Zombie Rampage (1992)

Todd Sheets forever.

Back in 1992, it didn’t seem like zombies would be coming back from their graves. They weren’t mainstream. It was left to gut crunching gore lovers like Sheets to make low budget tributes to the films they loved. This starts with two gangs — Sheets leads one — fighting in the streets of Kansas City, leaving bodies everywhere. Most gangs would regroup and get better guns. One of these ones gets an occult book, conducts a ritual and all hell breaks loose.

As Glenn would sing, “Yea, evil is as evil does.”

Tommy (Dave Byerly) and Dave (Erin Kehr) barely make it to a bar, years before the Winchester served the same purpose, holed up with their girlfriends while the dead are alive outside the doors. Sheets has said for people to turn this movie off, but look, when everyone is drinking in a bar and a stolen song from The Beyond plays, I stick around. I mean, this starts with a fist fight set to a “Spirit In the Sky” cover and once, I had a girl from Lawrence, KS write out all the lyrics to that song and mail it to me as part of our long distance romance. I wondered if that means anything, like if Norman Greenbaum was from Kansas, but no. Sometimes life makes no sense.

More on Sheets hating this, thanks to IMDB: “It took a year and a half because I was held hostage by an insane cameraman (who thought he was in charge and always wanted more money), a local bar owner named Lonzo who was supposed to be funding the film but disappeared and a cast of well meaning local theater students who went away for the holidays and some of them didn’t come back! Some left because they were tired of being held up for 3 or 4 hours by the jerk cameraman every time we were supposed to shoot. I was left with 68% of a once good script and I finished it the only way I knew. It was my first film. It was NOT shot on VHS — but on 3/4 inch video and Betacam like the TV stations of the time used. It was a horrible experience and I almost never made another film.”

Sheets would make better movies, but look, if you come up with a movie indebted to Mattei, Fulci and Romero, I’m going to love it. Every review I read calling this sloppy and amateurish, well, fine. But did it entertain you? Nobody wants to talk about that, they just want to be high and mighty, cooler than the films they talk about.

If you’re wondering, does this seem like a movie that Visual Vengeance would put out? Well, the trailers are on their latest Blu-rays and it comes from Decrepit Crypt of Nightmares, which also has Suburban Sasquatch amongst its fifty movies for one low price. Some would say you’d overpaid, but I’m the kind of viewer to drop big money on this set if I ever find it.

Tales from the Crypt S6 E10: In the Groove (1994)

Gary (Miguel Ferrer) is a disc jockey who gets sent to graveyard shift for bad ratings by the owner of the station, his sister Rita (Wendie Malick). His show Gary’s Drive-Time Desires also chases away advertisers, so she gives him one last chance. Well, more like she wants to keep him under contract and not going anywhere else. He rebounds when he gets a new partner, Valerie Cordoza (Linda Doucett), and renames his show Grover’s Graveyard. Soon, people are staying up late and Gary is having sex on the air.

“Oh hello, kiddies. You’re just in time for your driving lesson. Today we’ll be learning about scare-allel parking and the right way to look behind when hacking up. But first, I thought we’d go over a few common hand signals. This of course, means you’re turning right. And this means you’re turning left. And this means…Oh. Slow down, it’s time to watch Tales From the Crypt. Tonight’s moving violation concerns a disk jockey who’s so cutting edge, he may lose his chap. I call it “In the Groove.””

This being Tales from the Crypt, we know there’s a twist. When Rita keeps messing with the show, she pushes Gary to want to murder her. But what if his latest partner wasn’t on his side?

Directed by Vincent Spano (who mainly is an actor) and written by Jack Temchin and Colman deKay, this is Ferrer’s third appearance on this series (he’s also in “The Thing from the Grave” and “As Ye Sow“) and has a small part for Slash.

“In the Groove” is based on “In the Groove” from Crime SuspenStories #21, which was written by William Gaines and Al Feldstein with art by Johnny Craig. That story is, as nearly always, different. A DJ plans to kill his wife and use his show as his alibi by setting up enough songs that it will appear he is playing records at the time of his wife’s murder. Then, the needle skips and the song keeps repeating, proving that he isn’t there.

DIA GEORGE KENNEDY MEMORIAL DEATH CRUISE!

This Saturday, March 8, we’re setting sail for the great beyond where we will meet the spirit of George Kennedy and drink many Schaefer beers. You can join us at 8 PM EDT on the Groovy Doom Facebook or YouTube channels.

