USA UP ALL NIGHT MONTH: Pinball Summer (1980)

EDITOR’S NOTE: Pinball Summer aired on USA Up All Night but I can’t find the date!

Also known as Pick-Up Summer and Flipper Girls in Germany, this Canadian film comes after the Crown International beach movies and before Porky’s. Most of the action revolves around a place called Pete’s, an arcade that is hosting a pinball competition, which also has a Miss Pinball pageant, which I really hope was a thing at some point.

Speaking of movies leading to something more, director George Mihalka and cinematographer Rodney Gibbons would make My Bloody Valentine* after this, a movie that is much better remembered than this teen summer comedy that revolves around disco, burger joints, amusement parks and hijinks between a biker gang and our heroes over the pinball trophy.

Film Ventures International bought this for America and changed the name, thinking pinball was dead. It did pretty well and people didn’t even notice that it was made in Quebec and not California. It’s a pretty innocent movie when it comes to teen comedies.

*Helene Udy, who played Sylvia in that classic slasher, Thomas Kovacs, who played Mike, and Carl Malotte, who played Dave, are all in Pinball Summer as well.

USA UP ALL NIGHT MONTH: Clan of the White Lotus (1980)

EDITOR’S NOTE: Clan of the White Lotus was on USA Up All Night on June 13, 1992.

It kind of blows my mind when a Shaw Brothers movie finds its way to USA Up All Night. Released as Fists of the White Lotus in the U.S., this is the sequel to Executioners from Shaolin (AKA Shaolin Executioners and Executioners of Death) and Abbot of Shaolin (AKA Shaolin Abbot and Slice of Death).

A white eyebrowed priest named Pai Mei battles brothers Hung Wei Ting (Gordon Liu) and Wu Ah Biu (King Lee King-Chu) and the fight costs him his life. However, Pai Met also had a brother, the monstrous White Lotus (Lo Lieh, who directed this movie) who shows up and murders Wu Ah Biu. Hung Wei Ting must study new techniques and learn how to fight a man who is stronger than anyone else in the world.

Perhaps the Tiger and Crane styles and more male-oriented martial arts can’t function against White Lotus. Hung Wei Ting is inspired by his sister-in-law Mei Ha (Kara Hui) to study her style, which she calls Embroidery Fist.

Now, two men who have lost their brothers to one another must finally face off in combat. This fight also involves acupuncture, which is almost the most awesome part of the Lau Kar Leung choreography but then I forgot that this has more nut punches than twp episodes of America’s Funniest Home Videos.

DRIVE-IN MOVIE CLASSICS MONTH: Mama Dracula (1980)

EDITOR’S NOTE: Thanks to Matthew Hale on Letterboxd, I’ve learned that there are alternate versions of this Mill Creek box set. For the sake of completeness and my obsessive compulsive disorder, here’s this missing movie.

Director Boris Szulzinger is best-known for the Tony Hedra-written science fiction cartoon for adults The Big Bang and Tarzan, Shame of the Jungle, the first foreign animated movie to be rated X in the United States.

A comedic retelling of the myth of Elizabeth Bathory, here known as Mama Dracula and played by Louise Fletcher. This is also written by Hedra, along with Szulzinger, Marc-Henri Wajnberg and Pierre Sterckx. Hedra was probably best known for his work with the National Lampoon, a series of parody magazines (Not the New York Times, Playboy: the Parody, The Irrational Inquirer and Not the Bible), being the editor-in-chief of Spy Magazine and co-creating, co-writing and co-producing Spitting Image. He was also Spinal Tap’s manager Ian Faith. The sad part of his legacy is that he was accused of molestation by his daughter Jessica. That said, the article about it that was published by The New York Times had no proof and was disputed by several people (and supported perhaps by just as many). It’s a stain on his career and life.

Back to the movie.

Professor Van Bloed (Jimmy Schuman) is brought to Transylvania as part of a special conference on blood research hosted by Countess Dracula. She also has twins who run a fashion boutique called Vamp. But the problem that Mama Dracula is having is that there aren’t enough virgin women to keep on bathing in their blood. She wants the scientist to create something to help her. He also falls for a local, Nancy Hawaii, who is played by Maria Schneider, who had survived the PTSD of making Last Tango In Paris, drug abuse and a suicide attempt to finally find some level of happiness by the early 80s, if being in movies with Klaus Kinski can be considered joy.

This movie has a bad reputation, one of it being barely watchable. I can confirm this yet I am amazed that somehow both Fletcher — an Oscar winner! —  and Schneider — a sex symbol on the comeback after walking out of her last big role in Caligula and probably that was the right call — are in it.

You can watch this on Tubi.

MILL CREEK CHILLING CLASSICS MONTH: Virus (1980)

EDITOR’S NOTE: Thanks to Matthew Hale on Letterboxd, I’ve learned that there are alternate versions of this Mill Creek box set. For the sake of completeness and my obsessive compulsive disorder, here’s this missing movie.

If you’re depressed and home alone with COVID-19, I advise you in no way should you watch the 1980 Japanese movie Fukkatsu no Hi (Day of Resurrection). Directed by Kinji Fukasaku (Battles Without Honor or Humanity, Message from Space, Battle Royale) and taken from the book by Sakyo Komatsu. Two of that writer’s other books, Japan Sinks and Sayonara Jupiter became the movies Submersion of Japan and Bye Bye Jupiter.

