EDITOR’S NOTE: This film was originally on the site on December 31, 2021. Thanks to the new Kino Lorber blu ray release, I’m sharing a revised article on the film. The Kino Lorber release has a brand new 2K scan as well as commentary by author and film historian Lee Gambin, new interviews with Barbara Brownell, Barry Van Dyke, Anita Gillette, Moosie Drier and production assistant and daughter of producer Alan Landsburg, Valerie Landsburg. You also get both the TV and theatrical cuts of the film. It’s available directly from Kino Lorber.

Guerdon Trueblood, who wrote this, really had quite the resume. The grandson of General Billy Mitchell, the founding father of the U.S. Air Force, he was a dependable writer for TV as well as writing and directing The Candy Snatchers. You can also check out a few other TV movies he wrote like The Savage Bees, SST Death Flight, Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo and even the theatrically released — and reviled — Jaws 3D.

Ants — also known as It Happened at Lakewood Manor and Panic at Lakewood Manor — was directed by Robert Scheerer, who also made Poor Devil, the “Primal Scream” episode of Kolchak and episodes of Star Trek The Next Generation, Deep Space Nine and Voyager.

Probably the main reason to watch this is Lynda Day George, who we all know and love from movies like Pieces, Day of the Animals, Beyond Evil and Mortuary. But you also get Myrna Loy, Suzanne Somers (just before Three’s Company), Bernie Casey and Brian Dennehy, who was in twelve movies and TV programs in 1977.

As for the Lakewood Manor, a real estate madman wants to turn it into a casino while its owner (Loy) wants to keep it as it is. As it involves a pit of venomous ants that can’t be destroyed by pesticides and love to murder people. Imagine — millions of ants covering people, who can’t move or they’ll be killed, ants upon ants taking the life of the soon-to-be Chrissy Snow.

From the moment that two construction workers discover just how aggressive these ants are — they get buried alive before they can tell anyone — you know that these ants mean business. The Board of Health thinks that whatever is killing everyone is some kind of violent outbreak and quarantine the hotel, but it turns out that there’s a giant pit of ants, ants that can’t be stopped with pesticides. Millions of ants, ants smart and mean enough to build bridges over the dead bodies of their fellow insects and cross water and fire just to kill anyone that gets close to them.

There’s a square up reel at the end, as only two of the many characters in this movie survive and they’re told that there’s no way this could happen again because the hotel had “unique environmental conditions vital for the existence of the ants’ nest.” Seeing as how there was never a sequel, maybe they were right.

I also love that this movie was sold with an image of Somers — after she became a big star — covered in ants. She was terrified of them but the producers somehow convinced her to do it.

In the 70s, I spent most of my childhood worrying that I would be killed by a bug. Now, I’m more sure it’s going to be a heart attack any day now.

The Savage Bees was a big deal. I mean, Jeannie Devereaux (Gretchen Corbett) trapped in a VW Bug during Mardi Gras? Well, on December 26, 1978 CBS brought Jeannie back — now played by Tovah Feldshuh — put her in a love triangle with her boss David Martin (Efrem Zimbalist Jr.) and her kinda sorta boyfriend Nick Willis (Dan Haggerty), then has a bunch of bad bees get in with the good bees and before you know it, a softball game and a marching band are the targets of the swarm.

With dialogue like “Oh my God! His mouth. It’s full of bees!” and appearances by Lonny Chapman (Long John the tattoo artist in The Witch Who Came from the Sea), Ike Eisenmann from the Witch Mountain movies, Joe E. Tata before he owned the Peach Pit, Richard Herd (Schizoid), Charles Hallahan (The Thing) and Steve Franken (who also battles Ants! a year before), this is also the kind of movie with a National Bee Center ready to defend our country for the threat of killer bees.

You know, I read a review of this and the kid writing about it pish poshed the notion of killer bees. Well, I was there, every night when the news told us we were all going to get stung a thousand times and die. It’s easy to laugh about without living that life. I did. Bees were all we talked about. Also: quicksand.

Director Lee H. Katzin also made the bizarre and wonderful movies The Phynx and What Ever Happened to Aunt Alice? He also directed Savages, World Gone Wild and the pilot of Samurai, a show that would have had Joe Penny fighting crime as a sword-wielding vigilante.

