GREGORY DARK WEEK: Street Justice (1990)

Good Lord, this movie.

Wings Hauser is a typically out of his mind Wings Hauser, playing Sergeant Arliss Ryder, who is transformed into a cyborg killed machine and joins Captain Bill Quinton’s (Alex Cord,  AirwolfChosen Survivors) Strike S.Q.U.A.D. (Scum Quelling Assault Urban Division), a special team of cops who have all been implanted with similar technology that makes them immoral criminal killing machines that also want to have sex with anything and everything — all created by candidate for mayor and secret BDSM* fan Jim Miller (played by one-time Watergate burglar and jail rat eater G. Gordon Liddy).

I mean, I’m already in. Can it get better?

You better believe it.

Sy Richardson (Repo Man) plays Sgt. Joker, a constantly laughing cop who must molest every criminal, while Brion James is Reverend Mony, a street preacher who screams about the evils of sex and roasts a pimp alive as part of a sermon. Cops jerk off their guns when they’re not murdering perps and all is well in this insane slice of Gregory Dark-directed madness.

I can’t believe this movie exists and I am beyond happy that I have watched it.

You can watch this on YouTube.

*The two worlds of late night cable softcore cross over as the dom is played by Roberta Vasquez, who was Pantera in Andy Sidaris’ Picasso Trigger, as well as his films Guns, Do or Die, Hard Hunted and Fit to Kill. A former California state trooper, she was also the Playboy November 1984 Playmate of the Month. This proves that the worlds of light and shadow can come together to make, well, soft focus lovemaking.

GREGORY DARK WEEK: Object of Obsession (1994)

Back in the days of landlines, wrong numbers could just happen. Yes, we once couldn’t look and see where a call was coming from. And in Object of Obsession, one of those calls is answered by Margaret (Erika Anderson, A Nightmare of Elm Street 5: The Dream Child). Soon, she’s having an affair with a stranger that starts sexy and ends in kidnapping, but Margaret is by no means helpless. And oh man — Scott Valentine from Family Ties is in this.

But unlike the other Gregory Dark erotic thrillers — referenced when Margaret watches Secret Games 2 — she’s not the untouchable airbrushed sexual creature so often striding through his other movies. Instead, she’s quite close to a normal woman and when she does get to express herself sexually, it isn’t through the normal fog world of dreams that Dark usually shows.

There’s not even any saxophone!

This is as close as a Dark softcore movie will get to being a true independent art movie and the results are, well, pretty great. Just when you think he’s settled in, the man changes it all on you.

GREGORY DARK WEEK: Animal Instincts 2 (1994)

Joanne Fleming (Shannon Whirry) likes to be watched.

Her neighbor Steve (Woody Brown) likes to watch and has put cameras in every room of her apartment.

But when she falls for Eric (Al Sapienza) instead of him, well, things may not go so well.

You have to love a movie that’s made for people who want to watch that looks at the bad side of voyeurism. Kind of like when Gregory Dark made adult films, he made things that were as violently non-sexy as possible, like men in white hoods having sex with a black woman and fish slapping people as a continually returning metaphor. He’s the man that ended New Waves Hookers 2 with a bomb inside Madison Stone’s ass killing her and the hero. He’s not going to make something normal just because he’s making something mainstream. Also, consider that that something mainstream entails movies that are steamy, foggy, neon-lit and filled with sex.

Dark is in the X-Rated Critics Organization Hall of Fame, while cinematographer Wally Pfister and editor Bob Murawski, who worked on this movie, would respectively win Oscars for Inception and The Hurt Locker.

GREGORY DARK WEEK: See No Evil (2006)

When Dan Madigan was a writer for WWE, he pitched a character that would have Jon Heidenreich become a thawed Nazi named Baron Von Bava, revived by the Jewish Paul Heyman, whose mother survived the Holocaust, complete with goosestepping and armband like a 1950s heel.

Somehow, he didn’t make it in wrestling. He did, however, write this movie.

Originally called Eye Scream Man, The Goodnight Man and Goodnight, this stars WWE wrestler — and current mayor of Knox City, TN — Kane as Jacob Goodnight. It also made $45 million on an $8 million dollar budget.

