Well, it had to end sometime. Two weeks (the last one was during the first week of August) and 48 films. Sure, there’s oh so much more Vietnam war raging in the South Pacific — and just as many jungle-based sci-fi off-shoots, such as Reb Brown starring in Bruno Mattei’s Robowar. But we just can’t, anymore. From here on out, you’re on your own to discover the rest of the Sylvester Stallone-to-Arnold Schwarzenegger-to-Chuck Norris ’80s war rips. And lets not forget the ones with Ron Marchini and Michael Dudikoff.

Okay, so right off the bamboo shoot: we want to know who wrote this logline: “Superb action set during the Vietnam War. The prologue shows a French army convoy being ambushed by the Vietcong in 1950.”

What’s wrong with this logline: the use of the word “superb” in a Jim Goldman, aka Jun Gallardo movie.

Okay, so there’s second unit and Assistant AD Rod Davis, aka Davies, aka we’ve never been able to track down if he’s an actual American expatriate or a South Asian doing the Americanization waltz on the lens as well as working the Brother typewriter. Paul Vance, aka Paul Van, however, is a real American who — as with our “star,” here, Gordon Mitchell — never “made it” in the U.S. film industry, but Vance forged a nice career northwest of Down Under with an acting resume of 20 films (starting with W Is War in 1983 and ending with Jungle Rats in 1988). We also have to mentioned that, in addition to co-writing Commando Invasion, Rod Davis also gave us this week’s Slash Exterminator (go back to Monday at 12 noon, folks; were writing ahead, here), and the we-love-it-so-much SFX Retaliator, among his five Filipino writing credits.

Then there’s our real “star,” the lead of these proceedings: American expatiate Micheal James, who was in eight of these jungle romps, including Mad Dog II and Rescue Team (both 1985; yep, reviewed this week and we’re writing ahead, so use that “search box”) for our Jim Goldman, and Searchers Of The Voodoo Mountain, aka Warriors of the Apocalyspe (1985), for Bobby A. Suarez. Michael James actually made a decent war film alongside David Carradine, Mako, and Steve James (a frequent Micheal Dudikoff sideman) in P.O.W: The Escape (1986). (I know: how “decent” is a down-and-out David Carradine Chuck Norris-wannabe knockoff?)

Okay, so since we already went deep with Gordon Mitchell — as well as with his frequent acting partner, Richard Harrison (I wish he was here; he’s not) — in our review of their joint, Neapolitan effort, on Three Men on Fire, let’s blow this one up!

Ol’ Gordo is good-to-bad guy General MacMoreland (he’s barely here and probably from another film, entirely) with Paul Vance picking up a co-starring credit as Lt. Frank Terryl, and Ken Wantanbe — from the 1985 martial arts classic Nine Deaths of the Ninja and the writer behind that same year’s Ron Marchini-starrer, Ninja Warriors! — as our evil General Diap. Hey, there’s Jim Gaines — who blew out 60-plus of these films since 1974, but we remember him best as Reb Brown’s sidekick Sonny “Blood” Peel in the previously mentioned Robowar — as Lt. Frank’s sidekick, Sgt. Morgan. Everyone else: they are somebodies that we think are nobodies because they all have bogus, “Americanized” names like “John Crocker,” “David Scott,” and “Bobby Clinton.” As is par for the Filipino jungle course: not only are the actors, stock (defacto “starring” in some cases as result of their cut-in from other pictures): all that sfx-slaughtering war footage is stocked as well.

So, not only is the U.S. in the jungle, so are the French, whose 1950-era army convoy rife with millions in art and diamonds is ambushed. The booty is stolen.

Meanwhile, 15 years later: We have an American commando unit doing what they do best: kill Asian commies as they track down that booty to VC General Diap’s (Watanabe) underground bunker. The men turn on Captain Brady, the head of the unit who — not again, how many of these flick have this subplot: he makes his scratch stealing diamonds from the locals. Why? Well, we weren’t there to stop Communism. We are there for the diamonds. Brady’s men plan to kill him and take the loot — then Diap and his men show up and killing them all. The exaction unit finally arrives and finds ol’ Cap Brady alive: with a gaggle of dead bodies around him and a fistful of sparkly rocks.