Fukasaku took a Japan that had already dealt with the loss of World War II and being the only country to ever be nuked — twice — and created post-apocalyptic disaster films that allowed them to see the rest of the world deal with terrors like they did. It’s exploitation but in some ways, it also had to feel cathartic.

As I sniffle on the couch today, the victim of a plague in its who knows how many mutations, I don’t feel all that good about watching a movie about how a plague destroys humanity.

In 1982, East German scientist Dr. Krause and a group of Americans exchange MM88, a deadly virus that amplifies any virus or bacteria that it meets. It had been stolen from the U.S. and as it is being returned, the place crashes and causes a pandemic called the Italian Flu. This in no way feels like our life for the past few years.

Seven months is all it takes for the world to end. As President Richardson (Glenn Ford) and Senator Barkley (Robert Vaughn) die, they realize that the only way America can live is to move its authority to the sub-zero Palmer Station in Antarctica, a place where the cold has kept the virus from infecting the scientists from many countries who live there.

In a few years, Palmer Station becomes a melting pot of sorts where women consensually sleep with as many men as possible to repopulate the Earth. The only problem is that the Automated Reaction System designed by General Garland (Henry Silva) is set to nuke anyone that attacks the U.S., even if it’s an earthquake, so their little hidden paradise is about to be blown into space. That said, it seems as if a cure for the virus has been found.

The women and children and several hundred of the men are sent to safety aboard an icebreaker while Dr. Yoshizumi (Masao Kusakari) and Major Carter (Bo Svenson) take a sub to shut down the ARS after taking the experimental vaccine. In Washington, D.C., Carter dies in the rubble of a bunker where the missile system is. Yoshizumi contacts the Nereid and tells them to try to save themselves. He does say that the vaccine seems to have worked, “If that still matters.” “At this point in time, life still matters,” the captain replies.

The bombs hit and this is where the movie has different versions. In America, the screen goes to black and then credits. But in Japan, well, they still have hope. Yoshizumi survives the blast and walks back to Antarctica, taking years to get there, but finding the survivors and true love. He then says, “Life is wonderful.”

As every disaster movie should, this has a huge cast. More than those we named, there’s also Sonny Chiba, Kensaku Morita, Toshiyuki Nagashima, George Kennedy as the leader of Palmer Station, Chuck Connors, Olivia Hussey, Isao Natsuyagi, Edward James Olmos, Stuart Gillard and more.

Producer Haruki Kadokawa was the heir to a publishing empire. He entered the film business in the mid 70s with some high-profile features and thought that this movie would break his company into the international film marketplace. That’s why so many American stars are in it and it was called Virus. It was a huge flop and only played limited dates before being sold directly to cable. It was the most expensive Japanese film at the time it was made (a record that Fukasaku may have already had with Message from Space).

My favorite part in the entire movie is when Japan is falling into sickness and naked people are still in a disco, dancing and throwing up. That’s how you do the end of it all. I would have loved another movie that has the four-year walk that Yoshizumi takes from America to Antarctica.

The director’s cut on Tubi is massive and comes in at two hours and thirty-six depressing minutes. Every moment, I wonder if my throat will close and this virus will end me, and then I remember that it’s supposedly weaker now and I’m on meds, but man, MM88 is rough.

If this is my epitaph, let it be known that it was Guns ‘n Roses that finally killed me.

You can watch this on Tubi.

CALUDRON FILMS 4K UHD RELEASE: City of the Living Dead (1980)

If you ever meet me in person, there’s a 90% chance I’ll be wearing a t-shirt of this movie. Therefore, I find it near impossible to be objective about this film. I love it too much. I can only share my adoration with you, dear reader.

Alternatively known as Paura Nella Città dei Morti Viventi (Fear in the City of the Walking Dead), Twilight of the DeadThe Gates of Hell and Ein Zombie hing am Glockenseil (A Zombie Hung on the Bell Rope), this is the first unofficial chapter in what has become known as Lucio Fulci’s Gates of Hell trilogy, along with The Beyond and The House by the Cemetery.

It all begins with a seance in the apartment of a medium, where Mary Woodhouse (Fulci heroine supreme Catriona MacColl, who appears in all three of the Gates of Hell movies) has a vision of Father Thomas as he commits suicide and opens the gates to the City of the Living Dead. That priest must be destroyed by All Saints Day or the dead will walk the Earth.

The images that she sees send her into a coma, which everyone else believes is her death. She’s buried as the police and journalist Peter Bell (Christopher George, Pieces) investigate her murder. As Peter visits her grave the next day, he hears her screams as the gravediggers discuss porn where a guy has sex so much that he dies (one of those guys is pornstar Michael Gaunt, who was in Barbara Broadcast and the other is an uncredited Perry Pirkanen from Cannibal Holocaust and Cannibal Ferox).

Peter uses a pickaxe (!) to smash his way into the grave, nearly killing her as he saves her life. This scene has been ripped off twice that I know of, once informing the scenes of the Bride in the coffin in Tarantino’s Kill Bill (also look for a scene that takes Rose’s tears of blood later in that movie) and in this year’s abysmal The Nun. Neither of these have the frightening power that Fulci pulls of in this scene or the painful closure at the end, where Mary screams and pants in the open air, her eyes filled with pure terror.

