vic Tayback, too. And Cash’s guitar played Merle Travis is also in here.

Yeah, Mel from Alice and the Man in Black in a gangster movie. Cash wrote the title song after hearing that his friend Johnny Horton died. I’ve also heard that the song “When It’s Springtime in Alaska (It’s Forty Below)” is also for him. Horton was the second wife of Billie Jean Jones, the widow of Hank Williams.

You can watch this on Tubi.