To stop his court martial, Brady is allow to return to “Vietnam” for five days track to down Diap, bring him to justice, and save his own skin in the process. In the jungle, Brady soon realizes U.S. General MacMoreland is in kahoots with Diap, that’s he’s been double and tripled-crossed, and the French military is on his tail to retrieve the stolen loot. And I swear I’ve seen this same plot in another movie we’ve reviewed during these two weeks?

Flash forward four months later . . .

Shite! I did. I just watched the same movie, twice — months part — I just reviewed Commando Invasion, again (it posed back on Monday). Oh, Dear Lord. Okay, well, let me go watch and review the film that I meant to review: Jun Gallardo’s Invasion Cambodia. Oh, man. I can’t. But I have to. Ugh! Just . . . one . . . more. I can do it! You just gotta believe!

See what I mean? Arrrrrgh! NO MORE PHILIPPINE WAR FLICKS! I’m losing my mind. The celluloid coffers are closed. Find the rest on your own. And watch this one on You Tube.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

Ol’ Uncle Cirio, he of the one hundred directing credits beginning in 1955 and ending in 2014. Hey, wait a minute . . . we lost Cirio H. Santiago in 2008. As it turns out: Cirio’s final film was Bloodfist 2050 (2005) — the ninth film in the Bloodfist series, if you’re keeping track of such things. Water Wars began shooting prior to Cirio’s death, but his then ill health resulted in his stepping down from the production. Roger Corman flew in (the great) Jim Wynorski to complete the film, which was released in 2014.

Ah, but this is our second “Philippines War Week” tribute (did you play with us back in August) and as much as Uncle Cirio loved to rehash Mad Max’s road warrior’in over and over again (Stryker, Wheels of Fire, Dune Warriors, and Raiders of the Sun — all of which were edited into Water Wars, natch), the king of Philippines junk cinema loved making copies of Rambo (Eye of the Eagle, Final Mission, Kill Zone, Firehawk*, Nam Angels — and don’t be surprised if you see those film each interchanging their footage into each other — and here).

For The Devastator, Roger Corman loosened the purse strings and allowed Cirio to shoot outside of the Philippines in Los Angeles. Also known as Kings Ransom and Force Commando, as well as The Destructors and The Destroyers in other quarters, ex-Canadian Football League running back Rick Hill (Deathstalker, Wheels of Fire) and director Katt Shea (Stripped to Kill, Poison Ivy, The Rage: Carrie 2; she also scripted The Patriot and starred in Barbarian Queen) co-star in this warsploitation tale about Deacon Porter, an ex-Special Forces officer out to avenge the death of his old commanding officer.

When Porter arrives in the small town of Kings Ransom, he discovers his commander died at the hands of marijuana farmers who control the town. To that end, he reunites his old squad — of Santiago stock players (so footage can be pinched from other films with some sense of continuity) with Bill McLaughlin (Silk), Terrence O’Hara (Naked Vengeance), and Jack S. Daniels (Wheels of Fire). Katt O’Shea is the local gas station grease monkey, aka the hot ‘n’ ass kickin’ local tomboy, that takes up their cause.

Now, if you know your Cirio like we hope you do, you’ll say, “Hey, this sure feels a lot like Final Mission* from 1984?” Have you not been following along? Did you not hang out with us during our first “Philippines War Week”? Have you not watched Cirio’s post-apoc movies at all? Of course it is — and does — as it’s all about the recycling.

But it doesn’t matter. The scripts may be been-there-done-that dopey, rife with dumb characters spewing bad dialog who talk a little bit too much and slow down the action, but when the action hits — as with any Cirio flick, even when recycled — you get your monies worth.

So, if you need a film with a faux-Rambo cuttin’ loose in the woods of North California taking down pot growers in a rejected First Blood sequel, this is the film to see. And, you’ll notice — if you know your Cirio like we hope you do — he never, ever lets those three-wheeled apoc trikes go to waste. Oh, and Corman never lets the stock footage destruction of the likes Avalanche go to waste, either. Or wherever that dam footage came from. For you know Cirio didn’t shoot that for the film.

