Based on one of The Love List’s 2024 Best Unproduced Romance Scripts, this film — directed by Stephen S. Campanelli (a camera operator on everything from The Vindicator and Vanilla Sky to several of Clint Eastwood’s films) and written by Kaitlin Reilly and Dorian Keyes — How to Lose a Popularity Contest is about Ellie (Sara Waisglass), who is about to graduate and go to a major college, leaving behind her horrible high school years and the nickname she hates, Max, given to her by Nate (Chase Hudson). This being a teen romantic comedy, she may just fall in love with him before then.

Somehow, that involves a class president contest, playing flip cup and dealing with parents who don’t understand who their teens really are. Plus, you get characters like Streaker Dupont (Aiden Howard), who gets his first name because he likes to get naked constantly.

This is a cute teen romance that’s all about learning that people you don’t like or look down on can be very close to you. There are some nice lessons in here, and Tubi has been really getting into making films like this. Sure, I’m old and way out of high school, but I get it. 

You can watch this on Tubi.

Editor’s note: Cinematic Void will be playing this movie tonight at 8:00 PM at The Frida Cinema in Santa Ana, CA. You can get tickets here. It’s also playing on January 31 at 7:00 PM at The Sie Film Center in Denver. You can get tickets here. For more information, visit Cinematic Void.

Also known as Ecology of Crime, Chain Reaction, Carnage, Twitch of the Death Nerve and Blood Bath, Last House on the Left – Part II and New House on the Left, this is the most violent and nihilistic of all of Mario Bava’s films. It started as a story idea so that Bava could work with Laura Betti (Hatchet for the Honeymoon) again, with the original titles of Stench of Flesh and Thus We Do Live to Be Evil, but had a virtual litany of writers get involved, including producer Giuseppe Zaccariello, Filippo Ottoni, Sergio Canevari, Dardano Sacchetti (who co-wrote all of Fulci’s best films, like Zombi 2 and House by the Cemetery) and Franco Barberi.

Bava was devoted to the film, and its low budget meant he would also serve as his own cinematographer, often creating innovative tracking shots with a toy wagon and relying on in-camera tricks to make the location seem much more expansive than it was.

There are thirteen murders in the film — many of which are incredibly gory, thanks to the skill of Carlo Rambaldi — as several characters vie to inherit the titular bay. The film divides critics and fans: some see it as pure gore, while others see it as the nuanced films Bava is known for. For example, Christopher Lee went on record saying he found the movie revolting.

It also gave rise to the slasher genre, as every film that follows owes it a debt of gory gratitude. And some owe it plenty more, in particular Friday the 13th Part 2, which copies two of the kills in this film shot-for-shot.

The story is all over the place and has a mix of dark humor and pure meanness at its core, starting with Filippo Dontai strangling his wife, Countess Federica, before being stabbed and killed scant seconds later. His corpse is dragged to the bay, where his murder goes undiscovered as detectives begin their investigation into the death of the Countess.

That’s when we meet Frank (Chris Avram, Enter the Devil), a real estate agent, and his girlfriend Laura, who plot to take over the bay. They were working with Donati to kill his wife and now need his signature, but don’t realize that he is dead.

Meanwhile, four teenagers hear about the murders and break into the mansion. One of them, Brunhilda, skinny dips in the bay until the dead corpse of Donati surfaces and touches her. She screams and runs toward the mansion, only to be killed by an unseen murderer holding a billhook. That killer uses that same weapon to kill her boyfriend, Bobby, then he impales Duke and Denise together with a spear while they’re having sex. Here’s a good lesson that I constantly yell: don’t fuck in the woods, don’t fuck in a haunted house, don’t fuck when a killer is about.

The killer turns out to be the Countess’s illegitimate son, Simon, who is wiping out everyone under Frank’s orders. Renata (Claudine Auger, Thunderball) shows up to throw a wrench in the work, as she’s the Countess’ real daughter. Along with her husband, Albert, she begins to make plans to kill her half-brother.

What follows is a near Grand Guignol of back-and-forth murder: Frank attacks Renata, who turns the tables and stabs him with a knife. Paolo, the entomologist who lives on the estate grounds, sees the killing but is strangled by Albert before he can call the police, and his wife is decapitated with an axe. Laura shows up, but Simon strangles her to death before Albert kills him. Frank shows up again, but Albert takes him out, leaving Renata as the sole heir.

They return home to await being awarded the money, but as they get to the front door, their children shoot them with a shotgun, thinking they are playing with their parents. Bored with the game and how long their parents have been playing dead, the kids run out to play another game, an ending that can be viewed as pure comedy or a sad comment on humanity. Maybe both.

Bay of Blood isn’t the art of past Bava films, but it’s not trash. It’s also been claimed to have been Bava’s favorite film that he directed. And Dario Argento adores the movie so much that he literally stole a print of it from a theater!

Roman Polanski’s first English-language film, this is part of his “Apartment Trilogy”, followed by Rosemary’s Baby and The Tenant. Strange for the time, it casts a female as a killer — there’s that spoiler — as Carol Ledoux (Catherine Deneuve) starts to melt down as she stays all alone in the small living quarters of her sister Helen (Yvonne Furneaux).

