CANNON MONTH 3: The Devil’s Wedding Night (1973)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

Supposedly, The Devil’s Wedding Night (AKA Full Moon of the Virgins) was all Mark Damon’s idea. After being in House of Usher, Damon had moved to Italy and appeared in movies like Black Sabbath and Johnny Yuma.

Perhaps this idea was the start of his producing career, which was more successful than his acting job. Damon was planning on selling the movie an American production company. Luigi Batzella (Nude for SatanThe Beast In Heat) was picked to direct, but most people believe that Joe D’Amato stepped in and finished the film.

I’m a firm believer in this theory because there’s a moment near the end of this movie where an otherworldly Countess Dolingen De Vries rises from a bathtub of blood and fog and writhes near nude on the screen and somehow going beyond the confines of the screen to destroy my mind. I generally try my best not to turn reviews of movies with atrractive women into male gaze spectacles, but Rosalba Neri is absoutely iconic in this moment, a perfect scene that is never discussed nearly enough.

There’s also a magic vampire ring of the Nibelungen, which is gigantic costume jewelery and therefore better than any Hollywood baubles, village girls with sacred amulets of Pazuzu (yes, really), five virgins getting sacrificed all at once in an express line of bloodletting magic, three different twist endings in a row, tripped out Dr. Who looking tunnel moments, D’Amato billing himself as Michael Holloway and going absolutely wlld capturing every inch of womanly curves and an incredible setting, the Castello Piccolomini Balsorano, the same place Lady FrankensteinBloody Pit of HorrorCrypt of the VampireThe Lickerish Quartet, The Blade MasterSister EmanuelleThe Bloodsucker Leads the DanceThe Reincarnation of Isabel, Farfallon, Pensiero d’amoreLady Barbara7 Golden Women Against Two 07: Treasure HuntC’è un fantasma nel mio lettoBaby Love and Put Your Devil Into My Hell were all shot at.

Plus, Xiro Papas, the monster of Frankenstein 80, plays a vampiric giant.

If you’re a fan of the harder side of Hammer, then allow this female vampire to obsess you as well.

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: I Hate My Body (1974)

Frank Henenlotter’s Sexy Shockers (September 1 – 7) We all know Frank Hennenlotter as the director of the Basket Case films, Bad Biology, Brain Damage, and Frankenhooker, but he’s also a cinematic curator of the crass! An academic of the pathetic! A steward of sleaze! A sexton of the sexual and the Sexy Shocker series is his curio cabinet of crudity. Skin and sin are mixed together in these homegrown oddities, South American rediscoveries, and Eurohorror almost-classics. Your mind may recoil with erotic revulsion at the sights contained within these films, so choose wisely!

All hail León Klimovsky, who directed this absolutely deranged movie and co-wrote it with Solly Wolodarsky. “The brain of a man… the body of a woman… the sexual horror story of our time!” That isn’t all of it. Man, this starts wild and gets even stranger.

An engineer named Ernesto (Manuel de Blas) is out on the town with his friend and some ladies when he gets injured in a car accident. He wakes up in a hospital room where former Nazi doctor Adolfo Berger (Narciso Ibáñez Menta) takes his brain and places it into the body of Leda (Alexandra Bastedo, The Blood Spattered Bride), a gorgeous woman. The doctor wants to keep him/her prisoner in a hospital room so that he can prove that he’s the first person to perfect this surgery.

What’s wild about this movie is that while Leda gets to live out some of the fantasies of Ernesto — yes, there is a lesbian scene, there’s also a scene where he whips Adolfo’s wife and nurse Lydia (Gemma Cuervo) and she likes it — but the truth is that this sets itself up as sleaze and then, just as you’re savoring the sin, it reminds you of the male gaze, how women are mistreated in the world a half century after this movie and that most people are no closer to understanding gender change now.

Ernesto also wakes up to a world where his wife Mary (Maria Silva) has already moved on to marry his best friend weeks after he has disappeared. There are also moments that when Leda is being pushed around by men, we see her as her male self. It’s a really intriguing way to frame what’s happening inside her, even if she’s a murderous maniac at times who sets a hospital on fire to kill the doctor who put her in this state.