MGM/UA picked up a bunch of Corman’s Concorde stuff, which includes a lot of the Cirio H. Santiago canons, so this one is easy to find on disc. But, you know us: we found you a freebie on You Tube. You can also sample the trailer.

* One, if not all, of those films will be reviewed this week. We think. We’ve lost track at this point as all of the movies are bleeding into one, never-ending nightmare. So use the search box, you tamad anák sa labás.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

“Very funny. You should be on the Johnny Carson show.”
— Dialog as only the Philippine film industry can dub

Teddy Page in the director’s chair. Philippines War flick mainstay Jim Gaines penning the script that he also stars in. And Gaines brings along pals Mike Monty, Nick Nicholson, and Paul Vance . . . in a Silver Star Film Company Production.

Load the tape. Let’s roll the stock music and jittery n’ wobbly opening titles and get to the explosions.

Well, unlike the last couple of films PWFs we’ve watched this week, at least this one has opening titles and credits all of the actors. But you are probably wondering who in the hell Robert Mason is. Well, Mason is another of those expatiated American actors who appeared in all of our beloved Philippine war and post-apoc flicks throughout the ’80s.

Mason is also an actor that achieved a level of Michael Sopkiw-ness in my VHS spoolin’ heart.

While Sopkiw bailed after four — better made, natch — Italian ditties (2019: After the Fall of New York being the pinnacle, IMO), Mason kept it going in these Philippine patch jobs for 30 starring roles, beginning with Willy Milan in the apoc-epic Mad Warrior. If there’s a made-in-the-Philippines actioner with the word “Commando,” “Vengeance,” “Warrior,” “Blood,” or “Thunder” in the title: Robert Mason was in it. The B&S About Movies elusivie Warriors of the Apocalypse by Bobby A. Suarez (with Roger Moore’s daughter Deborah Barrymore, aka Deborah Moore!): Robert Mason was there. A ripoff of Oliver Stone’s Platoon with Assault Platoon (1990): Robert Mason was there. Need a solid actor to prop up Sam “Flash Gordon” Jones in a Mad Max rip: Robert Mason is there in Driving Force.

So, we are in 1982 Cambodia and already, we’re in a firefight-for-no-reason with a helicopter and a tank, so there’s more money spent on this than most Philippine Rambo rips. We think. It could be stocked-out from another film. But whatever the hell this fight is about, we do know from the conveniently dropped voice over that “Operation Green Hornet” failed and left 600 dead. And one of those two soldiers stranded for enemy capture is “Wild Weasel” and he is lost. Or “Wild Weasel” is a MacGuffin of some sort.

Why an unarmed civilian passenger copter flew into a war zone for an extraction is not a question we should be asking. We should also not be asking why all of expositional dialog is spewed in only wide shots with no close ups: for we know that is to cover the fact that is a patch job from a couple of left over Southeast Asian films from the ’70s doin’ the Viet Cong Two-Step in the Rambo ’80s. At least we think it’s a patch job. With these films you just don’t know: there’s stock footage and there’s shot linking material and none it matches well and none of it makes sense. But there’s all of those cheap-to-make exploding huts and bamboo and palm-thatched roofed guard towers blowing up that we expected. Even thought might be from another film. Like that errant tank. And helicopter.

Oh, my god. Budget! There’s a machine gun-packin’ river patrol boat? A gun battle with a Cambodian Junk. Oh, my god! They blew up the gun boat? And Mason is in the footage? Wow! Actually real footage was shot?! And, what . . . that’s it? So much for waiting for one hour for that excitement. Well, back to the mismatched office footage with white guys in wrinkled military fatigues man-bitchin’ about stuff that probably has to do with greed because in these films us Americans are never about the democracy but the green we don’t want the Russians to have. Fuck the poor Cambodians, aka the Philippine “ahiiiyaaaah” extras, because to quote Gordon Gekko: “Greed is Good.”

