EDITOR’S NOTE: Hot Chili aired on USA Up All Night on July 21 and 22, 1989; September 1, March 8, June 29 and December 20, 1991; May 23, 1992; March 5 and June 5, 1993.

William Sachs may have made There Is No 13, The Incredible Melting Man, Van Nuys Blvd., Galaxina and Exterminator 2, but he may be better known for his ability to script doctor and save movies. Hot Chili is another film he directed and co-wrote with Joseph Golden, who is actually producer and Cannon boss Menahem Golan.

This may remind you of Hot Resort, which has an incredibly similar plot, but then again, teen sex comedies were big money makers and dear to the heart of Cannon, who had ridden a wave from Israel to Los Angeles on the profits of Lemon Popsicle.

Then again, you’d also be forgiven if you think this may be another film, seeing as it rips off a Lemon Popsicle sequel Private Popsicle, as well as the songs from Breakin’ and Rappin‘, because I guess if Cannon pays for something once, they just own it, a trick ad agencies and their clients have been trying to do for years.

Four guys — Ricky (Charlie Stratton, Munchies), Jason (Allan Kayser, Bubba from Mama’s Family), Arney (Joe Rubbo, The Last American Virgin) and Stanley (Chuck Hemingway, Neon Maniacs) — get summer jobs at a Mexican resort but are forbidden from having sex with the guests and therefore must have sex with the guests.

It’s a typical 80s teen sex movie, but what are the factors that may cause you to watch this?

Perhaps it’s the charms of Taaffe O’Connell, who you may recall was assaulted by a worm in one of the most repellant scenes in film history in Galaxy of Terror, a scene during which the one-ton prop nearly crushed her. Or could it be Victoria Barrett, who is in Cannon’s Hot Resort, Over the Brooklyn Bridge, Three Kinds of Heat and America 3000?

Or, if you’re like me, do you love when Ferdy Mayne and Robert Z’Dar are in movies you don’t expect them to be in?

I’m trying to figure out why so many Golam and Globus-related sex comedies have female music teachers who like to have sex. It’s a common theme in so many of them. What is not is everyone’s sexual hijinks being recorded and later shown during breakfast, including Jason’s parents, a senior swinging couple and a BDSM duo from Germany.

You can listen to The Cannon Canon episode for Hot Chili here.

I remember seeing the cover to Ghoulies at Prime Time Video and like some kind of snobbery moron, I never rented it. What was I thinking? Did I think it was a ripoff of Gremlins and not worth watching? I was half right, because it is, but it’s way better than it has any right to be.

I mean, does this movie know me? It starts with a Satanic ceremony in which Malcolm Graves (Michael Des Barres, once of the band Detective) tries to sacrifice a child. Instead, he kills his mother Anastasia (Victoria Catlin, Maniac Cop) and sends him away with an assistant named Wolfgang (Jack Nance). Twenty-five years later, the child grows up to be Jonathan (Peter Liapis) and he inherits his father’s estate.

He decides to invite his girlfriend Rebecca (Lisa Pelikan, Jennifer) and friends to explore the mansion. They find an entire basement of occult books and supplies, so they decide to perform a ritual. You know, as you do. They leave when nothing happens but as soon as they walk away, a small creature shows up and before you know it, the ghost of Malcolm has taken over Jonathan and he’s unleashing several ghoulies and the dwarves Grizzel and Greedigut (Tamara De Treaux, who played one of the creatures in Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark and was one of several actors who played E.T.).

As Malcolm begins to grow in power, all of their friends — Mike (Scott Thompson, Fast Times At Ridgemont High), Donna (Mariska Hargitay), Toad Boy (Ralph Seymour), Dick (Keith Joe Dick) and Eddie (David Dayan) — are all toast. Luckily, the man who saved him once before, Wolfgang, comes back and battles the evil sorcerer, everyone gets revived and they drive into the sunset with a ghoulie in the backseat.

Directed by Luca Bercovici (who also made Rockula for Cannon) and written by Jefery Levy, this was produced by Charles Band. It was actually started before Gremlins but there was a time when the production ran out of money, which is why it came out after. It was shot at the Wattles Mansion, near the park where Jim Wynorski shot The Lost Empire.

