Editor’s Note: This is a repost of a review that ran as part of our Mill Creek’s “Drive-In Classics” month that ran on November 24.

Look. It’s a foregone conclusion we’re watching a Jun Gallardo — who is doing his thing as Jim Goldman this time around — Philippines pastiche of a Stallone and Arnie joint. The fact that it stars an ex-TV Captain America and Gene Simmons’s ex-Playmate mate is icing on the Siopao.

As usual, well, not always: sometimes we are in Vietnam in these movies. This time we are in the Philippine-doubling jungles of Central America where a U.S. military advisor becomes disillusioned by the brutality and corruption of the Central American government which hired him to straighten out the usual sociopolitical gambit. So Reb Brown, aka Mark Hardin, switches sides. When the government learns he sympathizes with the rebels: he’s jailed and tortured. With the help of an imprisoned hot blonde (cue Ms. Tweed), they break out and kick ass . . . and in Shannon’s case: bitch, screech and whine in a torture worse than any corrupt central American government can diabolically deploy.

On the plus side: we are in a real and not plastic jungle. And there’s real military equipment. And real helicopters. But knowing our Philippine war flicks like we do: we know it’s all cut in from another film and probably one of Godfrey Ho’s, Teddy Page’s, or Cirio H. Santiago’s, let alone one of Mr. Goldman’s own films.

The DVDs of this are easily found in the bins at your local “everything is a dollar” emporium. The reality is that much was spent on the film: one dollar . . . with bad everything across all of the film disciplines. But Reb Brown (Yor Hunter from the Future) was washed up (in Hollywood, not in our analog-beating hearts) and the Italians weren’t calling . . . and thank god Shannon had Gene’s KISS spoils to live a decent life. Yeah, Shannon, “We’ve had enough of this sh*t,” too. But there’s always Reb tearin’ it up in Robowar.

It’s all part of Mill Creek’s “Drive-In Classic” that’s also available on You Tube.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

Gordon Mitchell: I thought I knew ye. Why are you here? Well, I know you did 2+5 Mission Hydra (1966), but a Rambo rip? Were times that tough?

Born Charles Allen Pendleton in Denver, Colorado, Gordon “The Bronze Giant” Mitchell became the requisite Italian-peplum actor by way of his bit parts in The Ten Commandments (1956) and Spartacus (1960). Then Steve Reeves made bank with Hercules (1958), and beefcakes like Pendleton — regardless of their lack in speaking Italian — headed off into the Neapolitan sunset, with films such as Atlas Against the Cyclops and The Giant of Metropolis (both 1961), Vulcan, Son of Jupiter and Caesar Against the Pirates (both 1962), and a bundle of spaghetti westerns, such as Three Graves for a Winchester (1966), along with Poliziotteschis and Giallos. Did he do Nazisploitation? He did: Achung! The Desert Tigers! (1977). Sexploitation? He did: Porno-Erotic Western (1979). Joe D’Amato even got Gordon Mitchell into the post-apoc game with Endgame (1983).

Then his career, like all careers do, cooled. So, along with fellow expatriate American actors Richard Harrision and Mike Monty, they headed off to the Philippines to work with John Gale, aka Jun Gallardo, the “star” of Silver Star Productions. Silver Star is a studio you’ve heard mentioned often during our first “Philippines War Week” in August and again, during this second week. All of these film rotate the same actors, either in new footage, or via old footage cut-in from other films; the recycling resulted in the likes of actors such as Mike Cohen, Jim Gaines, Romano Kristoff, Mike Monty, Nick Nicholson, Ronnie Patterson, Paul Vance (who scripts here), and Ken Watanabe (no, not that one; the Nine Deaths of the Ninja one) “starring” in movies they didn’t even sign up to appear in. In fact, the recycling into films of lesser and lesser production value ended up damaging the career of Richard Harrison; after a string of plagiarized Philippines hokum, no studios of note wanted to work with him.