So, through the shot-through-cheese cloth cinematography and more babbling about a “common enemy” of the Kampuchean people, we come to learn that “Wild Weasel” — since we never actually seen the jet or the crash — is a new, top secret jet with an advanced rocket system. And U.S. Air Force Pilot Captain Ted Wilson (Robert Mason) was shot down by the KGB (the KGB and CIA are always at it in these films). Or the KGB sabotaged the jet; again, we never seen the jet or the KGB baddies or an airstrip. And now our Captain is behind enemy lines. And amid all of this is Paul Vance’s Colonel organizing a rescue mission. Not so much for God. Or country. Or the men. But for the plane, boss. The plane. We know this because a couple of dopey white guys bicker over “Wild Weasel” and money and drop “Johnny Carson” jokes at the 30-minute mark.

“Hey, this sounds a lot like that Owen Wilson and Gene Hackman-starring plane-shot-down-rescue flick Behind Enemy Lines, only without the Carson jibe,” you ponder.

Nope. This was made 15 years earlier . . . in the Year of our Sly n’ Arnie. Oh, and just so you know the era we are in: keep your eyes open for those ubiquitous Ronald Reagan pictures on the desks and walls. But that may be stock from another film. Or maybe those set designers for Silver Star thought the Reagan pics tricked us into thinking we are in the States and not in Manila that’s masquerading as Cambodia in a film that is also masquerading as a third installment of the “Commander” series. What was Commander I and II, you ask us. Again, this is a Philippine war movie with no plot and no characterization and all so interchangeable and you need not ask why.

Just enjoy the War Without End on You Tube.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

The most comforting aspect of these Philippine First Blood and Commando inversions is that you can always count on Mike Monty, Nick Nicholson, and Paul Vance to show up as the ubiquitously evil CIA, KGB, or General (from either the Ruskie or Yank side) with one hand over their heart — and the other in the war-profiteering honeypot.

The truth is, for as awful as these Southeast Asian namsploitation’ers can get, they are sociopolitical eye openers. Here, in the U.S., we safely experienced the Vietnam War that raged between November 1, 1955 – April 30, 1975, as “Big Three” network evening news broadcasts; the peoples of Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia lived it — in real time. And those horrors spilled into the islands of Indonesia. So, while hokey, these films do you give an understanding of how Indonesians viewed the western outsiders: as plutocrats. For the Americans, and even the Russians, not only screw each other, but themselves — with the “freedom” of the region on the bottom of the political agendas.

However . . . you think us Yanks get it bad in these movies: the Russians get it worse. According to No Dead Heroes, aka War Machine and Commando Massacre, the Russians have complete and total control of Central America, as they make their way up through Mexico and, eventually, into Texas (Chuck Norris’s Invasion, U.S.A ripping). All Russians hate god. All Russian men perpetually rape women. Russians will kill anyone and everyone, the young and the infirm be damned. Do they love their children too, Sting? Eh, maybe. But they do hate all the non-Russian kiddies.

“Ack. What are you doing? Political insights in a review of a Philippine war flick?”

Yeah, you’re right. Back to the mindless drivel.

First off: I am burnt out on my PWF binge this week. You know the “plot” of these films, by now, right? And Sony did a pretty decent job in the art and copywriting departments with the VHS marketing: so read the sleeve for the plot.

No, I can’t be that remiss in my reviewing duties. Besides, that copy could use some simplification.

So, we have an over-the-top Russian General conducting KGB experiments at a Vietnam prison camp. And we send in Richard Sanders and Harry Cotter (Max Thayer and John Dresden) to save the prisoners from the insane experiments. What’s “insane” about them: VC operatives are supplying Americans for the Russians to stick microchips into their brains (Hey, it’s the Apple-DOS ’80s*) to turn them into “robot assassins” via a Russian agent’s wristwatch controller.

Natch, Cotter’s not very good at his black-ops missions and wet work assignments, since he — as do all of our heroes in these Philippine war flicks, for we’d have no “plot” to speak of — is captured. Of course, he’s implanted with a chip.

