Dennis Fimple played many roles. Many here would know him as Grandpa Hugo in House of 1000 Corpses or saw him in Creature from Black Lake. Here, he’s Bob Haldeman, just one of the many White House members caught up in this satire of Watergate, directed by Mark Lester.
It’s also the only movie I can find with Steve Friedman in it. He plays a really bad Nixon in it, who talks to stuffed dogs and has the worst prosthetic nose ever. But that said, Grandpa Al Lewis plays Judge Sirica, who is called Judge Cirrhosis here.
White House Madness was written by Sebastian, who was really Milton Miron. He managed the Cockettes drag queens at San Francisco’s Palace Theater and also made the movie Tricia’s Wedding, which is about, well, Tricia Nixon’s wedding.
The money for this movie came from Republican Senator Phil Gramm, who had invested $7,500 of his money to make what he thought was going to be a beauty contest satire. Instead, his money was used to make this.
White House Madness was released on DVD by Lucky 13 Collectibles, who also put out Acapulco Gold, Evil Laugh and Slaughterhouse in the mid-2010’s. I couldn’t find this anywhere, so shout out to my friend Hoss for hunting this down. Mark Lester week is better for your fine work.
Well, we reviewed Hitman’s Run on Wednesday and Groupie on Saturday, so why not review the first collaboration between Eric Roberts and Mark L. Lester for “Mark L. Lester Week” at B&S About Movies? Yeah, Sam and I are freaking out that 1) We forgot about this movie and 2) That Mark and Eric made three movies together.
Pure unadulterated celluloid heaven.
Image courtesy of Tales from the Snik blogspot.
As long as you don’t go into this expecting a history lesson about 1930’s mob figure Ma Barker — instead affectionately expecting an exploitation-redux of Roger Corman’s version of the 1930’s with his own Big Bad Mama (1974) , Crazy Mama (1975), and Guns, Sin and Bathtub Gin (1979, aka The Lady in Red) — you’ll have a fun time with this mobster romp.
By this point, Lester was out of the theatre-biz with the likes of Firestarter (1984) and Commando (1985) — a fight over editorial control with Warner Bros. regarding 1991’s Showdown in Little Tokyo was the catalyst in Lester producing and distributing his own films — but this was all over Cinemax, HBO, and Showtime in the late-’90s. Sadly, the reviews on this one aren’t good, as reviewers drop phrases like “a good cast gone to waste.”
Balderdash and 23 Skidoo, to you!
We love Lester’s take on the then-hot mobster genre sweeping ’90s Hollywood (1990’s The Godfather III, Goodfellas, Casino, etc., but 1991’s ’30s-styled Bugsy and Mobsters in particular) this one coming from the pen of C. Courtney Joyner, who wrote most of the films in the Mark L. Lester oeuvre we’ve reviewed this week. And we get a pure exploitation cast . . . what else can we expect from a director who casts the actors we care about at B&S About Movies, i.e., Stefan Arngrim from Fear No Evil, Keith Knight from Meatballs and My Bloody Valentine and Lisa Langlois from Happy Birthday to Me and Deadly Eyes, in his movies?
I mean, come one, Theresa Russell as Ma Barker? Alyssa Milano as a femme fatale? Eric Roberts (The Arrangement) as part of the Barker gang? Frank friggin’ Stallone (Terror in Beverly Hills, Ground Rules) as Alvin Karpis? What the hell? Dan Cortese (then from MTV Sports) as Melvin Purvis? And am I the only person (besides Sam) freakin’ with glee that Brian Peck — Victor from The Last American Virgin and Scuz from The Return of the Living Dead — is friggin’ thespin’ as J. Edgar Hoover in this? And the cinematographer on this: Misha Suslov, the “eye” behind Truckin’ Buddy McCoy, Smokey and the Judge, and Black Moon Rising. Suslov’s most recent work is 2020’s The Girls of Summer.
Weee-hoo-hoo! No self-respecting Eric Roberts or Frank Stallone fan should pass this exploitation-mania festival. No one.
Sorry, we were unable to unearth any online streaming freebies. You’ll have to settle for a VOD with Amazon Prime, Vudu, and You Tube Movies. But it is worth every bit ‘o coin.
About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.
EDITOR’S NOTE: We originally ran this review on May 12, 2020. It’s a great reminder that Mark Lester is still making movies. This was written by Paul Andolina. You can see more of his writing on Wrestling with Film and Is the Dad Alive?
Dragons of Camelot is not the type of movie I’d normally seek out. I have no interest in Arthurian Legends but the moment you put in a wrestler in a movie about King Arthur I am obligated to see it. In this case, that wrestler is NWA Power’s Thom Latimer.
