Hitman’s Run (1999)

Sooner or later, Mark Lester and Eric Roberts would have to unite and bring their dual direct to video magic to bear. This would be one of those times and it would not be the last.

Here, Eric is former mob hitman Tony Lazorka, who has become John Dugan in witness protection after he refuses to kill someone. He’s in witness protection which is more like witless protection. And the mob is back on his trail, which is how these things always go. Where’s Arnold ready to erase people these days?

Roberts gets screwed over by a hacker, who we know is a computer wizard because he rides a skateboard and is a general malcontent. He’s played by Esteban Powell, who was in Dazed and Confused and Powder before this. He cannot have been more annoying than he was in this movie and I didn’t want his poor father (Eric Poppick, who always plays nosy neighbors and put-upon doctors; witness Single White Female and Problem Child) to ever find him again. Having the mob kill you would be a better fate than enduring one day with this keyboard kid.

C. Thomas Howell plays a fed, Farrah Forke makes an appearance and plenty of people only I would get excited about are in this, like Damian Chapa (dude, the guys IMDB bio is bonkers; he name drops growing up in a bar across from Larry Flynt’s first Hustler club, then talks about how The James Dean Foundation picked him over Leo for a biopic before they were all murdered, yet he neglects to mention that he played Ken in Street Fighter), Pittsburgh native Lindsay Taylor and Joe Viterelli, who was in the aforementioned Eraser and was a dependable mob character actor, appearing as Jelly in the two Analyze This movies, as well as MobstersBullets Over Broadway and Mafia!

You can watch this on Tubi.

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