“Right here, in our own backyard, in the more civilized parts of the world, are practiced some of the most uncivilized acts ever conceived!” Antonio Scarpati directed this, a one and done view of the world in 1965, in the time before the internet when life was cheap. Acually, life has always been cheap.

Joel Holt, who would go on the narrorate Paris Topless and two of the Olga movies — as well as direct part of The Wild, Wild World of Jayne Mansfield — is the voice that will take us through this world.

You may notice that nearly none of this movie is real. Like when we’re in Central Park, the rapist is Richard B. Shull from Sssssss and Spring Break. And when we see a photographer taking photos of nude models, that’s Sammy Petrillo, who once teamed with Duke Mitchell to make Bela Lugosi meets a Brooklyn Gorilla. While gay men dance on rooftops, Sammy is taking snaps of girls acting as if Irving Klaw was nearby.

This is a sick world, a place where prostitiutes do heroin while a roomful of people dance the Twist, where Lucky Kargo (The Hookers, Venus In Furs) gets in a brawl with Sam Stewart (Bad Girls Go to Hell), where performance art is really people beating up one another and fat people always get a laugh.

Reality TV has replaced the mondo, but the same scum always rises to the top. I don’t say that as a bad thing. This one is faker than the other, but has that ever stopped me from watching one of these.

Have I mentioned that I like Umberto Lenzi movies? Oh yeah. I totally have.

Well back in 1965 — he made this spy caper, which has Ingrid Schoeller (Son of Django) as Macdonald, also known as British Agent 006. She’s working with Frank Smith, American Agent 006. Together, they are hunting down something called “anti-radar.” But it seems like 006 is actually a Russian spy.

Hey — at least it has this great poster.

Lenzi would make more spy-related movies after this, like The Spy Who Loved Flowers, Kriminal and Super Seven Calling Cairo. I’d rather celebrate him for movies like Orgasmo, Eaten Alive!, Ghosthouse, Ironmaster, Seven Bloo Stained Orchids, Nightmare City and Nightmare Beach.

You can watch the whole thing on YouTube:

Also known as Bang You’re Dead, this Eurospy film was released in the U.S. by American International Pictures and released as part of a double feature with Secret Agent Fireball.

Secret Agent Bert Morris (Brett Halsey, The Devil’s Honey) mist rescue Paula Krauss (Pier Angeli, lover to both James Dean and Kirk Douglas, she died of an overdose at only 31 after making Octaman), whose father has developed a death ay. However, his boss Colonel Lancaster (Dana Andrews, Laura) has had a miniature camera inserted into his eye, which is broadcasting everything to the Russians.

As a fan of Yor Hunter from the Future, I feel duty bound to report that Pag (Luciano Pigozzi) is in this. And, of course, the evil Asian is played by George Wang, who covered that role for nearly every Italian film.

You can watch the whole movie on YouTube:

Tont means dumb in Italian and this was amongst the first spoofs of the Eurospy genre.

It’s directed by Sergio’s younger brother Bruno Corbucci and Giovanni Grimaldi, who are both known for their comedy work.

Lando Buzzanca, who was in Fulci’s Operation St. Peter’s, stars in this as James Tont and he’s up against Goldsinger, with the help of Barbara Ray,  Agent SOS 112 (she’s played by Evi Marandi from Planet of the Vampires).

During the height of the Eurospy craze, so many Italian films used 007 that United Artists threatened the Italian film with a lawsuit. This movie wasn’t given a U.S. release, but did play American television as part of a package called “Continental European film” by RKO. However, United Artists and Danjaq prevented this movie from being shown.

How’s that for Bondmania?

Based on a novel by Umberto Lenzi — and directed by him — this Bond clone starts Roger Browne (The Spy Who Loved Flowers, Emanuelle in America) as Agent Superseven Martin Stevens. He’s joined by Fabienne Dali (Kill, Baby, Kill), Massimo Serato (Autopsy, The Blood Stained Shadow), Rosalba Neri (The Arena) and Paolo Bonacelli, who has the disturbing movie daily double of being in both Salo and Caligula.

A new radioactive metal has been found and its up to our hero to go to Cairo to find it. This means that he must, of course, romance the ladies and kill several people. You know what it’s like for those 1960’s spies.

You can watch this on YouTube:

Jess Franco wrote the script and music for this movie, so between that and me watching over a hundred Eurospy movies in a month, I just had to tackle this. Brett Halsey in the main role? Added bonus.

This is the first of three Eurospy films that Ken Clark starred in as Dick Malloy, Agent 077. This time, he’s on a search and destroy mission to take back Bloody Mary, a portable nuclear weapon, from the Black Lily crime syndicate.

