EDITOR’S NOTE: This article originally was on the site on January 29, 2019. It has been updated for Arnold week.
You know what they say. If you can’t get John Milius, grab the dude who directed Mandingo, Soylent Green and the Neil Diamond remake version of The Jazz Singer, Richard Fleischer. That’s exactly what Dino and Raffaella De Laurentiis did here. It makes sense, though, as Fleischer had also directed The Vikings, one of the films that had inspired Milius as he created Conan the Barbarian.
This time, however, gore was out and humor was in. That said, the original story is by Roy Thomas and Gerry Conway, the comic book writers who were behind so many of Conan’s Marvel Comics stories.
Conan (Schwarzenegger) and his companion, the thief Malak (Tracy Walter, Bob the Goon from Batman) are tested by Queen Taramis (Sarah Douglas, Ursa from SupermanII). She has a quest for him and should he succeed, she will bring Valeria back from the dead. He must escort Jehnna, the queen’s virginal niece, to restore the horn of the dreaming god Dagoth (yes, Conan and HP Lovecraft aren’t far removed).
Our heroes are joined by basketball star Wilt Chamberlain as Bombaata, the leader of the royal guard, who has orders to kill Conan as soon as the gem is secured. To combat the wizard who has the gem, Conan brings back Akiro the Wizard (Mako) from the last movie. And soon, they save Zula (Grace Jones!) from some villagers and she joins their quest.
They come to the castle of Thoth-Amon, who is played by former pro wrestler “Judo” Pat Roach. Roach is in a ton of movies that you know and love and you know exactly who he is, but may not know him by name. He’s the flying wing mechanic in Raiders of the Last Ark, the bouncer in A Clockwork Orange and General Kael in Willow. He turns into a giant bird and kidnaps Jehnna and then turns into a monkey man inside a hall of mirrors. His death destroys the entire castle. This whole sequence makes the movie!
When they return, Taramis’ guards attack (Sven-Ole Thorsen, who played Thorgrim in the first film is one of them, this time called Togra), but Bombaata claims to have no idea why. Jehna starts to fall for Conan, but he explains his devotion to Valeria to her. Soon after, they learn that Jehna will be sacrificed to awaken Dagoth, who is played by Andre the Giant!
Everything works out for Conan and he decides to leave his companions behind for further adventures. Sadly, despite years of promising, no new Arnold starring film has reached the silver screen.
Despite this being a toned down film, it’s packed with great scenes. If only it was all as awesome as the sequences where Conan battles Thoth-Amon, including the mirror battle. Still, it’s way better than Red Sonja and any Conan project that would follow.
Between the two Sinister films, The Exorcism of Emily Rose and Deliver Us From Evil— hey even Urban Legends: Final Cut and Hellraiser: Inferno, I’ve liked Scott Derrickson’s films. I also allowed myself to get beyond hyped for this movie and it seemed like it would be forever before it was released in theaters. It premiered all the way back at Fantastic Fest in September of last year and then was held until the summer season as it tested so well.
Sadly, I shouldn’t have allowed myself to get so excited.
The Black Phone is about Finney (Mason Thames), a teenager trying to escape a masked serial abductor and killer called The Grabber (Ethan Hawke) by using a disconnected phone on which he can speak to the teens who have not been so lucky.
And I realized maybe twenty minutes into this that this would have made a great episode of a show or piece of an anthology, but there’s no attempt at stretching or filling in the story beats beyond the hackneyed. Worse, the production’s slavish obsession with It — I get it, Steven King’s son is Joe Hill, who wrote the original short story — keeps reminding you of other films other than moving on and making something fresh and new.
Look, I prefer my Michael Myers with no backstory, but when you set up The Grabber as someone with seemingly so fascinating a tale to tell and deliver next to nothing, well…why does he wear those cool Tom Savini masks? You won’t ever find out. The great James Ransone as his goofy brother who is trying to solve the Grabber’s identity? Seemingly from another movie.
