Category Archives: Made for TV Movie

CBS LATE MOVIE: Linda (1973)

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EDITOR’S NOTE: Linda was on the CBS Late Movie on September 29, 1975, May 24, 1977 and June 12, 1978.

John D. MacDonald had several of his books turned into movies. The Executioners was filmed twice as Cape Fear, Soft Touch inspired Man-Trap, plus the novels Darker Than Amber, The Girl, the Gold Watch & Everything, Condominium and A Flash of Green were all made into movies. Even this story was turned into two TV movies with the second starring Virginia Madsen as Linda.

Linda Reston (Stella Stevens) has a bad marriage with Paul (Ed Nelson, The Devil’s Partner), who is daydreaming of leaving her when she suddenly shoots their friend Anne Braden (Mary-Robin Redd) and turns the gun on Anne’s husband Jeff (John Saxon!) while at the beach. Paul calls the cops and when they arrive, Jeff is alive and the twosome accuses Paul of killing Anne.

As you can tell right away, Linda and Jeff are working together to get rid of their spouses and make a new life for themselves. Luckily, Marshall Journeyman (John McIntire, who replaced both Ward Bond on Wagon Train and Charles Bickford on The Virginian when both of those actors died), an elder lawyer, takes on his case and starts to investigate Linda and Jeff.

Paul sneaks out of his cell and soon learns that his wife has been conspiring with Jeff, which leads Journeyman to get the cops in on a scam to call her and try and get a confession. She’s too tough but man, Jeff folds right away. She tells him he’s spineless and also informs her now ex-husband that she won’t be in jail long.

Originally broadcast as the ABC Saturday Suspense Movie on November 3, 1973, this was directed by Jack Smight, who made one of my wife’s favorite movies, No Way to Treat a Lady, as well as Airport 1975, The Illustrated Man, The Traveling Executioner, Number One with a Bullet and Damnation Alley.

Stella Stevens is quite wonderful in this. She’s so cold and has everything figured out, yet as she laments, she’s never been able to find a man who isn’t spineless. Her husband can’t even bury a dead animal without having a nervous breakdown, and her lover gets her arrested for murder. I’d love a sequel where we learn how she takes over prison.

Tales from the Crypt S7 E12: Ear Today…Gone Tomorrow ( 1996)

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One episode away from the end.

Directed by Christopher Hart (Eat and Run) and written by Steven Dodd and Ed Tapia, this is the story of Glynn Fennel (Robert Lindsay), a safecracker whose hearing is going, which leads to him screwing up his jobs. Mob boss Malcolm Lawson (Richard Johnson) spares his life, on the advice of his wife Kate (Gretchen Palmer). When Malcolm leaves on business, Kate reveals that she has been given the eyes of a cat and can get Glynn the ears of an owl, as long as he breaks into her husband’s safe. She’ll split the money and he can pay his debts.

“Look, lady, I’m sorry if the product made your skin fall off. But we never do ax-changes on sale merchandise! Next! Some people. Maybe at Doom-ingdales the ghost-omer’s always fright. But not here. Attention all Slay Mart choppers! Interested in tonight’s boo light special? (no longer in the microphone) It concerns a couple of crooks who are about to learn the benefits of dying wholesale. I call this bit of gash-and-carry: “Ear Today… Gone Tomorrow.”

The new ears work so well that Glynn shoots Kate and takes the money for himself. Except that now, she has nine lives. Good Lord, shudder, choke…she and her husband are using criminals like him to harvest these animal organs.

In the original EC Comics story, which was in Haunt of Fear #11, two men own a fertilizer factory next to a cemetery and decide to start digging under the graveyard and use that dirt, including some of the bones of dead people. When they go on vacation together, a field of corn comes to life and kills them. It was written by Al Feldstein and William Gaines and drawn by Jack Davis.

CBS LATE MOVIE: I, Desire (1982)

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EDITOR’S NOTE: I, Desire was on the CBS Late Movie on August 5 and 23, 1988..