Once Mary recovers, she and Peter visit the medium who reveals the answers behind her visions. As that’s all going on, a weirdo kid named Bob (Anyone named Bob is a Fulci movie is one to be feared) finds a sex doll that somehow inflates itself before being scared off by a rotting fetus. And at Junie’s Lounge, a discussion of how weird Bob is leads to the mirror behind the bar shattering. As they say, strange things are afoot and this is just the start of Fulci’s descent into surrealism.

While all this is going on, psychologist Gerry (Carlo De Mejo, Manhattan Baby) is consulting Sandra (Janet Agren, Night of the SharksHands of Steel) about life and how she used to want to marry her father before he ran out on her family. Just then, his girlfriend Emily arrives and tells him that she’s on the way to try to help Bob. When she finds him, he’s crying on the floor and shoves her away, just as Father Thomas appears and smothers her to death with a hand full of maggots.

Obviously, if you think anything is going to make sense in this movie from here on out, you aren’t ready for this era Fulci. There are no filters left, just a demented Italian madman let loose in America with tons of fake blood, guts and film to burn.

One of my favorite scenes in the film is when Rose and Tommy (a young Michele Soavi ) are making out in his car and she thinks she hears a noise. It’s a total slasher moment that any other director would handle in a rote way. Instead, Fulci has the couple turn on the headlights and there is no joke or defusion of the tension. Instead, we see the priest hanging by the neck in front of them as Rose’s eyeballs bleed and she throws up her intestines (Daniela Doria is pretty much decimated by Fulci in every movie she did for him, including being knifed through the back of the head in the opening of The House by the Cemetery, has her chest and face sliced up brutally in The New York Ripper and asphyxiated in The Black Cat. I have no idea what he ever did to her, but you can read a great interview with her here. And yes, she did this scene by throwing up tripe and fake blood.). Then, Tommy’s head is ripped open.

Everyone suspects that Bob is behind the many disappearances in Dunwich, which totally isn’t going to keep Peter and Mary from heading there.

We’ve fully descended into Fulci world at this point. Bob is seeing visions of Father Thomas, a mortician gets bitten by a corpse when he tries to steal her jewelry, Emily’s zombie visits her little brother John-John, the same corpse that bit the mortician shows up in Sandra’s kitchen and broken glasses fly all over her house, spraying the room with blood. Meanwhile, Bob’s just trying to hide out and smoke a joint with Mr. Ross’s teenage daughter when the man comes in, nearly insane, and kills him with a drill press.

Yep. In any other movie, they’d tease death by drill or show you the moment before impact. Fulci revels in this scene and makes it last. Yes, that drill is going inside Bob’s head. And it’s coming out the other side, too.

Peter and Mary make their way to Dunwich, where they meet up with Gerry and Sandra. While they’re talking, a storm of maggots — oh that Fulci! — rains down on them. To top it off, Gerry gets a call that his dead girlfriend has risen from the grave and killed John-John’s parents. Sandra offers to take the kid to her apartment, but Emily is there and rips her scalp off before they save the boy just in time for a state of emergency to be declared.

Remember that bar at the beginning? Zombies invade it and kill everyone just as All Saints Day begins. Peter, Gerry and Mary (not Peter, Paul and Mary) go into the family tomb of Father Thomas, filled with skeletons, cobwebs and fog. Just to prove that this is 100% a Lucio Fulci film, Peter, who we’ve been led to believe is the main male hero, is killed when a zombie rips his brains out. Mary and Gerry battle Sandra and an army of zombies until they encounter the sinister priest, who makes Mary’s eyes bleed.

Before she can throw up her innards, Gerry stabs him with a cross and his guts fall out as he and the rest of the zombies go up in flames and become dust, with the Gates of Hell closed.

Mary and Gerry exit from the tomb to discover John-John and the police, but she soon screams as he comes near her and the film shatters to blackness. Wait — what just happened?

There are a ton of stories about the true ending of this movie. Some say John-John was supposed to be a zombie and the negative of the original recording was destroyed by a lab. I’ve also heard that the editor spilled coffee on the footage, forcing Fulci to improvise. And then some stories claim Fulci changed his mind about the end after the shooting was complete and just went with this. Interestingly, the Danish version of the film ends with a dark move across the graveyard and this text: “The soul that pines for eternity shall outspan death, you dweller of the twilight void come Dunwich.”

Trivia note: The movie Uncle Sam ends exactly the same way with the only exception being a title card that says, “For Lucio.”

Who knows how it ends! Who knows what the hell is going on for long stretches of this movie! It doesn’t matter! As Fulci would say, this is an absolute movie of images, a triumph of style (and gore) over substance.

The first time I saw this film was a third generation — or worse — dub on Hart Fischer’s American Horrors ROKU channel. As much as I love having 4K versions of things on blu ray, this is just about a movie made for the fuzzy quality of an old VHS tape. And yet here I am discussing the 4K release!

Obviously, this was written by Dardano Sacchetti, who was behind so many of Fulci’s scripts, like ZombiManhattan Baby and Conquest, as well as so many other awesome movies like Thunder and Demons.