Writer Guerdon Trueblood was a great cause of the week movie guy. I mean, the same talent did The Savage Bees, Ants! and Tarantulas: The Deadly Cargo. He moved on to airplane movies (SST: Death Flight, Terror Out of the Sky) and also wrote Jaws 3-D and directed The Dandy Snatchers.

This being the 70s, the whole movie is more about a woman choosing between two horrible men than it is about bees. That said, there are some moments of fun, like the end when Zimbalist wears an anti-bee suit that is soon covered by millions of black and yellow striped monsters.

The new Kino Lorber blu ray release of Terror Out of the Sky has a new 2K master, commentary by film historian David Del Valle and filmmaker David DeCoteau (who made his own bug movie 1313: Giant Killer Bees) and trailers for the film. You can get it from Kino Lorber.

Originally airing on SyFy on February 28, 2009, this movie was somehow topped when that network crossed it over with Lake Placid.

Dr. Amanda Hayes (Crystal Allen) and Peter Murdoch (John Rhys-Davies) are back from the last movie and the evil elite rich guy has figured out how to inject that baby anaconda from the last movie with blood orchid serum that allows it to continually regrow cells, because if you have created a monster snake, why not make one that can’t be killed because that seems like the kind of plan that often works.

The thing is, Murdoch has bone cancer and he thinks the blood of that snake can heal him, so he sends out a team of tough guys that will most assuredly get killed by snakes to get that blood orchid snake plasma cocktail.

I kind of love that after all this work, Murdoch injects the serum, gets over his cancer and then a snake decapitates him.

How did I watch four of these movies? Why did I watch four of these movies? OCD is weird because you only feel completeness when you tackle challenges and surpass them, but I’m not doing anything good for humanity. I’m in a basement watching snake movies and drinking too much Pepsi. Someone stop me.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Originally airing on July 26, 2008 on SyFy, this movie gives us what we always wanted: David Hasselhoff in a big snake movie.

Shot at the same time as Anacondas: Trail of Blood in Romania, a place where you may say, “Where the fuck are the anacondas?” and “Did they make every sequel in the former Soviet Union?”

Remember that blood orchid? Well, a serum made from it and an anaconda taken from the Amazon River have somehow ended up within crawling distance of the Danube thanks to a project that God himself will smite and destroy the life of rich fool Peter Murdoch (John Rhys-Davies, who was on SyFy like all day every day) and man, his assistant doesn’t even make it to the first commercial.

Now the queen anaconda is loose and Dr. Amanda Hayes (Crystal Allen) and snake hunter Stephen Hammett (Hasselhoff) must stop the snakes before they eat everyone in Bucharest. The truth is — I mean, do you even care if I keep you from watching this, I mean spoil this for you — is that Hasselhoff is trying to get a baby anaconda that has been given special powers thanks to the experiments Dr. Hayes has done and give it to Murdoch.

If you ever wanted to see a movie where Hasselhoff gets swarmed by baby snakes and blown up, this would be it.

Director Don E. FauntLeRoy worked with Victor Salva on Jeepers Creepers, Jeepers Creepers 2, Rosewood Lane and Dark House, so now I hate that I watched this even more. He was also the director of photography on Munchie and The Skateboard Kid, which may or may not be worse than the above issue.

You can watch this on Tubi.

EDITOR’S NOTE: This movie originally was on the site on April 1, 2018. Now, Arrow Video has a new release that we’re so in love with. Extras include brand new audio commentary by TV movie queen Amanda Reyes; Welcome to Hell Week: A Pledge’s Guide to the Initiation of Sarah, a brand new appreciation by film critic Stacie Ponder and queer horror programmer Anthony Hudson, co-hosts of the Gaylords of Darkness podcast; Cracks in the Sisterhood: Second Wave Feminism and The Initiation of Sarah, a brand new visual essay by film critic and historian Alexandra Heller-Nicholas; The Intimations of Sarah, a brand new interview with film critic Samantha McLaren looking at witchcraft, empowerment, TV movies and telekinetic shy girls post-Carrie; The Initiation of Tom, a brand new interview with Tom Holland on this his first film writing credit as well as an image gallery, a reversible sleeve featuring newly commissioned artwork by Luke Insect and a fully-illustrated collector’s booklet featuring new writing by Lindsay Hallam and Alexandra West. You can order this from MVD. 