When you see the name John Llewellyn Moxey on the credits of a movie, you know you’re getting into something extraordinary. Just look at The House That Would Not Die, A Taste of Evil, The Night Stalker, Nightmare In Badham County, Deadly Deception and, well, just about everything he did. I didn’t even mention The City of the Dead and Psycho-Circus!

Originally called I, Desire and airing November 15, 1982 on ABC, who knew this little vampire film would be amongst the best ones I’d find for our vampire week? There’s a great cast — David Naughton from An American Werewolf In London makes for a fine lead, as well as Brad Dourif as a priest, Barbara Stock as the bewitching vampire, Dorian Harewood (he was in Sudden Death!) as a cop, Marilyn Jones as Naughton’s fiancee and even an appearance from Not Necessarily The News‘ Anne Bloom (or Frosty Kimelman in that long-lost HBO program).  Oh yeah — and Marc Silver, who was the guitarist in Ivan and the Terribles, the ill-fated band in Motel Hell.

There are some great twists and turns in this one, as well as an incredible vampiric apartment at the end that I wish I could live in. I’ll assume it’s just a studio set so that I don’t get sad that I can never go back in time and see it for myself.

You can watch this on YouTube.

MILL CREEK BOX SET RELEASE: Documentary Now! (2015-2022)

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Whether you believe that this is a series in its fiftieth season or a mockumentary show created by Fred Armisen, Bill Hader, Seth Meyers, and Rhys Thomas, you just have to watch it. Through four seasons, all hosted by Helen Mirren, you will meet the sisters who live in “Sandy Passage,” which is totally Grey Gardens; experience the VICE-sorta “DRONEZ: The Hunt for El Chingon,” the Errol Morris parody “The Eye Doesn’t Lie,” “Gentle & Soft: The Story of the Blue Jean Committee, Parts 1 & 2,” which reminds me of how Hader is obsessed with how Eagles play soft music yet swear and tried to kill one another at times; “Final Transmission,” which somehow gets in a Talking Heads, The Band and Tom Waits parody all at the same time; a Robert Evans parody; a pisstake on Marina Abramović; a multi-Herzog doc; dodgeball with rocks and so much more.

In the book that comes with the box set, Armisen said, “I remember hoping that someone somewhere would find this show way in the future, without context, and then take it seriously.”

That’s why it works so well.

Plus, you get contributions by John Mulaney, Tim Robinson, Mike O’Brien, Cameron Crowe, Chuck Klosterman, Peter Bogdanovich, Faye Dunaway, Mia Farrow, Peter Fonda, Anne Hathaway, Owen Wilson, Michael Keaton, Cate Blanchett, Mr. Brainwash, Alexander Skarsgard, Tom Jones and so, so many more people. It’s really something how rich this show was and how high the quality stayed for all four seasons. It’s something like SCTV and Mr. Show that I will keep coming back to.

That’s why I’m so excited that this box set has come out. There are so many jokes and moments that you need to just keep watching these shows and they demand more than just one viewing. This is as perfect as comedy gets these days.

The Mill Creek box set of Documentary Now! has 2 hours of bonus features, including an IFC Emmy panel discussion, behind the scenes footage, deleted scenes, trailers and promos. It also comes with a 28 page book and 8 mini posters. You can get it from Deep Discount.

Murder, She Wrote S1 E21: Funeral at Fifty-Mile (1985)

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Jessica has to unravel the secrets and threats at the funeral of a friend in Wyoming.

Season 1, Episode 21: Funeral at Fifty-Mile (April 21, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

We’ve made it through the whole first season of Murder, She Wrote. Jack Carver has died, Jessica is in town to pay her respects, and of course, there’s a mystery.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Doc Wallace is played by Noah Beery Jr., Grandpa from Walking Tall; he also was Mordecai in the Sunn Classics’ Greatest Heroes of the Bible TV series.

Mary Carver is Kathleen Beller, Prince Alana in The Sword and the Sorcerer and Gail from Are You In the House Alone?