First: Get ready to board Death Ship. It’s on Tubi.

Every show, we watch movies, talk about them, show the ads and have a cocktail. Here’s what we’re serving on this pleasure cruise.

George Kennedy Goes Surfing

  • 2 oz. Jägermeister
  • 2 oz. Malibu
  • 2 oz. pineapple juice
  1. Shake it all up with ice in a cocktail shaker like you’re Captain Ed Hocken beating up a suspect.
  2. Pour in a glass and enjoy.

Ahoy! Now we find a mutant cat and more George Kennedy in Uninvited, which is also on Tubi.

George Kennedy Fights a Cat

  • 1 cup watermelon juice
  • 2 oz. vodka
  • .25 oz. lime juice
  • .25 oz. honey
  1. Imagine that a cat is inside the cocktail shaker. Now, replace that with the ingredients. Be nice to cats! Shake it up with ice.
  2. Serve over ice.

See you Saturday…

B & S About Movies podcast Episode 73: Four Times That Night

We don’t think of Mario Bava as a director of commedia sexy all’italiana, but Four Times That Night is one of the better examples of the genre. Learn how he used his skills to create a movie that really stands out in a genre he didn’t spend much time in.

You can listen to the show on Spotify.

The show is also available on Apple Podcasts, I Heart Radio, Amazon Podcasts, Podchaser and Google Podcasts.

TUBI ORIGINAL: Lights, Camera, Murder: Scream (2022)

Directed by Adam Meyer, this film claims that Scream was based on the real serial killer Danny Rolling, also known as the Gainesville Ripper, who murdered Florida college students Christina P. Powell, Sonya Larson, Christa Leight Hoyt, Tracy Inez Paules and Manuel R. Toboda during a four-day period in 1990. He decapitated one and set the bodies up for people to find much like a slasher villain.

Kevin Williamson, the writer of Wes Craven’s movie,  watched an episode of ABC News’ Turning Point and wrote Woodsboro Murders, which changed its name to the title we know these days.

Rolling may have had multiple personalities, which were the result of abuse from his police officer father. He carried that abuse to his wife and son before getting divorced, being arrested for raping a woman who looked just like his ex-wife and going to jail numerous times for robbery. By the 90s, he’d go on to kill Julie Grissom, her eight-year-old nephew and her 55-year-old father before shooting his own father in the stomach and head. Somehow, his dad lived, but lost an eye.

After killing five women and abusing their bodies in August 1990, he was arrested for robbing a Winn-Dixie. Cops found him in jail, identified by one of his teeth that had been extracted while incarcerated. He pled not guilty and even wrote a book with his future fiancee, journalist Sondra London, titled The Making of a Serial Killer.

By 1994, however, he pled guilty and was executed in 2006, not before singing to the 47 people who came to watch him die. They cut his mic off and then his life.

How much of Williamson and Craven’s film comes from this? It was more an inspiration. But hey — we have a Tubi Original about it, so you can watch that.

You can watch this on Tubi.

TUBI ORIGINAL: On the Run (2024)

Directed by Traci Hayes (Blood, Sweat and Cheers) and written by Sarah Eisenberg and Becky Wangberg (who have primarily worked in cartoons), On the Run is set up years ago when bikers Vince (William Mark McCullough) and Rick (K.C. Clyde) end their friendship over a drug deal. Vince goes to jail and the moment he gets out, he comes after Rick, who has a new life with his wife Laurie (Kara Luiz) and daughters Kayla (Sofia Masson) and Paige (Taylor Geare). It’s no spoiler to tell you that Paige is Vince’s daughter and wants her back as much as he wants everyone dead.

Rick and the girls are on the run—yes, Mom dies, there’s another spoiler—but there’s also the woman they think is their aunt, Steph (Pamela Rose Rodriguez), who is the witness protection agent who has been protecting them for years.

One daughter is the good girl, the other is kind of bad, their dad used to be a criminal biker, and their mom is dead. There’s everything you want in a young girl on the run movie. It’s not life-changing, but like most Tubi Originals, it’s a competent film other than, you know, cops never acting like cops really act, such as calling for backup, not taking innocent people into dangerous situations and not indiscriminately shooting everyone around them.

You can watch this on Tubi.