Originally airing on February 6, 1978, this movie reminds me of a very important lesson: the occult was everywhere in the 1970s and it was ready to mess your life up.

The film opens with Sarah (Kay Lenz, House) who joins her stepsister Patty (Morgan Brittany, who was in Death Car on the Freeway and was Katherine Wentworth on Dallas, who was Bobby’s killer before the shower scene retcon) going to the beach. A young man forces himself on Patty and Sarah saves her with telekinesis.

The movie tries to set things up with Sarah as some ugly duckling, but in every other movie I’ve seen Kay Lenz in, she is portrayed as being attractive. That’s the only hollow note in this movie.

The girls go off to college, where they both plan on joining Alpha Nu Sigma. Their mother is even the head of the alumni committee, so it’s a big deal for her to get her biological daughter, Patty, in. For some reason, Patty is welcomed with open arms while Sarah is directed to join Phi Epsilon Delta.

All of the PED girls are rude and ill-tempered other than Mouse (Tisa Farrow, Zombi 2, Anthropophagus), a shy girl who everyone else is mean to. Mouse just wants to play her violin because otherwise, she gets nuts!

Jennifer (80’s sex symbol Morgan Fairchild), the head of ANS, forbids her sisterhood from fraternizing with the PED girls, which tears the sisters apart. Meanwhile, Sarah starts to fall for Paul (Tony Bill, Are You in the House Alone?) while staying wary of den mother Mrs. Hunter (Shelley Winters in an unhinged performance).

Even after she uses her powers to shove Jennifer into a fountain, Sarah doesn’t want to give in to her powers. But once the ANS girls retaliate and throw food and mud at her, she gives in to Mrs. Hunter’s call to hatred and gives in to an initiation ceremony.

That ceremony? It involves blowing off the evil girl’s dresses, permanently ruining Jennifer’s face and killing Mouse, but Sarah decides at the last second to kill both herself and Mrs. Hunter to stop the sacrifice. As the film ends, Patty joins PED and becomes friends with Mouse. They both mourn the loss of Sarah.

These are the kind of movies that made me glad that I went to art school and a downtown college instead of a real university. That said, I would not be eligible for a sorority, so I guess the point is moot.

This movie also has appearances by Michael Talbott (Freddy from Carrie), Robert Hayes (Airplane!), Deborah Ryan (Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park), Talia Balsam (The Supernaturals) and Kathryn Grant (The Night the World Exploded).

Made for Italian TV but shot in English in Sante Fe, New Mexico, Doc West is all about Minnesota “Doc” West (Terence Hill, who co-directed this with Giulio Base) is preparing to send money to a boarding school cross the country when robbers steal everything in the post office. He tries to chase them, but ends up saving a boy named Silver from a rattlesnake and losin their scent.

Silver tells Doc that the gang probably went to Holysand,a place where they learn that Silver’s stepfather Nathan Mitchell (Boots Southerland) has set a fire and is in the middle of battling with rival rancer Victor Baker (Adam Taylor). They’re stopped by Sheriff Roy Basehart (Paul Sorvino) and school teacher Denise Stark (Clare Carey).

After a poker game with Siver’s ranch hand Garvey (Alessio di Clemente) lands Doc in jail — he’s accused of cheating which isn’t true — he ends up fixing Sheriff Basehart’s back problems and winning his trust. Over another game of poker, West tells Basehart that he was a doctor, but had killed a patient while drunk. He vows to never drink or touch a scapel again and rides the west, looking for work so he can send money to his daughter Estrella.

West becomes integral in redeeming the town through his adventures with Silver often getting him in trouble. This movie seems similar to the lighthearted films that Hill is known for and would make a good family introduction to the Italian west. Speaking of family, one of the writers was Marco Barboni, son of Enzo Barboni, who directed the Trinity movie that made Terence Hill a worldwide name.

You can watch this on Tubi.