Years ago, Officer Frank Williams barely survived facing off with a killing machine in an abandoned house, losing his arm while his partner is killed and seven victims lose their eyes to a killer that somehow survived being shot in the head.

Now, he’s a social worker that’s part of the team that’s helping twentysomething teenagers work off their community service by cleaning up the abandoned Blackwell Hotel so that it can become a homeless shelter.

It’s all a trap as Jacob Goodnight is there to destroy anyone that intrudes on his turf, usually by using hooks and taking their eyeballs, unless they have religious tattoos. It’s a dark and dirty-looking 2000s slasher, but Dark’s talent as a director makes it better than it should be, which is the story of every movie he made.

Producer Vince McMahon supposedly had one suggestion: give Kane a three-foot cock.

EXPLORING: The music videos of Gregory Dark

As we’ve spent an entire week covering the mainstream films of Gregory Hippolyte Brown, also known as Gregory Dark, there’s an entire other list of directing duties that he worked on that you’ve seen but may have not recognized.

Yes, we understand that he had quite the career in adult, but starting in 1996, Dark started directing music videos — back when that was a thing and MTV played them — and achieved plenty of success.  The idea that the man who made Let Me Tell Ya ‘Bout White Chicks was making preteen friendly videos was a big story to magazines like Esquire, who published the Tom Junod article “The Devil in Greg Dark,” which starts with this: “He was a pornographer. Maybe the worst pornographer. Now, through Britney and Mandy, he’s teaching our teenage daughters about budding desire.” and perpetuates Dark’s legend by saying that the director “…might be the devil.”

It also explains why so many bands hired him.

“There’s a whole generation of kids who learned about sex from my fucked-up movies. A lot of gangster rappers and guys in heavy-metal bands still come up to me and say, “Gregory Dark, I had my first sexual experience watching New Wave Hookers!””

Click on any of the song titles to see these videos.

The Melvins “Bar-X the Rocking M“: The first video that Dark sort of fell into, this definitely has the feel of the adult work that he was making in 1996, but was the start of his video career. Adult actress Roxanne Hall, who told Dark in the adult film Snake Pit that ”  like knives, I like to be cut, I like to be choked. I like weird sex. I like it rough and I know one of these days I’ll end up dying with a smile on my face,” appears in this video. You can learn more about the video in this incredibly well-written Diabolique article.

Sublime “Wrong Way” and “Doing Time“: Sublime lead singer Bradley Nowell died of a heroin overdose on May 25, 1996 the day after their last live show and two months before their third album would become a success. With no band to actually perform the songs, MTV put both of these Dark-directed videos into heavy rotation. Doppelganger cameraman Vance Burberry was the cinematographer for “Wrong Way,” while Kim Haun, the cinematographer on “Doin’ Time,” was the cameraman on Malibu HighThe makeup on “Wrong Way” was by former adult actress Kelly Nichols.

Cherry Poppin’ Daddies “Zoot Suit Riot“: Co-directed with Bob Murawski, the Academy Award-winning editor of The Hurt Locker, this was the second video for this song, as the first “wasn’t up to MTV standards.” It won the band a nomination for Best New Artist in a Video at the 1998 MTV Video Music Awards. This was shot by Julian Whatley, who ran camera on se7en.

Onyx Feat. DMX “Shut ‘Em Down“: Mike McPadden said of Dark, “At the time we started Animal Instincts III, Greg was heavily into hip-hop music and had expanded his intense martial arts regimen to include knife fighting. So his ONLY instructions to me were: “Make sure the movie has hip hop music and knife fighting.”” That’s because at this point in his career, Dark was making several videos for Ice Cube (“We Be Clubbin’ (Remix),” “Fuck Dying” and “Pushin’ Weight“), Outkast (“Rosa Parks” and “Da Art of Storytellin’ (Pt. 1)“), Bone Thugs-N-Harmony (“Ghetto Cowboy“), Kurupt (“Behind the Walls“), Smilez & Southstar (“Who Wants This” and “Tell Me“), Snoop Dogg (“Undercover Funk“), Busta Rhymes (“Shorty (Put It on the Floor)“), Bizzy Bone (“Nobody Can Stop Me“), Goodie Mob (“Black Ice“), Inspectah Deck (“Word on the Streets“), Game Related (“Soak Game“), Delinquent Habits (“Here Come the Horns“), Tha Alkaholics (“All Night”), Krazyie Bone (“Thug Mentality“), 1 Life 2 Live (“Can’t Nobody”), Sole (“4,5,6“), Tyrese (“Criminal Mind“), Res (“They Say Vision“), David Banner (“Cadillacs on 22s,” “Crank It Up” and “Ain’t Got Nothing“) and Xzbit (“What U See Is What U Get“), a video that Dark said got him most of his work.