And the same could be said for Gordon Mitchell, who started pumping out the Rambo-cum-Commandos (with touches of Raiders of the Lost Ark) for the Italians, the Turks, and Germans with the likes of Treasures of the Lost Desert, Diamond Connection, and White Fire (all 1984), and Operation Nam (1986). While Terror Force Commando, aka Three Men on Fire (1986), is plugged into the ’80s Philippines war cycle, it’s actually an Italian production; a final directing effort (of four) by Richard Harrison, it was his longtime pet-project, which he also wrote and produced. A hard-to-find film, Harrison stars with his longtime friends and fellow Philippine celluloid mainstays Romano Kristoff and Gordon Mitchell.

And cue Jun Gallardo, who hired Gordon — along with Jim Gaines, Paul Vance, and Ken Watanabe — to star in this Stallone-Arnie clone, along with SFX Retailiator.

Of course, with Silver Star Productions, the character flashbacks and/or story prologues are the thing, so all of that stock war footage from previous films — of their own or of others — can be cut-in to “up” the production values of their cash-strapped productions; for there is no way Silver Star can afford to rent out tanks. And if they did, they’re maximizing that one-shot tank footage whenever possible — which is all the time. You know, like Corman with his Star Wars droppings-recycling we speak of often around here. And like the Alfonso Brescia Pasta Wars droppings we speak of often around here.

So, in some of the half-dozen alternate theatrical one-sheets and VHS sleeves for Commando Invasions, you may see one with a big ol’ diamond on the cover. Well, our “Rambo” adventures begin with a French military convoy in 1950s-era Vietnam responsible for transporting retrieved jewels and art works: they’re ambushed, with the spoils stolen.

Flash forward to the height of the Vietnam war in 1965: The loot has been tracked down by Captain Brady (our “Rambo,” played by Michael James in his first starring role; the other was 1987’s Crossbone Territory; David Carradine fans seen James in P.O.W: The Escape) and his squad. The mission — with the usual “set up” behind the scenes — goes bad: the squad is dead and Brady survives — with a fistful of diamonds in his hands. But a court martial can’t be the end of the movie. Nope.

So — and only in the movies, or at least in the Philippines’ logic of movies — Brady is given a week to head back into the jungle, track down the real culprits (the Cong, natch), and prove his innocence. The betrayals and crosses, bullets (why do guns firing bullets sound like lasers all the time in these flicks) and exploding huts (from other films) ensues — with Gordon Mitchell’s General MacMoreland in cahoots with VC General Diap (Ken Watanabe). Or something like that.

Hey, we’re not here for the plot and thespin’: we’re here for the action. And for the Jun Gallardo the-cover-is-always-better-than-the-movie slop. If you need to complete the Jun Gallardo “war shelf,” his other early-to-mid-’80s not-Rambo flicks are Intrusion: Cambodia, Rescue Team, and The Firebird Conspiracy. (Damn straight! We reviewed all three this week, for we ain’t no lazy anák sa labás.)

There’s no trailer to share, but we found a copy of Commando Invasion on You Tube to enjoy. Oh, and don’t get burned as I did and confuse this one with Invasion Cambodia, aka Intrusion: Cambodia, okay? They are, in fact, two different films.

Oh, yes! There are a LOT of Philippine-made Sly-cum-Arnie romps with the word “Commando” in the title, as our two-week “Philippine War Week” has proven, but . . . did you know Russian cinema also not only did their own knockoffs of popular American films, but blatant shot-for-shot remakes? True story. So be sure to check out Den-D, because, the Russians love their movies, too.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

Oh, man. This friggin’ movie: Jun Gallardo and Romano Kristoff. Together. In the same movie. Help me, Kobol Lords. I don’t even think Sam the Boss is as excited as I. So, let me break it down as to why this pairing is important to your spiritual state of analog being. Strap on the popcorn bucket.