Dragons of Camelot is a 2014 film directed by Mark Lester, the same guy that directed Class of 1984 and Class of 1999. It is about King Arthur’s evil sister, the sorceress Morgana, who seeks to control Camelot after Arthur’s death by the way of Dragons. Galahad is sent by King Arthur on his death bed to find Lancelot who is the only one worthy of wielding the legendary sword Excalibur.
Galahad comes across a band of thieves on his way to find Lancelot but they turn out to be Knights of the Round Table, one of them, Sir Bors, is played by Thom Latimer. They join up on their quest to find Lancelot and to reforge Excalibur which was destroyed by Morgana. Along the way they fight Morgana’s evil knights and not one but three dragons.
I wasn’t expecting to enjoy this movie a bit, mainly because it’s subject matter didn’t interest me. However, apart from some iffy acting from some of the characters, it was a decent sword and sorcery outing. I was really impressed by the dragons, they did a good job with their inclusion and even though they were digital creations they looked pretty cool. My favorite part of the entire movie is when they blow off a dragon’s head by shooting a flame arrow into its open mouth while it is inhaling to create its fire breath.
Thom Latimer looks like he could take any number of knights on in this film. He did a good job at being Sir Bors and I think he’s one of the few stand out parts of the film. I found it sort of odd that he threw his axe at the dragon like a goofball. The only other gripe I have with Sir Bors is that he is only in about half of the film. He gets taken out like a chump which was disappointing.
If you like sword and sorcery, you may find some enjoyment in this film but I think for most people it may be a skippable title. You can watch this on Amazon Prime if you subscribe to that service.
And you thought Mark L. Lester and Eric Roberts was a Reese’s chocolate-in-the-peanut butter match in our VHS celluloid heaven? The ‘Les also worked with Mark Dacascos — a man only matched by actor-martial artist Oliver Gruner in direct-to-video action bad assery. Yeah, you heard me right: Mark friggin’ Dacascos: Jimmy Lee in Double Dragon, Zero in John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum, Eric Draven in the The Crow: Stairway to Heaven series, and the Netflix series Wu Assassins. Ah, but the direct-to-video oeuvre: American Samurai, China Strike Force, and The Redemption: Kickboxer 5. Yeah, you’re damn right we watched the mockbusters I Am Omega and Solar Attack for our Dacascos fix.
My only grip with you, Dacascos: Why you haven’t done a movie with Eric Roberts?
“Better research before you pop your lip at me, Mr. Francis.”
“Mark Dacascos?”
“It’s cool, R.D. I did three projects with Eric, in fact. I can’t remember if we had scenes together, and if we are in it that long, you know how that goes in these low-budgeters, but our names are on the boxes. We did Beyond the Game, with Oliver Gruner, by the way, along with Final Approach, and Maximum Impact, with Danny Trejo. And I know you dig Danny over at B&S.”
See. Even the uber fans like Sam and myself can’t see ’em all.
So . . . with Arnie’s Commandofront and center on the ‘ol DVD box and Paula Trickey from TV’s Pacific Blue and The O.C as the only other named commodity in the military tomfoolery: Dacascos is Major John Murphy, a U.S. Army Investigator, teamed with Lt. Kelly Andrews (Trickey) to shut down Sgt. Gammon’s cocaine smuggling operation (at the former Victorville Air Force Base in California).
Are the clichés and stereotypes afoot? Of course they are. But aren’t they also stumbling about in the A-List Summer Tentpoles? You get what you paid for with The Base: it’s not exactly Rambo, but you gets lots of Commando-styled action and violence on a well-stretched budget. And thanks to Dacascos’s agility, we get — unlike with Arnie’s bulk and Sly’s grunt — lots of martial arts action that rivals the celluloid hijinks of Chuck Norris. And ex-75th Ranger Regiment U.S. Army Ranger Tim Abell — still building on his 112-plus resume, including the cable mockbuster Battle of Los Angeles — is pure pisser as the psycho-drug dealing Sgt. Gammon.
“Hey, R.D. Don’t forget to mention that ‘Dacas and I also did Instinct to Kill.”
“You got it, Mr. Abell!”
“Hey, you forgot about the sequel I wrote and Mark Lester produced.”
“C. Courtney Joyner?”
“It was called The Base 2: Guilty as Charged and it starred Antonio Sabato, Jr. in the Major John Murphy role and, this time, James Remar, you know, Ajax from The Warriors, is the corrupt military psycho.”
