Philippine War Week II: No Blood No Surrender (1986)

Finally. Phew. We are off the Godfrey Ho patch jobs sprockets of fate for an actual film: this one made by true Philippine film stars in actor-writer-directors Rudy Dominguez (80-plus credits) and Ernie Ortega (140-plus credits). Sadly, not many of their films made it to U.S. video shores with English dubs — not even their Rambo rip. Ernie’s biggest role — as far as U.S. audiences are concerned — was in Chuck Norris’s own Rambo rip with Missing in Action (1984).

Remember in First Blood how war veteran John Rambo went searching for his old war buddy stateside? Well, here we have war Sgt. E. Samson (iconic comedic actor Palito with 120-credits) on a personal mission to deliver a letter to the wife of a friend who died in the war. And as with Rambo before him: the town, well, village sheriff (Ernie Ortega) beats the troublesome vet and runs him out of the village. And like Rambo before him . . . well, you better bring the body bags, because the sheriff just tapped back into Samson’s “killer instincts” and there’s hell to be paid. And, yes, there’s a Col. Trautman here — to reel in our crazed pastry chef. Yes, you heard us right: this is a namsploitation parody joint.

As you can see from the cover, Palito ain’t no ripped Sly Stallone, and he’s mostly know for his comedic films in the Philippines. So, when our “Rambo” gets into a Kung-fu fight (and we use the term “Kung-fu” loosely), it’s more like Moe and Larry from The Three Stooges having at it, with slaps and face pokes. Oh, and Samson’s “heroism” was working as a cook — that specialized in pastries — for the American troops. Just seeing the stick-thin Palito running around with a knife that would give Crocodile Dundee pause, and lifting a rocket launcher bigger than his entire body, is, well comic gold, apparently for Philippines audiences, since this made bank. So Palito kept the bit going for two more films: Johnny Rambo Tango and Ram-Bone, and even did a James Bond spoof, James Bone: Agent 001.

Too bad there’s not an English dub or English subtitle to follow along with the Filipino and Tagalog languages, as there’s an actual film here that’s not a patchjob from other films. You can pick at the full film on You Tube.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

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