Jun Gallardo sometimes goes incognito as Jim Goldman and John Gale. After Bruce Lee’s untimely death, he took the 100-odd hours of footage from Bruce’s unfinished final film and “directed” Golden Harvest Studios’ bogus 1974, first version of The Game of Death. Across his 54 credits, Gallardo flushed/dumped the VHS Rambo–Commando cheese-clones that we love: The Firebird Conspiracy (1984)*, Commando Invasion (1986)*, and the BIG KAHUNAS: the Linda Blair-starring SFX Retaliator (1987), and the Shannon “Ms. Gene Simmons” Tweed and Reb Brown (Yor, Space Mutiny) non-war epic, The Firing Line (1988).

Spain’s Romano Kristoff — like his friend and eventual film co-star, Ron Marchini — parlayed his Spain and European Martial Arts championship titles into a Philippines-based film career. It all started with Bruce’s Fist of Vengeance (1980), but Kristoff came into his top-of-the-marquee own with Ninja’s Force (1984), in which he wrote, and co-directed with Teddy Page, and starred. Then there’s Ninja Warriors (1985) with Ron Marchini and Teddy Page, as well as Page’s Rambo–Commando rips Black Fire (1985) and Jungle Rats (1988). Then, there’s Kristoff’s two-fer with Mark “Trash” Gregory in Ten Zan: Ultimate Mission and Just a Damn Soldier (both 1988).

However, out of them all, Slash Exterminator — for moi — is the best Kristoff flick of them all, as it just never stops. What makes it great is not its Rambo–Commando feels-like-home-vibes: it’s the Philippines cinema vibes, with all of the expatriate American actors we know and love, such as Mike Monty, Ronnie Patterson, and Paul Vance. Seriously. Who needed to slog through auditions with U.S. TV series and low-budget films; the careers these guys had down under in the Pacific Rim is amazing. An actor’s gotta work and they worked — and then some. The only crime here is why Romano Kristoff failed to crossover to U.S. shores for a series of action films? Yeah, Chuck Norris was fine for those Cannon actioners. And so was Micheal Dudikoff. But why not Romano Kristoff?

I know, Philippines war flick digressing, again.

Okay, I get it: Romano is no Micheal Dudikoff or Chuck Norris in the acting department. But the action is great, so what’s the Mechado Stew beef? This ain’t a rip of Francis Ford Coppola’s Apocalypse Now or Oliver Stone’s Platoon: it’s a Stallone and Arnie ripoff. So, if you’re coming to the Philippines for the acting, then I have a raw fish-grown tapeworm bigger than a baby’s arm to serve you.

So, this time, our fair Rambo heads off to a small country being steamrolled by a communist threat: in steps Peter “Slash” Harris — and he is an exterminator of the first order. So, as with all of these Pacific Rim’er war flicks: we have a soldier and his commander who are buddies . . . then they are not, usually over a botched mission. Yeah, we wondered the same thing: How did these damn soldiers manage to live along enough . . . to have flashbacks . . . to make this movie? Shouldn’t they be dead?

Ack. Overthinking Philippine war flicks and trying to fill in the plot holes is futile. Just eat your Mechado and smile at the screen. Resist not.

So, Slash Harris is a reasonably well-adjusted chap. But not enough to be the big shot CIA boss his ex-commander, Major Andrew Scott (ubiquitous expatriate-cum-Philippines American actor Mike Monty) has become. So, when Scott and his wife (or was it daughter; depends on the country-dub you’re watching) Barbara (Gwenn Hung; same as Monty) run their missions between Cambodia and Thailand to stomp out the ol’ KBG-backed Communism plot-point, Babs is kidnapped. And Scott calls in the only man for the job. But John Rambo was busy. So he called in Peter Harris.

Hey, wait, a sec . . . Harris and Scott are still friends? Ugh. Unexpected plot twist change-up from Jun Gallardo. I’ve been namsploitation duped.

And that’s about it. Huts — from other movies — blow up. The rocket launchers sound like they’re out of a George Lucas space opera. Eh, whatever, Buck. You never get bored, here, as the bullets and explosions come at you in quick succession. And there’s all the stock footage you can handle. Ah, don’t forget that this is a Silver Star Studio production, so any war flick they produced prior to any other film, ends up in the next film. Oh, and amid the stock footage: a bare-chested and sweat-glistening — if that trips your triggers — Rom running around with bullet belts and machine guns.

