CANNON MONTH: Three Kinds of Heat (1987)

Leslie Stevens created The Outer Limits, directed Esperanto language Incubus and wrote est: The Steersman Handbook, a book of New Age philosophy. He also said, “There is nothing wrong with being a hack writer. I would point with pride to the inspired hacking of Shakespeare, Michelangelo—you can go through a big list.”

This one stars Robert Ginty as U.S. Secret Agent Elliott Cromwell, who has been tasked with finding the mysterious terrorist known as Founder. He’s joined by NYC airport cop Terry O’Shea (Victoria Barrett, who is in Cannon’s Hot ResortHot Chili and America 3000) and Hong Kong cop Major Chan (Shakti, who married Stevens the year after this was made).

You also get a cast with Sylvester McCoy, the seventh Dr. Who, as well as Mary Tamm (who was Romana, a companion to the Tom Baker Dr. Who), Trevor Martin (who played Dr. Who on stage and man, this whole thing is seeming like a movie made inside the Tardis), Barry Foster (Hitchcock’s Frenzy), Edwin Craig (who says “What’s with that stupid grin?” before the Jack Nicholson Joker kills him in Tim Burton’s Batman) and probably the best reason to watch this movie, Samantha Fox, who if you were a teenager alive in 1987 you completely knew. Perhaps onanismically, which is not a word.

This movie is violently not good, despite hopes that Ginty would bring it upward in quality. Instead, you have three different uniformed cops running about and a movie that just crawls to its conclusion, which at least has some stuff blow up real good.

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