Orgy “Blue Monday“: At the time of this cover song’s release, more people probably knew the Orgy version than the original New Order version.

Mandy Moore “Walk Me Home” and “So Real“: The dichotomy of the man who directed Traci Lords as a preteen — unknown to Dark — and the preteens who shaped the buying and romantic identity of other preteens is fascinating, particularly when you consider that Dark’s father was an occult-interested anthropologist and his main father figure was a psyops military analyst (from Dark’s interview with The Rialto Report).

Dark would also work on teen-friendly videos for Britney Spears (“From the Bottom of My Broken Heart“), LFO (“I Don’t Want to Kiss You Goodnight“, “Girl On TV“), 2gether (“The Hardest Part of Breaking Up“),  Krystal Harris (“Supergirl“), Leslie Carter (“Like Wow“), No Authority (“Can I Get Your Number“), R Angels (“I Need to Know“), Hoku (“How Do I Feel“), Take 5 (“Shake It Off“), Lennon (“Brake of Your Car“) and A*Teens (“Can’t Help Falling In Love“), which is astounding because it’s a Disney video.

Vitamin C “Graduation“: Dark discussed this video on The Rialto Report, saying that while he didn’t like the song, he recognized the challenge of showing the changes in a woman’s life in a short video and that’s why he enjoyed the results. As Colleen Fitzpatrick, Vitamin C would appear in several movies, including Dracula 2000.

Linkin Park “One Step Closer“: Another big song in its era, this video had tons of airplay. Dark also directed videos for rock bands The Cult (“Rise“), The Calling (“Wherever Will You Go“), Adema (“The Way You Like It“), Breaking Benjamin (“Polyamorous“), The Verve Pipe (“Hero“), Staind (“Mudshovel“), The Counting Crows (“Hanginaround“), Snake River Conspiracy (“How Soon Is Now“), Disturbed (“Voices“), Everlast (“I Can’t Move“), Crazy Town (“Revolving Door“), Stroke 9 (“Kick Some Ass“), Flaw (“Payback“), Drowning Pool (“Sinner“), Switched (“Inside“), 12 Stones (“The Way I Feel“), Stone Sour (“Bother“, “Inhale“), Theory of a Deadman (“Make Up Your Mind“), Franky Perez (“Something Crazy“) and The Shins (“Past and Pending“), which he co-directed with Matt McCormick.

You can also see this YouTube playlist of Dark’s music videos.

GREGORY DARK WEEK: Secret Games 2: The Escort (1993)

There’s no spark between college professor Heather and Kyle (Martin Hewitt) any more. He was once an art critic and now he’s a performance artist, which she finds pretty stupid. Once she leaves him, he just calls over Stacey to dominate him but she can’t love him. Irene loves him too, but he’s infatuated with Stacey, so…

He’s also videotaping his life and keeps talking directly to the camera.

So is sex just as cold and calculating as Kyle’s art? Was Dark sick and tired of not just sex — he’d come back to adult to make sequels to New Wave Hookers, Between the Cheeks and The Devil in Miss Jones 5: The Inferno before making videos for Sublime, Onyx and, in a fact that still blows my mind, Mandy Moore, Britney Spears and A*Teens — so maybe if he’s tired of sex, we should all watch and learn.

Evil at the Door (2022)

For almost a hundred years, The Locusts have treated their followers to one night — three hours — where they can do anything they want to a selected home and any of the people they find inside. The Locusts have selected the home of Daniel (Matt O’Neill, Candy Corn) and Jessica (Sunny Doench, Coffin). Complicating matters is that there may be a Locust who isn’t on the same side as everyone else, plus Jessica’s sister Liz (Andrea Sweeney Blanco) is hiding under the bed trying to escape.