Bottom line: Jun Gallardo and Romano Kristoff together is junk movie heaven. And you can head into the clouds with this freebie rip on You Tube.

You know what? I hate Romano Kristoff. . . .

Why does he get the cool name that nicks-down to Rom. Bad ass. Meanwhile Samuel and I are stuck with “Sam” and “Rick” and that’s why we write about movies and never starred in them. Would you rent a movie called Slash Exterminator starring Sam Panico and Rick Francis?

Nope. And you have Rom to thank for that.

* We’re writing ahead, here, so cut n’ paste those titles into that search box, aking kaibigan. But you can always click our “Philippines War Week” tag to populate all of our reviews from August and December.

About the Author: You can find R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

Editor’s Note: Welcome to the first review of our second — and final, ever — “Philippine War Week” blow out. Clicking that hyperlink will populate all of the reviews from our first week back in August. And we mean it: there ain’t gonna be no rematch rematch, aka a Part III. We just can’t. It’s too painful. But we’ll always have our ongoing fetish with shark flicks, right? After all is said and done, we reviewed 48 Philippine Namsploitation films in all — and it all ends this Saturday, December 11 at 6 PM. Enjoy!

When all of these films “star” expatriate American actors Mike Monty and Nick Nicholson and Paul Vance (who written a few of these, including Slash Exterminator*, SFX Retaliatior and W Is War) and Gwendolyn Hung — under the eye of Jim Goldman, aka Jun Gallardo — you start to wonder if you’ve already reviewed the film. Even the video box art looks familiar. Even the plot is the same. And rest assure: the action is not only the same: it’s identical, as it is cut in from other Silver Star Productions. You just know Silver Star can’t afford those tanks and helicopters: it’s a sure double-your-Philippine Pesos they bought the footage off of Roger Corman. Or stole it from the Italians, as we shall soon see.

Sadly, as with other Philippine war joints: this is not the least bit entertaining because, well, none of those actors I’ve mentioned, above, are here. Warren Flemming, Bianca De Lorean, Stephen Douglas, Patrick Burton — yes, who? is right because, they’re all one and done actors. Yeah, you know your film has problems when Vic Diaz and Dick Isreal (who’ve starred in over 300 South Asian epics, a piece) are your “top stars” as members of the evil “NVA” terrorist cell. Sure, the familiar Nick Nicholson and Mike Monty are here — as “soldiers” — but via that pesky footage cut in from another film.

And speaking of “footage from other films” mucking up the joint . . .

Adding to the Chuck Norris-Stallone-Schwarzenegger fireball of confusion: this is also known as The Firebird Connection and Tornado II: Firebird. And yes, there is, in fact a Tornado I: a macaroni combat, aka a spaghetti combater, directed by Antonio Margheriti (Yor Hunter from the Future and Seven Deaths in the Cat’s Eye) and released in 1983. And that film was also called The Last Blood (aka Tornado: The Last Blood) — and you know why and what for. And guess what: the cover from Tornado I and II are exactly the same because Silver Star simply took the Margheriti art and added their own info to the box. So, yes: this film clipped Margheriti’s film for its war footage. And while there is no plot here (well, a confusing one), and the acting and dub is awful, there are bursts of entertainment by way of the endless barrage of blanks and squibs and falling bodies — even more so than a Stallone joint.

As for the plot . . . well, we actually have footage from a couple of films, here, such as Margheriti’s The Last Hunter (1980), because, well . . . ‘ol Tony cut footage from that marconi war joint into Tornado. Anyway, the “plot,” it seems, concerns an evil, North Vietnamese tyrant and his NVA organization on the loose in Vietnam as military fathers on both sides try to protect their daughters from the mayhem. The U.S. Ambassador father wants the tyrant at any cost — via Operation Phoenix (squad) — regardless of the body county, yes, even the children that perished during the Troy Mong oli offensive that killed 30 marines. And our plucky reporter (the dubbed Bianca De Lorean) of our U.S. Ambassador won’t shut the hell up about it.

