A decade after her action film efforts, former pro wrestler Mimi Lesseos co-wrote another film, a movie in which she plays MJ, a career Marine who suddenly is no longer on active duty and must become part of the civilian world.

This could be a quiet study of PTSD and how the military doesn’t prepare its soldiers for anything other than killing. But instead, Mimi can’t get a man so she gets hypnotized into being able to become a sex kitten at the snap of someone’s fingers, so this feels like a Harry Novak movie plot yet never gets sleazy.

Also: Tom Sizemore is her love interest.

Also also: Connie Stevens is in this.

Also also also: Karen Black is in this?!?

The end credits play over a song called “Ms. Mimi” written and performed by Mimi. Sadly, this is her last movie and I honestly want more. So much more. I want a movie where she and Cynthia Rothrock fight for a good 78 minutes.

You can watch this on Tubi.

The sequel to Doc West — actually they are both edited from an Italian TV series — Triggerman finds Terence Hill back as Doc West and playing in a gambling tournament in the town of Holy Sands with the goal of using the profits to build a hospital. However, not every payer has the town’s best interests — or even good sportsmanship — on their minds.

In Germany, this was called Doc West – Nobody schlägt zurück (Doc West – Nobody Strikes Back) to cash in on Hill’s famous series of Nobody movies. As for star power, Paul Sorvino is back as the sheriff.

There are two of those players who demand the most attention. The first is the evil Dutchman (Mark Sivertsen, who often plays cops but is obviously not one in this film) and Debra “Tricky” Downing (Ornella Muti!). 

You shouldn’t expect the heights of Hill’s Italian western heyday in this movie, but his fans should make a meal of this. In fact, they should make his famous beans that he eats in every movie, starting back in They Call Me Trinity and continuing in so many of his films, including My Name Is Nobody.

On his web site, Hill was actually interviewed about all the beans!

Q: In They Call Me Trinity, we see you eating beans for the first time in a movie, then they became ‘famous’ and a feature in most of your films…

A: Yes, I had to eat a lot in this scene… By the way, I still like to eat beans today! The audience enjoyed that scene so much that I had to keep eating them in following movies…

Q: What are the ingredients of the original bean-dish?

A: It is spicy! For the sauce you need chili peppers, olive oil, tomato sauce, onions, salt and a lot of pepper! Fry the onions in olive oil in a saucepan, add the remaining ingredients and cook until the beans are tender.

Here’s the recipe from Food 52:

Terence Hill’s Beans

• 2 tablespoons olive oil
• 1 bunch scallions, white and green parts, sliced
• 5 garlic cloves, crushed lightly
• 6 pancetta rashers, sliced into ribbons
• 3 tablespoons tomato paste
• 2 cups red kidney beans
• 3 cups chicken stock or water to cover
• 1 tablespoon brown sugar
• 2 Poblano peppers, soaked, seeded and chopped roughly
• 3 sprigs thyme
• 1 bunch flatleaf parsley
• 1 tablespoon red wine vinegar
• 2 cups dry but fruity red wine
• salt and pepper

1. Soak the beans in water overnight or bring to a boil and allow to rest in water until it is cold, discarding water in either event.
2. In the olive oil, gently saute the scallions, the garlic, and add the pancetta, cooking over medium heat until the fat runs a little.
3. Add the tomato paste and stir until it has lightly caramelized. Add the drained beans, with enough chicken stock or water to cover them.
4. Add the sugar, the peppers and the herbs, stir, and cover.
5. Cook gently until the beans are fork-piercable tender, adding additional stock or water from time to time.
6. When barely tender add vinegar and red wine. Cook, with lid removed, until the wine has been absorbed.
7. Add freshly ground black pepper and salt to taste.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Scare Zone is open just three nights a year in the midst of a rundown strip mall, but it’s Oliver’s life’s goal to make it great. Each year, he works to create a scare team that makes the horror as real — and fun — as possible for the people who line up multiple times to take it all in.

But this year, someone is out to make it as real as possible. Deadly real.

The team that made this movie worked on attractions such as The Bourne Stuntacular, Shrek4D, Pirates4D!, Fear Factor Live and Waterworld: A Live Sea War Spectacular for Universal Studios Florida.

Director and writer Jon Binkowski had a great opportunity when making this movie: “The Universal Orlando Resort had built an awesome haunted maze right in the middle of one of their sound stages for Halloween Horror Nights. And, because they wanted to feature the attraction in a late November theme park convention, the maze was going to just sit there for 3 weeks doing nothing. So, my team and I leapt into action! The script practically wrote itself and it was a blast shooting for three crazy weeks on the Universal soundstage.”