Actually, I have lost track of the pronouns and apologize.

In Italy, this was known as Super Sexy Vamp, a title doesn’t really match what we are watching. That said, Leda quickly learns how to become a femme fatale. She engages in an insurance scam that Mary was planning and even picks up her former dead body, which has to be weird and yet she wants money and that worry never even is discussed. She’s already spent most of the movie learning that she can have the same qualifications as a woman that she did as a man and only find work as a secretary or in manual labor. If she can use the body she’s been given to get ahead, she has no issue.

Then, because this was 1974, this has to end with a downbeat ending. Or maybe evil in any sex needs to be punished. Or sometimes shock endings just are demanded.

You can watch this on YouTube.

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: Honeymoon of Terror (1961)

Frank Henenlotter’s Sexy Shockers (September 1 – 7) We all know Frank Hennenlotter as the director of the Basket Case films, Bad Biology, Brain Damage, and Frankenhooker, but he’s also a cinematic curator of the crass! An academic of the pathetic! A steward of sleaze! A sexton of the sexual and the Sexy Shocker series is his curio cabinet of crudity. Skin and sin are mixed together in these homegrown oddities, South American rediscoveries, and Eurohorror almost-classics. Your mind may recoil with erotic revulsion at the sights contained within these films, so choose wisely!

In around an hour, Frank (Doug Leith) and Marion (Dwan Marlow) get married, go to Vegas on their honeymoon, take in a Tex Ritter show, then head off to an island where a maniac with a club foot (Anton von Stralen) stalks her and waits until he leaves. Then, he unleashes his fury on the newlywed bride while her husband goes to get supplies.

Also known as Ecstasy On Lovers’ Island, it has Frank coming back only to get choked out and his wife having to stab the man whose feet we see for most of the movie — over and over — to survive. Maybe that strange man was just upset that Marion had an internal monologue saying things like “God really knew what he was doing when he made the sun!” and was hoping this was a nudie cutie and she wouldn’t disrobe.

The “Directed By Perri” is Peter Perry Jr. He also made Kiss Me Quick!My Tale Is HotMondo ModThe Secret Sex Lives of Romeo and Juliet and the seventh Taboo. He also edited Blood of Dracula’s Castle and Horror of the Blood Monsters. He has a Joe D’Amato level amount of other names, including .J. Gaylord,

You can watch this on Tubi.

CANNON MONTH 3: The Phoenix (1978)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

You can call this War of the Wizards or The Phoenix but either way, this movie is astounding. It was co-directed by Chang Mei-Chun (DynastyRevenge of the Shogun Women) and Sadamasa Arikawa (the director of special effects for films such as Destroy All Monsters; Son of Godzilla and The Mighty Peking Man).

This played in the U.S. with a horrible dub but that doesn’t matter. What does is that this movie has fantastic visuals and seems closer to a fantasy children’s movie. I have no idea why it doesn’t get discussed at all because it’s just stunning.

Tai (Hsiu-Shen Liang) is a poor fisherman who reads all he can to become a better person. He finds the Magic Vessel of Plenty and the Bamboo Book of All Knowledge, which allows him to become a rich man, but he shares his wealth by buying his fellow townspeople food. This doesn’t impress the woman he’s in love with, Jasmine (Hoi Si-Man), who wants nothing to do with him even if he is rich and successful now.

One after another killer comes his way to take his life but end up killing one another first. He’s saved by Violet (Terry Hu) and Hyacinth (Chow Chi-Ming), who promise to protect him so he decides to marry them both. That’s stopped by two old wizards who claim that Tai is filled with lust and has no idea that fate is coming for him.

The sisters really work for an evil alien called Flower Fox (Betty Pei Ti) and Tai is going to need to transform into a silver-costumed sword-wielding hero if he hopes to break the sisters away and save his people. Then, he fights a rock monster and Richard Kiel, dressed as if he were in a Sinbad movie, which makes this movie so much better as he battles Tai with giant claws.

There’s also an incredible looking phoenix that yes, is a puppet, but who cares? Perhaps fantasy doesn’t need to look perfect to be perfect. When I read negative reviews of this, it upsets me because the people who feel that way have no joy inside them.

