MILL CREEK THE SWINGIN’ SEVENTIES: A Real American Hero (1978)

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Also known as The Letter of the Law and Big Stick, this is a movie about Buford Pusser, except instead of Joe Don Baker, Bo Sevenson, The Rock or Kevin Sorbo, it has Brian Dennehy in the lead. Keep in mind this came out five years after the first movie and a year after Walking Tall: Final Chapter.

Buford Hayse Pusser was the sheriff of McNairy County, Tennessee, from 1964 to 1970, and constable of Adamsville from 1970 to 1972. During his time on the force, he survived seven stabbings and eight shootings as the result of his war on moonshining, prostitution and gambling on the Mississippi and Tennessee state line.

Already a local hero, Pusser’s war on the State Line Mob went national when his wife Pauline was killed on August 12, 1967. There was an ambush intended for him, brought on by common-law husband of a woman who tried to kill Pusser and who he shot and killed in self defense,

Pusser died on August 21, 1974, of injuries sustained in a one-car automobile accident four miles west of Adamsville on the same day that he met with Bing Crosby Productions in Memphis to talk about playing himself in the sequel to Walking Tall. It was claimed he was drunk driving but no autopsy was ever conducted.

As his legend grew — even when he was alive — singer Eddie Bond wrote and recorded several songs honoring Pusser, beginning with “Buford Pusser” in 1968 and then released Eddie Bond Sings The Legend Of Buford Pusser five years later. Pusser even recorded on Stax subsidiary Respect and even today, bands like The Mountain Goats and The Drive-By Truckers sing about him. And in 1973, when the first movie was made, he became a hero to many.

There’s a good cast here, with Forrest Tucker as Carl Pusser (he also played the same role in Final Chapter: Walking Tall), Brian Kerwin as Til Johnson, Ken Howard as Danny Boy Mitchell and Sheree North as Carrie Todd. It was directed by Lou Antonio and written by Samuel A. Peeples. If you don’t know the story from the other movies, here it is again. I like Dennehy, but I’m partial to Joe Don Baker. Then again, this led to the seven episode TV series. I can remember seeing all the commercials for these movies and I thought it was kind of sad that people kept glorifying someone who was dead, but I was a kid and what did I know.

Don’t have the box set? You can watch this on Tubi.

TUBI ORIGINAL: Hot Girl Winter (2023)

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Mrs. Jess Claus (Golden Brooks) is sick of waiting for her husband Nick Claus (Jason Mimms) to stop working and cancel their annual vacation. So to put the spark back in her marriage, she goes to Miami on her own and gets back together with her best friend from college ,Tamira (Schelle Purcell). As you can probably read there, she’s Mrs. Claus. He’s Santa Claus. And she’s having a hot girl weekend in Miami to see if she can find the naughty outside of her nice — and not there — marriage.

Directed by Patricia Cuffie-Jones, who also made Tubi Original Immortal City Records and co-wrote this with Barbara Zagrodnik (Tubi Originals Five Star Murder and Blood, Sweat and Cheer), your willingness to enjoy this may depend on the idea of wanting to see Santa’s wife put her eggnog down and get her groove back.

Mrs. Claus has the magical powers to see people’s naughty or nice history as well as drop holiday beats inside their brains. One imagines that Mr. Claus can do the same and is currently not all that happy that his wife is dancing with other men. One of those men is Andy (Danny Pardo), an older man who she bonds with and then breaks his heart. That ends up nearly destroying her friend’s charity event.

Santa and his wife even have a son, Kris (De’Variyay Harris), who gets in the middle of all of this. But finally, Mr. Claus has enough and flies down to Miami to set things right.

Anyways — you never thought you’d see Santa strip down, but here we are. Enjoy.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Spagvemberfest 2023: A Pistol for 100 Coffins (1968)

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Also known as El sabor del odio (The Taste of Hate), A Gun for One Hundred Graves and Vengeance, this Italian-Spanish Western was directed by Umberto Lenzi and written by Marco Leto, Vittorio Salerno and Eduardo Manzanos.

