April 20: Screw the Medveds — Here’s a list of the movies that the Medveds had in their Golden Turkey Awards books. What do they know? Defend one of the movies they needlessly bashed.
Based on the Harold Robbins book, directed by Daniel Petrie (Bronco and Billie, Six Pack, Fort Apache the Bronx) and written by William Bast and Walter Bernstein, this is the story of Loren Hardeman Sr. (Laurence Olivier) and the car that will bring his company back to glory, named for his great-granddaughter (Kathleen Beller). This goes against what his grandson (Robert Duvall) thinks the company’s future is. It’s also about the loves of race driver Angelo Perino (Tommy Lee Jones) and a special fuel that will power The Betsy.
In The Golden Turkey Awards, Harry and Michael Medved said of this movie: “Another Harold Robbins book bites the dust as a wretched, melodramatic film. Lord Laurence Olivier’s attempt at a Texas twang is a hilarious flop, as is his incestuous relationship with his daughter-in-law, Katharine Ross.”
Jokes on you, Medveds, that’s just cucking your son, not incest. It’s also a scene where the homosexual son of the elder Loren shoots himself in the head while the young version of the grandson Loren watches, then goes upstairs to tell his mom, who has grandpa between her thighs.
That’s Harold Robbins, right?
Well, in the world of this movie, it’s an actual choice between Kathleen Beller and Lesley-Anne Down. Come on, Tommy Lee Jones!
The festival kicks off with a special opening night event at the Peabody Essex Museum featuring Tony Todd (Candyman, Final Destination, The Crow), keynote speaker Kier-La Janisse (House of Psychotic Women, Woodlands Dark & Days Bewitched: A History of Folk Horror), and George A. Romero Foundation president and founder Suzanne Desrocher-Romero. Andrea Subissati (Rue Morgue Magazine, The Faculty of Horror) will moderate a conversation with Tony Todd followed by a screening of Candyman.
On Friday night, April 21, there will be an opportunity to see Night of the Demons in an intimate 25-seat screening room with horror legends and stars of the film Linnea Quigley (Night of the Demons, Return of the Living Dead) and Amelia Kinkade (Night of the Demons 1 – 3) as part of an exclusive fan experience! They will introduce the film and participate in a 30-minute Q&A. Event includes autographed glossy and selfie with each guest.
Friday, April 28, you can see Fright Night in an intimate 25-seat screening room with horror legends and stars of the film William Ragsdale (Fright Night 1 – 2, Herman’s Head), Amanda Bearse (Fright Night, Married with Children), and Stephen Geoffreys (Fright Night, 976-Evil) as part of an exclusive fan experience! They will introduce the film and participate in a 30-minute Q&A. Event includes autographed glossy and selfie with each guest. Extremely limited.
April 23: Wicked shorts (East and West), Bakeneko: A Vengeful Spirit, The Cat Came Back: Feline Familiars in the Horror Genre, Woodlands Dark & Days Bewitched: A History of Folk Horror, The Ninth Heart, Brightwood, Prague Nights, Summoner, Your Love Is Mine
April 28: Dead End, T Blockers, The House Sitters, Saint Drogo, The Blair Witch Project
Until the three-hour cut played at the Cannes Film Festival three years after thsi movie was released and received the Technical Grand Prize and almost took home the Palme d’Or, this has been considered one of the greatest Chinese movies ever made.
Director and written by King Hu, A Touch of Zen was based on the classic Chinese story “Xianü” and comes from the book Strange Stories from a Chinese Studio by Pu Songling.
Gu Sheng-tsai (Shih Chn) is a painter who has never really done much, nor has he wanted to, in his life. But when he meets Yang (Hsu Feng), a female fugitive scheduled for execution, he discovers that he can do more and joins her in the battle against Eunuch Wei and his army.
This movie is perhaps most famous for its sword fight in the bamboo forest sword fight. It lasts ten minutes on screen, but took twenty-five days to film. It was choreographed by Han Yingjie, a former Beijing opera actor and the action director of A Touch of Zen.
King Hu is the kind of creative that would spend a large part of this movie’s budget to build a village set and then he left it unused for nine months so it would be weathered. There are also no fights until an hour into the movie. This builds on the magic he created with Come Drink With Me and Dragon Gate Inn.
