April 4: Remake, remix, ripoff — A shameless remake, remix or ripoff of a much better known movie. Allow your writing to travel the world (we recommend Italy or Turkey).
Mikhail Porechenkov is Ivan, who let’s face it, is John Matrix, because this movie is pretty much a shot for shot remake of Commando minus, you know, being made in America. Instead of Sherman Oaks Mall, it’s a beach resort and instead of a car chase, you get snowmobiles. But still, this is still the same movie and you know, if you’re going to steal, at least they steal from the right movie, you know?
As Matrix just wants to retire with his daughter Jenny, Ivan wants to do the same with Zhenya ( Varvara Porechenkova). Instead, terrorists attack, kidnap her and force him to kill a world leader if he ever wants to see her again. You’ve seen it all before, but…well, you’ve seen it all before.
FilmReporter.de had a line about this movie that made me laugh out loud, saying that Porechenkov had all the one-man fighting techniques of a Bud Spencer, so this movie has a lot of slaps, if no beans. If you got that one, congrats. You’ve seen as many Italian movies as I have. Actually, both German websites I found info on this movie from compare Porechenkov to Spencer. He also directed the movie and I think he’d rather be compared to Schwarzenegger.
Well, in Germany, this was called Die Ruckkehr or Phantom Commando. That makes sense.
I learned about this movie from Ed Glaser, author of How the World Remade Hollywood, which you can buy from McFarland Books. Here’s a fun video he made about D-Day.