Man, I really will watch anything. Case in point, I have watched nearly every movie that The Barbarian Brothers David and Petter Paul made. The Barbarians? Loved it. D.C Cab? Own the blu ray. Double Trouble? It’s on the site later today.

Identical twins who were gigantic hunks of beef in the days when size meant everything, they somehow got to make a whole bunch of movies that I alone enjoy. I mean, if this comes out on blu ray, I better be doing the commentary along with the surviving Peter Paul. I have so many questions of him.

Peter and David play, well, Peter and David Falcone. They’re also identical twin brother waiters who want to open their own restaurant. They save the life of a man who is going into witness protection, asking him to keep his twin nephews Bradley and Steven (Christian and Joseph Cousins, who played Dominic in Kindergarten Cop) out of trouble. However, those kids are going to destroy our heroes.

Yet stop — this was directed and written by John Paragon, the man who was Jambi the Genie, Pterri the Pterodactyl, the sex shop worker in Eating Raoul, a Walt Disney Imagineer, a creative partner of Elvira who was The Breather on her KHJ-TV series, a Groundling and even the director of ten episodes of Silk Stalkings. So yeah, another obsession.

And yep. Paul Bartel shows up. Of course he does.

George Lazenby too.

I really think this movie was created for me and me alone. So thank you, forces of the universe. You have infinitely upset me as of late, but I will take this gift from you and look to better days.