I found this movie while looking for Attack of the Killer Refrigerator and man, it’s wild. Steve and Eileen Bateman (Dave Simonds and Julia McNeal) have moved into a new place in New York City and as he works endless hours and she dreams of being on stage, the icebox in their kitchen shows them visions, whether they are future victims in Steve’s case or unborn children in Eileen’s.
Meanwhile, a plumber working on their apartment, Juan (Angel Caban), works on scenes with Eileen and warns her that the appliance is a gateway to Hell.
This took director Nicholas Jacobs — who also worked on The Adventures of Pete and Pete, the original MTV Jon Stewart show and You Wrote It, You Watch It — four years to make. He wrote it with Christopher Oldcorn and Phillip Dolin, who went on to direct B Movie.
It feels like everyone is working out their issues on film, because Eileen isn’t all that great of a wife, complaining about Steve no longer being fun, all while he’s killing himself to make a life for them. But she has her issues too, as her mother used to threaten to kill herself every single day and now that she’s been through therapy, she wants to reconnect with her daughter who can’t find the strength to forgive her.
Bowling Green, Kentucky in 1991. Some may have been drinking all weekend, but Doug Robertson and his crew were making a slasher film, ten years or more after the boom. But that — and the lack of budget — don’t matter. Because HauntedWeen has heart. And intestines. And blood. And, well, you get it.
Back in 1970, Eddie Burber wasn’t old enough to work in his family’s spookhouse. He responded to this by luring a girl into the place and impaling her, which caused the Burber’s to pack up and disappear. Twenty years later and Eddie’s mom, who kept him safe and free from the cops Bad Ronald mothering style has died of a heart attack. And the beloved haunted house is now owned by the Sigma Pi fraterity, who plan on opening it back up.
If you said out loud, “Bad idea,” you know how these movies work.
Sure, there’s nearly an hour of the frat boys and their relationship and financial problems, but you’re a grown up now. You know that you don’t need the orgasmic release of slasher murders immediately and you can pace yourself. Maybe this movie asks you to pace yourself a bit longer, but go with it. Because by the time we get there, little kids are watching college boys die and cheering along, unaware that the death is all real. Movies like this and The Funhouse have made me never want to go to a scare house or haunted dark ride because I know for sure that there are real murderers everywhere. I also avoid Tourist Traps. After all, young people disappear every year.
Alright, I started this movie because I thought it was shot on video, only to learn that over the seven years it took to make (1984 to 1991), it went from 8mm to 16mm, giving it a distorted feeling as stock doesn’t always match. This actually took so long that there’s a BLOOD SYMBOL 1984-1991 REST IN PEACE credit at the end. The sound isn’t synched either, as it was shot without audio and the script changes were never tracked, so they had to guess what everyone was saying. It only adds to how strange this all appears, along with the fact that creative differences caused lead actress Micheline Richard to leave in the middle of filming, leaving all of her remaining scenes to be shot far away with a double whose face is never clear.
This Canadian microbudget film by co-directors and writers Maurice Devereaux and Tony Morello (who went on to make Slashers), this has a simple story: an undead monk named Olam (Richard Labelle) can remain immortal if he drinks the blood of college student Tracy Walker (Micheline Richard).
Where it gets beyond expectations is in the way it was shot: strobing moments, strong and confident handheld camera work, point of view stalking right out of Carpenter and incredible editing. It’s beyond a movie started in high school and sure, the plot is thin, but the work to make it happen is rich. There’s even a hint of giallo as Olam stalks his prey complete with black gloves, overcoat and fedora.
There’s also tons of footage of Tracy just doing things like going to class and playing softball, yet that “you are there” style of shooting makes this feel so much different than any other slasher. Sure, it’s creators were learning as they go, but they were definitely on to something.
April 28: Alan Smithee — IMDB has 115 movies credited to the Alan Smithee pseudonym, which was created by the Directors Guild of America for use when a director doesn’t want their name on a movie.
Alex L’Hiboux (Adrian Paul, Highlander: The Series) — his last name is the owl, get it? — is a vigilante who is known as The Owl because he hasn’t slept since his wife and daughter were killed eight years ago. Thanks to a young girl named Lisa (Erika Flores), he takes on a case to find her father and reconnects with the policewoman who helped him on the night of the tragedy that changed his life, Danny Santerre (Patricia Charbonneau).
