This week should have been Murder, She Wrote S3 E8 “Magnum on Ice,” but as that episode starts here in the first crossover between Murder, She Wrote and Magnum, P.I., let’s get into the world of Thomas Magnum.

In case you’ve never watched the show, Thomas Sullivan Magnum IV (Tom Selleck) lives in the Hawaiian guest house of an opulent 200-acre beachfront estate known as Robin’s Nest. At some point, he provided services for its owner, world-famous novelist Robin Masters (voiced by Orson Welles for all but the final time when Red Crandell spoke for the character), and he’s been allowed full run of the estate and use of the author’s Ferrari 308 GTB/GTS in exchange for some nebulous security detail. In between, he takes on cases that rarely pay and often put his life in danger. His arch-nemesis is Jonathan Quayle Higgins III (John Hillerman). Like Magnum, he’s ex-army, but he’s by the book, while our hero is laid-back. He’s in charge of Robin’s estate, patrolling it with his twin Dobermans, Zeus and Apollo. The relationship grows and changes as the series progresses, going from antagonistic to near friendship by the close, as well as the suspicion that Higgins is Robin Masters.

This episode begins with Higgins driving guest Pamela Bates (Dorothy Loudon) to the Robin’s Nest when someone tries to run them off the road. Usually, this is where Magnum would come in, but Pamela wants her mainland friend to take the case. That ends up being Jessica Fletcher. If you see this in syndication, they re-edited it to be a standalone episode. However, this was a two-parter that really did crossover the two different TV shows. Man, I love a crossover ep. In the original version, Magnum catches the killer and, after a gunfight, shoots the man. But then the evidence makes it look like he shot him in the back, so Jessica has to exonerate him.

How about this IMDbs? “Larry Manetti (who played Rick) stated that he did not enjoy working with Angela Lansbury, as she couldn’t be bothered talking to him during filming. Larry got the vibe that Angela felt she was “above” him.”

I always go all in on asking if Jessica has any in her stories. Well, here Jessica Walter, yes, the Bluth family matriarch, is all up in Thomas Magnum’s hairy business. While this episode isn’t the best, it was the Marvel Cinematic Universe for 1980s TV kids, connecting two worlds we never knew could be united.

After a few light entries in the series, “Parlour Floor Front” marks a welcome return to the grim, ironic horror that defined the show’s peak. 

The undisputed highlight here is Adolph Caesar as Mars. Caesar was a titan of the industry, legendary for his booming, authoritative baritone. While he is immortalized as the voice of the United Negro College Fund’s “A mind is a terrible thing to waste” campaign and dozens of iconic movie trailers, his on-screen presence was equally formidable (earning an Oscar nod for A Soldier’s Story).

In this episode, he radiates a quiet, dangerous dignity. As the long-term tenant of a stunning apartment, Linda (Donna Bullock) sees him not as a human being, but as an obstacle to her plan. She is the quintessential 80s social climber, willing to use psychological warfare to get what she wants. Her husband, Doug (John Calonius), is happy for the help that Mars gives him in fixing up the place. But she keeps pushing, not knowing that the old man does voodoo and should not be treated this poorly.

Richard Friedman, who directed this episode, also made Phantom of the Mall, Doom Asylum and Scared Stiff. This episode was written by Carole Lucia Satrina, who scripted three of Cannon’s fairy tale films: Puss in Boots, Red Riding Hood and Beauty and the Beast.

This has a fantastic ending, and it’s nice to see the series return to horror rather than silliness.

A veteran reporter who suffered a heart attack says his best medicine would be the removal of his publisher. Jessica gets involved after the man ends up dead.

A veteran reporter who suffered a heart attack says his best medicine would be the removal of his publisher. Jessica gets involved after the man ends up dead.

Season 3, Episode 7: Deadline for Murder (November 16, 1985)

Reporter Haskell Drake (Harry Guardino) has a heart attack after his editor, Lamar Bennett (Peter Mark Richman), rewrites his interview with Jessica. He flips out, Bennett drops dead, and then the reporter asks Jessica to solve it. I mean, is it a heart attack or murder?