Flash forward ten years . . .

Cotter — after “a command” to kill his family — is sent out on assassination missions, such as to kill the Pope and, eventually, the President of the United States. Of course, we don’t have the budget for anything to be shot in the U.S. or at the Vatican, so his Holiness conveniently tours the oppressed believers of El Salvador, aka the jungles on the outskirts of Milan. When the plan is discovered, the only man for the job is the only man who “thinks” like Cotter, which is his old friend and fellow soldier, Richard Sanders, from that botched mission from ten yahrens ago.

So, in addition to First Blood, Commando, Missing in Action, and Platoon, we’re in a pinch of Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren’s Universal Soldier, along with a dash of the political thriller The Manchurian Candidate — which you most likely know for the 2004 remake with Denzel Washington, but this one pinches from the John Frankenheimer version made in 1962 with Frank Sinatra.

So, all of the expected spliced-in-clips from other films, awful dubbing, poor editing, distorted music, out-of-place sound effects that sound nothing like the actual weapon portrayed, dialog that cuts off cold before an actor can finish a sentence, ensues. It’s like a mixed-up baffle-job of the Alfonzo Brescia Italian Space Opera variety: only we are not in space and Uncle Al didn’t make it (we love ol’ Al’s Star Wars rips!).

On the upside: this one does bring on the blood. There’s so many bodies dropping, you start to lose count. Which is why we’re here in the first place: the blood and hut explosions. Get the hell out of here with that “plot” and “acting” nonsense.

Now, lets get down to what’s under the VHS sleeve.

Our director, Junn P. Cabreira, aka the Americanized J.C Miller, amassed 42 directing and 10 writing credits in a career that stretched back to 1974. But none of those mostly Filipino/Tagalog-titled films — even in the product-rabid VHS ’80s — received widespread distribution beyond their Indonesian homelands. Sure, there’s a few English-titled films that might have hit the Western drive-in circuits, possibly even home video shelves, with titles such as The Deadly Rookies (1978; starring Willy Milan!), The Tiger and the Lady (1979; starring 380-credits strong Romy Diaz), Cover Girls and Hotel House Detective (both 1981; with 600-credits Indonesian leading man Eddie Garcia), and Dope Godfather (1983, 200-credits Vic Vargas). Then there’s something called Eastwood and Bronson (1989) that, based on the title — and the fact that Indonesia “matinee idols” Richard Gomez and Joey Marquez channel Clint Eastwood and Charles Bronson in a rip of an U.S. “buddy cop” film — I want to see it even more (Magsalita tungkol sa demonyo! As of October 2021 — several months after writing this — there’s a non-dubbed copy on You Tube! Mahusay!).

What helps this Rambo-rip entry is that it was made specifically for distribution outside of Indonesia with English-speaking audiences — especially the Rambo-swamped U.S. — in mind. While they were not “stars,” well, they are at B&S About Movies, we have Max Thayer (Planet of Dinosaurs, No Retreat, No Surrender 2) and John Dresden (Big Bad Mama II) as our John Rambo and John Matrix stand-ins. Both actors struggled for a foothold in American TV and films, only managing bit parts, but forged a fruitful co-starring and leading man career in Indonesian cinema with roles in Cirio H. Santiago’s Final Mission (coming this week, search for it), Teddy Page’s Phantom Soldiers (coming this week, look for it; we are writing ahead, here), and the Cameron Mitchell-starring Raw Force (nope, you’re on your own, we can’t watch them all).

But thanks to Sly Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Chuck Norris — and to a lesser extent, Oliver Stone with Platoon — igniting a cottage industry in Indonesia, we will remember Junn P. Cabreira the best — well, the only film, really — for his Rambo Namsplotation entry.

Ugh. Not again. We had freebie ready to go and now it’s gone. Thank goodness for watching early and taking notes in my ol’ spiral notebook. Yeah, there’s a couple other free streams out there, but the links are iffy: just don’t do it. And that’s too bad, as I like this one and I think you will to, as it is one of the better Rambo clones, courtesy of Max Thayer and John Dresden, along with the familiar faces of Mike Monty, Nick Nicholson, and Paul Vance. Eh, give this 7 minute clip a spin to see if you want to go the full (Mike) monty.