The real stars are the ghoulies, which were created by John Carl Buechler, who did effects for some of the coolest looking 80s and 90s horror films, including Prison, Dolls, The Eliminators and more. The ones that show up in this movie are fish ghoulie, cat ghoulie, rat ghoulie, flying ghoulie and clown doll ghoulie.

The MVD blu ray release of Ghoulies has the 2023 HD Restoration of the film presented in its original 1.85:1 aspect ratio along with archival 2015 audio commentary with director Luca Bercovici, a second archival 2016 audio commentary by Bercovici moderated by Jason Andreasen of Terror Transmission, an introduction by Bercovici, interviews with Bercovici, Ted Nicolau and Scott Thomson, a making of feature, a photo gallery, a trailer, 4 TV ads and a collectible poster. You can get it from MVD, who also has a 4K UHD version.

Here’s hoping they make all four films!

EDITOR’S NOTE: Nothing gives me greater joy than when our site gets mentioned on my favorite podcast, The Cannon Canon. There are a few movies they’ve covered that I haven’t, so it’s time to fix that.

Prince wanted to cast Vanity, leader of the girl group Vanity 6, in Purple Rain, but she left the group before filming began. Instead, she was signed by Barry Gordy to a four-movie contract.

She would be joined by Taimak, a martial artist who had never acted before. He’d studied under “The Black Dragon” Ron Van Clief, who choreographed the scenes where Taimak’s character Larry Green battles Sho’nuff The Shogun of Harlem during a showing of Enter the Dragon. Julius Carry, who had never done martial arts before, learned them as Taimak learned how to be in a movie.

The theater that they fight in was The Victory Theater on 42nd Street, owned by Martin Levine and Richard Brandt. It was the first theater on 42nd Street to show hardcore pornography. It’s a real theater now and lost to the clean-up of Times Square.

Leroy Green becomes Bruce Leeroy and must work on the ability to make his entire body glow with martial arts majesty. If he can find the other master who has the second part of a Bruce Lee medal, maybe he can find that power. He’s challenged by Sho’nuff and his men Crunch, Beast and Cyclone as well as arcade owner Eddie Arkadian (Christopher Murney) and his soldier Rock. They’ve kidnapped Laura Charles (Vanity) and won’t release her until she plays his girlfriend Angela Viracco (Faith Prince) on her video show.

Sho’nuff already has the glow and Leroy has to find his. He also has to learn how to catch bullets, but that seems a little bit easier.

Thanks to the DeBarge video for “Rhythm of the Night” that movie had a lot of people talking about it back in 1985. Gordy used all of his Motown artists to get people talking about it. The Last Dragon was directed by Michael Schultz, who also was behind Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Heart’s Club Band, Car Wash, Scavenger Hunt, Krush Groove and the Fat Boys video for “All You Can Eat.” Oh man! Also the TV movies Timestalkers, The Spirit comic book adaption and Disorderlies. It was written by Louis Venostra, who also wrote Bird On a Wire.

It’s also an early Ernie Reyes Jr. movie.

You can listen to The Cannon Canon episode of The Last Dragon here.

EDITOR’S NOTE: Thanks to Matthew Hale on Letterboxd, I’ve learned that there are alternate versions of this Mill Creek box set. For the sake of completeness and my obsessive compulsive disorder, here’s this missing movie.

A monkey. A girl who can talk to bugs. Donald Pleasence. All directed by Dario Argento. If you don’t immediately say to yourself, “I’m in,” you’re reading the wrong web site.

Within the first two minutes of the movie, you realize you’re watching an Argento film. A tourist misses her bus, somewhere in the Swiss countryside, before she is attacked by an unseen person and then beheaded.