Bill Carmody is played by J.D. Cannon, Peter J. Clifford from McCloud and the D.A. in Death Wish 2.

Carl Mestin, who shows up with a hot new wife, is Clu Gulager. Man, Clu! Do I even have to expound on how incredible this man was?

Tim Carver is Donald Moffat, Garry in The Thing.

Art Merrick is Jeff Osterhage, who was in the 1989 version of Masque of the Red Death.

Sheriff Ed Potts, who shows off his gun to Jessica like he’s about to unleash his penis, is played by Cliff Potts.

Sally Mestin? Stella Stevens! Stella Stevens on Murder, She Wrote, I do declare!

Attorney Sam Breem is William Windom, the President in Escape from the Planet of the Apes.

In minor roles, Brooke Alderson is Alice, Edith Diaz is Emma, Efrain Figueroa is Jesus (not The Son of Man, a man named Jesus), Archie Lang is a minister, and Larry Carr and Charles Cirillo are funeral guests.

What happens?

Jessica attends the burial of Wyoming rancher Jack Carver with his family, friends and fellow war vets, but soon learns from lawyer Sam Breen that Jack died without finalizing his will. This means that his brother Tim won’t get the ranch, and his daughter Mary gets everything. But then Carl Mestin and his wife show up, and he claims that when he saved Jack’s life in Korea, he was given all of this in the will. But guess what? He’s soon swinging from a noose, and the cops think it was Mary’s fiancé, Art, who did it.

Can our girl Jessica just enjoy one vacation without having to put in some work?

Man, this one has some twists and turns. There’s even a Giallo moment when someone leaves a noose outside JB’s window. She totally doesn’t sell it, because she figures out who the killer was pretty easily.

Who did it?

Everyone. Carl was a rapist who got Mary’s mother pregnant and her father did the honorable thing by marrying her and raising her daughter. When he came back to town to try and get the money, they decided to finally kill him. They confess to Jessica, and she promises not to tell Mary the truth.

Who made it?

Another episode for Seymour Robbie. This was written by Dick Nelson, whose career was mainly in TV.

Does Jessica get some?

I’m getting tired of these episodes where no one tries to give Jessica back shots, and I’m not shy about it.

Does Jessica dress stupidly or act drunk?

Not yet!

Was it any good?

A satisfactory ending for the season, if a downer ending.

Any trivia?

Of course, William Windom is familiar. Starting next season, he’ll be a regular as Jessica’s friend Dr. Seth Hazlett.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Attorney Sam Breen: But there’s no way on God’s green earth Mary will ever know the reason why, not from any of us.

Jessica Fletcher: Nor from me, Sam. She’s been hurt enough already.

What’s next?

The show has been running regularly until now, but once it’s a proven success, it’s time for Jessica to get wacky. Like next week, episode one of season two: She masquerades as a wealthy widow at a luxurious tropical hotel in order to trap a murderer. John Phillip Law shows up!

Sizzlin’ Summer of Side-Splitters 2025: Garfield: His Nine Lives (1988)

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June 23-29 Cat Week: Cats! They’re earth’s funniest creatures (sorry chimps, you’re psychos).

Based on the 1984 book, Jim Davis decided to show us all the past lives of Garfield — the one we know is life eight — and also depress us along the way. The book has Vikings, a dinosaur Odie and even a version where he goes primal and kills his elderly owner. On November 22, 1988, this CBS special adapted six of the stories from the book — “Babes and Bullets,” which is also from that book, was its own special — and added a few new stories.

Did you know Garfield was Handel’s cat and that he invented jazz? That he was a stunt cat for Krazy Kat and died when bricks crushed him? Or, if we’re to believe the last story, is Garfield Himself God?

This also has the saddest story ever, Diana’s Piano, all about a young girl who has a cat for her whole life, and it dies. Why is this in a child’s cartoon? Why did I put myself through it when I haven’t gotten past the loss of my best friend, Andy the cat?

However, we do learn how Odie once saved Garfield’s life and discover that someday, a very old Garfield will have children, so that’s kind of cool.