TUBI ORIGINAL: Wrong Place, Wrong Time (2025)

Chris Stokes makes a Tubi movie every month, but this time, they’re stretching their wings and going from romantic thrillers to a spy epic. In it, Kasey (Samantha A. Smith) goes from being a bad girl acting out after her dad dies to being part of a home invasion and being pulled into a conspiracy, getting arrested and going on the run from government agents along with her mother Latisha (Apryl Jones).

Luckily, her mother knows Victoria (Lateria Hope), who turns out to be even more connected to this conspiracy. She has a secret device that can start and steal any car, for example, and she just may be able to get this family out of this alive. I can’t tell you how surprised I was by this one, which yes, has a scene where a man makes a big deal out of making hot chocolate, but also is about government conspiracies, secret agent killing machines and a mother and daughter trying to deal with grief.

Shout out to Stokes for switching up how he films things and getting a ton out of his budget, making this look completely different from anything I’ve seen. This also seems to set up a sequel and as always, I’m here for it. I’m also trying to manifest my dream of a Stokes Cinematic Universe crossover between his series. Come on, Footage Films and Tubi.

You can watch this on Tubi.

CLEOPATRA ENTERTAINMENT BLU RAY RELEASE: Cocaine Werewolf (2024)

How do you know this is from Cleoptra Records? The soundtrack has The 69 Cats, Front Line Assembly, Pink Fairies, Switchblade Symphony, Hawkestrel, Synaesthesia, The Brains, Mike Pinera and Hollywood After Dark on it.

Directed by Mark Polonia and written by Ford Austin and Tyger Torrez, this is set in the familiar woods of Pennsylvania where Polonia has made so many movies, but never one where a New York stockbroker named Jack (Brice Kennedy) gets bitten, the moon gets full and he snorts a whole bag of coke. Actually, the moon doesn’t even matter. It just takes cocaine to make this beast go feral.

There’s also a movie getting made in those woods about an evil clown, but mostly, the actresses (Jamie Morgan and Greta Volkova) are making out with each other. This bit of exploitation follows a girl in a Little Red Riding Hood outfit shooting content for her adult site who gets torn up by the original werewolf. This leads to Jack’s Uber driver getting killed, and we have a movie.

I want all Mark Polonia movies to come out on this label from now on, and I want more goth and rockabilly bands to find their songs in microbudget horror movies. I’m used to these films just showing up on Tubi, so seeing them on Blu-ray makes me overjoyed.

You can get this from MVD.

88 FILMS BLU-RAY RELEASE: The Lady Assassin (1983)

Directed and written by Lu Chun-ku (Bastard Swordsman), this is about the power struggle between the Fourth Yung Cheng (Tony Leung) and Fourteenth Princes (Mok Siu-Chung) — as the Kangxi Emperor (Ching Miao) is dying — with the Lady Assassin Lui Si Niang (Leanne Lau) caught between them and bodyguard Teng Tsung (Norman Chui) ready to protect the Fourteenth Prince with his life. He just might, as the Fourth Prince has hired the unstoppable Min Geng-Yiu (Jason Pai Piao) to kill everyone in his path.

Yes, there are some parts about how the rulers treat the Han Chinese, but it also has most of the cast battling a Japanese ninja (the director!) and his army of gold ninjas. After you just read about all that palace intrigue, let me assure you that there are throwing stars, wire fighting, sword battles, a giant throwing star and two people cut in half—all in one scene—one up and down and the other left to right.

The title doesn’t come into play until the movie’s last few minutes, but who cares? Let me reiterate: giant throwing star and gold ninjas.

The 88 Films Blu-ray release of The Lady Assassin comes with a set of 4 collector art cards, an interview with Poon Kin-Kwan, a stills gallery, a trailer and a reversible sleeve featuring original art. You can get it from MVD.

Murder, She Wrote S1 E4: It’s a Dog’s Life (1984)

Jessica can’t even go to a polo match without family in-fighting and murder, as Denton Langley falls off his horse and dies. His dog, Teddy, gets the whole estate. But is the pup a murderer?

Season 1, Episode 4: It’s a Dog’s Life (November 4, 1984)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote

Rich people, trained animals and, as always, murder.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Denton Langley, whose death sets all of this off, is played by Dan O’Herlihy, who has been in everything from Luis Buñuel’s Robinson Crusoe to Imitation of LifeFail Safe and The Tamarind Seed. But for us, he’s best known as “The Old Man” in RoboCop, Grig in The Last Starfighter and Conal Cochran in
Halloween III: Season of the Witch.