21st Century released this as War of the Wizards.

You can watch this on YouTube.

CANNON MONTH 3: Doomed to Die (1980)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

What happens when you throw assassins in New York City, cannibals in the jungle and a Jim Jones-like cult leader into a big pot and set it to boil? You get Eaten Alive!

Sheila (Janet Agren, City of the Living Dead, Hands of Steel) is searching for her sister, Diana (Paola Senatore, Emanuelle in America)who has disappeared in the jungle. She hires Mark (Robert Kerman, Cannibal Holocaust) to help her find her way through the jungle. Oh yeah — and there are killers in the city using blowdarts. That doesn’t matter so much once we’re in the jungle.

When they find Diana — after being chased by cannibals — they learn that she has joined the cult of Jonas (Ivan Rassimov, everyone cheer when he shows up to make this movie awesome), who abuses, murders, manipulates and mindfucks everyone and anyone he gets close to. Seriously, the minute Jonas shows up, this film goes off the rails. First, he burns a man on a funeral pyre and then orders his wife Mowara (Me Me Lai, who thanks to appearances in this film, Last Cannibal World and Man from Deep River is pretty much to this genre as Edwige Fenech, Barbara Bouchet or Nieves Navaro are to giallo)to be ritually raped. Then, he hypnotizes Sheila and takes her on an altar using a snake phallus covered in venom and blood (yep, really).

Jonas preaches the Book of Isiah and pretty much owns everyone he can get his hands on, but Mowara, Sheila, Mark and Diana all attempt to escape. Diana and Mowara are overtaken by cannibals, with Diana graphically devoured while her sister and Mark watch helplessly. A helicopter arrives at the last minute to save them while the film goes into full exploitation mode, with the cult killing themselves ala Jonestown, leaving only one female survivor.

Oh man, I forgot! Mel Ferrer (The Visitor, Nightmare City) shows up as a professor!

Director Umberto Lenzi knows how to make a down and dirty film. He also knows how to keep it entertaining. Just witness other films he’s done like Ghosthouse! Plus, he’s the master of recycling, as this film re-uses the crocodile death and a woman being eaten from his 1972 film Sacrifice! (also starring Rassimov and Me Me Lai), Me Me Lai’s death from Ruggero Deodato’s Jungle Holocaust and a castration, a monkey being devoured and a man being eaten by a crocodile from Sergio Martino’s Slave of the Cannibal God. You could say he…cannibalized those movies! Sorry.

Again, keep in mind that these are rough films. They’re nearly indefensible, to be honest. I kind of wish the story of Jonas and his cult was more of the movie, with less of the cannibals. But you know, I can’t send notes back to Lenzi with a time machine or anything!

PS – Amazingly, it wasn’t until I read this review that I learned that Eaten Alive was three different movies — Jungle Holocaust, The Man from Deep River and Mountain of the Cannibal God (look for that in a few days!)  — along with some Jim Jones thrown in.

Yes, this is Eaten Alive! but it was rereleased as Doomed to Die by 21st Century. It was also licensed to Continental Video as The Emerald Jungle.

You can watch this on Tubi.

CANNON MONTH 3: Biohazard (1985)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

You know, there’s lots to love in this goofy little movie, from Angelique Pettyjohn being a psychic used to bring objects out of another dimension to a monster played by director Fred Olen Ray’s seven-year-old son Christopher to Aldo Ray playing a general and songs by Johnny Legend. It’s a rubber suit monster romp that really has no interest in being anything else which you have to respect.

This was released as Space Gremlins in other countries and I love that name.

Psychic Materialization, drugs, monsters, busty psychics, the military industrial complex, bad computer graphics, a comedy relief hobo in love with the E.T. poster he’s found and a shock ending that mixes blood, boobs and beasts all at once — you know that Biohazard isn’t good for you but have you ever huffed paint? Let me tell you, it’s cheap and it hurts your head for days and you know that you’ll be slowed down for a few minutes, probably unable to stand and then you realize that you’re doing way more than smoking or drinking, you’re messing with your brain for life because that rag or bottle you’re sneaking smells out of makes you forget things, sometimes for so long that you never remember them again.