*More A.I tomfoolery with these features!

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

Finally. Phew. We are off the Godfrey Ho patch jobs sprockets of fate for an actual film: this one made by true Philippine film stars in actor-writer-directors Rudy Dominguez (80-plus credits) and Ernie Ortega (140-plus credits). Sadly, not many of their films made it to U.S. video shores with English dubs — not even their Rambo rip. Ernie’s biggest role — as far as U.S. audiences are concerned — was in Chuck Norris’s own Rambo rip with Missing in Action (1984).

Remember in First Blood how war veteran John Rambo went searching for his old war buddy stateside? Well, here we have war Sgt. E. Samson (iconic comedic actor Palito with 120-credits) on a personal mission to deliver a letter to the wife of a friend who died in the war. And as with Rambo before him: the town, well, village sheriff (Ernie Ortega) beats the troublesome vet and runs him out of the village. And like Rambo before him . . . well, you better bring the body bags, because the sheriff just tapped back into Samson’s “killer instincts” and there’s hell to be paid. And, yes, there’s a Col. Trautman here — to reel in our crazed pastry chef. Yes, you heard us right: this is a namsploitation parody joint.

As you can see from the cover, Palito ain’t no ripped Sly Stallone, and he’s mostly know for his comedic films in the Philippines. So, when our “Rambo” gets into a Kung-fu fight (and we use the term “Kung-fu” loosely), it’s more like Moe and Larry from The Three Stooges having at it, with slaps and face pokes. Oh, and Samson’s “heroism” was working as a cook — that specialized in pastries — for the American troops. Just seeing the stick-thin Palito running around with a knife that would give Crocodile Dundee pause, and lifting a rocket launcher bigger than his entire body, is, well comic gold, apparently for Philippines audiences, since this made bank. So Palito kept the bit going for two more films: Johnny Rambo Tango and Ram-Bone, and even did a James Bond spoof, James Bone: Agent 001.

Too bad there’s not an English dub or English subtitle to follow along with the Filipino and Tagalog languages, as there’s an actual film here that’s not a patchjob from other films. You can pick at the full film on You Tube.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

Oh, Ho, Ho
Oh, Godfrey
You know-oh-oh-o-o
I never believe it’s not so
That your films aren’t “magic” to me
(da-dun)

Many have not tried. But I not only tried, but succeeded, in watching (and reviewing!) your Sly-cum-Arnie-cum-Sheen-cum-Norris ripoffs in a marathon weekend. From Soldier Terminators to Mission War Flame to Super Platoon to Top Mission*. And now: here we are with Fatal Command. And some of these are second watches from my first exposure back in the VHS rental ’80s.

Why?

Because you’re the David A. Prior of the Philippines . . . and what one of your films doesn’t kill me will make me stronger. At least until the Teddy Page warsploitation flicks start rolling.

Ugh. I wish you’d splice in some Richard Harrison (Rescue Team) or Romano Kristoff (Slash Exterminator) into this patch-hack joint of yours. Well, at least you’ve given us yet another alias to talk about: now you’re Victor Sears behind the lens. And your big “star” this time out is Tao Chang. But since he was in your film Ninja Thunderbolt (1984), I have my doubts that Chang was actually in this film and not just cut-in from Ninja Thunderbolt. Sure, Chein Sun — from my ol’ rental favorite Five Deadly Venoms (1978) is here. But from which of the 40-some films he did previously was he “cast” from into your film? Okay, in your defense, Godfrey: Chang was also in your films Ninja 8: Warrior of Fire, Terminal Angels, Ninja Death Squad, and The Vampire Raiders, so maybe there’s some original footage here to be had.

Uh, there’s not.