This disc is filled with extras, including new audio commentary with film historian Samm Deighan, archival audio commentary with film historians Troy Howarth and Nathaniel Thompson — which is what I listened to on my first spin through this disc and as you can imagine from these talents, it’s absolutely packed with information, including the deep cut credits and the differences between the Italian and English dubs — as well as two other archival commentaries by actress Catriona MacColl moderated by Jay Slater and actor Giovanni Lombardo Radice moderated by Calum Waddell. There are also interviews with Massimo Antonello Geleng and Radice; Q&A sessions with Venantino Venantini and Ruggero Deodato, Carlo De Mejo, MacColl and Fabio Frizzi; a featurette on The Meat Munching Movies of Gino De Rossi and A Trip Through Bonaventure Cemetery; a Catriona Maccoll video intro from 2001; an image gallery; even more archival extras and surprises — as promised and I know there are Easter Eggs but I haven’t found any — all with a double-sided wrap with artwork by Matthew Therrien.

You can order City of the Living Dead from MVD or Cauldron Films.

Island Claws (1980)

ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Jennifer Upton is an American (non-werewolf) writer/editor in London. She currently works as a freelance ghostwriter of personal memoirs and writes for several blogs on topics as diverse as film history, punk rock, women’s issues, and international politics. For links to her work, please visit https://www.jennuptonwriter.com or send her a Tweet @Jennxldn

Island Claws was made in the post-Jaws era – a time when killer animal movies were all the rage – but features a storyline, characters, and giant creature right out of ‘50s sci-fi films like Tarantula or The Deadly Mantis

The movie opens with lots of lingering shots of hundreds of crabs wading in the ocean against a backdrop of sunshine and easy listening jazz. Right away, I was hooked. 

The island’s residents are absolutely the kind of people I’d like to drink with. We have the Irish Moody (Robert Lansing doing a decent accent), the young, handsome Pete (Steve Hanks), and a bunch of fishermen who basically hang out at Moody’s bar run by the lovely Rosie (Nita Talbot), 

Jan Raines (Jo McDonnel) is a young, plucky photojournalist, sent to the National Marine Biology Institute conducting experiments on crabs using growth hormones to help solve world hunger.  There she meets Pete and the two begin dating. 

Because Jan’s father Frank (Dick Callinan) is the owner of the adjacent nuclear power station that has recently experienced a significant spill, Moody is skeptical of Jan. Moody had a long-time friendship with Jan’s father as well, but Moody is not telling Pete that Frank was the one who killed Jan’s parents by drinking and driving. 

While all this is happening, people are now being attacked and killed by (normal-sized) crabs everywhere and Pete discovers a giant shell, foreshadowing what’s to come. One guy dies in a fire in his makeshift school bus home. Many residents attribute this to a boatload of Haitian immigrants who entered the country illegally. They take up pitchforks, but Moody calms them down. Then, the big crab shows up and all hell breaks loose. 

Robert Lansing really brings it home in this movie. Especially in the scene where he finds his beloved old dog at death’s door after having been attacked (offscreen) by the crabs. 

I love that an older actor like Lansing gets to ride the monster’s giant claw in this film like a horse. John Agar should have done that in Tarantula, but I don’t think that movie had the budget that this one did. 

Made on the old Salty the Seal sets in Key Biscayne, the giant crab, built by Glen Robinson, cost a million bucks to create. It really does look good for its time, although it didn’t function as expected, necessitating a lot of dark medium shots and close-ups. The eye movements are especially cool. 

First-time Director Hernan Cardenas, who never made another movie, does a pretty good job overall. It’s a bit of a slow burn, with a pace like a Made-for-TV-Movie of the same era but it doesn’t make it any less enjoyable. The Scorpion Releasing Blu-ray print is beautiful, but if you can’t track that down, you can watch an old grainy VHS rip on YouTube. 

And here’s that jazzy soundtrack I referred to in the opening paragraph for your listening pleasure: 

CBS LATE MOVIE MONTH: The Awakening (1980)

EDITOR’S NOTE: The Awakening was on the CBS Late Movie on October 31, 1986 and February 25, 1987.

Based on Bram Stoker’s The Jewel of Seven Stars — which was also filmed as an episode of Mystery and Imagination as “The Curse of the Mummy,” Hammer’s Blood from the Mummy’s Tomb and the 90s movie Bram Stoker’s The Mummy — this movie places Matthew Corbeck (Charlton Heston), his pregnant wife Anne (Jill Townsend) and his assistant Jane Turner (Susannah York) in Egypt searching for the tomb of Queen Kara. One could argue that the most exploring Matthew is doing is between the thighs of Jane, but there you go.

When you see a sign that says “Do Not Approach the Nameless One Lest Your Soul Be Withered,” you may want to turn back. Nope, Matthew goes in hard — again, much like with his assistant — while his wife goes into labor. She’s dropped off at a hospital so he can get back to digging and their stillborn child comes back to life once he unearths and opens a sarcophagus.

Eighteen years later and that daughter, Margaret (Stephanie Zimbalist) is looking for her father, who is now married to Jane and still obsessed with the mummy that he found. It’s being destroyed by bacteria, so he gets it sent to England so that he can save it. Of course, the mummy queen wants to be reincarnated inside his daughter, who starts to believe that she really is Queen Kara.

Directed by Mike Newell (who went on to direct Four Weddings and a Funeral and Donnie Brasco) and written by Clive Exton, Chris Bryant and Allan Scott, The Awakening is a big dumb mess, but I kind of like that sometimes. It was recut by Monte Hellman after Newell lost final cut.

The best thing I can say is that this was shot in Egypt with actual locations.

CBS LATE MOVIE MONTH: The Ivory Ape (1980)

EDITOR’S NOTE: The Ivory Ape was on the CBS Late Movie on May 25, 1984 and May 10 and July 24, 1985.