Like a combination of The Strangers and The Purge, the film begins with John Doe (Bruce Davison, who has nearly 300 credits, but may be best known for being in X-Men as Senator Kelly; you may also recognize him from The Lords of Salem or The Crucible) invites the cult’s member to initiate the Night of the Locusts.

A family that barely gets along being surrounded by four cult members who can get away with anything that happens. Great set-up, right? Yes, it is. The execution — CGI stabbings instead of practical effects and costumes that look like the Wish version of Ghost from Call of Duty — take away the good will that the opening created.

Fans of TV’s Dynasty and The Colbys will, at least, be happy to see John James (Jeff Colby!) show up. His next movie is My Son Hunter, playing President Biden. It’s directed by Robert Davi and stars Gino Carano so…

Director, writer, producer, editor and one of the actors — he’s Truman — Kipp Tribble did more than just two or three things on this movie. I wish that he could have followed up on pieces he set in motion. That said, he’s figured out how to pull this movie together with a small crew and a low budget.

Evil at the Door can be found on digital and VOD platforms on January 28, one week after it debuts on the Terror Films Channel. You can learn more on the official Terror Films website or visit this movie’s official Facebook page.

Mill Creek Through the Decades: 1960s Collection recap

Over the last few days, we’ve been checking out Mill Creek’s Through the Decades: 1960s Collection: As you know, Mill Creek collections are where it’s at. You can see some info on this set on their site here or order it from Deep Discount.

This collection of 1960s Columbia movies is pretty fun. You can click on any of the titles of these films to see our full review:

Who Was That Lady? (1960) – Ill-advised by a pal, a chemistry professor falsely claims he is an undercover FBI agent in order to cover-up his marital infidelity but his lie, although swallowed by his wife, gets him in trouble with the real FBI, the CIA and the KGB.

The Notorious Landlady (1962) – An American junior diplomat in London rents a house from, and falls in love with, a woman suspected of murder.

Under the Yum Yum Tree (1963) – A love-struck landlord tries to convince a pretty tenant to dump her fiancé and give him a chance.

Good Neighbor Sam (1964) – To help his divorced neighbor claim a substantial inheritance, a family man poses as her husband. The ruse spills over into his career in advertising, and his recent promotion relies on his wholesome and moral appearance.

Lilith (1964) – A war veteran gets work at a mental institution where he meets the beautiful, but eccentric, Lilith.

Baby the Rain Must Fall (1965) – In Texas, a woman and her young daughter head down to another town where the girl’s irresponsible, hotheaded and immature father has just been released from prison on parole.

Genghis Khan (1965) – During the thirteenth century, the shy Mongol boy Temujin becomes the fearless leader Genghis Khan, who unites all Mongol tribes and conquers most of Asia, Europe, and the Middle East.

Mickey One (1965) – After the mob tries to kill him for an unknown reason, a comedian steals the identity of a homeless man and goes on the run.

The Chase (1966) – The escape of Bubber Reeves from prison affects the inhabitants of a small Southern town.

Luv (1967) – About to nervously jump off a bridge, scrawny Harry Berlin is a barely functional human being. Just as he attempts to leap off the bridge, he is distracted by Milt Manville, an old friend from fifteen years ago.

How To Save A Marriage (And Ruin Your Life) (1968) – When a carefree bachelor tries to get his best friend to drop his mistress and return to his wife, he finds himself with romantic problems as well.

Hook, Line & Sinker (1968) – A man is told by his doctor, and best friend, that he has a terminal illness. At his wife’s urging, he lives life to the fullest, racking up insurmountable debts. When the damage is done, his friend the doctor tells him that he’s not dying.

MOVE OVER ZILLOW — THE SCARIEST REAL ESTATE IN ON THE DRIVE-IN ASYLUM DOUBLE FEATURE!

Bill and I are back this Saturday at 8 PM EST on the Groovy Doom Facebook and YouTube pages. This week — you can win DVDs from my collection! Every week, we watch two movies, discuss them with you, share drink recipes, view an ad gallery and have our infamous third segment where anything can happen.

Up first is the Michae Pataki-directed Mansion of the Doomed! You can watch it on Tubi.

Check out this recipe to enjoy with the movie!