Originally broadcast as a television pilot on CBS from 10:45 p.m. to 11:45 p.m. on Saturday, August 3, 1991 — this is what we call burning off a pilot — this was a 48-minute episode. When it was released on home video, every single shot ever filmed was reused and padded to make it 84 minutes long. Director and writer Tom Holland asked for his name to be taken off the home video.
Brian Thomson, who plays the bartender who is The Owl’s frenemy, was the Night Slasher in Cobra, Bozworth in Fright Night 2(which Holland did not work on) and Shao Khan in Mortal Kombat: Annihilation. Oh yeah, speaking of people in Cannon movies, Rick Zumwalt — Bull Hurley from Over the Top, Joshua in Penitentiary III and Boom Boom in Rockula — also shows up. And holy Canadian crap, there’s Alan Scarfe, the dad from Cathy’s Curse!
You know why people liked the Punisher back before his logo became a Nazi flag for cowards? Because you could have empathy for what he’s been through. The Owl seems like such a jerk that it’s hard to ever feel anything for him.
EDITOR’S NOTE: These first appeared on the site on June 21, 2020 and June 22, 2020. I love both of these movies so much and am so excited that Vinegar Syndrome is releasing them.
Both movies are newly scanned and restored in 4K from a 35mm original camera negative and a 35mm archival positive. There are also interviews with Gianella and Gabriela Hassel, composer, Eugenio Castillo, Carlos East Jr. and Ernesto East, and special effects artist Jorge Farfán. You need to order this double movie set from Vinegar Syndrome.
Starting with this film, Rene Cardona III would put his own spin on horror films. This movie feels like someone stayed up all night mainlining every single Amityville unconnected sequel — trust me, as I have done this — and then decided to make their own cover version before the booze wore off.
Way back in 1889, a witch had taken over a small Mexican town, but an inquisitor was able to use a sacred amulet to force her into the flames and save his village. When he tosses all of her belongings — including a cursed doll — into a well, he never dreamed that a little girl would find it a hundred years later and put her family through hell.
This movie has it all. Bleeding walls, refrigerators teeming with rats and no small amount of snakes and spiders. It also has Julio, the affable teen who hopes to save the family and the babysitter that he is in love with. He’s played by Pedro Fernandez, who is more than an actor, as he’s a TV show host and singer.
This movie has a great scene where the kids play with a toy car — which has possessed their father’s car — and try to push it into the fireplace. These are the reasons why I love movies like this, the small moments that make me realize just how little reality can intrude within.
If this ever came out on blu ray — and it totally should, because the DVD versions are out of print and are prohibitively expensive — I will add my critic byline to it: “If you thought Ghosthouse was completely inane and ridiculous, have I got an awesome movie for you!”
PS: This pairs nicely with Cathy’s Curse so you get a real North/South exploitation exorcism adventure.
Vacaciones de Terror 2 (1991): I was wondering if I could love the sequel as much as the original and I am here to tell you that I love this movie more than is humanly possible. Vacaciones de Terror is fun. The sequel, that also has the added title Diabolical Birthday? It might be the best movie I’ve watched this year.
The niece’s boyfriend from the first vacation — Julio (Pedro Fernández — is in his own adventure, helping the daughter of horror movie producer Roberto Mondragon (Joaquin Cordero, who was in Dr. Satan and El Gato) celebrate her birthday. Of course, the witch from the first movie and comes back, gets split in half and become a lizard-like monster while possessing everyone through an evil birthday cake that bleeds rivers of blood.
What would make this movie better? What if Mexican pop star Tatiana shows up and has a musical number? Yes, this happens. It makes the movie so much better than it has any right to be.
Pedro Galindo III took over the director’s chair from Rene Cardona III and honestly, he knocks it way out of the park. I mean, the witch is oozing sores all over the place and launching fireballs at people at a kid’s birthday party on Halloween while a longhaired singer and another singer do battle against her.
The moment that Tatianna — playing Mayra Mondragon — sings the song “Chicos,” I lost my mind. Seriously, my dog is a chihuahua and I think he must have some instinctive Mexican heritage because every single time I play this song — and trust, I’ve watched this movie double digits in the last few weeks — he goes absolutely loco.
There’s also a moment where Studio Mondragon has a Cocktail poster up and you wonder, “In the strange Mexican universe that is this film, did Roberto Mondragon produce a Tom Cruise movie? Or is so unprofessional that he has a poster of a movie he didn’t make up in his studio?”