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury (and Jarry Guardino)?

Katherine Cannon is Eleanor Revere. She’s in The Hidden.

Lt. A. Caruso is played by Gretchen Corbett. She was in The Rockford Files TV movies.

Tim O’Connor plays Walter Revere, Dr. Elias on Buck Rogers.

Ken Olin from Thirtysomething is Perry Revere.

Eugene Roche is Billy Simms.

William Smith! He’s Clyde Thorson! William Smith makes everything better!

Glynn Turman plays Stan Lassiter.

In more minor roles, Sydney Walsh is Kay Garrett, Tom Henschel is Dr. Framer, Morgan Jones is Sergeant Tierney, Mary Wickliffe is Nurse Phillips, Lisa Nelson is a policewoman, Dorothy Meyer is Nurse O’Hanlon, Matt Roe is a guard, and Erwin Fuller is Harry. Barbara Allyne Bennet is a secretary. Party guests are played by Robert Buckingham, Fritz Ford, Robert Hitchcock, Ethelreda Leopold, Mike Paciorek, Anthony Pecoraro, George Sasaki, Walter Smith and Geoff Vanderstock. Frank Slaten is an assistant, Steve Hershon is a waiter, Donald Chaffin is a reporter, and Freeman Love and Len Felber are detectives.

What happens?

Lamar Bennett bought the Sentinel, a newspaper, and consistently mocks the individuals who miss the days when it wasn’t a tabloid. He’s done this to tons of other papers, and this demoralizes Drake so much that he doesn’t want to live until Bennett dies, and he gets the chance to investigate with Jessica doing the in-person snooping.

It could be any of the reporters who want him dead. But it looks like…

Who did it?

Bennett’s assistant, Billy Simms, who knew about his illegitimate daughter Kay, took care of her for her entire life, all before Billy informed his boss who she really is and demanded that he fire her. Billy has enough and…well, that’s how we get to this episode’s death.

Who made it?

This was directed by Seymour Robbie and written by John Kennedy, Michael McGough and Tom Sawyer.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid? Does she get some?

No. She needs to find the right costume party that also has everyone put their keys out, if you know what I mean.

Was it any good?

Sure.

Any trivia?

This is the first of two appearances by Harry Guardino as Haskell Drake.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Haskell Drake: I have been offered a big overseas assignment in Hong Kong, Singapore and Bangkok…

Jessica Fletcher: Oh. Haskell Drake: …by Newmonth, no less.

Jessica Fletcher: Haskell, that’s marvelous. When?

Haskell Drake: Oh, well, um, a-as soon as you hand me my trousers. And by the way, you can tag along if you want to. I figure that, uh, a couple of years of, uh, hard work, who knows, you may turn into a half-decent newspaperman.

What’s next?

YES! YES! YES! Jessica comes to the assistance of Thomas Magnum when he’s framed for two murders that occurred during her vacation in Hawaii!

NCIS (Naval Criminal Investigative Service) is about the police who handle criminal investigations involving the United States Navy and Marine Corps. Based at the Washington Navy Yard in Washington, D.C., the NCIS team is led by Supervisory Special Agent Alden Parker (Gary Cole). 22 seasons? How about there are two spin-offs on the air: NCIS: Origins and NCIS: Sydney.

Parker works alongside Timothy McGee (Sean Murray), Nick Torres (Wilmer Valderrama), Jessica Knight (Katrina Law), Dr. Jimmy Palmer (Brian Dietzen), Kasie Hines (Diona Reasonover) and Leon Vance (Rocky Carroll). This season has a recurring villain, Carla Marino (Rebecca De Mornay), the mob boss of the Kansas City mob. Plus, there are appearances by Laura San Giacomo, Donna Mills, Shari Belafonte, and LL Cool J, who is NCIS Senior Field Agent Sam Hanna.