For this is another Filmark International Presents boondoggle that is just another puzzling puzzle of an enigma wrapped in riddle stuffed inside a mystery. Yeah, American actress-turned-screenwriter and dialog doctor Sally Nichols (aka Nicholls, also of Mission War Flame fame) is Godfrey Ho’s right-hand girl. She’s on the Brother typewriter and she’s trying and, truth be told, does a pretty amazing job (seriously, no sarcasm intended) bringing some semblance of a “plot” to these bits and pieces of old Pacific Rim films from the ’70s.

So, if you haven’t guessed by now: Southeast Asia is ripped apart by the Russians and the Americans who want to inject their political system into the region. So the KGB sends their agents, led by the rabid killer, Ivan, into Kampuchea to wipe out the American forces backed by the CIA. Of course, greed is good, even when Communism will take over the region. And in this region: Americans turn on Americans. Thus, John Matthews, the CIA agent paired with our good, U.S.-sympathizing Vietnamese agent, Jim, turns on Jim. We think. Or is General Wells — who put John and Jim together — the bad guy?

Okay, well, I see you noticed that nekkid lady on the VHS cover. Well, she’s some type of spy who betrayed General Wells, so she’s kidnapped and dies during the kidnapping. What does this have to do with the plot? Nothing. Well, no. We think she was Jim’s girlfriend. Or wife. Or something. It has to be, because Jim just sneaked into a children’s birthday party to kill the father of the man who failed at kidnapping his lady friend and killed her. Don’t forget: Jim’s the good guy, here. Imagine Rambo firing bullets into a birthday party to get revenge on Charles Napier or Jack Starlett?

And . . . this is the part of the review where, again, we drop the verb “ensues,” to work our way out of the review because nothing else ensues . . . expect a lot of running around a shallow river bed as the machine guns blaze and the grenades toss. And there’s no tanks. And that fleet of helicopters on the VHS cover never comes. But Jim — riddled with bullets and a couple of arrows in the back, dies in a river bed.

The message here? Uh, greed wins? Americans don’t give a damn about democratic freedom in Southeast Asia unless there’s a financial profit to be made? Again, Sally Nichols (aka Nicholls) weaved the dialog and was trying, but when you’re up against the Steenbeck of celluloid fate spun by Godfrey Ho, it’s a craps toss you can’t win, Sally. As with Ho’s Mission War Flame*, it was downright criminal to patch these “movies” together and dress them with Ramboesque artwork to toss onto the home video shelves. Even with my local video store’s 5-5-5 plan — with Ho’s films — you can’t say, “Well, it’s just a dollar.” Even at a dollar rental fee, this one’s a ripoff.

Celluloid masochists can fast forward through Fatal Command at their own peril on You Tube.

* We are writing ahead, here, so use that search box. You’re not that lazy to copy n’ paste, are you?

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

Gordon Mitchell: I thought I knew ye. Why are you here? Well, I know you did 2+5 Mission Hydra (1966), but a Rambo rip? Were times that tough?

Born Charles Allen Pendleton in Denver, Colorado, Gordon “The Bronze Giant” Mitchell became the requisite Italian-peplum actor by way of his bit parts in The Ten Commandments (1956) and Spartacus (1960). Then Steve Reeves made bank with Hercules (1958), and beefcakes like Pendleton — regardless of their lack in speaking Italian — headed off into the Neapolitan sunset, with films such as Atlas Against the Cyclops and The Giant of Metropolis (both 1961), Vulcan, Son of Jupiter and Caesar Against the Pirates (both 1962), and a bundle of spaghetti westerns, such as Three Graves for a Winchester (1966), along with Poliziotteschis and Giallos. Did he do Nazisploitation? He did: Achung! The Desert Tigers! (1977). Sexploitation? He did: Porno-Erotic Western (1979). Joe D’Amato even got Gordon Mitchell into the post-apoc game with Endgame (1983).