Have you ever watched Troll 2 and wished, “I wish someone made this in Spanish and added musical numbers, but also crazier special effects and strange Mexican sorcery and baby dolls?” Have I got amazing news for you. This movie has all of that and so much more.
I went into Mexican Horror Week with the hopes of enjoying some films. I have somehow discovered a movie that will stay with me for the rest of my life.
Loosely based on the 1946 novella “Vintage Season” by Henry Kuttner and C.L. Moore, this was the directing debut of David Twohy, who would go on to make The Arrival and Pitch Black. It stars Jeff Daniels and Ariana Richards as Ben and Hillary Willson. They’re renovating their home and coming to terms with loss, as Ben’s wife (and Hillary’s mother) has died, a fact that Ben’s stepfather Judge Caldwell (George Murdock) won’t forgive him for. Blaming the man for his daughter’s death, he takes Hillary away through the courts.
At the same time, a bus filled with travelers that have stamped passports of places through time shows up at his house, looking for a place to stay. These tourists show up to watch disasters at different points in time and have come to this place and time to watch a meteor decimate the town and most of its citizens. As Ben and Hillary tend to the survivors, he realizes that the tourists are still waiting for something else. That would be a gas main explosion that takes Hillary’s life.
What follows is a time travel journey to one day before with the hopes of saving the lives of everyone in the town. At one point, both versions of Ben work to save the life of Hillary without damaging reality.
Also known as Timescape, somehow I never knew that this movie existed. It’s interesting and Daniels makes for a good science fiction lead. I still can’t figure out why I never heard of it, because it’s totally the type of movie that I look for and I was constantly renting movies in 1991.
You can order this Unearthed Classics DVD from MVD.
Directed by Karen Shakhnazarov, who wrote this with Aleksandr Borodyansky, Tsareubiytsa is about a patient in an asylum named Timofyev (Malcolm McDowell). He claims to be Yakov Yurovsky, the assassin of Tsar Alexander II in 1881, as well as the killer of his grandson Tsar Nicholas II in 1918. This would be impossible, as it would make Timofyev an old man. Yet when the new head of the hospital, Dr. Smirnov (Oleg Yankovskiy), tries to cure Timofeyev of his beliefs, he ends up pulled into time itself, becoming the doomed Tsar Nicholas II as Timofeyev narrates the final days of the Russian Imperial Family.
Shakhnazarov also made Zerograd and if you enjoyed that, this has the same feeling of time and history being something that you can fall into and perhaps not escape. The film was shot simultaneously in English and Russian-language versions on separate 35mm negatives, so this is not as impenetrable as you would be led to believe.
McDowell is great in this, as it is before he was in every horror movie who could use him, becoming the modern Donald Pleasence up to taking over the role of Doctor Loomis for Rob Zombie. He said of this movie, “It was an amazing experience, really, and something I will never forget. It stands out of all the movies I’ve done as one of the most interesting. I knew by meeting Shakhnazarov I was going to work with him. He was a substantial artist and very passionate about his work. I just knew instantly I was going to work with him.”
Shakhnazarov had intended to make an adaption of Chekov’s Ward No. 6 and the research he did into Russian behavioral health inspired him and Borodyanskiy to create their own story of a Russian asylum haunted by the past. He said, “The subject of the assassination of the Tsar was banned absolutely and we knew very little about it. Any materials concerning this matter only began to appear only at the end of the perestroika period. When I read those materials, articles, books, I was fascinated by the story. The formerly closed archives were open and accessible. Of course, the story of the assassination of the royal family is very dramatic, it’s a tragedy and a very complex subject.”
The Deaf Crocodile and Seagull Films release of The Assassin of the Tsar has a new restoration from original 35mm elements by Mosfilm, a new commentary track by film writer and historian Samm Deighan, a new essay by film critic and historian Walter Chaw and new interviews with Malcolm McDowell and Shakhnazarov. Beyond the English language version, there’s also a Russian language version of the film with a different edit and score, complete with English subtitles. You can order this movie from Deaf Crocodile.
I thought The Song of the Sword was the only SOV LARP movie, but between Masters of Magic and this movie, I’ve discovered that just because horror made up the majority of camcorder-made movies, the sword and sorcery genre was big enough in the late 80s and early 90s for people to try and make some themselves.