I’ve watched this show from time to time, and it’s cool that they still mention characters like Ducky. I’m a big lover of continuity, so it’s nice to still have this on the air.

Just starting its second season on CBS, Watson stars Morris Chestnut as Dr. Watson in a modern version of one of history’s greatest detectives. Instead of crime, he solves medical mysteries. 

A year after Holmes’s (Robert Carlyle) apparent death at the hands of his archenemy Moriarty (Randall Park) at Reichenbach Falls, Watson opens the Holmes Clinic of Diagnostic Medicine in Pittsburgh — right dahntahn near The Pitt? — to treat patients with strange and unidentifiable issues. But is Moriarty still alive?

Created by Craig Sweeny, who also made Limitless and The Code, I like how this moves Watson from a moron, as he often appears in adaptations, to the hero. He has a team that includes neurologist  Dr. Ingrid Derian (Eve Harlow), identical twins Drs. Stephens Croft and Adam (both played by Peter Mark Kendall), who are constantly fighting because Adam is dating Stephens’ ex-fiancée, Dr. Sasha Lubbock (Inga Schlingmann), former criminal Shinwell Johnson (Richie Coster) and Watson’s ex-wife, surgeon Dr. Mary Morstan (Rochelle Aytes). Holmes founded this clinic so that after he died, Watson would have something to do with his life.

Cases include fatal insomnia, Cowden syndrome, a bullet stuck in a brain, QT syndrome, sickle cell anemia and more. By the end of the season, it’s revealed that Holmes didn’t die, and the show references a Pittsburgh mystery and a third-act surprise.

I kind of like it when Holmes is moved to modern times, and I’m interested in seeing where this series goes!

Theodore Gershuny wrote 2 episodes of Monsters and 6 of this series, as well as directing and writing Silent Night, Deadly Night. Also: I will be jealous of him forever, as he was married to Mary Woronov.

This episode has some star power, as John Heard plays death-row inmate Billy Malone, who tells the story of how he opened a portal to another dimension using a silver hoop he found in his basement. Out of that opening walks Keena (Penelope Ann Miller in her first part), whom he falls in love with, only for Jimbo (Greg Thornton) to nearly ruin it all by getting him busted for murder after using the silver ring to steal anything he wants.

The reviews online are divided between those who love the romance and those who think it’s the worst episode of the series. I tend more toward the former. 

A group of young treasure hunters comes to Cabot Cove looking for sunken treasure, and one of them ends up dead.

Season 3, Episode 6: Dead Man’s Gold (November 9, 1985)

When a former boyfriend, David Everett (Leslie Nielsen), turns up in Cabot Cove on an expedition for long-lost gold, JB finds that more lies beneath the surface than simply sunken treasure. Jessica will need to ignore her old feelings, her secret garden and the passion between her New England thighs to solve this.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury (and Leslie Nielsen)?

Sheriff Amos Tupper? You know that’s Tom Bosley. William Windom is also back as Dr. Seth Hazlitt.

Larry Gaynes is played by Grant Goodeve, who also played David Bradford on Eight Is Enough.

Robert Hogan plays Dr. Wylie Graham, the first of four appearances on the show.

Susan Ainsley is played by Wendy Kilbourne.

Bill Ainsley is played by John Laughlin.

Ross Barber is Sean McClory. He was in Them!

Alexandra Bell is played by Julia Montgomery, who played Betty Childs from Revenge of the Nerds.

Coby Russell is played by J. Eddie Peck.

Gregory Small is Ian Ruskin.

What happens?

Jessica is surprised to see David sail into town. She felt a flutter for him 35 years ago, but she was married to Frank. Now Frank is in Heaven — we hope — and he’s looking down on his wife and wondering, will the man who played Frank Drebin show her his naked gun?

Meanwhile, retired Navy seaman Dr. Wylie Graham takes his yacht to hang out in Cabot Cove with Dr. Seth, and I one hundred percent believe Jessica is Dr. Seth’s ally, which is the PC way of saying it, but you knew I’d use euphemisms like Goldilocks or flame dame.

