Austrian-born ghost hunter Professor Dr. Hans Holzer wrote the book Murder In Amityville that the incredibly salacious and totally awesome Amityville II: The Possession was based on. Eight years later,  The Amityville Curse was made, based on another of his books. Holzer wrore a hundred plus books, so people really need to get on making more movies based on his crazy ideas.

This was directed by Tom Berry, who is mainly is known as a producer, helping make movies like Scanners II: The New Order, The Paperboy and Screamers. If you rented movies in the 1990’s, you probably picked up a movie that he touched from far away in the Great White North.

Marvin and Debbie bought the house next to the Amityville house because, well, we wouldn’t have a movie if they didn’t. It’s possessed because there’s a tunnel that connects the houses. And also, yes, if it wasn’t possessed I probably wouldn’t be watching this movie.

They bring up some of their friends to help get it back in shape, like Frank (Kim Coates, Carlo from Battlefield Earth), Abigail (Cassandra Gava, the witch who tries to seduce Arnold in Conan the Barbarian) and Bill.

Frank ends up possessed and kills just about everyone but the ladies. He also wipes out Mrs. Moriarty, the former housekeeper. And there’s also a story of a priest who died here when the house was once a rectory. This doesn’t reach the absurd heights of some of the other Amityville films, but it does have a dude getting shot with a nailgun, so there’s that.

Should you get it? Well, you know me and my curse when it comes to Amityville. Of course you should get it! It’s now available from Vinegar Syndrome.

The poster for this movie features Disneyland Paris’s Phantom Manor attraction with a few Photoshopped tweaks. No worries — it isn’t the house from the original film or even the one used in this movie.

However, the actual house used in The Amityville Terror is the same house used to shoot the interiors for Amityville: The Evil Escapes. And Amanda Barton, who wrote and acted in this, was part of the wardrobe crew for a movie called Exorcism: The Possession of Gail Bowers. That movie used the house from the 2005 The Amityville Horror remake. Man — these films are becoming incestuous and I’m not just talking about the antics between Sonny and Patricia in Amityville II: The Possession.

What this movie is about is the house in Amityville that Jessica and Todd Jacobson, their daughter Hailey and troubled aunt Shae (Barton) have moved into. Right away, Shae starts acting strangely, probably because there was a kid who used to live in this house that burned his baby brother in a bathtub full of acid. Obviously, Amityville movies have upped the ante from the simple shotgun.

They set up that Hailey can use a crossbow, which is a good thing, because she fulfills the Chekov’s gun promise that this early reveal proposes.

Look, if you have a troubled marriage and family issues, I’ve found that moving to a haunted house is the worst thing possible. It doesn’t solve problems. It just creates more of them. And don’t sleep with anyone you meet inside that house that isn’t your wife — well, sometimes even if it is your wife.

Maybe don’t just watch Amityville movies. Then again, I’m doing an entire week of them, so allow me to take the pain for you, dear reader.

You can watch this on Amazon Prime, Tubi and Vudu.

Seventeen movies into the Amityville cycle and here we are. More found footage and college students in a study to learn what fear is all about. They should have to sit through an entire day of non-stop Amityville films like I did and they’ll understand what fear is all about.

Seriously — I’ve never felt the title of a movie more in my entire life.

Originally called The Fear Tapes, this movie was directed by Henrique Couto (Haunted House on Sorority Row, Depression: The Movie).

George, our protagonist, travels to the cursed woods of Amityville — man, when are we getting Amityville Toilet and Amityville Corn Maze? — to work on his thesis. Along for the ride are his girlfriend Sarah, his sister Elizabeth, Simon the cameraman and Lisa. There’s also a girl named Lina who wasn’t in the original rough cut of the movie, but has her own story. Of course, those two stories eventually come together.

Can there be such a thing as too many Amityville movies? I sure hope so.

Mark Polonia also made Empire of the Apes, so it stands to wonder why he waited so long to make a cash-in on the Amityville series. I mean, this is the man who also made Sharkenstein, Bigfoot vs. Zombies and multiple Camp Blood movies. Just so you know what you’re getting into — these are shot on video films intended for DVD distribution to maniacs like me in Walmart (or today, on Amazon Prime).

For the eleventh overall Amityville movie, a young woman and her friends — on their way back from helping with hurricane relief efforts in Florida, keeping it topical — stop in the town of Amityville to check in on a sick grandmother.

That’s when they run into an ancient witch and her spells, which turn one of them into a spider. This is more about a curse on the townsfolk than 112 Ocean Avenue. But hey — Eric Roberts turns up as The Dark Lord. What does Roberts do, show up in rural Pennsylvania and put out a beacon to tell directors that he’s available for work?

You can watch this on Amazon Prime.