I know that Garfield is a very commercialized character, but I love him. Kennywood here in Pittsburgh used to have a dark ride — a water one, no less — that had Garfield in it, and everyone hated it. They hated it because it went on for years past, and no one cared about Garfield, and people wanted it to be the Old Mill again. Those people are losers. This was an entire ride where you were in Garfield’s head, and I would ride it again and again, yelling things out in Garfield’s voice. I loved it so much that the cover of my writer’s sample book was a picture of me waiting in line to ride it again. I love that Garfield hates human beings so much, that he despises Mondays, and that he loves human food. He is very much an honest cat, one that feels real. People love hi,m and he doesn’t need them.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Tales from the Crypt S8 E11: Confession (1996)

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Warhol Evans (Eddie Izzard), a horror screenwriter suspected of beheading women and keeping their craniums as trophies, is being questioned by Jack Lynch (Ciarán Hinds), who is the kind of tough homicide detective that every cop wants to be.

This is one of those episodes that gets very meta, referring to a book, The Satanic Scriptures, written by Alan Katz and Gill Adler, the producers. There’s also a line where Lynch goes on IMDB and looks up the writer’s credits, asking what Tales from the Crypt is. “Ancient history,” replies Evans, “That was years ago. It’s been canceled now.”

“Okay, that’s enough. I think I see what the problem is. Your eyes are in terrible shape. Probably from watching too much Tales From the Crypt. To fix it we’ll require cohacktive lenses, maybe even radio scare-totomy. Although, there is another test I could perform. We’ll start by turning out the lights and making you look at this. It’s a nasty nugget about a writer who’s pretty fear-sighted himself. I call this one “Confession.””

Directed by Peter Hewett (The Borrowers) and written by Scott Nimerfro, this has a cop so good that — spoiler — he can kill people and get others to confess to it. Then again, Warhol isn’t exactly clean — he was acquitted for molesting a child, he has a ton of weapons in his house, and he does call home to get his girlfriend to get rid of another severed head.

This episode is based on “Confession” from Shock SuspenStories #14. It was written by Al Feldstein and William Gaines and drawn by Wally Wood. The story and ending are similar, but the occult and severed heads are absent.

Sizzlin’ Summer of Side-Splitters 2025: Whiskers (1997)

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June 23-29 Cat Week: Cats! They’re earth’s funniest creatures (sorry chimps, you’re psychos).

When Klon put this challenge together, it was to get people to lighten up. I’m in a basement with no windows, working two jobs at home, never leaving, always trying to make people happy, then I cut the grass. No complaints other than I’m past fifty and wondering how I got here and how soon I will be dead. But hey, Whiskers, a movie in which a child, upset that his parents will get rid of his pet, makes a wish on an Egyptian cat goddess and transforms his pet into a 30-year-old man.

There’s war on the horizon, false flags, no one cares about anyone and ICE is brutalizing people and don’t worry, this sadly won’t age and man, how can I be angst ridden when that cat is on a skateboard? Just take a gander. That cat is ready to fucking shred, you sad sack fucks.

So yeah, Jed Martin (Michael Caloz) spends so much time with. his cat Whiskers that his parents decide to get rid of it. 1990s parents. The human Whiskers is Brent Carver, who goes all out in this. There are also bullies who call Jed Cat Boy.

Jim Kaufman’s directing credits are mostly for TV, but he did do Night of the Demons III. This was written by Wendy Biller and Christopher Hawthorne.

Also for parents, of which I am not one: Michael Yarmush, who is Fingers, and Michael Caloz, who plays Jed, were the voices of Arthur and D.W. on the much-despised cartoon Arthur.

This is not religious, it’s Canadian. That can be confusing.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Chattanooga Film Festival 2025 Red Eye #4: The Girl Most Likely To…(1973) and Mooch Goes to Hollywood (1971)

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The Girl Most Likely To…(1973):  My acting career pretty much begins with an appearance as Sergeant-Major Morris in The Monkey’s Paw and ends with my role as Dr. Green from this story. No, I was not in the movie. I was in a stage play version and the kiss that gave me a fatal heart attack was the first kiss I ever had from a non-family member girl. She said I tasted like a chili dog. A much cuter blonde girl offered to give me lessons after the play (and some mints).