One example of how he was a different director lies in the aftermath of the ghost trap sequence. At first, Gu is overjoyed that he has become a hero and that his plan has led to the destruction of the evil forces. Yet as he walks through their bodies, he realizes that there is a human cost. These aren’t faceless video game characters, but instead actual people that he has killed. He begins to cry and then scream, as every footstep shows him one more person dead because of him.
What a gorgeous movie.
Want to see it for yourself?
You can watch A Touch of Zen on April 30 at 1:00 PM in Theater 1 at Metrograph and Subway Cinema in New York City. It’s part of the 10th Old School Kung Fu Fest: Sword Fighting Heroes Edition from April 21-30, 2023!
April 19: Weird Wednesday — Write about a movie that played on a Weird Wednesday, as collected in the book Warped & Faded: Weird Wednesday and the Birth of the American Genre Film Archive. Here’s a list.
No less an authority than Jaclyn Smith described Flipper’s Roller Boogie Palace as “Studio 54 on wheels.” For the two years it was open (1979-1981), this West Hollywood spot to be was inside a golden-domed art deco building on the corner of Santa Monica Boulevard and La Cienega. It was the kind of place where The Go-Go’s would play as the rich and famous skated, often semi-nude as the dress code was pretty much whatever you want to wear. Or not wear. Now, a modern version has been opened in New York (with more coming) by creator Ian “Flipper” Ross’ daughter Liberty.
Skatetown, U.S.A. was based on Flipper’s but was instead shot at the Hollywood Palladium (and you can also see Lawrence Welk’s bubble machine). Between all the athletic skating — Patrick Swayze was a competitive skater in his teenage years — there are plenty of wacky subplots, because for some reason, Hollywood bosses thought the kids wanted to see itching powder, Ruth Buzzi, Joe E. Ross, Billy Barty and Unknown Comic Murray Langston crack wise.
The real story is between Richie (Scott Baio) and Ace Johnson (Swayze) who are competing to win a thousand dollars and a moped. Yes, 1979 did not have big prizes. There are also roles for Flip Wilson, Maureen McCormick (who said “Like a disco, there was a lot of cocaine being done on the set. Many people were open about it,” and by many people, she means her), Judy Landers, Horseshack from Welcome Back, Kotter, a pizza-eating Dorothy Stratton and David Landsberg, who would go on to be in the Cannon movies Detective School Dropouts and Dutch Treat. There’s also a DJ named The Wizard (Denny Johnston) who shoots laser beams out of his hands. Well, one night, Niles Rogers literally roller skated to Flipper’s to do a set. Top that, Wizard.
Director William A. Lavey also made Blackenstein, The Happy Hooker Goes to Washington and Wham Bam Thank You Spaceman. He also wrote the script with Landsberg’s future comedy partner Lorin Dreyfuss and Nick Castle. Yes, a year after Halloween, Nick Castle was pounding the keys to write this roller skating movie.
Billed as “The Rock and Roller Disco Movie of the Year!” most people said, “Yeah, sure.”
April 19: Weird Wednesday — Write about a movie that played on a Weird Wednesday, as collected in the book Warped & Faded: Weird Wednesday and the Birth of the American Genre Film Archive. Here’s a list.
Andy Milligan was a maniac who made movies filled with maniacs. By all reports, he was in the same constant bad mood as nearly every one of his characters, just as willing as them to start screaming no matter what, no matter when. This may have been because he inherited the same bipolar disorder or schizophrenia that his mother had. Forget the words of Stephen King, who said that Andy’s films were made by “morons with movie cameras” and instead, just imagine the chaos of each film’s shoestring budget set with a fastidious Andy melting down and then savor the results.
The other thing about the Milligan Cinematic Universe is that often there will be supernatural beings. The Mooneys in this movie are all werewolves who transform once a month on the night of the full moon. Pa (Douglas Phair) has spent nearly all of his near-two hundred years of life trying to cure his family, which includes his caretaker Phoebe (Joan Ogden), the sadistic Monica (Hope Stansbury) who mutilates vermin and Malcolm (Berwick Kaler), who is so far gone that he’s kept locked up.
There’s also Diana (Jackie Skarvellis), who has come back home from medical school along with a new husband named Gerald (Ian Innes). She’s the last hope for the Mooneys, as she is the only one who doesn’t gain fur once a month.
