Jen (Anna Marie Dobbins) and Jon (Andrew Rogers) work in the same office building as executive assistants. They aren’t getting any time off because of their bosses Kate (Vivica A. Fox) and Owen (Dorian Gregory), so they decide to set the two of them up, hoping that love will lead to a break for everyone. Of course, everyone falls in love and some gift of the Magi kicks in and everyone is happy.

David DeCoteau and Vivica A. Fox go together for the holidays like holly and ivy. I’m working my way through everything they’ve made together.

Somehow, I watched two Christmas movies with Anna Marie Dobbins in them today and both times, she plays a nice girl who a hot guy treats badly so she gets with another hot guy who has no idea that he’s in love with her, which seems like the cycle is just beginning again.

Will I ever stop watching made for TV Christmas movies, despite me being a bah humbug?

Did I tear up at the end of this movie?

Why am I like this?

You can watch this on Tubi.

Who are we to tell Leslie Nielsen to say no to anything?

After a career that mostly found him playing in B movies, he hit it big with Airplane and followed the formula, In 2007, he said, “I’m afraid if I don’t keep moving, they’re going to catch me … I am 81 years old and I want to see what’s around the corner, and I don’t see any reason in the world not to keep working.” He kept on making movies in his comfort zone like The Naked Gun, Repossessed, Dracula: Dead and Loving It, Mr. Magoo, 2001: A Space Travesty, Scary Movie 3 and 4, Wrongfully Accused, Spy Hard and many more. So devoted to the joke — he carried a fart machine everywhere — his tombstone has his favorite saying: “”Let ‘er rip.”

This movie is your basic Disney TV movie. Nielsen is Santa, who has fallen off his sleigh and gets amnesia. A TV reporter, Peter Albright (Steven Eckholdt), is getting publicity for featuring him but doesn’t believe that he’s the real Santa, unlike his girlfriend’s Claire’s (Robyn Lively) son Zack (Max Morrow). Tommy Davidson is Max the elf, who decides that with Santa gone, he and the other elves can take some time off. But if Santa doesn’t get it together, there will be no Christmas.

Lionsgate has licensed this movie, along with other Hearst properties such as The Babysitter’s Seduction, Sex, Lies, & Obsession, A Different Kind of Christmas, Blue Valley Songbird and Sex & Mrs. X to MarVista Entertainment. Yes. The makers of all my Tubi movies. This needs to get moving because Christmas is days away and this would be such a joy for me.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Madison Jacobs (Kathryn Davis) is a department store executive at the Chester + Wade department store. As she prepares an out of the box menswear fashion show for sponsor Paul Grant (oh man, that’s Scott Thompson, who is doing a show at a winery near me and I kind of want to go but also wish he was playing bigger stages so maybe it makes me sad). Instead of worrying why everyone just goes to Amazon instead of her store — has to hire the perfect Santa, a young one with a sense of style. She hired her best friend Ethan Davis (Franco Lo Presti) to be the dream Santa, who gets a walking through the store intro scene where it is made known that every single person wants to have Santa slide down their chimney and eat all their cookies.

The secret is that Ethan hasn’t told Madison that he’s playing his fake cousin Rafe Hollifield and is trying to win her over after a lifetime of just being friends. And yes, this is the same department store from Christmas On the Slopes.

Directed by Amy Force, who also directed Country Hearts Christmas, We’re Scrooged, Christmas Lucky Charm, Christmas In Rockwell, Christmas On 5th Avenue, Christmas In the Rockies and Dashing Home for Christmas, and written by Paula Tiberius, who wrote Christmas In Big Sky Country, Christmas On the Slops, Country Roads Christmas and Snowbound for Christmas.

Can Santa be hot? Watch this and learn for yourself.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Nina (Mimi Rogers) is an art dealer. When she gets her weekly massage, a new masseur shows up, Fitch (Bryan Brown). What follows is a long discussion and a connection as he rubs her body. When asked what it was like to be nude for the entire film, Rogers said it didn’t always feel great. “I thought it would, but nothing I did felt good. I was either straining my neck or laying on a cold metal table. I did that because I thought it was a fascinating script with interesting dialogue. Sort of like My Dinner With Andre with a massage table. Also, it was an opportunity to work with Nicolas Roeg. He waited for me to have my baby so we shot four-and-a-half months after I gave birth. My body was not what it usually is.”

Rogers and Brown are both good in this and if it weren’t for their chemistry and ability to make the dialogue about the meaning of life sound conversational, this would feel like a movie that just wanted to have nudity throughout. Yet it never feels like its exploiting her and instead it feels like you learn so much about both of them. I’d have never watched this Nicholas Roeg movie if it wasn’t for it coming out on blu ray and I’m glad that I did.

The Unearthed Films blu ray of this movie also has a TV edit. You can get it from MVD.

We live in a world where David DeCoteau made a Christmas movie with Tara Reid. She plays Alison, who dated King Charles (Ingo Rademacher) in college without ever knowing he was royalty. One night, the king’s assistant Rosa (Mira Furlan) forced her to break up with him and he never knew that they had a daughter, Lily (Haley Pullos), together. He had an arranged marriage and is now a widower.

Seventeen years later. Charles is in the U.S. on business and wants to see Allison, even meeting her former roommate Sam (Mykel Shannon Jenkins) for help.

Except…this isn’t a Christmas movie. It doesn’t have a big dance. It’s just…kind of like a fairy tale movie. But at least the twist wasn’t as unforeseeable as Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper, which surprised me with a scene where a sasquatch watches a guy take a one-handed shower. Ah, you know, if that’s what you like, it’s what you like. I’ve found myself watching so many DeCoteau Christmas movies, much less DeCoteau movies and I recommend Santa’s Summer House.

You can watch this on Tubi.

I have a big weakness for made for TV biopics, often because they’re rarely good and yet that keeps me coming back to them. The blame lies at the feet of the multiple tabloids my grandmother subscribed to as I learned about Liz’s sad last days, Liberace and Rock Hudson’s watermelon diet and who was beating who, who was doing drugs and who was getting surgery.

Based on Joe Hyams’ 1966 novel, Bogie: The Biography of Humphrey Bogart, this stars Kevin O’Connor as Humphrey Bogart, who was my father’s favorite actor. O’Connor has an interesting list of credits, like playing Irijah in The Passover Plot and Woody in Let’s Scare Jessica to Death.

In the roles of the two loves of his life are Ann Wedgeworth (Aunt Fern from Steel Magnolias) as Mayo Methot and Kathryn Harrold (Raw Deal) as Lauren Bacall.

Director Vincent Sherman made The Return of Dr. X, All Through the Night, Crime School, Across the Pacific and King of the Underworld with Bogie and writer Daniel Taradash wrote Knock on Any Door, so they knew that man. It’s hard to say if this was right, because it seems like it tries to get in so much in such a short time. The transitions where it shows Bogart in his many roles seem like something out of pictures you would get in a Wild West saloon at a theme park. Nothing feels authentic. Much of the film is O’Connor mugging for the camera and trying to get his face to look like the star.

You can spot a young Drew Barrymore as Bogie’s daughter Leslie.

When asked about the movie, his widow Lauren Bacall said, It’s a bunch of crap, and there’s no way to stop it. It’s a crock, unadulterated garbage, and it’s untrue. They’re just going to use him. Jesus, there’s no creativity left in the world. People will do anything for money. Anything.”

Oddly enough, both Bogart and O’Connor died from cancer.

You can watch this on Tubi.