Inspired by The Second Face, this was written by Joan Rivers and Agnes Gallin It was directed by Lee Phillips, who starred in Peyton Place and also made The Stranger Within and The Spell. It was the ABC Movie of the Week, first airing on November 6, 1973.

It’s also Stockard Channing’s first movie and she’s Miriam Knight, an intelligent young lady who is overlooked because of, well, her looks. Her roommate grows jealous when Miriam gets the lead in a stage play, so she sneak attacks her with roses. Miriam’s allergies send her running from the stage and into an accident which changes her looks and life forever.

Once the bandages come off her face, she’s a totally new girl. One who is now willing to do whatever it takes to get revenge — murderous revenge — on everyone who has ever wronged her.

The Girl Most Likely To… has a great cast, such as Ed Asner, Jim Backus, Joe Flynn from McHale’s Navy, Chuck McCann (a voice of a ton of animated characters), comedy magician Carl Ballantine, Fred Grandy from The Love Boat, CHiPs star Larry Wilcox, future director Dennis Dugan (who, before directing a LOT of Adam Sandler movies, such as Just Go with It, acted in films, such as 1980’s The Howling) and the man who would be Captain America and Yor Hunter from the Future, Reb Brown.

This is a comedy, but man, it’s a really dark one. How was my school allowed to put this play on?

Mooch Goes to Hollywood (1971): Mooch is a new girl in town, fresh off the bus to Hollywood, wanting to be a star. We’ve seen it all before, but have we seen it with Mooch being played by Higgins the Dog, whose 14 year career in Hollywood had him on Petticoat Junction and playing the original Benji. His daughter Benjean took over the role of Benji and trainer Frank Inn loved this dog so much that he had his ashes buried with him. He also wrote this poem when Higgins died:

My Gift to Jesus
by Frank Inn

I wish someone had given little Jesus
a dog as loyal and loving as mine
to sleep by His manger and gaze in His eyes
and adore Him for being divine.

As our Lord grew to manhood His own faithful dog
would have followed Him all through the day
while He preached to the crowds and made the sick well
and knelt in the garden to pray.

It is sad to remember that Christ went away
to face death alone and apart
with no tender dog following close behind
to comfort His masters heart.

And when Jesus rose on that Easter morn
how happy He would have been
as His dog kissed His hand and barked its delight
for the one who died for all men.

Well the Lord has a dog now, I just sent Him mine…
My old pal so dear to me
And I smile through my tears on this first day alone
knowing they’re in eternity.

A movie narrated by not just Richard Burton but also Zsa Zsa Gabor, this is everything I love about 1970s Hollywood. How else can you explain a movie where a dog meets Vincent Price at the Brown Derby, goes to Dino’s and the Playboy Club with Phyliss Diller, runs into Ricky Ricardo’s Jerry Hausner, James Darren, Jill St. John and Jim Backus and his wife Henny. All narrated, again, by Zsa Zsa, who is basically unintelligble.

Meanwhile, the theme song plaintively warbles about Mooch’s adventures. It sounds like the “went to see the movie, went to see the show” drive-in commerical for the snack bar.

It was directed by Richard Erdman, who was in a ton of movies and also played Leonard on Community. He also directed The Brothers O’Toole, which was the first movie produced by Sunn’s Charles Sellier Jr. Speaking of Backus, he wrote this with Jerry Devine.

Some facts: This was Edward G. Robinson’s final movie. Higgins’ various costumes were provided by Frederick’s of Hollywood. The theme song is sung by Sonny Curtis, who wrote “I Fought the Law” and would follow this by singing the theme to Benji. Man, Sonny Curtis! He was in the Crickets and stayed in the band when Buddy Holly died. He also sang “Love Is All Around,” the theme for The Mary Tyler Moore Show.