As for David, he’s working with four young people who have discovered an 18th-century treasure ship. Things go, well, all Murder, She Wrote as Bill Ainsley, the diver, has his equipment screwed with and nearly dies. Alexandra gets drunk and gets into a fight with Coby, which leads to him dropping her off with cab fare, just in time to get run over. It turns out she really died from a blow to the skull, and everyone thinks David, in deep with loan sharks, did it to get her money.

Who did it?

Susan, who was treated as an airhead by everyone else, killed Alex and framed Coby. Her husband is shocked, shocked, I tell you, that all this name-calling would lead to murder.

Who made it?

This was directed by Seymour Robbie and written by Robert Van Scoyk. Cinematographer Emil Oster did the camera on The 5,000 Fingers of Dr. T.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid? Does she get some?

No. At the end, David sails away but promises to send her a postcard.

This inspired me to write a song.

Jessica (set to the tune of “Brandy” by Looking Glass

There’s a mystery in a harbor town,

Typewriters type when the sun goes down

JB’s got that knowing smile,

Eyes that say she’s cracked the case a long time ago.

They gather round at Dixon’s Diner,

Sheriff Amos and Dr. Seth.

They wonder why every time she meets someone

Somebody ends up dead

Cabot Cove says Jessica, you’re a clever girl

What a deadly wife you would be

Yeah, you could pick out who killed me

JB wears a jogging suit

For her morning run

Then she writes murder books

That bears her husband’s name

He came on a warm summer’s day

Chasing legends, sunken gold

But the look in his eyes said he couldn’t stay

And the part was Leslie Nielsen’s to play

Cabot Cove says Jessica, you’re a clever girl

What a deadly wife you would be

Yeah, you could pick out who killed me

Yeah, Jessica used to watch his eyes when he told his killer’s story

She could feel the alibi fade away, no worry

These killers never say to the truth, never an honest man

And JB solves all the cases that she can

In the morning, when the alarm sounds

Jessica jogs through a New England town

And loves a man who’s not around

That’s because her husband is dead.

She hears him say, “Jessica, you’re a clever girl.”

“What a good wife you would be.”

“But my life, my love, and my lady killed me.”

Was it any good?

Sure. Not great, but good.

Any trivia?

We learn that Jessica has sisters and that her maiden name is McGill.

Dr. Wylie Graham in season 3, episode 9.

Give me a reasonable quote:

David Everett: Jessie MacGill, goodbye… Perhaps I’ll drop you a postcard from time to time.

Jessica Fletcher: Seems you’re always sailing away.

David Everett: I never said I was smart.

What’s next?

A veteran reporter who suffered a heart attack says his best medicine would be the removal of his publisher, who ends up dead.

Frank De Palma directed eight episodes of this series, and Michael Kube-McDowell wrote four; this time, they’re telling the story of Ben Martin (Bill Macy, Maude’s husband), a man whose workaholic nature is soon putting his life in danger. Insurance salesman Harry Harris (Robert Riesel) offers him a device called the Lifebomb, which will keep him alive despite the fact that he could have a heart attack at any moment. Ben’s wife, Lianne (Samantha Harper, who was married to Macy at the time), thinks this will lead him to take a look at his life and fix things. Instead, it just makes him work harder.

By the end, Ben keeps having heart attacks and his wife leaves him, but the Lifebomb keeps him alive, as he’s stuck with needles and filled with drugs and covered by wires and tubes. What kind of life is that? Well, he’s going to figure it out because it looks like he can’t die.

I’ve seen some negative reviews of this episode, and it makes me think: This show is 20 minutes long. What do you lose when an episode isn’t that great? Not much time, and at least it has an interesting idea at the heart of it.

Jessica gets involved when her niece, Victoria, is believed to be connected to the murder of her lecherous boss.