At seven years old in 1979, I can tell you that I was beyond terrified of The Amityville Horror, putting my hands over my ears and screaming every time the TV commercial came on as if the ghosts could come through the TV — keep in mind, Poltergeist was 3 years away — and get me.

Based on Jay Anson’s 1977 supposedly true book of the cultural phenomenon that was the house at 112 Ocean Avenue, this movie was originally going to be a made-for-TV movie. Instead, it became a major box office hit.

In the early morning hours on November 13, 1974, Ronald DeFeo Jr. murdered his entire family with a shotgun. A year later, the Lutz family — James Brolin and Margot Kidder, along with their kids Greg (K.C. Martel), Amy and Matt (Meeno Peluce, who is the half-brother of Soleil Moon Frye and was in Don’t Go Near the Park) — move in and quite literally, all hell breaks loose (“yea, evil is as evil does and who / Yea, who but me could write this book of cruel”).

Rod Steiger, Don Stroud and John Larch play the priests who are ill-equipped to deal with whatever demons reside here. Yes, in the years since The Exorcist, the clergy has lost much of its ability to stop the fallen angels that make walls bleed and turn nice dads like Babs’ hubby into axe-carrying madmen. Poor Rod — this Hollywood royalty had his forehead smeared with honey so that bugs would crawl all over him.

Somehow, this sort of boring haunted house film launched a cottage industry. Even more surprising is the fact that it’s directed by Stuart Rosenberg, the same man who made the electric Cool Hand Luke.

Of all the movies they released, this movie remains American International Pictures’ biggest hit.

Because the movie had a low budget, James Brolin took less money up front but with a promise of 10% of the gross sales. He eventually received about $17 million, which if we adjust for inflation means he made $60 million dollars on this movie. Man, this Satan racket pays off. I love that Brolin complained that he didn’t get another role for two years. Dude — you made insane money on this one.

Ed and Loraine Warren, those lovable carnies, were involved with the investigation of the real house and somehow turned that into roles as the Demonology Advisors for Amityville II: The Possession, which is a much better movie than this one.

BONUS: You can hear us discuss The Amityville Horror on our podcast.

About the Author: Paul Andolina is a great fan of movies. You can check out his sites Wrestling with Film and Is the Dad Alive?

A Perfect Host, originally titled Adonis Complex is a thriller directed by Chad Werner. It stars Emily Hiott (who along with Chad wrote the film), John Michael Simpson, Katelyn Marie Marshall, Jeff McQuitty, and Brady Burleson Johnson.

Sam (Jeff McQuitty) and Avery (Katelyn Marie Marhsall) are going to a lake house for a weekend  getaway, joining them will be Cory (John Michael Simpson), and Becca (Emily Hiott). Sam and Avery arrive first but their access code to the house does not work, after Sam unsuccessfully calls Tad (Brady Burleson Johnson) about the code, he receives a text from Tad to try the code again, and suddenly it works.

Sam and Avery settle in choosing separate rooms and prepare for the arrival of their friends, who will be there the next day.  They look through the entertainment options but all that is in the house is a strange DVD titled Body of Gods. A few glasses of wine later, Sam bares his heart to Avery and tells her he is love with her and has been for a very long time. This makes things super awkward between them. They hear a loud knock and outside is Tad, the owner of the rental home, who is a minimalist who lives in the woods. He has a really weird conversation with Sam. Sam and Avery retire for the evening.

Sam is woken up in the middle of the night by a strange noise, it turns out Tad is making a smoothie, he seems to mean well but is increasingly becoming off-putting. Tad makes Sam work out like mad and Avery wakes up and meets them outside. She offers Tad coffee which sets him off on a tirade about poisoning his body and needing to stay in shape. He also talks about his wife Janet and her suffering from Rhabdomyolysis. It’s quite obvious he is a little unhinged when Avery inquires about the extra room she saw in the house as their friends will need a place to sleep as Sam and her have chosen different rooms.

Sam and Avery go for a small canoe ride but they run into Tad on the lake, Tad capsizes the canoe, and ruins Sam and Avery’s phones. Things continue to become even more odd when Tad insists on cooking dinner for the two friends after apologizing to Avery for the canoe tipping. At dinner Tad starts talking about Fit Free. This really upsets Avery who really gives him the business because she cannot believe he is trying to shill some program on them after the horrible way he has been treating them. 

Avery breaks into the odd room she saw Tad in earlier and everything turns to shit. She comes across a series of videos titled Fit Free with Tad and Jan, and becomes extremely disturbed. Tad starts to show his real intentions for Avery and Sam.

I won’t say much more about the film as it isn’t out until February but I thought it was an excellent film. The cinematography is absolutely stunning. The film’s soundtrack is extremely effective at creating a sense of confusion and tensity and the actors do an amazing job. There aren’t many characters in this film so their portrayal is super important at keeping our interest. Sam and Avery have an oddly strained friendship but I enjoy their interactions. Brady has such a captivating presence as Tad and I was constantly afraid for our protagonists because of how menacing he seems.  Fans of smaller budget thrillers are sure to be pleased by this feature.

