Grumpier Old Men (1995)

Burgess Meredith’s final film, this is the sequel to Grumpy Old Men, basically taking the relationship between Max (Walter Matthau) and John (Jack Lemmon) to its logical friendly — for a time — level as their kids Melanie (Daryl Hannah) and Jacob (Kevin Pollak) prepare to get married and John and Ariel (Ann-Margret) enjoy their new wedded bliss. But of course, there must be a fight before its all over.

Director Howard Deutch worked with John Hughes often, directing The Great OutdoorsPretty In Pink and Some Kind of Wonderful. He’d work with Lemon and Matthau again for The Odd Couple II yet had much more success with The Replacements, which if you had basic cable, chances are you’ve seen at least once.

Improbably, Matthau’s character somehow wins over a newcomer to town, Maria Ragetti, played by Sophia Loren.

There was nearly another sequel called Grumpiest Old Men, which would be set in Rome and feature Marcello Mastroianni as Maria’s former husband. Sadly, Mastroianni died and so did Lemon and Matthau’s other films, Out to Sea and the aforementioned Odd Couple sequel.

The Accompanist (2019)

Dr. Jason Holden is in his early 50s with a family reeling from a tragic automobile accident that has placed his daughter in a wheelchair. Meanwhile, he is going through his old dark night of the soul, as a new job as a piano accompanist at a local ballet studio leads to him coming out and falling in love with Brandon a troubled young dancer.

Frederick Keeve is the auteur behind this, as the writer, director and star. This film is the result of a shorter version of the movie that he made in 2018.

He also is making The Accompanist Awakening, which will feature the newly engaged lovers as they return to Los Angeles after two years in New York City.

While this is a world I’ve never lived in, I could really feel the emotion in every scene. If this sounds like a story you’d be interested in, you should check it out when it is released digitally on Tuesday, June 2.

DISCLAIMER: This film was sent to us by its PR agency,.

The Witch Behind the Door (2015)

Also known as Janara, this Italian film is all about the mysterious disappearances of the children of San Lupo, in the province of Benevento in Italy. Some of the people believe that it has to be a pedophile, while others blame a legendary witch.

The folklore and stories of the witches of Benevento date back to the 13th century, with the main belief being that this town is where the witches of Italy choose to gather. Even the town’s football club, the Benevento Calcio, have a logo of a witch on a broomstick.

Marta and Allessandro have come to collect Marta’s inheritence, but are not prepared for what they will find in the village, which is populated by plenty of strange folk who have no interest in outsiders. If this movie was shot in the U.S., I would have been bored, but I tend to forgive Italian film everything.

You can watch this on Amazon Prime. You can also buy it at Diabolik DVD.

DISCLAIMER: We were sent this DVD by Wild Eye Releasing.

Last Resort (1986)

Zane Busby started her career as an editor for Jodorowsky’s The Holy Mountain and acted in Up In Smoke before directed this movie for Julie Corman. This is one of those movies that has a surprising cast, beyond Charles Grodin in the lead (also in King Kong ’76 and So, I Married and Axe Murderer). There’s Megan Mullaly (TV’s Will and Grace) Gerrit Graham (Phantom of the Paradise), Jon Lovitz (Almost Sharkproof), Phil Hartman (Cheech and Chongs Next Movie) and Mario Van Peebles (A Clear Shot) all making appearances.

George Lollar (Grodin) takes his family on vacation to Club Sand, where everyone else is having sex while he has his kids in tow. There’s also a revolution happening, a staff that could care less about hospitality and Charles Grodin being, well, Charles Grodin.

It’s also the only woke movie I’ve seen in these 80’s comedies where the other f word gets someone in trouble. About time — I knew things were intolerant back then, but it’s nice to see that some people were also willing to tell people to back off.

Man, not to pile on the Grodin downers, but this movie is the kind of film that posits the question, “Can Charles Grodin be the Chevy Chase that people love or the Chevy Chase that people hate?” Remember that Casio keyboard that Chevy would randomly play on his abortive talk show? I’m shocked Grodin wasn’t lugging it around. There’s your answer.

You can watch this on Amazon Prime and Tubi.

Charles Sidney Grodin
April 21, 1935 – May 18, 2021
“I started in movies in 1963,
and the first big one was Rosemary’s Baby in 1967.
While you don’t notice it right away, it finally dawns on you that 80% of the time, you’re doing nothing.”

Witch Academy (1995)

Did you watch Evil Toons and say, “I want a movie somehow even worse than this without Madison Stone to make up for the abject boredom that I felt while watching it?”

Good news! Or, well, horrible news.

Mark Thomas McGee, who wrote Equinox, wrote this for director Fred Olen Rey. It has Ruth Collins — yes, Bubbles from Firehouse and Tina from Doom Asylum — in it, as well as Veronica Carothers (who played two different roles in Vice Academy 3 and 4), scream queen Michelle Bauer and Priscilla Barnes, who was once Felix Leiter’s dead wife in Licence to Kill. You may know her from getting killed in Rob Zombie’s The Devil’s Rejects. Or maybe you remember her more fondly — and more alive — as Nurse Terri who replaced Suzanne Sommers on Three’s Company.  And oh hell, let’s thrown in Suzanna Agar (Shock ‘Em DeadEvil Toons).

Playing Satan? Robert Vaughn who, as we all know, deserves better. So did Gary Graver, who shot this a decade after Orson Welles died and so did his dream of making a completed movie with him.

