Chris Stokes and Marques Houston are the kings of Tubi movies, proving month after month that they know exactly what viewers are looking for, making movies about marriages gone wrong and lives destroyed in the process, including The Stepmother, Vicious Affair, Picture Me Dead, The Assistant and I Hate You to Death.

Now, they’re telling the story of Burt Harris (Oshea Russell), a former college basketball player who is now known as the attractive guy who delivers water to various businesses in a shopping plaza. His wife Kate (Lyrica Anderson) works for a pharmaceutical company that is close to figuring out cancer and also makes ED meds. Their daughter Tiffany (Skylar Dominique) is a high school basketball player good enough to play pro, just like her father before his knee injury.

However, this busy life doesn’t leave much time for love and Burt keeps feeling like his needs aren’t important. When he meets Bella (Zonnique) — he runs into her, literally, with his car — at her sister Melissa’s (Blac Chyna) restaurant he feels an instant connection. He tries to stay away but as Chris Rock said, “A man is only as faithful as his options.”

After flirting about The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, all of Kate’s putting off Burt finally gets to him. He starts visiting her at Dirty Dan’s Sushi, where she gets a job and she keeps making him coffee, even making a Fresh Prince mug for him. He should have left that cup at her house and maybe not visited that night. But she’s pretty much blameless in this. She had no idea that he had a wife and they broke up when she found out. When Kate visits, she probably shouldn’t have talked about how bad her marriage is and she wouldn’t have been — spoiler warning — killed. But that’s what brings Kurt and Kate back together, the fact that he would do so much for her.

There are some moments that don’t add up in this like Burt meeting his old friends to talk about one of their marriages or when he throws out that he knows a cop who is the boss of the two detectives investigating the disappearance of Bella.

There’s also the scene where Tiffany is leaving for the prom and Burt gets mental about it. He’s trying to act like he’s joking to the poor guy but it comes off at best that he’s an overprotective dad and at worst jealous and that he’s in love with his child way more than as a dad. This is never followed up on and feels out of character.

The end shows that this couple will be looking for cops the rest of their lives of they can keep getting away with it. They have gotten closer, somehow, in spite of the infidelity and killing. Is that the message in this? Or are we waiting for the sequel?

You can watch this on Tubi.

Directed by Sean Baker, who wrote the movie with Chris Bergoch, this film was shot with three iPhone 5S smartphones. And from the beginning, I was sure I was going to hate it, as I was having issues with the look and feel and then, not just a few minutes in, I was swept into the world of Sin-Dee Rella (Kitana Kiki Rodriguez, who did not act again after this movie) and Alexandra (Mya Taylor), two trans sex workers out to find Sin-Dee’s pimp and lover Chester (James Ransone) for cheating on her with Dinah (Mickey O’Hagan).

Alexandra has a performance — one she paid for — in an empty bar while their lives also become mixed up with Armenian cab driver Razmik (Karren Karagulian) who has kept his love of prostitutes from his wife Yeva (Louisa Nersisyan) but not this night, Christmas night, when everything all falls apart inside a doughnut store.

Beyond the basic iPhones, the filmmakers used FiLMIC Pro, an app that fixes focus, aperture, and color temperature, as well as captures video clips at higher bit rates. They also had a Moondog Labs anamorphic adapter to shoot widescreen — Baked said, “It would let us shoot the way Sergio Leone would shoot westerns.” — and Tiffen’s Steadicam Smoothee that turns the iPhone into a fake StediCam.

The end of this film, when the two women are sitting inside a laundromat, one cleaning the other and finally gives her her wig to replace her ruined one is so raw. This whole movie is, an intimate exploration of lives lived a day at a time and a family about to be destroyed. The tree lights illuminate a man falling to pieces, which is one thing I wasn’t expecting in a Christmas movie.

In 1926, Randolph (Jeffrey Hurst) catches his wife (Ursula Austin) making love to his best friend (Terry Austin). He kills them, then himself, and remains trapped in the apartment, his spirit unable to move on.

Fifty years later, Abby (also Ursula Austin) moves into the apartment, a place where sex is always happening, mostly between her neighbors Patrick (Robert Kerman, who would go to Italy and make Cannibal Holocaust), his unnamed blonde lover (Nancy Dare) and Lola (Vanessa Del Rio), who is the one who told Abby to move here. There’s also Tess Albertino (Annie Sprinkle).