Shot in Ellenton, Bradenton and Rubonia, Florida and populated by RPG enthusiasts and members of the Asolo State Theater, the Riverfront Theater in Bradenton and the Sarasota Medieval Fair, Way Bad Stone somehow takes $3,000 and turns it into medieval magic. There is quite literally a way bad stone in this and it’s bonded to a maiden named Arith. Now, a whole bunch of adventurers want her — and it — for their own ends.
Have you ever played D&D with bloodthirsty slasher movie fans all hyped up on Mountain Dew and pages of Playboy found in the woods? Then you have an idea of what this movie has for you, a non-stop series of gore-drenched battles punctuated by sensitive scenes of lovemaking soundtracked by the finest in nascent dungeonsynth.
There’s also a demon that’s kept hidden within the stone itself and man, she’s only in the movie for just a few moments but it really makes it all so much better.
A movie with spraying blood, organs outside the body, so much death that you may think Shakespeare wrote it and perhaps extras still wearing jeans, this is the shot on video movie that I dream of, a place where people keep renting Italian post-peplum Joe D’Amato movies and decide to make their own.
Directed by one-time-only creative Archie Waugh, who co-wrote this with Jan Kafka (who also performed some of the film’s soundtrack and wrote Ionopsis, another Florida-made low budget high concept sword and sorcery movie), Way Bad Stone is why I watch movies.
You can download this from Rarefilmm and learn more from the official Facebook page.
Doctor Wilbur Frank is so passionate about his job that he keeps on doing it even when he gets fired for performing experiments against nature. You have to respect that drive, I mean, other than the fact that he’s started kidnapping women to be the experimental subjects for a human growth serum that as far as I can tell only makes human beings pop out fully grown Xtro style. Well, again, human beings is kind of questionable, as whatever crawls out isn’t human and soon flips out and kills the unkind doctor before heading off into the institute where a cop and two of Wilbur’s assistants have to track it down and destroy it. Or, you know, they could just let it go but then we wouldn’t have a movie.
Director and writer Ron Switzer was a one and done contributor to the world of shot on video — well, 16mm in parts and as you know, if it came out on video and looked cheap, often people just lump it all in — and what an entry he gave us.
Between the droning bleats of the synth soundtrack that are punctuated by breathing, endless breathing there is also editing that at best can be described as inadequate; an eight-minute plus aerobics sequence; a setting that can include not just a mad scientist lab but also a parking garage, a gym, a theater and a chemical weapons company; the creature being named The Fiend; endless repetition of said Fiend wandering down the same hallway again and again; more of that deep breathing (the most Canadian deep breathing since Black Christmas); incredible lighting and shot composition that is soon followed by amateur errors like The Fiend literally walking into the camera and nobody cutting that from the film; The Fiend slow-motion drowning a woman and nobody stopping it because, well, who knows; and again, more wandering down that same hallway.
Either you’re going to love this as it gives you the same feeling of taking narcotics and not having to work for several days and just staring at the same scenes so much that you don’t know where the movie begins or ends or you’re going to hate it and feel like it’s not even a movie.
In the same way that Bikers versus the Undead exists for those that want more of the Dawn of the Deadend scenes of lawless motorcycle club members against zombies, Zombie Army says, “What if the army guys in Day of the Dead were a bit more heroic?”
Thanks to The Schlock Pit — one of my favorite sites — I learned that the writer of this movie — Roger Scearce — is actually its producer John Kalinowski, who had the actual military mission once of discovering if a former insane asylum could be repurposed as a military facility. While there, he saw that it was the perfect setting for a horror film and the army actually let him use the facility for The Zombie Army. One imagines plenty of the soldiers and the equipment they go into zombie combat with also came from Uncle Sam.
Director Betty Stapleford was actually a drama coach who had several students in the cast. She helped Kalinowski with their performances and to her surprise, she ended up being credited as the director.
The lessons here are that if you’re turning a sanitarium into a military base do a sweep for mad scientists and that an experimental battalion of women soldiers can die against zombies just as effectively as an old fashioned battalion of men and for 1991 that was progress.
There’s also a sex scene that is potentially still going on downstairs in my movie room weeks after I stopped watching this.
Also: If any viewer had spotted the continuity errors in this, they were able to win a Jeep. As far as I know, nobody has claimed this vehicle.
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