This felt like it was doing its best to not be Prisoners, a movie about abducted children and how it impacts their parents that stands heads and shoulders above this. What it does have is some great cinematography by Brett Jutkiewicz and well-realized sound design that pushes this away from being just another thriller — at least in looks — than the rather flimsy film that we’re left behind with. There’s also an astonishing amount of teen on teen violence in this, which places it in a much different world than other films. That’s appreciated. I just wish that this movie felt like it had a purpose for being; it feels so gorgeous on the outside and frightfully free of any content within. From everything I saw before, I felt promised so much more than this slight trifle. a
If you hear that the very basic description of the new Japanese fantasy/comedy Popran is “a man’s penis disappears, flies around as fast as 200 kph, and he has six days to capture it or will lose it forever,” and are expecting merely 96 minutes of humor that ranges only from the sophomoric to the Rabelaisian, chances are you haven’t seen writer/director Shin’ichirô Ueda’s previous films One Cut of the Dead and Special Actors. Like those films, his latest effort starts out with a zany premise and finds warmth and poignancy in its protagonist’s journey.
What sets Popran apart from Ueda’s two aforementioned films is that it arguably follows a clearer path and focuses less on big reveals than its predecessors. That’s not to say that the film doesn’t offer its share of surprises, though.
Tatsuya Tagami (Yoji Minagawa) is the head of a profit-motivated manga app that eschews original work in favor of sticking to tried and true favorites. To get to where he is, he burned several bridges, including with his ex-wife and their child, his parents, and an ex–business-partner.
Tagami wakes up one morning to find that his penis has vanished, and he is left only with a small hole for urination. By chance, he learns about a group of men who have suffered the same fate, and that their penises and testicles have become “Poprans” — flying objects that roam freely in the skies of Japan. He’ll have to do some soul searching while looking high and low for his genitals.
Ueda takes the Hero’s Journey concept and runs with it, adding a large dash of dramedy dealing with regret, and humor that includes the uncomfortable and the whimsical. The director follows his own unique path in his work, and Popran is another fine flight of fancy from a highly imaginative and original cinematic voice.
Popran screens as part of Fantasia, which takes place in Montreal from July 14–August 3, 2022. For more information, visit https://fantasiafestival.com/en/
After a 1972 photo assignment to cover the Mr. Universe Championship for Life magazine, George Butler wanted to make a documentary about what he’d experienced. It took forever to convince investors to come on board, because who wanted to watch muscleheads pose and listen to a heavily accented man speak?
The original plan was to take actor Bud Cort and have Arnold Schwarzenegger train him, but it just didn’t work. Instead, the documentary started to focus on the bodybuilders — who at that time were seen as a freak sow — training at Gold’s Gym.
Like all documentaries, an angle was decided on: Schwarzenegger would become the charismatic villain and Lou Ferrigno the underdog trying to beat him. The problem is, Arnold ends up being so likable, no matter what he said, that people ended up loving him. Well, it’s not really a problem per se…
Anyways, the other battle was between Mike Katz and Ken Waller, lifelong friends who were simply pranking one another. Waller stealing Katz’s shirt ended up getting him booed at contests for the rest of his life.
After finishing the Mr. Olympia contest, the film was in development hell for two years. To raise funds, Butler had Butler an exhibit at the Whitney Museum of American Art in New York City where the bodybuilders — including Arnold — acted as living sculptures. This got the movie made.
The film follows the lives and workout routines of these bodybuilders. Its main narrative is the difference between Arnold and Lou: Schwarzenegger works out in public at Gold’s Gym and Muscle Beach while Ferrigno trains with his father in a dark basement. Arnold is always with women, Lou is with his family. Arnold brags non-stop; Lou is quiet and reserved. Arnold uses psychological warfare while Lou just believes in hard work.
We also meet Arnold’s training partner Franco Columbu and see several of the other competitions within Mr. Universe, as well as Arnold outright mentally terrorizing Lou during a friendly breakfast and backstage. And you know, we should be kind to everyone and not be bullies but damn it if I don’t love Arnold the most of any actor and would let him punch me repeatedly in the stomach if he asked. He wouldn’t even have to ask nicely.