Jim Slade (Peter Lee Lawrence) had it rough in the Civil War. He’s a Jehovah’s Witness, so he refused to shoot other soldiers. He’s locked up in a labor camp for cowardice before being pardoned. When he gets home, he finds that his parents are dead.

Jim gets over that whole thing about not killing people pretty quick, taking out three of the four suspects quickly. That’s when he goes after their leader, Texas Corbett (Piero Lulli), which brings him to Galveston. Seconds after he shows up, he meets a preacher by the name of Douglas (John Ireland) and witnesses a bank robbery. He soon learns that Corbett was behind that robbery, so he gets the job of sheriff so he can legally hunt down and kill him.

This feels like an Italian Western mixtape with a weird undertaker (A Fistful of Dollars) and an end battle in a cemetery (Django). Then again, if you get upset with every Italian movie that rips something off, you’re going to be angry your entire life.

My favorite thing about this is that even though Jim is now able to kill people, he only drinks water. Never whiskey.

You can watch this on Tubi.

MILL CREEK THE SWINGIN’ SEVENTIES: The Proud and the Damned (1972)

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Once Confederate soldiers and now mercenaries, Sgt. Will Hansen (Chuck Connors), Ike (Aron Kincaid), Hank (Henry Caps), Jeb (Smokey Robards), and Billy (Peter Ford) have just come from Texas to Colombia. In hours, they’re captured by General Martinez (Andres Marquis) and forced to join the rebels and report back what they discover from them.

Will also soon meets and falls for a gypsy girl named Mila (Anita Quinn) whose father is so angry about her dating a white man that he cuts off her ear. Will responds by shooting him because the holidays are gonna be weird after this. So because Will gets detained, Martinez finds him and hangs him. Yes, that’s right, the hero of the story dies before the end. The rest of the mercenaries — who never make any money from their soldier work — join the rebels, get revenge and get killed. Except Billy. Because of dumb luck, he fell off his horse and missed the deaths of his friends.

This was directed and written by Ferde Grofé Jr., who also made Hellraiders and Judgement Day. He finished shooting in 1969 and the movie wasn’t released until 1972, so it didn’t seem to work out all that well. At least Cesar Romero got some work.

Don’t have the box set? You can watch this on Tubi.

MILL CREEK THE SWINGIN’ SEVENTIES: The New Adventures of Heidi (1978)

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Directed by Ralph Senensky (Death Cruise) and written by John McGreevey (The Death of Richie), this remake moves Heidi from Switzerland to New York City. It’s also a musical.

Heidi is played by Katy Kurtzman and her friend Elizabeth Wyler is played by Sherrie Wills. It’s the same story you expect, as Elizabeth is fascinated by the rural life of Heidi and her grandfather (Burl Ives).

While you see a lot of snow in this, it was shot in the summer in Los Angeles, so the acting is pretty decent. After all, it was in the 80s while fake snow was falling on the ground. Also: the grandfather is assumed dead for nearly a year and no one calls the police or tries to help Heidi. Instead, they bring her to live with the rich people and treat her like a pet, then solve the grandfather’s blindness by paying for surgery because money solves everything.

Maybe I’ve never seen Heidi before or something.

Tales from the Crypt S2 E2: The Switch (1990)

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Arnold Schwarzenegger has only directed two projects: the TV movie Christmas In Connecticut and this episode. It’s based on “The Switch” from Tales from the Crypt #45, written by Carl Wessler and drawn by Graham Ingels. Strangely, this is the first story from the actual Tales from the Crypt comic book to be adapted for the show.

It’s a simple little parable. A rich elderly bachelor named Carlton Webster (William Hickey) wants to impress Linda (Kelly Preston) by switching his body with Hands, who is a more vital younger man (Rick Rossovich). Tey being young again turns out to be very expensive. And is she looking for looks or — shudder — money?

The Crypt Keeper even gets interrupted by Arnold in this!

Crypt Keeper: “Welcome horror hooligans, this is your shiver chef. It’s disgusting what people will do to stay young.”