Doomed

  • 1.5 oz. Midori
  • .5 oz. whiskey
  • .5 oz. vodka
  • Club soda
  1. Shake the first three ingredients with alcohol, then pour over crushed ice.
  2. Top with club soda.

Our second movie is one that Becca requested, Dolls!

Here’s the drink that will make that movie much easier to swallow!

Southern Doll 

  • 1.5 oz. whiskey
  • Sweet tea (to taste)
  • Lemon slices
  • Frozen grapes
  1. Slice the lemons and place in your glass, then top with ice and frozen grapes (to take the place of all the eyes that get ripped out in this one).
  2. Top with sweet tea to taste.

See you at the movies.

What’s on Shudder: February 2022

February isn’t the longest month, but Shudder is bringing maybe one of their best lineups ever. Check it out!

February 1

Tales from the Hood and Tales from the Hood 2: Rusty Cundieff and Darin Scott created one of the best horror anthologies ever and have followed it up with several sequels. While the second one is a mixed bag, the first one is unstoppable brilliance.

Tales from the Crypt: Demon Night and Tales from the Crypt: Bordello of Blood: Speaking of one film being way better than the other, Demon Night is a great blast of 90s horror. Bordello? Yeah, not so much.

The Boris Karloff Collection: Now this is why we pay for Shudder! All month long, check out the new documentary Boris Karloff: The Man Behind the Monster, The Black Cat, Frankenstein, Bride of Frankenstein, House of Frankenstein, The Mummy, Son of Frankenstein, The Old Dark House and Black Sabbath.

Cherry Falls: In the wake of the 90 slasher comeback, this movie has always felt forgotten. It’s exciting to see that it’s going to be on Shudder.

Queen of the Damned: Lestat plays rock ‘n roll in a movie based on the book that your mom definitely bought.

Roh: In this Malaysian movie, a family finds a girl covered in clay who soon leads the spirit world to their real world.

February 2

Blood Glacier: A leaking glacier? Man, do we need things to get any worse?

The Last Winter: More eco-terror, as drilling leads to the kind of worldwide damage that they make movies like this about. Meta, huh?

February 3

Slapface: A boy hides in the woods before he finds something else that may be unfriendly to everyone but him in this Shudder exclusive.

February 7

Rock, Paper, Scissors: A strange ride that finds two siblings lost in their own world being confronted by their half-sister and a major change in their lives.

Entwined: A doctor comes to a small village and falls in love with a local girl, but things are never what they seem, right?

Fragile: A nurse at a childrens’ hospital struggles to keep her patients safe.

February 8

I Blame Society: A filmmaker attempts to finish her film, no matter who has to be hurt.

February 10

All the Moons: A young girl caught in the middle of the horror of war is rescued by either a vampire or an angel in a Shudder exclusive.

February 11

Joe Bob’s Heartbreak Trailer Park: Two movies, four guests, lots of broken hearts as Joe Bob Briggs and Darcy are back for a Shudder special.

February 14

Knocking: We saw this at Fantastic Fest and it’s a tense and trapped tale of one woman facing a frightening place to live or finally going insane.

Corporate Animals: Demi Moore plays the CEO that takes her team on a dangerous retreat.

I Am A Ghost: Stuck in the same house, Emily gets a clairvoyant therapist.

Silent Retreat: After the movies on this day, will anyone want to go anywhere to work on themselves and their career?

Spring: I’ve always wanted to see this — a man falls in love with a woman who may not identify as a human being.

Eat Brains Love: You can’t get a wood sign for this movie at Hobby Lobby.

February 17

They Live In the Gray: A social worker must use her psychic powers to save an at-risk family in this Shudder exclusive.

February 21

Dawn of the Beast: Graduate students try to find Bigfoot. Bad idea.

Dogs: The grandson of a mob boss learns that the don and his men won’t let their property go, even after death.

Detention: School goes very, very wrong after a student wakes up at her desk and learns that she’s trapped in a nightmare.

February 24

Hellbender: We saw this Shudder exclusive at Fantastic Fest and it’s a wild ride about mother and daughter witches who are also a heavy metal band in the woods. It gets way stranger than that description…

Plus, A Discovery of Witches season 3 ends February 19.

What are you excited about in February on Shudder?