21st Century licensed this to Continental Video.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Here’s a drink recipe.

Biohazard

  • 2 oz. vodka
  • 1 oz. Midori
  • 1 oz. Triple Sec
  • 4 oz. Lemon-Lime Gatorade
  1. Mix everything in a cocktail shaker with ice. Shake it up.
  2. Pour it in a glass and get ready for Psychic Materialization.

CANNON MONTH 3: The Redeemer: Son of Satan (1978)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

A young boy rises from a lake, fully clothed, and travels to church where a priest delivers a fire and brimstone speech about the sins of the world, in particular, six people.

Afterward, the other choir members bully the boy, even putting a knife to his throat.

Those six people have been invited to a ten-year class reunion: John, a lawyer who doesn’t care if his clients are guilty. Cindy, a promiscuous party girl. Terry, an overweight ne’er-do-well. Jane, a wealthy and immoral heiress. Roger, a vain actor. And Kirsten, a lesbian.

The event will be at their old high school, where a mysterious man arrives to kill the janitor and make a mask of his face.

None of the six people really knew one another. Yet they enjoy a room appointed with plenty of room and drink. It’s all fun and games until they find the dead body of the janitor filled with maggots and that the school is locked.

Am I really spoiling anything if I tell you that everyone dies? Terry gets his crotch set on fire with a flamethrower. Jane meets a hunter in disguise who recites poetry to her before killing her with a shotgun. Roger is killed by a magician and his deadly trick. Cindy is attacked by a clown and drowned in a sink, an attack that seems to take forever.

John meets the killer face to unmasked face. He reveals that he has lured them to the school to punish them for lives of sin, such as John being a criminal lawyer who helps guilty criminals go free. The killer is a Redeemer, one who has decided to rid the world of the wicked starting with a few sinners. They fight and John shoots the killer in the side, but he recovers and graphically shoots John in the head.

Kirsten is chased through the school and even gets the gun, but a giant puppet stabs her.

The Redeemer is revealed to be the priest, who returns to the church to finish his sermon, claiming that the six sinners will be given redemption. He then meets with the boy, who reveals that he has killed one of the boys who bullied him, as well as a Bible salesman. The boy tells him that all will be right.

The priest goes home to tend to his wounds and we notice he has an extra thumb, which disappears. The boy goes back to the lake, where he walks into the water and disappears.

The movie closes with this: “From out of the darkness the hand of the Redeemer shall appear to punish those who have lived in sin… and return to the watery depths of Hell.”

Shot in July 1976 and also known as Class Reunion Massacre, this movie is way ahead of its time. And it also seems like it wasn’t created by human beings. It’s legitimately unsettling at times and raises plenty of questions. Who is behind everything? The kid or the priest? Why are they really doing it? Why pick these exact people and this exact school? Why the masks and deathtraps?

Why ask why? This film is closer to a surrealist art film than a horror movie. Just watch the scene with the Grim Reaper costume and the Redeemer screaming and yelling, but locked outside the gates. It’s just…off. And I loved it.

21st Century licensed this to Continental Video as Class Reunion Massacre.

You can watch this on Tubi.

CANNON MONTH 3: Return of the Tiger (1978)

This is the sequel to Exit the Dragon, Enter the Tiger, stars Bruce Li and is one of the best Brucesploitation films I’ve seen.

I guess it’s a spiritual sequel as Li plays a totally different character, Chang Hung. He and his partner (Angela Mao, Lady Whirlwind) are busting up a crime empire run by Paul (Paul Smith!), taking out most of his army early and even suggesting that he just kill himself. Of course, being a gigantic evil man, Paul decides to go on the offensive and battle back. There’s also a Chinese gang that Paul is fighting for control of the heroin business, which means that our heroes are going to go all Yojimbo or A Fistful of Dollars and play them all off one another.

This movie would be incredible if all it did was steal Wild Cherry’s “Play That Funky Music” and most of the score from Live and Let Die, but it goes all the way to have an incredible ending fight with Smith remembering when he was playing a Bud Spencer ripoff along with Michael Coby as his Terence Hill in movies like Convoy Buddies. He’s a monster compared to the kung fu guys throwing flying kicks at him and it’s amazing to watch him throw them around. The way he’s finally defeated is even more amazing.