Arnold: What’s the matter with you? Want to keep that 90-pound corpse for the rest of your death? Keep pumping while I tell the story. Tonight’s story is about an old man who finds a new wrinkle in the fountain of youth. A twisted tale that we call “The Switch.””

Roy Brocksmith, who plays the doctor who operates on Carlton, must be an Arnold favorite. He was Dr. Edgemar in Total Recall, the man who sends Arnold on an adventure. Arnold also enjoyed working with Kelly Preston on Twins, so he cast her, and he was in The Terminator with Rossovich (who is in Spellbinder with Preston).

MILL CREEK THE SWINGIN’ SEVENTIES: Rulers of the City (1976)

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Also known as The Big Boss, Mr. Scarface and Blood and Bullets, this was directed by Fernando Di Leo. He started his career mainly being known for his writing, including A Fistful of Dollars, For a Few Dollars More, Massacre Time, Live Like a Cop, Die Like a Man and so many more. He co-wrote it with Peter Berling, who was often in Kalus Kinski movies before writing a series of conspiracy novels about the Priory of Sion.

Tony (Henry Baer) works as a money collector for Cherico (Edmund Purdom) but he dreams of leaving his life of crime behind and settling on the beaches of Brazil. He decides to fast forward all the hard work of being a henchman by working with Rick (Al Cliver) and Napoli (Vittorio Caprioli) to rob the biggest boss of all, Scarface Manzari (Jack Palance).

It takes its time getting there, with Tony mostly cracking wise, cracking schools and, well, cracking smiles at the many ladies he sees during his days and nights of collecting blood money. He would have never even considered going after Scarface if he didn’t kill Cherico instead of repaying his debt. By the end, our hero has tracked his enemy — actually, his lifelong enemy, even if we don’t get that knowledge for some time — to a slaughterhouse where he wipes out the entire family.

Added bonus: Gisela Hahn (Devil Hunter, White Pop Jesus, Disco Fieber) is in the cast. And man, Jack Palance is so macho that he even makes a cigarette holder look manly. Like, the same kind of long effete cigarette holder that, let’s say, Cruella de Vil would use.

THAN-KAIJU-GIVING: Godzilla X the Kaiju Killer (2009)

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Directed by Chris Elchesyn, this is the story of the end of Earth, a planet with one human — XY-3 (Richard Jones and Danielle Ryan) — left alive and a planet filled with mutations. After a battle with the alien Mugal (Elchesyn), the cyborg soldier accidentally releases Stalkkus, a kaiju that turns on him. Only Godzilla can stop this monster.

This is a grim and gritty post-apocalyptic take on Godzilla which may not have him be the main character. For the budget, it’s an interesting movie even if the nu metal soundtrack may date it the further we get away from 2009. That’s a minor problem, however. It’s also pretty talky, but when the monsters start fighting, you’ll forget all about that.

Or maybe not, looking at some reviews. Guess some people don’t like Disturbed.

You can watch this on YouTube.

Artwork for this post from Matt Frank.

THAN-KAIJU-GIVING: Legendary Giant Beast Wolfman Vs. Godzilla (1983)

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Wolfman vs. Godzilla (Densetsu no Kyojū Ōkami Otoko tai Gojira or Legendary Beast Wolfman vs. Godzilla) is an incomplete fan film that was directed by Shizuo Nakajima. Nakajima also made Wolfman vs. Baragon, another fan film that he made with the assistance of several former Toho employees. Though filming began in 1983, it is unknown if the film is complete or will ever be released.

During his tenure at Toho, Nakajima served as a production assistant on Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla and Terror of Mechagodzilla. He still updates his Facebook page with clips of the movie.

With costumes by  Fuyuki Shinada, who would go on to design the monsters in Godzilla, Mothra and King Ghidorah: Giant Monsters All-Out Attack, there was ten hours of footage shot for this movie. It was unknown until a panel at a Godzilla convention in 2012.

Images from Wolfman vs. Baragon.

As far as can be told from the story, a werewolf becomes irradiated and grows to daikaiju size. Godzilla awakens from the North Pole and the two creatures fight. Godzilla may be a more out of control monster such as he was in the early Showa series but is the hero.

You can see the footage that exists here:

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