This is a movie for kids and yet Mooch becomes a stripper with Zza Zsa saying, “Keep it on. Keep it on!”

Higgins was so well trained that he learned a new trick every week.

NOTE: I said this was Edward G. Robinson’s first movie when it’s really his last. Thanks to Kris Erickson for finding the typo!

You can watch this and many other films at CFF by buying a pass on their website. Over the next few days, I’ll be posting reviews and articles and updating my Letterboxd list of watches.

Murder, She Wrote S1 E20: Murder at the Oasis (1985)

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An unpopular show-business personality discovers that elaborate security systems are no guarantee of safety.

Season 1, Episode 20: Murder at the Oasis (April 7, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Jessica gets close to showbiz again, and someone dies.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Johnny Shannon is played by Ed Ames, a Ukranian Jewish person who ended up playing the Native American Mingo on Daniel Boone and the man who hit a cowboy in the cock with a tomahawk on Johnny Carson.

Speaking of Johnny Carson, Joey Bishop once tried to go up against him and lost. He plays Buster Bailey.

Mickey Shannon is Joseph Bottoms, who was in The Black Hole.

Vic LaRose is played by Joseph Cali, Joey from Saturday Night Fever and Vince La Costa in The Lonely Lady.

The cop in this episode, Detective Sergeant Barnes, is The White Shadow’s Ken Howard.

Peggy Shannon? That’s Piper Laurie! They’re all going to laugh at you!

Lou Ross is Jack O’Halloran, one of my favorite bad guys ever, as Phantom Zone monster Non in Superman 2. He was the illegitimate son of mafia hitman and crime boss Albert Anastasia, a former boxer. He often talks about how he nearly killed Christopher Reeve while making the Superman movies.

In the more minor roles, Terry Shannon is Linda Purl (who was married to Desi Arnaz, Jr. and played Pam’s mom on The Office), David Bowman (the producer of The Headless Eyes!) is Chico Miller, John Miranda is Gus, Mark Costello and Michael Griswold are cops, Fred Ponzlov is a waiter and Gary Greene is a cafe customer.

What happens?

Yes, JB is friends with Piper Laurie, and they go to a tennis match together, only to run into her friend’s ex-husband, Johnny Shannon, who is a total jerk. The daddy issues he’s caused have his daughter sleeping with every tennis player she can find, and it seems that everyone who comes near him hates every second of it. Yes, as you can tell, he’s going to die.

And die he does.

Lieutenant Barnes has just moved to this rich town from Chicago and appreciates Jessica’s the hica, even if she’s not always accurate in her books — or so he says. It’s a locked door mystery, as no one could have gotten in to kill Johnny, even if everyone wanted him dead.

Especially the mob. The mob!

Who did it?

The cop! ACAB! He even has the balls to point a gun at Jessica and say, “You’ve won a prize – a trip to oblivion!” She gets saved by Non, who looks super mean and has a gun. Way to go!

Who made it?

Arthur Allan Seidelman directed this. He also made one of my favorite TV movies, The People Across the Lake, a film where Valerie Harper and Gerald McRaney — hot sex! — are gaslit at a lake house. Also, he made one of the worst movies ever, Hercules in New York. This episode was written by executive story editor Robert Van Scoyk.

Does Jessica get some?

No. Come on!

Does Jessica dress stupidly or act drunk?

No. Come on!

Was it any good?

It’s fine!

Give me a reasonable quote:

Peggy Shannon: Oh, yes, Jess. Please. Anything you can do. I’m sure the sergeant would welcome some help.

Det. Sgt. Barnes: Why not? You’ve covered the subject fairly well in your books, even if you’re not always accurate.

Jessica Fletcher: Well, they are well researched, I assure you, but I have absolutely no intention of… Why do you think my books are inaccurate?

Det. Sgt. Barnes: I’ll tell you all about it on our way to the crime scene.

What’s next?

In the last episode of season 1, one of Jessica’s friends dies. Shocker? Well, there’s more! Show up next week!