Co-directed with Robert Fiore, Butler’s co-writer Charles Gaines — also the narrator of the film — wrote the book where Pumping Iron gets its name. A writer of outdoor sports, an active believer in the conservation movement and the inventor of paintball, Gaines has led a fascinating life.
The movie that pretty much cemented the fact that Arnold was going to one day rule Hollywood — even if he made up the story about skipping his father’s funeral — this movie remains quotable and always because of Arnold: “Can you believe how much I am in heaven? I am getting the feeling of coming in a gym, I’m getting the feeling of coming at home, I’m getting the feeling of coming backstage when I pump up, when I pose in front of 5,000 people, I get the same feeling, so I am coming day and night. I mean, it’s terrific. Right? So you know, I am in heaven.”
The film ends with Arnold smoking a joint and eating fried chicken after winning Mr. Olympia. Does it get any better than that without crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you, and hearing the lamentations of their women?
One more line from Arnold: “Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.”
EDITOR’S NOTE: This was originally on the site way back in January 28, 2019. It’s one of my favorite movies and the reason why so many other great sword and sorcery movies got made.
When Robert E. Howard created Conan, it was popular for its time as a pulp character. By the time of his creator’s suicide in 1936, Conan had appeared in 21 complete stories, 17 of which had been published, as well as a number of unfinished tales. After years of the copyright to the character passing around, Lancer released a series of paperbacks with dynamic Frank Frazetta covers that introduced the Cimmerian barbarian to an entirely new audience.
In 1970, Marvel Comics began adapting the Howard tales, arguably increasing the reach of the character even further than the original books. Then, in 1975, Edward R. Pressman (who also produced Christmas Evil) and Edward Summer started working on getting the books onto the silver screen. They had Oliver Stone writing it and Arnold Schwarzenegger for the lead, but couldn’t get major studios interested.
However, in 1979, they sold the project to Dino De Laurentiis and John Milius was picked as the director. Combining several Howard stories, the filming took place in Spain and the entire film was based on Frazetta’s artwork. After a year of editing — and plenty of gore being cut out — the film was released to $100 million dollars of box office, which increased thanks to home video and cable. Some don’t consider it a blockbuster, but how else would there so many ripoffs released in its wake?
The film begins with a sword being forged by a blacksmith who shows it to his son, the young Conan, and tells him the Riddle of Steel. To sum it up, “Flesh grows weak. Steel becomes brittle. But the will is indomitable”. He tells his son that everyone will fail him, but he can always count on steel.
The Cimmerians are soon murdered by a band of warriors led by Thulsa Doom (James Earl Jones). This villain is a combination of several Howard characters. While his name comes from one of Kull of Atlantis’ villains, he is similar to Thoth-Amon, leading an army of suicidal warriors devoted to their king.
Conan’s father is killed by dogs and his sword is given to Doom, who hypnotizes and then beheads Conan’s mom (Nadiuska, who was also in Guyana: Cult of the Damned) in front of him. Our hero is then sold into slavery, chained to a mill stone known as the Wheel of Pain. While other children die, Conan lives to become a monster of a man, consigned to the gladiator pits and used as a stud to create more soldiers. Yet Conan becomes a favorite of the men he has been sold to and is educated in the East before being freed.
Conan wanders the world as a free man, finding an ancient sword and meeting a witch who gives him a prophecy of his future. This scene kinda blows my mind, because Conan is so good at having sex that he turns the witch into a demon and then throws her into the fire. That’s how good Conan is in the sack.
Conan befriends Subotai (surfing legend Gerry Lopez), a Hyrkanian thief, and Valeria, a female mercenary. Her name comes from Conan’s companion in the story “Red Nails”, while her personality and fate are based on Bêlit, the pirate queen of “Queen of the Black Coast.” She’s played by Sandahl Bergman, who is also in She, a totally ridiculous movie that I want more people to love as much as me.