Fast forward a bit and we catch Jennifer (Jennifer Connelly, Labyrinth, The Rocketeer) arriving at the Richard Wagner Academy for Girls — did I tell you this is an Argento movie? The head of the school, Frau Brückner (Dario Nicolodi, Argento’s wife (at the time) and mother to his daughter Aria, who also co-wrote Suspiria and appeared in Deep Red, Inferno, Tenebre and Opera amongst other films) already sets up an air of menace. Even her roommate offers no relief, telling Jennifer how much she wishes she could have sex with the heroine’s famous actor father. At this point, Jennifer relates a horrifying story about how her mother left her — it’s a moment of pure pain in a film that hasn’t led you to expect it. That’s because it’s a true story. The true story of how Dario Argento’s mother left his family.

Jennifer tends to sleepwalk, which leads her through the school and up to the roof, where she watches a student get murdered. She wakes up, falls and runs from the murderer, ending up in the woods where she’s rescued by Inga the chimp — again, did I mention this is an Argento film? Inga works for forensic entomologist John McGregor (Pleasence). Argento was inspired by the fact that insects are often used in crime investigation to learn how old a body is and worked that into this film. McGregor learns that Jennifer can talk to the bugs.

After returning to the school, things go from bad to worse. Jennifer’s roommate is murdered and a firefly leads our sleepwalking protagonist to a glove covered by Great Sarcophagus flies, which eat decaying human flesh, which can only mean that the killer is keeping his bodies — again, Argento.

At this point, Phenomena pays tribute to Carrie, with the other students making fun of her in regard to her love of bugs. She calls a swarm of flies into the building and collapses, which leads to Frau Brückner recommending her to a home for the criminally insane. Luckily, Jennifer runs to McGregor, who gives her a bug in a glass case that she can use to track the murderer. Again, you know who. The bug leads Jennifer to the same house we saw at the beginning of the film.

Meanwhile, McGregor is killed after Inga is locked outside. True fact: the chimpanzee who played Inga, Tanga, sounds like she was uncontrollable. She ran away for an entire evening of the shoot and later, nearly bit off one of Jennifer Connelly’s fingers.

Let me see if I can sum up the craziness that ensues: Jennifer calls her father’s lawyer for help, who ends up bringing Frau Brückner back into this mess, who tries to poison Jennifer and then knocks her out with a piece of wood,. She then KOs a cop before Jennifer escapes, going through a dungeon and a basement until she falls into a pool that is packed with maggot-ridden corpses. This is the point in the film where you may want to stop eating because it gets rather intense from here on out. As Jennifer escapes that watery tomb, she hears someone crying. That someone is Frau’s son, who was born from rape. Jennifer asks him why she thinks he’s a monster, to which he turns to face her and scares the fucking shit out of her. Seriously, it’s jolting — the kid has Patau Syndrome, a real chromosomal abnormality (it’s makeup in the film, but looks quite true to life). He then chases Jennifer into a motorboat, but at the last second, she calls a swarm of flies to attack him. He falls into the water and the boat explodes and he dies and…whew.

I know this film is 32 years old, but I’m going to put in some spoiler space here because what happens next is crazy.

Jennifer reaches the shore just as her father’s lawyer arrives. All well, all good and then, out of nowhere, Frau cuts the dude’s head clean off. Plus, she’s already killed the cop and she goes absolutely shithouse.

“He was diseased, but he was my son! And you have… Why didn’t I kill you before? I killed that no-good inspector and your professor friend, to protect him! And now… I’m gonna KILL YOU TO AVENGE HIM! Why don’t you call your INSECTS! GO ON! CALL! CALL!”

At this point, Inga the chimpanzee comes out of nowhere and kills Frau dead with a razor. Keep in mind, this is not just one cut. This is a simian that knows how to get murder business done.

Jennifer and Inga hug. Roll the credits.

Phenomena was the last Argento movie to get major distribution in the U.S., thanks (or no thanks) to New Line Cinema, which played it here as Creepers. This version is 33 minutes shorter than the original and has so many scenes so shuffled, it makes little or no sense. Also, unlike other Argento films, Goblin only have two songs in this, as modern bands like Iron Maiden and Motörhead are featured.

I love this movie. It makes little to no sense at numerous times, but you don’t walk into an Italian horror film expecting narrative structure. You hope to see some crazy gore, some interesting death scenes and maggots — all things that this film more than delivers. I’m not the only fan of this flick — the Japanese video game Clock Tower is an homage to this film, even featuring a heroine named Jennifer.