Yeah, it’s all for the freedom-craving people of Vietnam. Yeah, no one on either side is padding their war chests (with that handful of diamonds fueling a subplot). But the film is padded with lots of poorly-dubbed voice overs to push the plot about a critical microfilm that can blow the lid off the “Firebird Conspiracy.” We think. But what we do know is that while it is a completely different film — sans any recycled war footage — Commando Invasion with Gordon Mitchell also has a plucky, won’t-shut-the-hell-up woman (she’s a “guide” instead of a reporter) and another subplot dealing with a fistful of diamonds. And I swear to god — it’s the same friggin’ rock-filled dead hand in both films.

You can decipher it for yourself on You Tube. Maybe this clip from the film will help? No, didn’t think so.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

“The Handler is by far my most action packed film; it is my throwback to ’80s and ’90s action films.”
— Michael Matteo Rossi in the pages of The Movie Waffler

Our first exposure to the work of South Florida-born and L.A. transplanted actor, writer and director Chris Levine (I Hate Kids, The Ice Cream Stop) was by way of his third screenwriting effort: the feature film No Way Out, released last year. Here, in his eighth feature film as an actor (he’s also appeared in array of shorts and web series), he stars in writer-director Michael Matteo Rossi’s fourth feature film. Levine is Ryker Dune: an ex-marine who makes his scratch as a mercenary. After a failed (never explained) mission, Dune returns with a lone, Tarantino-mysterious, ratty trash bag as he bunkers in a “safe house,” one that’s not as safe as he thinks: he now fights for his life against Russian and Samoan agents who want the bag’s contents, as his own ex-soldiers-in-arms are sent to kill him. The message by his bosses (an effective Michael Pashan as Vinnie Fiore) is clear: in our business, there is no such thing as a “last job.”

There’s slight, occasional moments of non-subtitled Russian and Samoan, all of which is well done, natural and not the least bit distracting (but will most likely be subtitled for its consumer stream and DVDs; I watched a press screener). What may be slightly distracting (to the few; not to me, as I’ll soon explain) are the CGI-created blood and bullets in place of the major studio-funded squibs and blood packs afforded to the films in which The Handler pays homage. The Handler, however, still offers us the best-made CGI B n’ B I’ve seen in any indie streamer of late, so kudos to the SFX team headed by James Poirier. In fact, The Handler serves as a production-solid introductory course as CGI-created artillery may soon be a cinematic norm for major studio A-List productions: In the wake of the Alec Baldwin incident, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has pledged his Seven Bucks Productions will no longer use real guns on sets and those “effects” will be taken care of in post-production. (However, the CGI deployed in The Handler is solely budgetary and not a politicized, reactionary knee-jerk.)

Those CGI artillery moments aside: The Handler is still a passionate, against-the-budget action-boiler where you do not hit the big red streaming button expecting an “aging action star” romp of the Liam Neeson variety rife with A-List, summer tent pole Bayos and Bayhems under the canvas with Bruce Willis as the Murphy’s Law Ringmaster. The Handler, like its predecessors, is action-packed with expertly choreographed fight scenes effectively executed by its obviously skilled cast as Chris Levine impresses with a major studio fighting edge that would give a Gruber brother concern. There’s nothing clumsy about the “action” in The Handler and it’s certainly above the frays of most of the indie action flicks that proliferate ad-stream services (such as Tubi). Rebooting Die Hard, Hollywood? Call up Chris Levine from the indie-streaming dug out. Need a villain to take over Alcatraz ? Call 1-800-Tyrone Magnus.

