Somehow, CBS aired a movie starring Klaus Kinski and William Devane — together at least — on March 10, 1987. Even more amazing, the movie was written by Brian Clemens — yes, the man who created Captain Kronos – Vampire Hunter — and directed by Michael Schultz, the man who made Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, but also has Car Wash, Cooley High, Krush Groove, The Last Dragon and Disorderlies on his resume.

Dude, I love movies.

Based on Ray Brown’s The Tintype, it has Devane’s character losing his wife and son (Danny Pintauro from Who’s the Boss) to a drunk driver. Later, he attends an auction with his friend General Joe Brodsky (John Ratzenberger, yes Cliff Claven was in a movie with Kinski, wrap your brains around that nugget) where they buy some of Joseph Cole’s (yes, Kinski) trunks from a century ago. Devane believes that Cole was a time traveler, a fact backed up by the appearance of Georgia Crawford (Lauren Hutton!), who travels with him to Crossfire, CA to get to the bottom of everything.

At this point, a plot to kill President Grover Cleveland — yes, really — emerges and Forest Tucker, James Avery, Tracy “Bob the Goon” Walter, Tim Russ (Tuvok!) and Terry Funk — again, what is going on with this movie — all appear.

I really think that the real time travel in this movie is me going back in time and making it happen before my bedroom is crushed Donnie Darko-style.