BONUS: We did a podcast all about this movie and you can hear it here:

EDITOR’S NOTE: Cinematic Void will be playing this movie on Thursday, Jan. 16 at 9:00 PM at The Plaza Theater in Atlanta, GA (tickets here) and January 25 at midnight at The Belcourt in Nashville, TN (tickets here). For more information, visit Cinematic Void.

A monkey. A girl who can talk to bugs. Donald Pleasence. All directed by Dario Argento. If you don’t immediately say to yourself, “I’m in,” you’re reading the wrong website.

Within the movie’s first two minutes, you realize you’re watching an Argento film. A tourist misses her bus somewhere in the Swiss countryside before she is attacked by an unseen person and then beheaded.

Fast forward a bit, and we catch Jennifer (Jennifer Connelly, Labyrinth, The Rocketeer) arriving at the Richard Wagner Academy for Girls — did I tell you this is an Argento movie? The head of the school, Frau Brückner (Dario Nicolodi, Argento’s wife (at the time) and mother to his daughter Aria, who also co-wrote Suspiria and appeared in Deep Red, Inferno, Tenebre and Opera, amongst other films), already sets up an air of menace. Even her roommate offers no relief, telling Jennifer how much she wishes she could have sex with the heroine’s famous actor father. At this point, Jennifer relates a horrifying story about how her mother left her — it’s a moment of pure pain in a film that hasn’t led you to expect it. That’s because it’s a true story. The true story of how Dario Argento’s mother left his family.

Jennifer tends to sleepwalk, which leads her through the school and up to the roof, where she watches a student get murdered. She wakes up, falls and runs from the murderer, ending up in the woods where she’s rescued by Inga the chimp — again, did I mention this is an Argento film? Inga works for forensic entomologist John McGregor (Pleasence). Argento was inspired by the fact that insects are often used in crime investigations to learn how old a body is and worked that into this film. McGregor knows that Jennifer can talk to the bugs.

After returning to the school, things go from bad to worse. Jennifer’s roommate is murdered, and a firefly leads our sleepwalking protagonist to a glove covered by Great Sarcophagus flies, which eat decaying human flesh, which can only mean that the killer is keeping his body — again, Argento.

At this point, Phenomena pays tribute to Carrie, with the other students making fun of her regarding her love of bugs. She calls a swarm of flies into the building, and it collapses, which leads to Frau Brückner recommending her to a home for the criminally insane. Luckily, Jennifer runs to McGregor, who gives her a bug in a glass case that she can use to track the murderer. Again, you know who. The bug leads Jennifer to the same house we saw at the film’s beginning.

Meanwhile, McGregor is killed after Inga is locked outside. True fact: the chimpanzee who played Inga, Tanga, sounds like she was uncontrollable. She ran away for an entire evening of the shoot and nearly bit off one of Jennifer Connelly’s fingers.

Let me see if I can sum up the craziness that ensues: Jennifer calls her father’s lawyer for help, who ends up bringing Frau Brückner back into this mess, who tries to poison Jennifer and then knocks her out with a piece of wood. She then KOs a cop before Jennifer escapes, going through a dungeon and a basement until she falls into a pool that is packed with maggot-ridden corpses. This is the point in the film where you may want to stop eating because it gets rather intense from here on out. As Jennifer escapes that watery tomb, she hears someone crying. That someone is Frau’s son, who was born from a rape. Jennifer asks him why she thinks he’s a monster, to which he turns to face her and scares the fucking shit out of her. Seriously, it’s jolting — the kid has Patau Syndrome, a real chromosomal abnormality (it’s makeup in the film, but looks quite true to life). He then chases Jennifer into a motorboat, but at the last second, she calls a swarm of flies to attack him. He falls into the water, and the boat explodes, and he dies, and…whew.

I know this film is 32 years old, but I will leave some spoiler space here because what happens next is crazy.

Jennifer reaches the shore just as her father’s lawyer arrives. All well, all good and then, out of nowhere, Frau cuts the dude’s head clean off. Plus, she’s already killed the cop, and she goes absolutely shithouse.