If you want to watch women paddle one another and somehow see what should be something every red blooded American boy — and hey girls too, the world is robust and filled with all manner of people and we love them all — should adore rendered into sheer boredom, then by all means, seek out this fecund steaming pile of trash.

 

The Uranium Conspiracy (1978)

You know how I always say that these Eurospy movies are like the UN? How about this one, which is an Israeli/German/Italian movie co-directed by Gianfranco Baldanello (Danger!! Death Ray) and one of my favorite insane people, Menahem Golan — the man who would soon enough direct the magnum opus The Apple.

Who would star, some would wonder? Fabio Testi from One Damned Day at Dawn… Django Meets Sartana! and Fulci’s The Four of the Apocalypse and Contraband. Oh yes.

The love interest? Janet Agren from City of the Living Dead! Oh man!

That’s most of the excitement of the film, which promises a Bond-like experience from its poster and description and does not deliver.

You can watch this on Amazon Prime or YouTube:

 

 

 

The Second Best Secret Agent in the Whole Wide World (1965)

If I’ve done one thing this Eurospy month, I’ve watched a ton of Lindsay Shonteff movies. This was his first spy film, although he’d eventually also make No. 1 of the Secret Service, Licensed to Love and Kill (1979) and Number One Gun.

This was called Licensed to Kill in the UK, but Joseph E. Levine was bringing it to the U.S. He’d had great financial success with teh Steve Reeves-starring Hercules and went all out on this one. There’s a new scene at the beginning with a woman pulling a machine gun out of her baby carriage and a new theme song sung by Sammy Davis Jr. Of course, he also took out all teh doubel entendres and enough of the plot to have the ending make no sense.

A Swedish scientist has invented an anti-gravity device and his daughter seek to provide the invention to the United Kingdom, if they can get there safely. With James Bond unavailable, Agent Charles Vine (Tom Adams) comes in.

Veronica Hurst (Peeping Tom) and Judy Huxtable (Die Screaming, Marianne) fill in for the normal Bond girls.

There were two sequels to this film: Where the Bullets Fly and Somebody’s Stolen Our Russian Spy/O.K. Yevtushenko, which was shot in 1969 but didn’t escape the film laboratory until 1976.

This isn’t the best Bond ripoff or the second-best, but it’s not all bad. You can watch the whole movie here:

Kriminal (1966) and Il marchio di Kriminal (1967)

Roel Bos, using the stage name Glenn Saxson, appeared in this movie and its sequel, as well as a few spaghetti westerns in his career before becoming a producer.

This is based on the fumetti neri Kriminal, which has a hero of sorts that has no issue murdering people and then sleeping with women before killing them to keep his identity a secret. Director Umberto Lenzi wanted to make a comic film, with the goals of making Satanik or Danger: Diabolik, but ended up making this.

Kriminal is much less ruthless in this film, which is more a fun spy film. Andrea Bosic (the optician from Fulci’s Manhattan Baby) is Inspector Milton, who follows our antihero around. Horror actress — and spy film too — par excellence Helga Line shows up too. I’ve mentioned her in so many Eurospy reviews, but you can also find her in Horror ExpressNightmare Castle and The Vampires Night Orgy.

The best part of this movie are the animated open and close titles, which lend a really interesting look.

Lenzi, Saxson and Line would return a year later for Il marchio di Kriminal, a sequel that becomes more of a travelogue spy adventure, as many late 60’s films become.

Instead of diamond robberies as in the first film, the sequel finds Kriminal looking for missing paintings, with the map hidden inside four statues of Buddha.

I’m fascinated by this era of Italian comic book movies, so I loved these perhaps a bit more than the ordinary film watcher. You should check them out for yourself.

Stoney (1969)

Also known as The Surabaya Conspiracy, Stoney stars Barbara Bouchet as Irene Stone, who has a plan to recover treasure hidden in a vault under a rich man’s swimming pool.

Director Wray Davis’ only film, this movie makes little to no sense. Seriously, I’m someone who can make it through nearly any foreign post-apocalyptic or slasher film and even I had issues with this one.

Michael Preston (Road Warrior) is in this, as is Michael Rennie (Klaatu from The Day the Earth Stood Still), Richard Jaeckel and Vic Diaz (Beyond AtlantisThe Big Bird Cage and so many other Filipino movies).

I really wanted to like this more than I did. But there we have it — even a movie with Barbara Bouchet running around nearly nude can be boring.

You can watch the whole thing on YouTube:

Virus of the Dead (2018)

Yes, that’s what we need right now. A movie about a virus that is destroying the entire world! Virus of the Dead is a zombie horror anthology that uses found footage style action to tell about what happens after a zombie virus goes through America.

If you’re ready to, well, forget about being quarantined and watch a movie about it, then…I guess this is the movie for you.

There are plenty of different talents working on this, including James Cullen Bressack (If Looks Could Kill), Shane Ryan (Samurai Cop 2), Timo Rose (Game Over), Jarrett Furst (Verotika) and Return of the Living Dead 3 scripter John Penney. It was put together by producer Tony Newton (VHS Lives, Grindsploitation).

The majority of the stories are held together by the fact that people just can’t put their phones or get off social media, even when the world is ending all around them. I’m sure you can relate.

You can learn more at the official Facebook page and website for the film.

Want. to buy Virus of the Dead? It’s available here.

DISCLAIMER: This movie was sent to us by Wild Eye.