Abby can’t sleep and magically, sleeping pills show up. She takes them and we see the sky, the wind picks up and Randolph emerges from the wallpaper to make love to her, which we see as Abby being thrown around the bed with no one else there. The problem, well besides the lack of consent in this scene, is that every man who has sex with Abby gets killed from here on our. There’s even a radio thrown into a bathtub which I love to no end. Anny deals with this by wandering through a blizzard before coming home to discover that she has a wedding ring stuck on her hand.

The credits say that this was directed by Luigi Manicottale — when has an American taken on an Italian name, that’s the exact reverse of how this works — but that’s really Doris Wishman. The ghost effects of this movie, the strange snowy park walking scene, the murder after murder without stopping the nonstop lovemaking — this is one strange movie. I have no idea who would be turned on by it and I don’t think Doris cared at all.

Annie Sprinkle recently posted about this movie on Instagram, saying “I was just interviewed for a documentary film about cult filmmaker, Doris Wishman. Amazingly I was in two of her movies almost 50 years ago. Satan Was A Lady and Come With My Love. I had not had a single acting lesson. (Still haven’t. ) I didn’t like acting. I liked the sekx scenes. When I thought about it, Doris was the first woman director I worked with. She was in her 60s and when we shot the dirty bits she would leave the room! The films are partly on YouTube. I was 20 years young and had very bad hair! Most everyone else in the film is dead now. I’m still here! Dori’s would be amazed I’m now still making films and am a Guggenheim Fellow even. Doris is gone but not forgotten.”

The effect of the man emerging from the wallpaper scares me.

You can get this from Vinegar Syndrome.

FBI Agent Harper Winslow (Denyce Lawton) and Detective Carly Lopez (Teresa Castillo) are working together over the holidays to catch an art thief who dresses like Santa, giving this movie its name. Harper has also felt sparks with a man named Chris North (Donnell Turner) who — surprise, it’s a Tubi Original — is also the thief. How does this all work out?

Harper and Carly have to get over their initial distrust of one another and find the art, which leads them to Quinn Carlyle (Kate Watson) and Alex Sykes (Brian Ames). Now, the weird thing is that our FBI protagonist so quickly doesn’t care at all that she’s dating the very same man that she’s been tracking for a year. I guess North is so good looking that you end up forgiving, I guess. Maybe because it’s Christmas?

Director Kristin Fairweather and writers Kathryn Dow and John Forgetta have made a movie that honestly won’t offend anyone and has a little bit of detective procedural mixed with romance and some holiday spirit. They also used plenty of soap opera actors who are quite adept and getting into their roles and being likeable.

You can watch this on Tubi.

You can watch this on Tubi.

I’m trying to put these movies in order before I get into this. The Bigfoot and Illuminati universe would be in this order:

• Bigfoot vs. The Illuminati
• Trump vs. The Illuminati
• Bigfoot vs. Megalodon
• Tickles the Clown
• Bigfoot vs. Krampus
• Van Helsing
• Xterminator and the AI Apocalypse
• Bigfoot Goes to Hell
• Bigfoot vs. Krampus 2

If you’ve been watching these movies, you know that the clone of Van Helsing lives in space with Bigfoot, Dr. Jekyll and Princess Kali. After Bigfoot vs. Megalodon, the Illuminati has been destroyed. Now, another race of aliens, the Atlantians, has called for help as they are being destroyed by a single fighter who ends up being Krampus.

Haven’t seen any of these movies? They’re directed and written by BC Fourteen and look a lot like cut scenes from video games, yet have a very interesting sense of humor and enough dirty words to keep this from being something for young children. They’re around an hour each and the story continues in each movie.

The attack of Krampus brings Aleister Crawley, General Stalin and the Illuminati out of wherever they’ve been hiding and attacking the allied forces. For some reason, Krampus looks like Immortan Joe and you know, the look is an improvement.

I also kind of adore that this movie randomly uses stock footage because you know Bruno Mattei had 5G, he’d have done the same thing.

And then Jack Pumpkinhead — yes, pretty much Jack Skellington — shows up. A Terminator, too. This movie just keeps adding characters and you know, I’m in the mood for all of it and more. This feels like the kind of movie kids really good at editing wrestlers on WWE 2k24 would make. Hell soon has an entire army of monsters and by the end, Krampus and Lucifer have united to destroy what’s left of humanity with only Bigfoot left.

I am left with so many metaphysical questions that I can only hope are answered by the next movie in this series.

You can watch this on Tubi.