“Yeah, I know. Sam and I never saw it and we can’t find any online streams.”
“Yeah, that’s how it is with most of my and Mark’s later films. But here’s the trailer. Happy hunting. Oh, thanks for reviewing Public Enemies, by the way.”
“Hey, remind everyone that I made three flicks for Mark Lester.”
“James Remar? Yeah, we’re reviewing Betrayalwith Erika Eleniak. But we can’t find a streaming copy of Blowback with Mario Van Peebles to review. Sorry, James. But we’ve never seen it.”
“Eh, that’s cool. I know how it is with these low-budgeters and their shoddy distribution.”
So, in the words of Sgt. Gammon: “It’s time to lock, cock, and rock” . . . and hit that big read streaming button. You can watch a freebie rip of The Base on You Tube. We also found this very cool interview with Mark L. Lester chatting about his early films on You Tube.
It’s been one hell of a week paying tribute to Mark L. Lester at B&S About Movies. Damn fun.
About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.
Do you remember that feeling where you wanted to be a character in a movie? As we grow up, that feeling goes away. Well let me tell you, I can still feel the yearning to be John Matrix that I felt as a 13-year-old. Sure, Conan the Barbarian and The Terminator made many take notice of Arnold. This is the movie that — to me — put him over the top.
Director Mark Lester told Empire, “It’s the granddaddy of action films as we know them today. And Arnold was the reason it got made.”
Who knew that it was originally a movie all about a soldier turning his back on violence? Well, that wasn’t what ended up on the screen. Instead, we have Arnold gleefully getting revenge on all manner of soldiers, thugs, mercs and habitual linesteppers for around 90 minutes of rip-roaring fun.
Yet when the movie starts, John Matrix is happy. He’s in the woods, feeding deer by hand, hanging out with his daughter Alyssa Milano and carrying trees around by himself. Then, after turning down an offer to come back in, a bunch of no-goodniks come on in and take his daughter. Even worse, his old best friend Bennett (Vernon Wells!) is their leader.
Also: Bennett dresses like, well, no one who has ever lived on this earth before. A chain mail sleeveless shirt would be enough, but then he has leather pants and fingerless gloves. It’s as if the entire design staff of Capcom, Data East, Konami and SNK all looked at the screen and said, “This is the blueprint for every fighting game we will ever make.”
Wells is legitimately unhinged in this movie. In that same Empire article, he said “.. I was so hyped to be in the movie, they could have asked me to jump off the Empire State Building and I probably would have. Making Commando was better than anything you could have smoked.”
Wings Hauser was going to play Bennett, which probably would have been awesome too.
This is a movie where Arnold murders between 81-102 people in twenty minutes. There’s a rocket launcher scene that sends me into a fit of hysteria. The hanging dudes off cliffs by their feet. All the wonderous one-liners. And oh yeah, “Let off some steam, Bennett!” You have no clue how many times that scene was rewound while we all screamed the line to one another.
Arnold made two films at Sherman Oaks and that place should have a gold statue of him that we can all genuflect in front of. This movie is a piece of cinema that no one would have the audacity to make today.
Look, when Dan Heyada is the big bad of your film, you’re doing it right.
John Lutz created the story that Single White Female was based on. The Ex is similar territory — a woman over the edge killing everyone to get what she wants. Here, that woman is Yancy Butler, who you may remember from the Witchblade TV series.
One of the people she’s menacing is Suzy Amis, who is now Suzy Amis Cameron. Yes, that Cameron.
Her husband is played by Nick Mancuso of TV’s Stingray, an actor who was once almost Indiana Jones. Here, he’s just as bonkers as the villain of the piece. Actually, everyone outside of the kid is uniformly a pretty bad person in this movie, which makes it that much more enjoyable.
The best part of this movie — and Mark Lester always finds a way, no matter what — is that the music sounds like it’s straight out of a Disney film, even when people are having rough sex or killing one another. It’s really disconcerting and I mean that in absolutely the best of ways. Outside of Mexican VHS horror, I’ve never heard music that less fits a film.
Mark Lester knows exactly what you want and gives it to you. Let me set a scene in this film for you: Brandon Lee, dressed in a natty suit, joins Dolph Lungren — who is dressed as if he walked straight off the set of a Data East beat ’em up — to walk into a bar where old men are eating sushi off of nude models while two slightly less nude women fight sumo style atop tables. Meanwhile, on a stage that looks like the Fortress of Solitude, Tia Carrere sings “Slow Hand.”
To top that off, there’s a scene where evil Iron Claw Yakuza boss Funekei Yoshida (Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa) kills Angel by cutting her head off while engaging in foreplay as his underlings watch. And when they find her headless body? Yep. That’s the church from Prince of Darkness.