Rankin/Bass had some experience working with Japanese filmmakers after making King Kong Escapes, the Desi Arnaz Jr. feature Marco, Rudolph and Frosty’s Christmas in JulyWilly McBean and His Magic MachineThe Bushido Blade (which has Mako, Sonny Chiba, James Earl Jones, Richard Boone and Laura Gemser all in the same movie), The Bermuda Depths and The Last Dinosaur there.

The last two movies we mentioned and this one were made with Tsuburaya Productions, the company that brought us Ultraman.

While this debuted on ABC on April 18, 1980, an extended version would later play theaters in Japan.

A rare albino gorilla has escaped somewhere in Bermuda, and the hunter who caught it once before (Jack Palance!) is set to destroy it. Can Steven Keats (Bronson’s son-in-law in Death Wish) and Céline Lomez (originally going to play Linda Thorson’s part in Curtains) stop him in time?

Kotani’s work, including The Bushido Blade, is a fascinating blend of Western and Eastern elements. The film, which stars Richard Boone leading sailors versus samurais under the command of Toshirô Mifune, is a unique exploration of cultural dynamics. If that’s not enough to pique your interest, the fact that Laura Gemser is in it might. Kotani’s diverse filmography also includes Pinku redi no katsudoshashin, a feature-length movie about Mie and Keiko Masuda, two idol singers whose Japanese success was imported to the shores of the U.S. Their song “Kiss in the Dark” reached #37 in America, making them the first Japanese act to chart here since Kyu Sakamoto’s “Sukiyaki” in 1961. Sadly, their Sid and Marty Krofft developed series – The Pink Lady and Jeff – only lasted six weeks on NBC during Fred Silverman’s disastrous year of 1980, which also unleashed the Supertrain on an uncaring television audience. Kotani’s other works include The Last Dinosaur and The Bermuda Depths.

There’s something about the 70s TV movies from Rankin/Bass that’s truly unique. Each one carries a certain level of darkness and palpable sadness, making them the perfect choice for a snowy day in 1981 when all you wanted to do was stay under the covers. They still possess that same strange magic today, evoking a sense of nostalgia and appreciation for the historical significance of these films.

You can watch this on YouTube.

THE FILMS OF BRIAN DE PALMA: Dressed to Kill (1980)

EDITOR’S NOTE: This has been on the site a few times, but you can’t do a week of Brian De Palma movies and not have this as part of it.

Let’s get this out of the way: Brian De Palma, much like Giallo, was heavily influenced by Hitchcock. In fact, when an interviewer asked Hitchcock if he saw the film as an homage, he replied, “You mean fromage.” That said — Hitchcock died three months before the film was released, so that story could be apocryphal (it’s been said that the famous director made this comment to either a reporter or John Landis).

What is true is the interview that De Palma did after Dressed to Kill (Rolling Stone, October 16, 1980).  The director claimed, “My style is very different from Hitchcock’s. I am dealing with surrealistic, erotic imagery. Hitchcock never got into that too much. Psycho is basically about a heist. A girl steals money for her boyfriend so they can get married. Dressed to Kill is about a woman’s secret erotic life. If anything, Dressed to Kill has more of a Buñuel feeling.”

However, I’d argue that this film has more in common with Giallo than anything the “Master of Suspense” directly created. That’s because—to agree with DePalma above—this film does not exist in our reality. Much like Argento’s The Bird with the Crystal Plumage, it exists in its dream reality, where the way we perceive time can shift and change based on the storyteller’s whims.

Yet what of DePalma being dismissive of Argento in interviews, claiming that while he saw the director as having talent, he’d only seen one of his films? Or should we believe his ex-muse/wife Nancy Allen, who claims that when she told DePalma that she was auditioning for Argento’s Inferno, he said, “Oh, he’s goooood.”

Contrast that with this very simple fact (and spoilers ahead, for those of you who worry about that sort of thing, but face facts, this movie is 37 years old): DePalma rips off one of Hitchcock’s best tricks from Psycho: he kills his main character off early in the film, forcing us to suddenly choose who we see as the new lead, placing the killer several steps ahead of not just our protagonists, but the audience itself.

And yet there are so many other giallo staples within this film: fashion is at the forefront, with a fetishistic devotion to gloves, dresses, spiked high heels, and lingerie being displayed and removed and lying in piles all over an apartment or doctor’s office. This is the kind of film that makes you stop and notice an outfit, such as what Kate Miller (Angie Dickinson, Big Bad Mama, TV’s Police Woman) wears to the Metropolitan Museum of Art or the blue coat that Liz Blake (Nancy Allen, CarrieStrange Invaders) wears to meet Dr. Robert Elliot (Michael Caine, how could we pick any movie other than Jaws 4: The Revenge).

Then there are the music cues from Pino Donaggio, who also scored Don’t Look Now, Fulci’s The Black Cat, and Argento’s Do You Like Hitchcock? The film not only looks the part, but it has intense sound, too.

We also have characters trying to prove their innocence, investigating ahead of the police. Or the son of the murder victim who wants to discover why his mother really died. Or her doctor, who has an insane patient named Bobbi who has stolen his straight razor and demands that she give him more time than the rest of her patients. All of them could be the killer. Giallo gives us no assurances that just because we see someone as the protagonist, there’s no reason they couldn’t also be the antagonist.