You can watch this on YouTube.

CANNON MONTH 3: Covert Action (1978)

EDITOR’S NOTE: As the journey through Cannon continues, this week we’re exploring the films of 21st Century Film Corporation, which would be the company that Menahem Golan would take over after Cannon. Formed by Tom Ward and Art Schweitzer in 1971 (or 1976, there are some disputed expert opinions), 21st Century had a great logo and released some wild stuff.

Directed by Romolo Guerrieri (The Sweet Body of DeborahTen Thousand Dollars for a MassacreDetective Belli, The Final Executioner), who wrote this with Nico Ducci, Mino Roli and Vittorio Schiraldi, Covert Action was known in Italy as Sono Stato un Agente C.I.A. It’s based on former C.I.A. agent Philip Agee’s book Inside the Company: CIA Diary. He eventually became disillusioned with the U.S. government’s support for authoritarian governments across Latin America and that they worked for multinational corporations and not for the good of the world. He did work with the producers, but by the end of the movie sued them over his fees and expenses.

Lester Horton (David Janssen) is really Agee, a man who has left the C.I.A. and wants to write about his time with them again, after a first book that put him on their hit list. There’s also a tape that has dirt on the commander of the Athens C.I.A. station (Arthur Kennedy), which is being kept by John Florio (Maurizio Merli), who is married to Horton’s ex-girlfriend Anna (Corinne Cléry).

The C.I.A. commits Horton to a mental ward to get rid of him, giving him shock therapy — this scene is pretty intense — while a Greek inspector (Phillip Leroy) works to discover the truth of what is happening. The spies also want to take out Florio, as his heroin addiction has led to him becoming a liability. To take him out, they send their killer, known as The Silent (Ivan Rassimov) who cooly takes the man out.

This has a great Stelvio Cipriani score, a super dark feel throughout and was Janssen’s last film, released four months after he died by 21st Century. Catherine Bach was the original lead, but was replaced with Cléry.

The Sizzlin’ Something Weird Summer Challenge 2024: Crypt of Dark Secrets (1976)

Frank Henenlotter’s Sexy Shockers (September 1 – 7) We all know Frank Hennenlotter as the director of the Basket Case films, Bad Biology, Brain Damage, and Frankenhooker, but he’s also a cinematic curator of the crass! An academic of the pathetic! A steward of sleaze! A sexton of the sexual and the Sexy Shocker series is his curio cabinet of crudity. Skin and sin are mixed together in these homegrown oddities, South American rediscoveries, and Eurohorror almost-classics. Your mind may recoil with erotic revulsion at the sights contained within these films, so choose wisely!

Jack Weis directed QuadroonStoryvilleDeath Brings RosesMardi Gras Massacre and a Melissa Etheridge concert video.

That makes sense.

Written by his director of photography Irwin Blaché — who also shot The Legend of Blood Mountain — this movie is less than an hour and worth all of your time. A good chunk of this movie is devoted to Damballa (Maureen Chan, who is supernaturally gorgeous) as she covers herself in oil and dances in graveyards, even mounting graves and writhing on them in a manner that Linnea Quigley would be jealous of.

She falls in love with Vietnam vet Ted (Ronald Tanet) and when three thieves learn that he has money, they kill him for it. Of course, there’s no way you can do that to a voodoo priestess, so she dances all around his dead body and literally humps him back to life, bring the Mick Jagger lyric “You can make a dead man come” to living, breathing undead life. She also levitates at one point, a trick from the spookshow career of previous director and producer Donn Davison that was also used in Herschell Gordon Lewis’ Magic Land of Mother Goose.

The origins of this movie are that Davison had made this as a PG voodoo movie and then approached Weis to improve it. He did a talented search for a woman to play the voodoo woman and Chan, who had no inhibitions at all, was perfect. Once he saw how relaxed she was being naked in front of, well, everyone, he created several scenes where she’d get even more nude.

This is a movie of swamp vibes, voodoo exposition flashbacks, denim fashion and a woman who can transform into a snake. They say there are no perfect movies, but what do they know?

You can watch this on Tubi.