Shot in London — along with The Body Beneath, Bloodthirsty Butchers and The Man with Two Heads — new scenes were added when producer William Mishkin wanted to cash in on the success of Willard. Those scenes — one has Andy in it — were shot in his Staten Island home. Milligan had a hard time getting rid of the rats, even when he tried to give them away to the audience that would come to see this film. He also plays the gunsmith who creates silver bullets and Mr. Micawber, a man who sells flesh-eating rats that have already bitten off one of his arms and a lot of his face.
Despite being set a century before, we can see and hear cars, as well as see electrical outlets, but man, Andy made all the costumes himself by hand and I can just imagine him getting out the patterns and swearing the whole time, shouting about thimbles.
The greatest thing about this movie is the title, which had to lure people in because it’s so good and then people would be confronted by a toxic family just shouting and snipping and screaming and that’s the real movie, not the furry masks or flesh-consuming vermin. That’s what I’m here for.
Here’s a drink recipe to get you through the film.
Red Eyed Black Rat
1/3 cup orange juice
3 oz. dark rum
2 oz. cola
2 maraschino cherries
This one is pretty simple. Pour the juice, rum, then cola over ice and enjoy. For extra fun, drop in the cherries and pretend they’re rat eyes staring at you in the dark of the wasteland.
April 19: Weird Wednesday — Write about a movie that played on a Weird Wednesday, as collected in the book Warped & Faded: Weird Wednesday and the Birth of the American Genre Film Archive. Here’s a list.
Chesty Anderson is a WAVE (Woman Accepted for Volunteer Emergency Service) in the U.S. Navy and the lead character in a movie that promises that you will see bare breasts. That’s 1976, I guess, and Shari Eubank is the right actress for this. A former cheerleader and homecoming queen at Farmer City High School in Illinois, she only was in one other movie and what a movie: Russ Meyer’s Supervixens. After this movie, she quit acting and moved back home where she became a drama teacher. And she’s a way better actress than most people would be in sexploitation film, but man, Supervixen is your drama teacher? The world is fascinating.
While this movie is a snooze — how can a movie named Chesty Anderson, USN be boring? — it does have a fun cast. It left Scatman Crothers ill-prepared for dealing with Kubrick, as one can only assume every scene is done in one take; I’ll bet there were fewer takes in this all put together than in one scene of The Shining. Timothy Carey is devouring scenery and being a lunatic as a mobster, while Ilsa herself Dyanne Thorne is in this as a fellow WAVE, while Joyce Mandel (Wham Bam Thank You Space Man), Uschi Digard (so many mammary-based movies), Rosanne Katon (Bachelor Party), Marcie Barkin (Fade to Black), Connie Hoffman (The Naughty Stewardesses), Dorrie Thomson (Policewoman) and even Betty Thomas show up. Fred Willard too, as Chesty’s square boyfriend.
Chesty’s sister has been killed after taking photos of Senator Dexter (George Dexter) in drag, which gets organized crime involved. And a man-eating plant is part of the story.
Yet through all this — a movie with all of these people — it’s very PG. And look, I’m not demanding sin, but in a movie with this cast, even the shower scenes could be watched on regular television. It promises you vice and gives you virtue. Well, not much, but you get the point.
Director Ed Forsyth also made Superchick, Caged Men, The Ramrodder and more, while writer Paul Pumpian mostly worked in animation after this and this is the only film for his co-writer H.F. Green.
April 19: Weird Wednesday — Write about a movie that played on a Weird Wednesday, as collected in the book Warped & Faded: Weird Wednesday and the Birth of the American Genre Film Archive. Here’s a list.
I was loud while watching this movie that my wife had to come to check on me. The sheer delight had overtaken me when East Eddie (Sid Haig) appeared in a movie where gigantic-eyed Atlantean people attempted to keep their undersea world alive thanks to a new queen named Syrene (Leigh Christian), who must constantly sire new children, as decreed by her adopted father Nereus (George Nader).
Eddie is part of a group trying to farm pearls for money which includes what could be the exploitation movies made in the Philippines version of The Avengers: Manuel the Barracuda (Vic Díaz), Logan (John Ashley) and Vic Mathias (Patrick Wayne).
Producer Ashley had the idea that this would be a science fiction version of The Treasure of the Sierra Madre, which is a big idea, while Wayne would only be in the film if it was a family-friendly movie, but it’s also about rebuilding the DNA of a dying world of interbred bug-eyed merpeople, which is a fun juxtaposition.