Let’s toss in a little moral ambiguity here, too. Kate is a woman who is bored with her life. She’s raised a son and seen her marriage lose any hope of sexual frisson. Liz is a prostitute — no slut shaming here, she’s a strong businesswoman more than anything  — but she’s also a practiced liar, as a scene shows her deftly manipulating several people via phone to get the money she needs to buy stock based off an insider tip she receives from a client. Dr. Elliot is obviously attracted to Kate but claims that his marriage prevents him from having sex with her. Yet it seems like he has secrets beyond informing the police of the threats of his obviously unbalanced patient, Bobbi. And then there’s Peter, Kate’s son, who has no issues using his surveillance equipment to spy on the police or Liz. If this character seems the most sympathetic, remember that he is the closest to the heart of DePalma, whose mother once asked him to follow and record his father to prove that he was cheating on her.

Finally, we have the color palette of Bava’s takes on giallo mixed with extreme zooms, split screens and attention to the eyes of our characters. The blood cannot be redder.

The film opens with Kate in the shower. While the producers asked Dickinson to claim that it’s her body, it’s really Victoria Johnson (Grizzly) as a body double. Her husband comes into the shower to make love to her, but she finds it robotic and not the passion she feels she deserves. Directly after, she tells Dr. Elliot that she’s frustrated and attempts to seduce him, but he rejects her.

More depressed than before the appointment started, she heads to the Metropolitan Museum of Art. Despite being surrounded by inspiration, such as the statue of Diana by Saint-Guadens, West Interior by Alex Katz and Reclining Nude by Tom Palmore (a tip of the hat to the amazing I Talk You Bored blog for an insightful take on the film and the research as to what each work of art is), she absentmindedly writes entries in her schedule. Planning the holiday meal gets her through the mindlessness of her life, flowing penmanship reminding her to “pick up turkey” instead of slowing down and appreciating not just the artwork around her but the people. There’s a young couple in lust if not love. There’s a young family. And then, a man with dark glasses catches her eye before brazenly sitting down next to her.

We are used to male characters chasing after female characters who aren’t defined by anything other than being sex objects. Instead, we have Kate pursuing the man, making the first, second, and even third moves until we realize that she was just following the man’s breadcrumbs.

Of note here is that color plays an essential role in the scene, as do expected manners. Kate is a wife and mother. She is who society expects to have virtue, and she is clad in all white, but her intentions are anything but pure. She finally has what she wants—the thrilling sex life that she may have only read about in trashy paperbacks.

This scene is a master class in pacing and movement. Imagine, if you will, the words on the page: Kate follows a mystery man through the museum. And yet, those are just eight words. We get nearly nine minutes of wordless pursuit, yet it never grows dull.

Finally, Kate follows the man out of the museum, but she loses him until she looks up and sees her glove dangled from a taxi. But blink, and you miss death in the background as Bobbi blurs past the camera.

When we catch up with Kate, it’s hours for her but seconds for us because this movie is a dream universe. She wakes up in bed with a stranger. There’s a gorgeous camera move here as DePalma moves the camera backward, an inverse of how a lesser director would have treated this scene. Instead of showing the two lovers tumbling through the apartment and removing clothes at every turn, we see Kate reassembling herself to move from her fantasy world to reality and toward her real world, which will soon become a nightmare. The camera slides slowly backward as she gets dressed, remembering via split-screen and sly smile how she doesn’t even remember where her panties have gone. She’s still wearing white, but under it all, she’s bare, her garments lost in a strange man’s house. A man whose name she doesn’t even know.

So now, as she emerges from realizing her sexual fantasies, she feels that she must make sense of it. She wants to write a note to say goodbye but doesn’t want to overthink it. Maybe she doesn’t even want it to happen again. And then she learns more about the man. It starts with his name and then becomes more than she ever wished to find out: his health report shows that he has multiple STDs.

Kate leaves the apartment and makes her way to the elevator, where she tries to avoid anyone’s eyes. In the background, we see an ominous red light, ala Bava. Bobbi—death and punishment for sin—is coming.

The death scene — I hold fast to my claim that The New York Ripper is close to this film but made by a director who doesn’t have the sense to cut away from violence — DePalma stages his version of the shower scene. But more than Psycho, we’ve come to identify with Kate. She’s a woman fast approaching middle age who wants a thrill, and yet, she’s punished by disease and death. She didn’t deserve this, and her eyes pleaded not to the killer as much as they did to the camera. And to us.

Here’s where we have to wonder aloud about DePalma’s long-discussed misogyny. This film was protested by women’s groups, who stated in this leaflet that “FROM THE INSIDIOUS COMBINATION OF VIOLENCE AND SEXUALITY IN ITS PROMOTIONAL MATERIAL TO SCENE AFTER SCENE OF WOMEN RAPED, KILLED, OR NEARLY KILLED, DRESSED TO KILL IS A MASTER WORK OF MISOGYNY.” Is DePalma guilty of the slasher film trope of “you fuck, and you die?” Maybe. Perhaps if she had remembered her marriage, at best, she wouldn’t be here. At worst, she wouldn’t have forgotten her ring in the stranger’s apartment and would have survived.