Eurospy movies unite more countries than a world war, let me tell you. This was an Italian, French and Spanish co-production with an American lead actor.

Helga Line (Horror Express, So Sweet…So Perverse) is in this, as is Maryse Guy Mitsouko (who would later be in Thunderball), Umberto Raho (The Bird with the Crystal Plumage), Andrea Scotti (The Fifth Cord) and Erika Blanc (The Night Evelyn Came Out of Her Grave).

It was directed by Sergio Grieco, who would also make the Eurospy films Agent 077: From the Orient, Password: Kill Agent Gordon, Special Mission Lady Chaplin, Argoman the Fantastic Superman and The Tiffany Memorandum. 

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Seeing as how so much of Austin Powers was influenced by this film, it seemed natural to bring back this review, originally posted on September 1, 2018. This is one of my favorite of the Eurospy-influenced movies. Enjoy!

How do you avoid warfare in the future? The Big Hunt is the answer. It’s the most popular form of entertainment there is, bringing in all types of people who want to be rich and famous. Every competitor has to complete ten rounds of the game — five as a hunter, five as a victim. If you survive, you retire with more wealth than you can ever dream of. And if you don’t make it…

Caroline (Ursula Andress, Dr. No, The Mountain of the Cannibal God) is one of those competitors, using a powerful shotgun to hunt her final target. If she gets a perfect kill, right in front of the cameras, she’ll make even more money, thanks to her sponsorship from the Ming Tea Company. And that target? Marcello (Marcello Mastroianni,  La Dolce Vita, 8½), a man whom she finds herself in love with. The big problem is neither is sure if they have the right target and if you accidentally kill the wrong person, you lose the game.

From the jazzy score by Piero Piccioni to a scene where Andress kills a victim with a bra that has gun barrels inside it, this film is pure 60’s pop spy retro-future perfection. Director Elio Petri (A Quiet Place in the Country) turned Robert Sheckley’s short story into a comic book-looking film with incredibly gorgeous lead actors. Anne Margaret and Sue Lyon (Lolita herself!) were both considered for the role, but no one but Andress would have been right in my opinion.

If you’re watching this and thinking, this movie looks like Austin Powers, that’s no accident. The character of Austin Powers started in a Mike Myers music side project known as…Ming Tea. Yes, the very same Ming Ting from this movie. Featuring The Bangles’ Susanna Hoffs as Gillian Shagwell, Matthew Sweet as Sid Belvedere, Stuart Johnson as Manny Stixman and Christopher Ward as Trevor Aigburth, the band recorded several songs, including two that appeared in Austin Powers films.

The look of those films come directly from this movie and other 60’s pop art films, such as Barbarella, Danger: Diabolik! and Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs (it’s not an accident that two of Bava’s films are on this list, he had this look down pat). It’s worth mentioning that the film’s costumes were designed by Andre Courreges, one of the most iconic clothing designers of the twentieth century, who is credited with innovating so much of the mod look and is credited with redefining the go-go boot and inventing the mini-skirt (along with Mary Quant).

If you’re looking for this yourself, Shameless Films put out one that works on UK region players that has a lenticular animated cover. For those of us in the US (and elsewhere), Blue Underground has also released this on DVD.

You can also watch this on Tubi and Vudu.

After James Bond gets killed, who can stop the evil Goldginger? If you said Franco Franchi and Ciccio Ingrassia — yes, the same duo from Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs — then you’d be right. How did you guess?

Somehow, this movie was bought by American International Pictures, dubbed into English and sold as part of their AIP-TV movie package as The Amazing Dr. G. It’s also known as Goldginger.

Just as a warning: the comedy duo spends a great deal of time in this movie in blackface. This was 1965, long before people understood how horrible this behavior was. It’s not an excuse, but I want you to go in warned.

The henchman Molok is played by Dakar, a Peruvian pro wrestler who fought in the Luna Park against Martín Karadagián as part of Titanes en el Ring. He’s also in the Umberto Lenzi spy film Last Man to Kill, Zombie and played the High Priest of the Spider in Ator the Fighting Eagle.

Rosalba Neri is also on hand. She’s in plenty of Eurospy movies like Superseven Calls on Cairo, Lucky the Inscrutable, OSS 117 – Double Agent and Password: Kill Agent Gordon. She also shows up in Lucifera: Demon Lover, Amuck!, Lady Frankenstein and Franco’s 99 Women.

George Hilton is in this for just a second as Bond. What perfect casting.

You can watch this on Tubi under its American title, Two Crazy Secret Agents.