Polanski and co-writer Gerard Brach based this on a friend they knew and someone who they later learned had schizophrenia. Carol’s big issue is dealing with the rudeness of her sister’s married lover, Michael (Ian Hendry), and their lovemaking (this is the first movie with the sound of a female orgasm to play in England). Or maybe it’s every man who crosses her path. Or perhaps it’s every single person and thing she encounters that has sent her over the edge.

Is this even a real story? Seeing as how the camera zooms away from Carol’s eye and back into it at the end, are we instead seeing how she sees the world? How are we to take the photo at the end with the child looking so troubled? Has the father of the two sisters doomed Carol to be repulsed by all men?

Gorgeous black and white, overwhelming darkness and a skinned rabbit — that was supposed to be a real one before the crew talked Polanski out of it. A nightmare, but one worth seeking.

Editor’s note: Cinematic Void will be playing this movie tonight on Friday, January 18 at 8:00 PM at The Frida Cinema in Santa Ana, CA. It’s free and you can read about the film here. For more information, visit Cinematic Void.

A Hyena In the Safe might have the best-looking fashions I’ve ever seen in a giallo. Oh man, glitter eyeshadow, furs, striped suits, insane patterns — I’m in love.

Four thieves — Klaus from Germany, Albert (Sandro Pizzochero, So Sweet, So Dead) from France, Juan from Spain and Carina from Tangiers — have met up in what they think is an isolated castle to split up some diamonds. That said, their dead boss’s wife, Anna, is throwing a party. Complicating matters further, all five keys must be used at the same time to open the vault, so everyone has to keep getting along, even when Albert’s new girlfriend, Jeanine, annoys everyone. And when people start getting killed, how will anyone get their reward?

Cesare Canevari is probably better known for his scummy side, with movies like A Man for Emmanuelle, Killing of the Flesh and The Gestapo’s Last Orgy on his resume.

I kind of love these pre-Argento gialli that haven’t started aping his style and instead are all over the place in their influences. This is the type of movie I wish had shown up in Vinegar Syndrome’s last Forgotten Gialli set, because I want more people to see it. It’s got the brightest colors, the furriest upholstery, the most theatrical makeup and a soundtrack that swings. It is, well, everything.

A decade after they were in middle school together, Rowan (Ryan de Villiers) takes on Mag (Jane de Wet) as his roommate, and her obsession with him grows. She may claim she’s a hag — and the film has characters remind her that this is outdated terminology — but she’s really just an old-fashioned, obsessed with him.

Directed and written by Sam Wineman (Queer for Fear: The History of Queer Horror), this begins with Rowan struggling to get over the death of his fiancée and struggling to work every day in a coffee shop in the lobby of an office building. He and his boss, Opal (Adore Delano), try to get noticed by the music executives who come in and out for a drink, but they barely get noticed. Or even worse, when Rowan does get seen by one of them, it’s just for a casting couch down low situation.

Before Rowan came out, he dated women. One of them was Mag, and she feels like that was the only time that she was loved. Now, she is back in his life, in what she compares to Will & Grace. Soon, she’s worked her way in, butting heads with his best friend K.C. (Anja Taljaard) and alienating everyone else in his life.

I actually loved this. Sure, it’s kinda sorta Single White Female, except that Mag writes insane songs about love being a shell, gets into a MMF threesome with Rowan and his personal trainer when they’re drunk, and oh yeah, puts his electric toothbrush into her lady business and jills off with it, knowing he’s going to be scrubbing his bicuspids with it that night. This has a go for it sexual energy that’s great; it’s not afraid to go there. And go further.

Also: Never eat apples if you’re staying with your best gay friend and his stalker ex-straight hag.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Directed and written by Jezar Riches, Fan of Mine inverts what you expect: diva singer Yari Iris (Angeleah Speights) is getting her life back together after a tragedy and going on tour. She decides to meet one of her fans, Mackenzie Sunday (Sylena Rai), and they end up having a real connection. Except that, well, this is a Tubi movie, so Yari quickly becomes friends with the fan and her family.

This even sets up a sequel, just like so many Tubi movies. Yari has her mother trapped in the house and a dead husband. Instead of getting herself together and recording her new music, she decides to get as close as she can to Mackenzie’s family, eventually inviting herself in and even taking care of everything, such as stopping a school bully. When she decides to get with Mackenzie’s husband, even he comes around to the fact that she’s lost it. But when a star is used to getting anything they want, there’s no way that she’s going to take no from anyone, even a family.

I love it when people post horrible reviews of Tubi movies. It’s like drinking Malort and thinking you’re getting champagne. No, you’re getting Malort. It’ll get you drunk, real drunk, but you’d better be ready for everything that entails, like having your mouth taste like eating from an ashtray would improve the taste. Similarly, making light of Tubi movies for their bad scripts, ridiculous moments, and poor acting is an indictment of you, not the films you watched.

You can watch this on Tubi.