No movie has had meaner bad guys more worthy of being killed by two cooler cops. You have Chris Kenner (Dolph Lundgren), an American raised in Japan, teaming with Japanese/America Johnny Murata (Brandon Lee). While they hate one another at first, they soon become great partners and murder everyone who gets in their way to solve the case.
There’s also a bonkers scene where Kenner rescues Tia’s character from committing seppuku by tackling her through a plate glass window. There is no subtlety here.
Somehow, the Iron Claw has united the Crips, the Mexican gangs and the Hell’s Angels. And if you wondered, where is Professor Toru Tanaka? He’s right here.
This is a movie self-aware enough to have Brandon Lee’s character say, “You have the biggest dick I’ve ever seen on a man,” while also having the most over the top action sequences to ever be released straight to the shelves of your local video store and a body count of 58.
After being disappointed by Warner Brothers taking over this film and cutting eleven minutes, Lester started to finance and sell his movies himself to keep control over them. Good for him.
While a sequel to Class of 1999, none of the storylines cross over from that film. There is, however, flashback footage on hand to help pad out the running time and give some vague remembrance of what has gone on before.
This movie is the very definition of a “the store’s closing, you better grab something” VHS rental era pick.
John Bolen — no relation to my old roommate and TNA Gut Check winner — is the new substitute teacher in Bend, Oregon. He beats up some punks for skipping class and when another teacher threatens to narc on him, he breaks the guy’s neck. John is played by Sasha Mitchell, who was Cody Lambert on Step by Step.
While obviously one of the androids from the last movie, John can still fall in love with a fellow teacher and go to war with a museum currator played by Nick Cassavetes (The Wraith).
There is also much paintballing and a year before Monica Lewinsky mention that Clinton had been indicted.
Originally called Class of 2001: The Substitute, this was directed by Spiro Razatos, who is still doing stunt work on this day on movies like the new Fast and the Furious and the Marvel films.
The beginning of this movie takes on an Escape from New York feel, informing the audience that violence in American high schools is out of control. With most major cities being controlled by gangs, schools have shut down or become basically military camps.
Yes, Class of 1999 does something few movies have ever done. It takes a mostly realistic first movie and then goes completely off the rails, placing the sequel in a near-post apocalyptic future.
Seattle’s Kennedy High School is in the middle of a free fire zone, a place that the police don’t dare to intervene. So the Department of Education Defense (D.E.D.) and MegaTech head Dr. Bob Forrest (Stacy Keach, magnificent) have decided to use the school to test their new breed of teachers: Coach Bryles, Mr. Hardin and Ms. Connors (Pam Grier!). With delinquents being allowed back into the school, these android teachers are fully prepared and willing to use deadly force to keep horseplay to a minimum.
This is the story that hero Cody Culp (Bradley Gregg, Fire In the Sky) must conquer. Or at least survive. His love interest is played by Traci Lind, who was also in Fright Night Part 2. She retired from acting at a young age and made claims that was abused by her ex-boyfriend Dodi Fayed. Yes, the same man who died with Princess Di.
Between the Razorheads and Blackhearts gang war, robotic teachers unleashing flamethrowers and trying to protect his old friends, Cody has a lot of work on his hands. I mean, his kid brother Angel (Joshua John Miller, Homer from Near Dark) gets killed and there’s a letter in blood written on his trademark basketball.
Every single person in this movie is ridiculous and I say that in absolutely the kindest way. This movie is entertaining from the moment it starts. Punk rock future gang wars? A Terminator version of Pam Grier? Malcolm McDowell as a school principal? An albino mad scientist Stacy Keach? Yes. This movie has that and so much more.
This Saturday, July 18, at 8 PM east coast time, we’ll be watching two Linda Blair movies on Tubi!
Up first is Savage Streets, a movie that proves that you do not ever mess with Ms. Blair. Oh man, this movie. It’s gloriously scummy and I can’t wait to watch it with all of you! You can watch it on Tubi.
Strawberry slices (I’d use frozen ones here as they’ll work just like ice)
Muddle the orange and lime slices with your syrup.
Add ice, the muddled mix and strawberry slices together in a glass.
Fill with coconut rum and enjoy.
Hell Night is next! You can also find this on Tubi. This isn’t just a double Linda Blair feature, it’s a double Tom DeSimone one if you want to get fancy. It’s the last Compass International Picture, too! To enjoy the exploits of Alpha Sigma Rho, I’ve found a fun and fruity drink.
B&S About Movies 
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