Vice Academy 6 (1998)

I don’t know what I’m more upset about: the fact that I have watched six Vice Academy movies or that they never made the seventh film.

Candy (Elizabeth Kaitan), Traci (Raelyn Saalman), the commissioner (John Henry Richardson), Devonshire (Jayne Hamil) and Irwin (Chad Gabbert) are all back, while Holly Lauren is playing a new character named Monique McClure, soap star Tamara Clatterbuck shows up and Nikki Fritz is in this as a character named Savvy. And yes, Ginger Lynn shows up as Holly. She really should have had a spin-off.

Rick Sloane made all six of these. This time, the plot has masked bikini bandits who get our heroines put in jail, because, well, the universe of these movies makes no sense. But who cares, right? I mean, let’s face it. The world kind of is in a horrible place right now and it’s really simple for me to wallow in depression and wondering when people will start being decent to one another. So if I decide to watch all the Vice Academy movies in one day — perhaps more than once — and yell the lines out at the screen like a moron, aren’t I engaging in a form of self-care?

People make fun of how bad the Police Academy movies are. Let me tell you, these movies make Mahoney and company look like the cast of an Altman movie by comparison. But I could care less. The world is poorer for the fact that USA Up All Night is no longer on the air, playing movies like this that are complete — and wonderful — wastes of time.

You can watch this on Tubi.

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