“He was diseased, but he was my son! And you have… Why didn’t I kill you before? I killed that no-good inspector and your professor friend to protect him! And now… I’m gonna KILL YOU TO AVENGE HIM! Why don’t you call your INSECTS! GO ON! CALL! CALL!”

At this point, Inga, the chimpanzee, comes out of nowhere and kills Frau with a razor. Keep in mind that this is not just one cut. This is a simian who knows how to get the murder business done.

Jennifer and Inga hug. Roll the credits.

Phenomena was the last Argento movie to get significant distribution in the U.S., thanks (or no thanks) to New Line Cinema, which played it here as Creepers. This version is 33 minutes shorter than the original and has so many scenes shuffled that it makes little or no sense. Also, unlike other Argento films, Goblin only has two songs in this, as modern bands like Iron Maiden and Motörhead are featured.

I love this movie. It makes little sense, but you don’t walk into an Italian horror film expecting narrative structure. You hope to see some crazy gore, some interesting death scenes and maggots — all things that this film more than delivers. I’m not the only fan of this flick — the Japanese video game Clock Tower is an homage to this film, even featuring a heroine named Jennifer.

BONUS: We did a podcast all about this movie, and you can hear it here:

BONUS BONUS: Here’s a drink recipe.

Inga and Jennifer

• 1/2 oz. 99 Bananas
• 3 oz. half and half
• 1/2 oz. coconut rum
• 1 1/2 oz. orange juice
• 1/2 tsp. grenadine

1. Pour all of the ingredients in a shaker and do your thing.
2. Pour into a glass and enjoy.

Vahset Kasirgasi (Brutal Storm) was directed and written by Kadir Akgün and is the story of Naide (Nur Incegül) and Cahide (Leyla Akin), two sisters who own the Gul Hotel in a beautiful tourist town in the South of Turkey. I don’t know what type of guests the sisters were expecting, but the loose moral fiber of their lodgers really starts to get to Naide and Cahide (more Naide, to be honest) and Hale, a nude sunbather, is shoved down the steps and impaled on a statue. To dispose of the body, the girls slice it up, cook it and serve it to the rest of the vacationers.

Soon enough, Nalan shows up looking for her dead friend and won’t give up. She gets a room just as more murders happen, like the always drunk and frequently loud Dilek, who make as lesbian pass at Naide who responds by stabbing her and Songül, who dares to be a single mother. Nalan gets kicked out for asking too many questions, but soon brings her friend Kaya as her fiancee and moves back in.

In case you didn’t guess, this movie is at times a shot for shot remake of It Happened at Nightmare Inn AKA A Candle For The Devil and I’m surprised as you that a 1970s Spanish horror movie by Eugenio Martin was remade in the 1980s in Turkey.

The other big star of this movie is the soundtrack which is literally a K-Tel Records best of your favorite horror soundtracks, lifting the disco theme from Friday the 13th Part 3, the drums from Cannibal Holocaust and pieces of Rambo: First Blood Part II, Suspiria, Deep Red and a dance party set to the theme from Ghostbusters.

You can watch this on YouTube.

EDITOR’S NOTE: In the Shadow of Kilimanjaro was on the CBS Late Movie on May 3 and September 26, 1988.

The only movie directed by producer Raju Patel, this is the story of Jack Ringtree (Timothy Bottoms) and Chris Tucker (John Rhys-Davies) in Namanga, Kenya as they try to figure out a tribe of baboons that are capturing and killing people.

The film has this in the credits: “The film you have just seen is a fictionalized account of a true incident which took place in Africa during the serious drought in 1984. The producers wish to make it known that not a single animal was mistreated during the making of this motion picture. On completion of filming the Baboons were rehabilitated to their natural surroundings. The Baboons were captured under the supervision of the Kenyan Ministry of Tourism and Wildlife from the areas where they had been a nuisance to the local population.”

This is kind of like a zombie movie except, you know, with baboons. I wish I could say it was more exciting and wonder how a movie filled with human eating baboons can be slow, but there you have it. At least it has Irene Miracle from Inferno and Night Train Murders in it.

EDITOR’S NOTE: The Legend of Billie Jean was on the CBS Late Movie on October 7, 1988.