Yeah, I’ve strolled down this new, indie-action streaming boulevard many enjoyable times, with Prince Bagdasarian’s Abducted and Steven C. Miller’s serviceable action-thrillers packed with morally-screwed characters, such as the Bruce Willis-starring First Kill (2017), the Nicolas Cage-starring Arsenal (2018), and the Aaron Eckhart-starring Line of Duty (2019). Ditto for Claire Forlani upending the male-dominated genre with Inferno: Skyscraper Escape and Precious Cargo. Those films, however, benefited from their higher, under $5 million budgets. So what we have with The Handler as the new house on the block (as well as writer-actor Giuseppe Lucarelli’s just-released Checkmate) is more akin to the pretty fine Eric Roberts-starring action thriller (and he’s in the film more than most of his 590-plus films), Lone Star Deception — and that’s not a bad thing.

And it’s a good thing that I’m enjoying my Micheal Dudikoff (Musketeers Forever), Leo Fong (Kill Point), Olivier Gruner (Nemesis, Velocity Trap), Ron Marchini (“Ron Machini Week“!), Chris Mitchum (The Serpent Warriors), and Jim Mitchum (Raiders of the Magic Ivory) rental days of yore with a serviceable streaming action thriller lacking that “star” streaming enticement of Eric Roberts as the nefarious element who wants Ryker Dune, our anti-hero, dead. Do we, however, need Roberts, here? No, sir, as the under-the-radar Michael Pashan and Tyrone Mangus fill his shoes just fine. Rossi’s pen gives the cast a nice collection of expected, retro-action one-liners, and cinematographer Jon Schweigart (100 credits since 2010) makes everyone look ’80s action sweet. Unlike most indie streams that indulge in the non-DVD or commercial cable TV format and eschew a tight, 80-minute format — for a sometimes get-on-with-it-already almost two-hour runtime — Rossi, along with editors David S. Dawson and Mike Peterson, keep us engaged courtesy of a spunky 77-minute run time (one hour seventeen minutes).

What’s really cool is the eight minute credit sequence (that takes us to the 85-minute mark): Rossi takes the time to spotlight his hard working cast with a closing series of vignettes to highlight each actor, along with their name; then, the credits are in a larger typeface and scroll at a more leisurely, non-major studio pace to give Rossi’s hard working crew their moment to shine.

And shine everyone has: they handled their respective disciplines with a class and style as an example to what other streaming action films must strive. True to the poster: The Handler does what it takes to get the retro-action job done.

“With each film I try to add even more action and thrills to the story and feel like this film packs a serious, non-stop action punch. I’m excited for the world to see it soon.”
— Michael Matteo Rossi in the pages of Jumpcut

Where to Watch, Where to Buy

The Handler, which comes off a well-received screening at the Silicon Beach Film Festival held at the TLC 6 Chinese Theater on October 4, 2021, will world premiere via Uncork’d Entertainment on all the usual streaming platforms — as well as Amazon Prime — on December 7, 2021. You can keep abreast of the film on its official Instagram and Twitter portals. You can also learn more about the production of The Handler as Michael Matteo Rossi spoke this February with YM Cinema, in March in the pages of Geek Vibes, and in April for a podcast with Bravo for the B-Side. You can also follow Micheal Matteo Rossi’s work on Facebook.

Our thanks to Uncork’d Entertainment for the pull-quote on the 2022 DVD release, which you can now purchase at Amazon, Best Buy, and Walmart.

Fans of Australian icon Vernon “The Wez” Wells will enjoy his starring in Rossi’s currently-in-production action tale, The Sweepers, due in September 2022. Wells also stars with Chris Levine — alongside Francis Capra (little Calogero in A Bronx Tale) — in Rossi’s upcoming Shadows, due to drop this November. (See what I mean: streaming enticement.)

You can also enjoy the film reviews of Chris Levine’s co-star, Tyrone Magnus (the merc, Logan Strong), on his popular You Tube portal. You can follow Chris Levine’s career on Facebook and learn more about his career with his interview at Voyage LA. Be sure to keep your streaming platforms at the ready for Chris Levine’s continued work with writer-director Joe Hamilton, as they follow up No Way Out with I Die. You Live. and Woods of Ash.

About the Author: You can read the music and film reviews of R.D Francis on Medium and learn more about his work on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies (links to a truncated teaser-listing of his reviews).