Season 3, Episode 5: Corned Beef and Carnage (November 2, 1985)

Jessica’s planned get-together with her niece Victoria (Genie Francis, last seen in season 1’s “Birds of a Feather“) and her husband Howard goes bad when the murder of Victoria’s ex-boss, Larry Kinkaid, happens, and Victoria is the prime suspect.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury (and Genie Francis)?

Christine Clifford is played by Susan Anton, Susan Williams from Cliffhangers!

Warren Berlinger — the second actor in this other than Anton to be in a Cannonball Run film — is Jim Ingram.

Kenickie himself, Jeff Conaway, plays Howard Griffin. He was also in  season 1’s “Birds of a Feather.”

Peter Haskell was in Child’s Play 2 and 3. He’s Leland Biddle in this show.

Larry Dallas, is that you? Yes. It’s Richard Kline from Three’s Company as Larry Kinkaid.

As for Myron Kinkaid, that’s Maude’s husband, Bill Macy.

The law in this story, Lt. Spoletti, is James Sloyan.

David Ogden Stiers was in three episodes of this show and one TV movie. All different roles; this time, he’s Aubrey Thornton.

Grover Barth is a wild name. That character is Ken Swofford.

Polly Barth is played by The Simpsons voice and Bob Newhart Show cast member Marcia Wallace.

Smaller roles are played by Ted Smile, Paul King, Marleta Giles, David Starwalt, Russ Fega and Phil Rubenstein.

What happens?

Howard and Victoria both work for Mr. Kinkaid and hate it. They haven’t told one another, because they want the best for their spouses. But when Kinkaid wants Victoria to sleep with a client, she decides enough is enough. Soon, Kinkaid is killed with an award — one he didn’t earn, but his employees did –, and she’s the top suspect.

Jessica Fletcher visits you and people die.

But hey — I’ve worked in advertising. I’ve had bosses like Kinkaid. So I’m not surprised someone takes him out. But who?

Who did it?

Aubrey Thornton, who does what everyone else really wanted to do.

Who made it?

This was directed by John Llewellyn Moxey and written by Robert E. Swanson.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

No. This makes me upset, as how is she going to get some if she doesn’t put on her drunk outfit or do an accent?

Was it any good?

It’s alright. A bad Murder, She Wrote is like pizza. No matter what, it’s still pizza.

Any trivia?

David Ogden Stiers and Angela Lansbury worked together in Beauty and the Beast as Cogsworth and Mrs. Potts.

This case is mentioned in S4 E3 “Witness for the Defense.”

Give me a reasonable quote:

Lt. Spoletti: Why is it I always figure gorgeous blondes are lying to me?

What’s next?

A group of young treasure hunters comes to Cabot Cove looking for sunken treasure, and one of them ends up dead. Also: Leslie Neisen comes back, and the sexual tension between him and Angela Lansbury is volcanic. Will they finally pound it out? Come back next week.

Thanks to everyone who voted on what horror anthology I should get to next. I only finished the first season of Tales from the Darkside, so that seems to be a good one to cover. 

Let’s just say that the U.S. government has taken Hoffgosh (Claudia Templeton, whose career is a mix of acting in low-budget movies and being an accountant on them), an alien who holds the secret to nuclear fusion and can’t communicate with him. Who would you get? How about nightclub impressionist Spiffy Remo (Chuck McCann)?

The interesting part of this episode is that, after failing so many times to impersonate the alien’s language and build a bond, Spiffy finally does. That comes at the cost of caring about his stage material, as after you meet an alien and pull off a miracle, doing hack jokes for drunk gamblers just isn’t the same.

Jack Andreozzi, Tony from Lady In White, is in this as nightclub owner Pudgy; Bobby Di Cicco and Gene Borkan play the government scientists. This was directed by Armand Mastroianni (The Clairvoyant, He Knows You’re Alone, The Supernaturals) and written by Haskell Barkin (who was on this, Monsters and the 1980s Twilight Zone) and was based on a story by M. Coleman Easton.