Marcus Boswell is played by Dean Jones. Once, I wrote about how much I hated Jones in Disney movies because he’s always in a bad mood. I hate to bring it up now and get more hate mail. He’s also in Antonio Margheriti’s Mr. Superinvisible, which was distributed by K-Tel.

Morgana Cramer is Cathryn Damon, who you may remember from Webster and Soap. She’s also in the 1981 made-for-TV Satanic shocker Midnight Offerings.

Lenore Kasdorf plays Trish Langley. She’s also Rico’s mom in Starship Troopers and appears in Amityville Dollhouse and Missing In Action.

Spencer Langley is Jared Martin, who is in a ton of movies that I love, including Twin SittersAenigmaKarate WarriorThe Sea Serpent and Warriors of the Year 2072. And how could I forget — The Lonely Lady.

The Sheriff is Roger Miller, who sang “Dang Me,” “Do-Wacka-Do,” “Chug-A-Lug,” “Little Green Apples” and, you knew it, “King of the Road.”

Abby Benton Freestone, who is Jessica’s friend in this, is Lynn Redgrave, who was a serious actress and well above most of the movies I like. Except, you know, movies like MidnightThe Happy Hooker and Disco Beaver from Outer Space.

Forrest Tucker is Tom Cassidy, and man, his IMDB is like my heaven: the Klaus Kinski TV movie TimestalkersThe Crawling EyeThe Abominable Snowman, and two guest spots on Flo.

Isiah Potts is Gregory Walcott, who, of course, is Jeff Trent from Plan 9 From Outer Space.

Echo Cramer is actually Cherie Curie! Formerly of The Runaways, she was also in WavelengthParasiteFoxes and Twilight Zone: The Movie.

Small parts include Byron Cherry (who ruined many a child’s 1982-1983 TV season when he was Coy Duke and replaced the Duke boys with his other cousin Vance for 19 episodes), James Hampton (Uncle Howard from the Teen Wolf movies), Sandy Ward (Bette Midler’s dad in The Rose), Robert Cornthwaite (seemingly typecast as a doctor in movies like Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?The Primevals, the original The ThingMant! within MatineeThe War of the Worlds and Time Trackers. This too, because he’s the coroner), Donna Anderson (Count Yorga), Greg Norberg (who produced Hot Shots!) Bernard McDonald and Brian Mozur.

What happens?

Jess’ cousin Abby is the horse trainer for rich guy Denton Langley. He is celebrating his 80th birthday with a fox hunt, which turns into a hunt for something else once he gets a look at Jessica. His family is pretty much the absolute worst, and soon, the fox hunt claims his life when his horse jumps too high and he’s thrown.

“Push, Teddy! Push!” I have screamed this in Lynn Redgrave’s voice so many times. This episode features a trained dog who is the highlight.

Soon, a VHS will reveals that all $3 million of the estate will go to the dog. Jessica wants to leave, but her cousin begs her to stay. Everyone is after Teddy, but all the money goes to an animal charity if he dies. But that night, Trish, the drunken daughter, comes home late and gets out of her car when the gate doesn’t work right. Then, the gate comes crashing down on her head, killing her and Teddy is revealed as the culprit! Could this dog, trained by Abby, be the killer?

Who did it?

Trish killed her father, but when she wouldn’t split the money with Marcus the lawyer, he had her killed and set up Teddy.

Who made it?

Director Seymour Robbie was a busy TV director—he directed 21 episodes of this show, 17 of Remington Steele, 3 of the Father Dowling Mysteries, 3 of Hart to Hart, and the Desi Arnez Jr. movie Marco and C.C. and  Company.

It was written by Mark Giles and Linda Shank, who wrote “Sticks and Stones” in season 2.

A fact…

Forrest Tucker and James Hampton were on F Troop together. This was Tucker’s last role.

Does Jessica get some?

No, but if that guy hadn’t died…

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

No. Trust me, you’ll get sick of it soon.

Was it any good?

This is one of my favorite episodes because of Teddy.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Marcus Boswell: Let me tell you something, Spencer. You are talking about a perfectly normal dog as if he’s possessed! You’ve been seeing too many Stephen King movies.

Got a TV Guide ad?

No, but how about a picture of Teddy?

What’s next?

Jessica goes to Seattle for a lecture and, surprise, someone dies.