The underwater scenes are gorgeous and this has way better production values than many movies made in the Philippines. Yet if it had more exploitation — a fact that Ashley believed — I think it would be a more exciting movie.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Competing since 2014, Demaras Racing is made up of three committed family members: No. 12 Daniel Demaras, No. 29 Michelle Demaras and Chris ‘#16’ Demaras. They also have an awesome website where they share Fast Films every Friday. Here’s one of them!
Whoever handled marketing for Drive back in 2011 ran commercials that made this movie look like Ryan Gosling joined the latest installment of The Fast & the Furious.
“A Hollywood stuntman who doubles as a getaway driver at night. He’s icy cool, but his pretty neighbor and her little boy are melting his heart. With a million dollar score, he can finally leave his old life behind. He can outrun the cops, but can he escape his past?”
Audiences were confused. What they saw was a stylish, art-house movie exploring the a character’s descent into madness, disguised as a car flick.
The driver is cold, distant and emotionless. An automaton who’s purpose is to drive. He does it with skill, and very few words. The opening scene sets the tone. The meticulous planning of the driver helps the bad guys escape a robbery, not with his blinding speed, but by outsmarting the cops with his street knowledge, using highway overpasses and tall buildings to hide from the police helicopter. The director attempts to make it clear that the driver is not like the bad guys; he is never in the frame together with them, even when in the getaway car.
The 1973 Chevrolet Chevelle SS ‘hero car’ says a lot about the protagonist. This is not something from the ’69 to ’71 golden years of muscle cars. Many wouldn’t even recognize that this was raced in NASCAR by Bobby Allison and Darrell Waltrip to victories. Far from flashy in primer-grey, it’s a perfect low-key muscle car for a getaway driver.
The title character is a movie stunt driver and part-time getaway driver, but his ‘front’ is as an auto mechanic. Inside his boss’ Shannon’s garage is an incredible array of classic American cars including a 1955 Ford Thunderbird, 1967 Pontiac GTO, 1969 Cadillac Fleetwood Eldorado, 1969 Dodge Charger and 1969 Plymouth Road Runner.
One fateful day, the driver’s pretty, blonde neighbor Irene, and her son Benicio, show up at the garage in their busted Toyota Camry. The movie completely changes, and the pace slows down, as the audience is presented with a character study of a lonely man making a human connection.
The driver is a quiet guy, and expresses little emotion, few aspirations. But his boss Shannon (Brian Cranston from Breaking Bad) has visions of running a race team, now that he has the driver! Shannon wants to borrow $400,000+ from a local gangster (played by Albert Brooks of Taxi Driver fame) and invites him to the track to watch the driver run laps in a turn-of-the-century Chevy Monte Carlo NASCAR.
The movie is stylish; like a hot-pink and baby-blue 80’s version of Taxi Driver and Danish director Nicholas Winding Refn uses non-verbal communication such as music, colour and lighting to set the tone. We learn little about the stoic driver’s backstory, but the audience sees him change as his relationship with Irene and Benicio blossoms. The driver starts believing that he too can have a normal life, and that he can leave his life of crime in the rearview mirror.
In a misguided attempt to ‘help’ his new family, the driver agrees to a million dollar heist. If he can pull this off, he can be free from his criminal life. But everything goes wrong, the driver is double-crossed, and a second action movie scene occurs. In a recreation of the classic chase scene from 1968’s Bullitt, the driver is the hero behind the wheel of a 2011 Ford Mustang GT pursuing the bad guys in their full-size, V8 powered Chrysler 300C, standing in for the iconic Dodge Challenger from the original.
The driver escapes with the loot, and wants to take Irene and her son to start a new life together. But the gangsters he stole the cash from have other ideas, and threaten the lives of the driver’s surrogate family. Rather than helping Irene, the driver has brought the underworld life to her doorstep, endangering the lives of the people he cares for most. What’s a gangster to do?
In full Travis Bickle mode, the driver goes on a vehicular rampage, brutalizing everyone who poses a threat to his loved ones. Much as he wants to be the good guy, the driver is consumed by his dark side to save the girl. It’s easy to see why this movie alienated audiences upon release. Is the driver the hero, or just another villain with a soft spot? Does leaving the blood-stained bag of heist money next to the bodies of his enemies make him better than them? It’s open to audience interpretation whether this is a happy ending or not…but this is definitely not your average action movie.