Perhaps you’ve seen a similar setup in movies like Hell Fest and Haunt. Scare Zone came first, playing festivals, Hulu and being released on DVD in 2009. Now Terror Films has re-released it and it’s a fun little slasher that can boast of having an early role for Neil Brown Jr. from Straight Outta Compton.

I kind of like that Claire (Arian Waring Ash) is a goth girl who works at both a scare zone every year as well as a Christmas store. There’s a really disquieting scene where she shows off how she cuts her arm for one of the guys and it has a really sexual tone that may or may not be turning him on. She’s probably the best part of this other than the effects.

Scare Zone will be available on the Terror Films Channel on May 27 before its Digital and VOD release on June 3. For more information, visit the Scare Zone Facebook or the Terror Films website.

Santa Mira has dealt with body snatchers and latex masks that make kids’ faces explode into worms and bugs, but now it has a dire wolf problem. Actually, it has half a dire wolf problem, because a research facility has combined a human being with a dire wolf — where did they get a dire wolf in the first place? — and it has, of course, escaped to kill people.

When you have a gigantic wolf who gets blood and gore everywhere, it helps to have an OCD sheriff played by Maxwell Caulfield and Gil Gerard as a military man on the case. This was also known as Dinowolf, which may be a better title, but it’s not like I wouldn’t watch it if it had a worse one. I’m in full Fred Olen Ray overwatch mode.

There’s also a deputy pining over his ex but I’ll be honest, I watched this movie as I would have when I was a little kid: I was only here for werewolf-based slaughter of human beings. Good news: I got everything that I wanted.

Bonus points for ripping off the ending of the original The Thing to kill the practical effect werewolf, which looks ridiculous in all the best of ways.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Made as Little Fish, Big Pond, this is the last movie that Gregory Dark has made other than the documentary An Evening with Stephen Lynch. It follows the wanderings of Mr. Jack (Matthew Modine) and Sweet Stephen (Callum Blue) as they make their way through Los Angeles and discuss the nature of life.

And if you look at the cover and wonder, is Zach Galifianakis in this any more than five minutes?

No. He isn’t.

But hey, Adam Baldwin is pretty good as Tommy the cop and there’s a really strange dialogue on the history of porn, especially when you consider that director Gregory Dark had finally left the world of adult behind, but it doesn’t look down on anyone who needs pornography. But the mention of Traci Lords is interesting, seeing as how one of the movies damaged by her underage status was Dark’s New Wave Hookers.

There’s also the mystery of who chopped up a waitress, a Springer talk show with a child murderer, Mattew Modine tripping a child and singing a lot, a strange ending in limbo and a bum fight with a bottle stabbing. Not all of it holds up, but it definitely wasn’t the kind of movie I expected and I enjoyed watching it. It’s more of several actors all trying out characters, but it never gets too arty and indulgent.

Writer Robert Dean Klein has made a bunch of The Wrong… TV movies as well as a film we enjoyed last year, 6:45. Honestly, I’d love to speak to either him or Dark about this film and learn more, because I have so many questions. Maybe you catch watch it and ask some in the comments.

You can watch this on Tubi.

How much does this 2009 made film want to look like the 1988 original?

I think that the majority of the ingenuity went into shooting this on 35mm film and using composite effects, look-alike actors, some of the original costumes and the same puppets to recreate the look of that film. A lot of work when you think about a movie that no one but video store and late night cable mutants like, but hey — here you are on our site.

Also, I realize that this movie and the one before it are both junk, but look — Rick Sloane did all the Vice Academy movies and yes, I’ve watched all six of those movies* more than six times each. Whenever I watch one of his other films — like Blood Theater, The Visitants or this one — I always start to think they’re really not good and then I say, “But he did the Vice Academy where there’s a robot cop* and that one where Dolly Parton’s porn star cousin took over Los Angeles** or when The Commissioner and Miss Thelma get married*** or that time that The Commissioner’s son unleashed a virtual reality stripper supervillain or when all the girls went to jail***** so I’ll just be nice.”

So sure, there are some changes. People have internet sex instead of over the phone, so Rick Sloane is in the future with us. McCreedy has been locked in a psychiatric hospital after he blew up the film studio real good to destroy the hobgoblins. And everyone that survived has gone away to college.

If you get the DVD of this, the original cast pretty much makes fun of the actors who took over their roles.

Now, let’s get on to making Vice Academy 7. Rick, if you’re interested, give me a call or seeing as how we’re in the future, send me an e-mail.

You can watch this on Tubi.

*Vice Academy 2 of course.

**Vice Academy 3.

***Vice Academy 4.

****Vice Academy 5.

*****Vice Academy 6.