A Perfect Host is available on demand and on DVD from Uncork’d Entertainment.

DISCLAIMER: This movie was sent to us by its PR company.

A superhero movie directed by Juan Piquer Simon, the same man who brought us Pieces and Slugs? Can the world be a more amazing place?

Once you realize that the spaceship in the beginning is just a repainted Cylon Raider model kit, you know what you’re getting in to. You’re getting into something great.

Supersonic is played by Jose Luis Ayestaran, a former Tarzan and bodybuilder who did stunts for Conan the Barbarian. In his human form of Paul, he’s Antonio Cantafora, who was in And God Said to Cain, Argento’s The Card Player and the incredibly titled Put Your Devil Into My Hell.

Once known as Kronos, Supersonic Man has been sent to our Earth to battle the evil Dr. Gulik (Cameron Mitchell!) and his gigantic robot. This is a movie that was made to rip off Superman, which seems like a noble purpose, but unlike the films that the Italian film factories churned out — I use that word lovingly! — to ape Mad Max or Dawn of the Dead, there weren’t a ton of superhero movies made. Which is kind of a shame.

Also, I realize that this movie is Spanish.

You can watch this movie on Tubi, complete with commentary from Rifftrax.

A follow-up to and spin-off of Suicide Squad — and the eighth film in the troubled DC Cinematic Universe — I was completely ready to write off Birds of Prey as a complete waste of time. But you know what? I loved it. I was thoroughly entertained by every moment of the film, as it took what worked in Suicide Squad — the wacky intros and pretty much everything with Harley Quinn — and amped it up while throwing away the boring stuff that didn’t.

It was written by Christina Hodson (Bumblebee) and directed by Cathy Yan, whose direction is solid and assured.

Harley Queen says that she’s escaped her old life after breaking up with the Joker, but she’s still enjoying the safety that being seen as his woman affords her. Yet after a night of drunken debauchery, she blows up the Ace Chemical plant where she gave herself over to her abusive ex-lover and declares herself a free agent. That, of course, brings down the wrath of every person she’s wronged over the past few years.

It also brings her into the orbit of Detective Renee Montoya (Rosie Perez), Dinah “Black Canary” Lance (Jurnee Smollett-Bell), child thief Cassandra Cain and Helena “Huntress” Bertinelli (Mary Elizabeth Winstead), who become kind of sort of friends with her as they battle Roman “Black Mask” Sionis (Ewan McGregor) who is trying to take over Gotham City from his nightclub.

There are also some great smaller roles for Chris Messina (who was awesome on Sharp Objects) as Mr. Zsasz and Ali Wong as Montoya’s ex, district attorney Ellen Yee.

There’s a MacGuffin of the diamond that contains all the money information for the wiped out Bertinelli family, but it really doesn’t matter. What you’re watching for are the kinetic fights, interplay between the girls and an over the top performance by McGregor. Everyone seems to be having the time of their lives here. It’s one of those movies that you walk away and think, “That must have been fun to make.”

For her part, Robie pushed for this movie and helped develop it for more than two years. It takes the Harley Quinn character well beyond where she started and lands her closer to where she fits into the DCU comics today. Speaking of comics, a younger me may have been upset that continuity isn’t strictly followed and that origins are slightly tweaked. Older me has much more pressing issues than being one of the Monitors of the multiverse and just enjoys watching fistfights and hijinks.

Watching this film reminds you how dreary and boring the rest of the DCU has been, while being thankful that Deadpool allowed executives to realize that comic book films don’t have to be PG-rated efforts.

There’s nothing like being pleasantly surprised by a movie. And I’m pleased to report that even after sleeping on this review overnight, I still find myself remembering plenty to love in this one.

For years, I wanted to see this movie. In 1978, my options were limited as it never played our drive-in, or if it did, I was six, so I couldn’t just drive out and see it. But I’d see stills of it in Starlog and think of how cool it looked. I mean, just take a glance at the poster!

It wasn’t until years later that I’d realize that my dreams of how awesome Laserblast could be are way better than the actual final product.

The one and only directorial effort of Michael Rae — I don’t count the Full Moon mixtape Aliens Gone Wild — this movie was produced by Charles Band, who in addition to producing so many movies that proclaim his love for puppets also directed movies like Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn and Trancers.

The alien effects are by longtime Band collaborator David Allan. As we discussed back in our review of The Dungeonmaster, Allen had an interesting life. He got his start on the movie Equinox and worked on Flesh Gordon, Laserblast, The Howling, the Puppet Master series, Willow and so much more. But after dying in 1999, a crazy story emerged.