This movie was a big deal when I was 13 and somehow, I never saw it.

Billie Jean Davy (Helen Slater) and her brother Binx (Christian Slater, the two stars are not related) spend their days in Corpus Christi, Texas swimming in the lake and riding on Binx’s Honda Elite Scooter. As they talk about running away someday to Vermont, you may wonder if they are boyfriend and girlfriend rather than brother and sister, but this movie never goes there. I’ve just seen too many Joe D’Amato movies.

The Davy family have to deal with some bullies led by Hubie Pyatt (Barry Tubb), who steals the scooter and does damage to it. Billie Jean demands money for the repairs from Hubie’s father (Richard Bradford), who ends up trying to use the money to get sex out of her. He ends up getting shot by Binx and the two go on the run, along with their friends Ophelia (Martha Gehman) and Putter (Yeardley Smith, who refused to cut her hair for this movie and is wearing a wig; she was also twenty when this was made and is playing a fourteen-year-old. She strapped her breasts down with Ace bandages to look younger.).

While the shop owner survives, this puts Lieutenant Ringwald (Peter Coyote) on the hunt for the escaped kids while they become folk heroes. Pyatt starts selling merch with Billie Jean on it after the kids become even more famous for kidnapping Lloyd (Keith Gordon), the son of a politician named Muldaur (Dean Stockwell). Kidnapped is what they want the world to think, as she wants to use her new fame to get back the money she’s owed and be forgiven for their crimes. She also decides to shave her head, wear combat boots and be a militant heroine to young girls all over Texas, kind of like Connie Burns without a guitar.

This movie was called Fair Is Fair and man, they sure say that a lot in this. I kind of love it though and for everyone who complains about movies that have strong female heroines, well, guess what? This did it back in 1985. It also has a theme song — “Invincible” by Pat Benatar — and a great soundtrack with Billy Idol, Divinyls and Wendy O. Williams.

Director Matthew Robbins has had an amazing career. In addition to writing The Sugarland Express, The Bingo Long Traveling All-Stars & Motor Kings and MacArthur, he wrote and directed Corvette Summer, Dragonslayer and *Batteries Not Included. He was an uncredited writer on THX-1138, Jaws and Close Encounters of the Third Kind, which he worked on as a second unit director. As if that wasn’t enough, he also wrote Mimic, Crimson Peak and Pinocchio for Guillermo del Toro and even wrote several Bollywood films, including 7 Khoon Maaf and Rangoon.

The script was written by Mark Rosenthal and Lawrence Conner, who also wrote Sometimes They Come Back, The Jewel of the Nile, The Beverly Hillbillies, Mighty Joe Young, Planet of the Apes, Mona Lisa Smile, Flicka, Mercury Rising and  Superman IV: The Quest for Peace together.

Colonel Crawford (David Campbell, Killer Workout) is the sadistic commander of Scare Camp, which shows civilians the survivalist skills they need. He’s made it as rough as the real thing, which is the worst thing that can happen to veteran Jason McKenna (Fritz Matthews, Deadly Prey) who has a flashback and sees everything happening as if he were back in Vietnam.

And now he’s broken out of Scare Camp and started killing people in the neighboring town.

Directed by David A. Prior, who co-wrote the movie with Jack Marino, this film makes you wonder why a camp like this would exist and why it would push people into feeling like a POW. Now that his friend has lost his mind, can Mitchell (Ted Prior) get him back to sanity?

If you’ve seen Deadly Prey, you’ve seen a similar story. Yet this is worth watching as well, as the Priors were able to get so much out of their small budgets and make rental choices for when Rambo was out of stock. This is a movie from a universe where a shotgun can knock a helicopter out of the sky and isn’t that the kind of place where we all wish that we could be from time to time?

The MVD Rewind Collection release of Kill Zone has a high definition 1080p presentation of film, as well as commentary by producer and co-writer Jack Marino moderated by Cereal At Midnight host Heath Holland. There’s also a making of, a photo gallery, a trailer and best of all, the original Vestron VHS version. You also get a poster and a limited edition slipcover. Get yours now from MVD.