After bandits murder a retired sheriff named Yang Du and his wife — they are the only to ever escape from prison that he caught — their three daughters are separated for their own safety. Years later, each of the three — Xiufeng (Li Hua-Yang), Qingfeng (Mei Chin) and Zhifeng (Ching Liu) — all seek revenge on their own, with Xiufeng dressing as a man named Lin Kending to fight crime.
The three men — Lu Tianba (Kang Ming), Cao Senxiong (Wu Pin-Nan) and Ke Yingqiang (Yi Yuan) — are brothers who have gone on to even greater crimes after killing Yang Du. And while Qingfeng and Zhifeng’s lives aren’t where they want them to be, once reunited with Xiufeng, they get on the path to revenge.
Directed by Chen Hung-Min, this has wild handheld camera work, as well as night scenes that were lit by the headlights of cars. Everything about this movie is charming, from the swish pans of the camera and abrupt cutting to the music, which mixes the traditional with the modern world of 1968 film scores. Once the girls reunite and start getting their vengeance, this gets really good.
Want to see it for yourself?
You can watch Vengeance of the Phoenix Sisters next Saturday, April 22 at 1 PM in Theater 1 at Metrograph and Subway Cinema in New York City. It’s part of the 10th Old School Kung Fu Fest: Sword Fighting Heroes Edition from April 21-30, 2023!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Competing since 2014, Demaras Racing is made up of three committed family members: No. 12 Daniel Demaras, No. 29 Michelle Demaras and Chris ‘#16’ Demaras. They also have an awesome website where they share Fast Films every Friday. Here’s one of them!
Your eyes do not deceive you. That is the treacherous Don Barzini from The Godfather as a grand prix driver in Mask of Dust. This 1954 British movie was produced by Hammer Films, best known for horror movies like 1957’s The Curse of Frankenstein. Before they found their niche, Hammer Films took footage of the 1953 Formula 1 season, added some melodramatic ‘plot’ to fill up the run time, and created this a car flick that’s truly a B-Movie masterpiece.
Released in the USA as A Race for Life the movie tells the tale of racing driver Peter Wells (silver screen star Richard Conte) a former champion who hasn’t won a race in two years. In the opening scene, Wells hops out of his race car after a practice session (filmed at Goodwood Circuit in England) thinking he’d laid down blistering times, only to be shocked at his slow laps. The pit crew tries to blame the carburetor, but Wells knows the truth… he’s lost his mojo. Wells’ younger, better, faster, stronger teammate even tries to convince the team boss that which is obvious to all; Wells is all washed up.
Fellow racers tell Wells to hang up the goggles. Wells’ hot blonde wife tells him to quit and rambles on about wanting a cottage, a white picket fence, and him not to die. She does not understand that a man like Wells, a superstar racer, cannot quit when he’s down. He must go out on top. Wells needs one more win.
During a race, a rival is critically hurt in a wreck. Wells abandons his car while leading the race, and rushes to the hospital. Team boss is pissed off, and almost fires Wells. Wife is pissed off, and leaves Wells rather than watch him face the same fate.
After 30 minutes of self-doubt and hand-wringing, the filmmakers mercifully added one more racing sequence (possibly shot at Oulton Park). The 1950’s Formula 1 cars take their place as the stars of the movie. Front-engined Ferraris speed around treacherous corners, the tree-lined track looking deadly and devoid of safety measures.
Raw footage of grand prix cars is interspersed with some of the worst phony-baloney onboard shots ever filmed. You can only assume this was the maximum special effects of the day, but gosh, would it have been so hard to put a race car on a trailer, and film Richard Conte from the back of a pickup truck?
In a challenge of man versus machine, the race car spits hot oil at Wells, reminiscent of the flames Mickey Rooney drives through in The Big Wheel. Wells’ feet and legs are burned by an overheating engine. But there’s no quit in Wells! It’s not just a race…it’s a race for his life!
Yeah…corny. But who cares! If you just ignore the ‘acting’ and ‘plot’ you’ll see that this film provides an rare glimpse into open-wheel racing action from the genesis of Formula 1, those earliest years. The film includes racing footage of Sir Stirling Moss and John Cooper behind the wheel. As a piece of preserved history, and not just a B-movie, A Race for Life is a champion!
This great old racing movie can be found on Cult Cinema Classics channel on YouTube.
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