The way I see it, the death of Kate allows us to make the transition from past protagonist to new heroine, as the doors open post-murder to reveal a grisly scene to Liz and her john. The older man runs while Liz reaches out to Kate, their eyes meeting and fingers nearly touching. Kate’s white purity has been decimated by the razor slashes of Bobbi, the killer. As their transference is almost complete, Liz notices Bobbi in the mirror. Remember that we’re in a dream state? Time completely stops here, so we get an extreme zoom of both the mirror and Liz’s face. She escapes just in time, grasping the murder weapon and standing in the hallway, blood on her hands as a woman screams in the background, figuring her for the killer.

At this point, the film switches its protagonist. Unlike the films of David Lynch, like Mulholland Drive, this transference is not a changed version of the main character, but her exact opposite. Kate wore white, was older, and had a marriage and child, yet she slowly came to feel like an object to the men in her life. Liz wore black, was young and single, but was wise to the games of sex and power. She isn’t manipulated, turning the tables on men by using their needs for personal gain. Kate may have seen sexual fantasy as her greatest need, but for Liz, it’s just a means to an end.

Kate and Liz are as different as can be. For example, Kate goes to the museum to find inspiration. Liz only sees art as commerce, and she spends plenty of time explaining to Peter how much money she could make by acquiring a painting.

Dr. Elliott discovers a message from Bobbi on his answering machine (these machines and the narrative devices they enable must seem quaint and perhaps even anachronistic to today’s moviegoers). Once, Bobbi was his patient, but he refused to sign the paperwork for their (as the pronoun hasn’t been defined, so I’ll use they/their) sex change. In fact, Dr. Elliot has gone so far as to convince Bobbi’s new doctor that they are a danger to herself and others.

The police, however, have arrested Liz, and Detective Marino (Dennis Franz, TV’s Hill Street Blues and NYPD Blue) doesn’t believe a word she has to say. There’s a great moment here where Liz goes from wide-eyed ingenue to knowing cynic in the face of Marino’s misogynistic tone. Meanwhile, Kate’s son Peter (Keith Gordon, Jaws 2Christine) uses his listening devices in the station to learn more about his mother’s death than the police are willing to let on.

He begins tracking Liz, obsessively noting the times that she comes and goes from her apartment. He’s doing the same to Elliot’s office. But he’s not the only one tracking people. Bobbi has been stalking Liz, including a sequence where our heroine goes from being chased by a gang of black men to talking with an unbelieving police officer to Peter saving her from Bobbi with a spray of mace.

Because Peter has seen Bobbi also emerging from Dr. Elliott’s office, so he joins forces with Liz to discover who she is. That means that Liz uses her chief weapon — sex — to distract the doctor long enough to discover Bobbi’s real name and information. We learn that Liz’s mental sex game is as strong as her physical attributes here — she says that she must be good to be paid as well as she is. She knows precisely the fantasy Dr. Elliott wants to hear. But perhaps she also knows the fantasy that the mainly male slasher/giallo viewer wants: the woman submitting to the killer holding the knife.

Peter watches outside in the rain when a tall blonde pulls him away. Has he been taken by Bobbi? No — Liz returns to have sex with Dr. Elliott; he has been replaced by the killer. Bobbi lifts the razor as Liz helplessly crosses her arms in front of her face for protection. But at the last minute, the blonde who grabbed Peter outside is revealed to be a police officer, as she shoots Bobbi through the glass. That shattered pane also breaks Bobbi’s illusion and mask, revealing that Dr. Elliott is the man under the makeup and clothes.

The killer is arrested and goes into an insane asylum; Dr. Levy explains that while the Bobbi side of his personality wanted to be free, the Dr. Elliott side would not allow them to become a true woman. Therefore, whenever a woman broke through and aroused the male side of the persona, the female side would emerge and kill the offending female.

Inside the mental asylum, a buxom nurse attends to the male patients. The room is bathed in blue light, a cool lighting scheme that echoes Mario Bava’s films. The movie has moved from a dream version of reality to a pure dream sequence. It intrigues me that Carrie and Dressed to Kill both start with a shower scene and end with a dream threat to the surviving secondary heroine.

Within the asylum, Dr. Elliott overcomes the nurse and slowly, methodically, folds her clothing over her nude form. As he begins to either dress in her clothes — or worse, molest her dead body — the camera slowly moves upward as we realize that there is a gallery of other patients all watching and screaming. This scene reminds me of the gallery of residents watching a doctor perform surgery, yet inverted (have you caught this theme yet?) and perverted.

Bobbi emerges once again, and because she is dead, she cannot be stopped. Liz is bare and helpless in the shower, and nothing can protect her from being slashed and sliced and murdered — except that none of this is real. She awakens, screaming in bed, and Peter rushes in to protect her. And for the first time in the film (again, thanks to I Talk You Bored for noticing), she is wearing white.

Many find this a hard movie to stomach due to its misogyny. I’ll see you that and tell you it’s a misanthropic film that presents all of humanity, male and female, negatively. The men in this film are actually treated the way women usually are in films, as either silent sex objects (Warren Lockman), sexless enemies (Kate’s husband), shrill harpies that need to be defeated (Detective Marino) or sexless best friends who provide the hero with the tools they need to save the day (Peter). Seriously, in another film, one would think Peter would have a sexual interest in Liz, but despite her double entendres and come-ons, he remains more concerned with schedules and numbers and evidence.