Allen used to be married to a woman named Donita Woodruff, who learned that Allen had an ex-girlfriend named Valerie Taylor — who also used to be a man and had enough of a criminal record that Woodruff found evidence that she’d committed murder in 1979. As a result of that evidence, Taylor went to jail and Allen and Woodruff would eventually divorce, according to Woodruff’s book Deadly Masquerade: A True Story of Illicit Passion, Buried Secrets, and Murder.

But hey — let’s talk about Laserblast.

A green-skinned man is wandering the desert when two aliens emerge and blow him away, returning to their spaceship without the weapon and pendant he was wearing.

Non-sequitur time: Billy wakes up millions of miles away. He’s played by Kim Milford (Rock-a-Die-Baby, Wired to Kill), an angry teenager miffed that his mother is leaving to go on a trip to Acapulco. He goes to visit his girlfriend Kathy (Cheryl Rainbeaux Smith, who will forever be Lila Lee in Lemora, but she’s also Lavelle in Caged Heat, Cinderella in Cinderella, Mary in Massacre at Central High and so many more roles, as well as a drummer who played with a bastardized version of The Runaways and with Joan Jett; see du-Beat-e-o), but her insane grandfather Colonel Farley (Keenan Wynn!) is so bonkers that he just leaves.

Billy hates the town he lives in and everything and everyone in it, like Chuck Boran, Froggy (Eddie Deezen in his first role) and the cops (who include Dennis Burkley, one of my favorite sitcom stars as Cal on Sanford and Son; he’s also the biker Dozer in Mask).

Our hero — I guess, he’s kind of a spoiled jerk — wanders the desert and finds the laser cannon and pendant. Whoops — I guess aliens aren’t as smart as we think they are, leaving that kind of weaponry behind on our backwater planet.

Chuck tries to pick up Kathy, which means he has to pay. Billy uses his new firepower to basically nuke Chuck’s car from orbit.

This show of force puts government official Tony Craig (Gianni Russo, who was Carlo Rizzo in The Godfather films — well, the first two that matter — and was also the owner of a Las Vegas club and casino at one point. Once, a patron was bothering a female guest and Gianni intervened. The man broke a champagne bottle and stabbed the actor, who pulled his gun and shot the man twice in the head. While that was considered a justifiable homicide, it turned out that the dead man was a member of Pablo Escobar’s cartel. A hit was ordered on Russo, but canceled when the drug lord learned that Russo had been in The Godfather; good thing he never saw Laserblast) on the case. He works with the sheriff (Ron Masak, who was a commercial voiceover guy who is the first cousin of Family Ties and Tremors star Michael Gross and Saturday Night Live castmember Mary Gross — who I never realized were related) to find out what the hell is going on.

Billy has a growth on his chest, so Kathy makes him go visit Doctor Mellon (Roddy McDowall, who deserves better; he definitely deserves better than to have his name misspelled as McDowell in the credits), who removes a metal disc from Billy’s chest. For this act, he and his car are blown up real good by Billy, which is a mercy killing, removing McDowall from this shoddy film.

It turns out whenever Billy wears the pendant, he becomes a green-skinned killer. He wipes out the deputies and nearly kills Kathy before she escapes. He also gets Chuck and Froggy before going full-on alien and screaming like a petulant child as he destroys his hometown. He feels like me, yelling at people who won’t let him skate at Rite Aid with his crappy Valterra skateboard back in 1988.

The aliens return to kill him, but guess what? They forget the pendant and laser gun again! Aliens! What is your problem?

This is a movie that takes potshots at Star Wars, including blowing up a billboard advertising that film. I’m trying to think of an analogy, but instead, whenever something inferior takes a cheap shot at a much better thing, I’m going to say, “That’s like Laserblast making fun of Star Wars.”

If you watch this and wonder, “Where have I heard this music before?” perhaps you’ve seen Band’s film Auditions. Or Robot Holocaust. Or The House on Sorority Row.

It was released along with End of the World by the Irwin Yablans Company, the same folks who brought you the first thee Halloween films. There was talk of a sequel in 1988, but the money never showed up. However, the Band production Deadly Weapon is exactly the same story as Laserblast.

What else can you say about a science fiction movie shot over three weekends for basically no money on an abandoned 1920’s Chicago set somewhere in California? Just imagine if you’d seen this movie under its awesome Spanish title of El Rayo Destructor Del Planeta Desconocido (The Destructive Beam of the Unknown Planet) or Greek name O Ektelestis Me Tis Aktines Thanatou (The Performer with Her Death Ray), two incredible names that would make the disappointment of watching this hurt even worse!

You can watch this with or without Mystery Science Theater riffing on Tubi. You can also get the blu ray of the film directly from Full Moon.

Best of all, you can grab one of the aliens from the movie from Big Bad Toy Store. I kind of love that these exist!