Then his career, like all careers do, cooled. So, along with fellow expatriate American actors Richard Harrision and Mike Monty, they headed off to the Philippines to work with John Gale, aka Jun Gallardo, the “star” of Silver Star Productions. Silver Star is a studio you’ve heard mentioned often during our first “Philippines War Week” in August and again, during this second week. All of these film rotate the same actors, either in new footage, or via old footage cut-in from other films; the recycling resulted in the likes of actors such as Mike Cohen, Jim Gaines, Romano Kristoff, Mike Monty, Nick Nicholson, Ronnie Patterson, Paul Vance (who scripts here), and Ken Watanabe (no, not that one; the Nine Deaths of the Ninja one) “starring” in movies they didn’t even sign up to appear in. In fact, the recycling into films of lesser and lesser production value ended up damaging the career of Richard Harrison; after a string of plagiarized Philippines hokum, no studios of note wanted to work with him.

And the same could be said for Gordon Mitchell, who started pumping out the Rambo-cum-Commandos (with touches of Raiders of the Lost Ark) for the Italians, the Turks, and Germans with the likes of Treasures of the Lost Desert, Diamond Connection, and White Fire (all 1984), and Operation Nam (1986). While Terror Force Commando, aka Three Men on Fire (1986), is plugged into the ’80s Philippines war cycle, it’s actually an Italian production; a final directing effort (of four) by Richard Harrison, it was his longtime pet-project, which he also wrote and produced. A hard-to-find film, Harrison stars with his longtime friends and fellow Philippine celluloid mainstays Romano Kristoff and Gordon Mitchell.

And cue Jun Gallardo, who hired Gordon — along with Jim Gaines, Paul Vance, and Ken Watanabe — to star in this Stallone-Arnie clone, along with SFX Retailiator.

Of course, with Silver Star Productions, the character flashbacks and/or story prologues are the thing, so all of that stock war footage from previous films — of their own or of others — can be cut-in to “up” the production values of their cash-strapped productions; for there is no way Silver Star can afford to rent out tanks. And if they did, they’re maximizing that one-shot tank footage whenever possible — which is all the time. You know, like Corman with his Star Wars droppings-recycling we speak of often around here. And like the Alfonso Brescia Pasta Wars droppings we speak of often around here.

So, in some of the half-dozen alternate theatrical one-sheets and VHS sleeves for Commando Invasions, you may see one with a big ol’ diamond on the cover. Well, our “Rambo” adventures begin with a French military convoy in 1950s-era Vietnam responsible for transporting retrieved jewels and art works: they’re ambushed, with the spoils stolen.

Flash forward to the height of the Vietnam war in 1965: The loot has been tracked down by Captain Brady (our “Rambo,” played by Michael James in his first starring role; the other was 1987’s Crossbone Territory; David Carradine fans seen James in P.O.W: The Escape) and his squad. The mission — with the usual “set up” behind the scenes — goes bad: the squad is dead and Brady survives — with a fistful of diamonds in his hands. But a court martial can’t be the end of the movie. Nope.

So — and only in the movies, or at least in the Philippines’ logic of movies — Brady is given a week to head back into the jungle, track down the real culprits (the Cong, natch), and prove his innocence. The betrayals and crosses, bullets (why do guns firing bullets sound like lasers all the time in these flicks) and exploding huts (from other films) ensues — with Gordon Mitchell’s General MacMoreland in cahoots with VC General Diap (Ken Watanabe). Or something like that.

Hey, we’re not here for the plot and thespin’: we’re here for the action. And for the Jun Gallardo the-cover-is-always-better-than-the-movie slop. If you need to complete the Jun Gallardo “war shelf,” his other early-to-mid-’80s not-Rambo flicks are Intrusion: Cambodia, Rescue Team, and The Firebird Conspiracy. (Damn straight! We reviewed all three this week, for we ain’t no lazy anák sa labás.)

There’s no trailer to share, but we found a copy of Commando Invasion on You Tube to enjoy. Oh, and don’t get burned as I did and confuse this one with Invasion Cambodia, aka Intrusion: Cambodia, okay? They are, in fact, two different films.

Oh, yes! There are a LOT of Philippine-made Sly-cum-Arnie romps with the word “Commando” in the title, as our two-week “Philippine War Week” has proven, but . . . did you know Russian cinema also not only did their own knockoffs of popular American films, but blatant shot-for-shot remakes? True story. So be sure to check out Den-D, because, the Russians love their movies, too.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.