Bobbi, the combination of male and female, comes across as a puritan punisher of females who benefit from sex, either emotionally or monetarily. Or perhaps they are just destroying the sex objects that they know that the male side of their brain will never allow them to become. Interestingly, Bobbi’s voice doesn’t come from Michael Caine but from De Palma regular William Finley (The Phantom of Phantom of the Paradise).

What else makes this a giallo? The police seem either unwilling to help at best or ineffectual at worst until they tie things up neatly at the end. And the conclusion, when the hand emerges not from the doorway — but the medicine cabinet — to slash Liz echoes the more fantastic films in the genre, such as SuspiriaAll the Colors of the Dark and Stagefright, where reality just ceases to exist. At the end of all three films, the heroine has confronted the fantastic and may never be the same.

In the first, Suzy narrowly escapes from hell on earth and emerges laughing in the rain. Is she happy that she survived? Has she achieved a break from reality? Is she breaking the fourth wall and laughing at how insane the film has become, pleased that the torture is finally over?

In the final scene of All the Colors of the Dark, the fantasy world is all a ruse, yet our heroine, Jane, is now trapped in the dream world. She can tell what will happen before it does; she knows that her husband has both slept with and killed her sister, but he has saved her from a fate worse than death. Yet all she can do is shout, “I’m scared of not being myself anymore. Help me!”

In Stagefright, the final girl walks out of the scene and out of reality as she defeats the killer. She has transcended being an actress to removing herself from fiction.

In all these films, the characters are not unchanged by their experiences with the dream world. In Dressed to Kill, the final dream sequence renders Liz truly frightened for the first time in the film. It’s the only time we see her as vulnerable — even when faced with an entire gang of criminals on the subway, she retains her edge. As Peter reaches out to comfort her — the only sexless male in the film and not just a sublimated one like Dr. Elliott — she recoils from his touch before giving in to his protective embrace.

In the same way, the film changes us. It has thrilled us, made us think, or even made us angry. True cinema—true art, really—makes us confront what we find most uncomfortable. Sure, we can deride and decry many of this film’s choices, but the fact that I’ve devoted days of writing and over three thousand words to it speaks to its potency. Thanks for reading if you’ve made it this far.

PS—I’ve often discussed—in person and on podcasts—that I experienced so many R-rated movies for the first time via Mad Magazine. I’m delighted I could find the Mort Drucker illustration for his skewering of Dressed to Kill.

Junesploitation: Human Beasts (1980)

June 16: Junesploitation’s topic of the day — as suggested by F This Movie— is yakuza! We’re excited to tackle a different genre every day, so check back and see what’s next.

Director, writer and star Paul Naschy in a Yakuza film. Yes, Naschy co-produced this and The Beast and the Magic Sword with Japanese filmmakers and here, he plays Bruno Rivera, a cold blooded killer currently working for a Japanese crime family.

After a plan is made to steal diamonds along with his lover Meiko (Eiko Nagashima) and her brother, he goes wild and kills everyone in the car that has the precious stones and screws over his girl and her family. Perhaps you don’t understand how the Japanese honor system works, Bruno, because these people will never stop hunting you, particularly when you break a woman’s heart and kill her brother.

Bruno doesn’t walk away in one piece and barely makes it to the home of Dr. Don Simon (Lautaro Murúa), who offers to nurse him back to health until he can deal with whatever honor he needs to repay. This being a Paul Naschy movie, the house that his character is recuperating in also has two obscenely gorgeous daughters living there, Monica (Silvia Aguilar) and Alicia (Azucena Hernandez).

As he comes back to the land of the living, Bruno exists barely in our world, being visited by a ghost and hearing the human sounds of pigs as they are slaughtered. That’s because this town is obsessed with a gigantic bacchanalian celebration in which each person makes a stew and a pig-based dish.

Sure, seems strange so far, but it gets wilder inside the very same house used for Blue Eyes of the Broken Doll. Meiko has found where Bruno lives thanks to a weirdo who eventually gets messily masticated by swine as Naschy makes sweet, sweet and sweaty love; the black maid loves being beaten by Dr. Simon; rocking chairs rock all by themselves and a black-gloved killer is turning this into a giallo by stalking people in POV and murdering them with a hook. And what is wrong with Teresa (Julia Saly), who has been confined to her room?

Also: Paul Naschy blows up a woman with a grenade.

As if you didn’t guess, Naschy gets love scenes with both Aguilar and Hernández. If you’re going to write and direct your own weird riff on how horrible people are and how close pigs are to us, well, go for it.

Between the diamond theft and the fact that this movie stitches together a Yakuza storyline with pretty much the same exact story as the aforementioned Blue Eyes of the Broken Doll, this feels like the most Jess Franco or Bruno Mattei take on a Naschy film. You have to love that Bruno’s character development is that he decides to stop killing people and ruining lives once he starts sleeping with even hotter looking women, only to have that be the death of him. Oh yeah, spoiler.

Also known as El carnaval de las bestias (The Beast’s Carnival), a title that makes even more sense once a gathering of maniacs shows up in costume to go hog wild on some stem, call each other all manner of off-color insults sure to offend people and then pull out one woman’s breasts.

Naschy gets it all in: nearly giallo — the killer is never revealed — and also a crime movie, a rumination on man’s inhumanity to beasts and his fellow men, sexy hijinks and an ending which makes every single minute of watching this worthwhile. Impossible to put a genre tag on, kind of ramshackle but completely wonderful. You did it again, Paul.

You can watch this on Tubi.