In the city of Zamora, the trio steal from the Tower of Serpents and Valeria and Conan seal their union by making love. Soon, they’re captured by the soldiers of King Osrić (Max von Sydow), who only ask that three bring back his daughter. Subotai and Valeria refuse, but Conan’s hatred of Doom sends him to the Temple of Set.
There, he’s captured and tortured, as Doom insults his family and crucifies him on the Tree of Woe. Before our hero dies, Subotai rescues him and brings him to Akiro, the Wizard of the Mounds. He’s played by Mako, who was also the voice of Master Splinter in 2007’s Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The wizard summons demons that heal our hero but extract a heavy toll that Valeria agrees to pay.
Finally, our heroes go back to Doom’s temple and unleash their full vengeance. However, Doom himself becomes a giant snake and slithers away, because this movie is both insane and awesome. As the trio rides away, Doom shoots Valeria with a snake arrow and she dies in Conan’s arms, paying the toll that the wizard warned her about.
She is burned at the Mounds. As Conan stares at the fire, having lost the love of his life, Subotai cries for his friend, explaining that “A Cimmerian won’t cry, so I cry for him.” How is a film so testosterone and gore filled so poetic at times?
Our hero lays waste to Doom’s troops and when Rexor (former Oakland Raider Ben Davidson, who also played the bouncer in Behind the Green Door), one of the largest of them, almost kills him Valeria reappears as a valkyrie to save him for the briefest of seconds. Subotai saves the princess and Conan finds his father’s sword and breaks it in combat. Look for Sven Ole Thorsen in this too as Thorgrim. Sven has dated Grace Jones since 1990, but has been in an open relationship with her since 2007. He’s also in Conan the Destroyer and The Running Man.
That night, Conan comes back to the Temple and is greeted with open arms by Doom, who tries to mentally stop him. Conan resists and beheads his enemy with his father’s broken sword. He has solved the Riddle of Steel: you must become the steel and only rely upon yourself.
Conan burns down the Temple of Set and returns the princess to her father. The movie then shows us Conan on the throne of an empire, letting us know that one day he will rule the entire land.
No one could play Conan but Arnold, who started growing his hair in 1979 for this part. He trained for this movie like he did for his bodybuilding competitions: weapons training, martial arts training, horse riding lessons, even sword fighting with an 11-pound broadsword two hours a day for three months, as well as how to fall and roll from 15-foot drops. He also got 5% of the movie’s profits, a pretty hefty sum.
I love this movie. I adore the fact that Conan doesn’t speak until 20 minutes into the film and doesn’t speak for the last 20 minutes either. It’s awesome that Valeria is just as strong of a fighter — and maybe even stronger in spirit — as Conan. Every 80’s sword and sorcery movie is in debt to this, as much as Arnold claims that his performance is owed to peplum star Steve Reeves.
EDITOR’S NOTE: This was originally on the site on August 15, 2020. Happy birthday all week Arnold. You are loved, almost as much as Jayne.
Dick Lowry has worked in made-for-TV movies for some time, working on many projects with Kenny Rogers (The Gambler, The Coward of the County) and connected movies like In the Line of Duty and Jessie Stone, as well as the Project ALF TV movie reunion and Archie: To Riverdale and Back Again.
Based on the Martha Saxton book Jayne Mansfield and the American Fifties, this is — at best — a fictionalized accounting of her life. John Wilson’s book The Official Razzie Movie Guide as one of The 100 Most Enjoyably Bad Movies Ever Made.
Arnold Schwarzenegger — four years before The Terminator — plays Mansfield’s second husband Mickey Hargitay, who is telling a reporter the story of her life. Mansfield is played by Loni Anderson, who is perhaps the worst person — outside of bust line — to play her. She just seems wrong, from how she approaches the role to look. Maybe she identified with Jayne, seeing as how she started as a sex symbol and struggled to get her intelligence across. I’m not really sure, but it just doesn’t work.
Ray Buktenica plays her manager Bob Garrett. Buktenica was best known as Benny Goodwin, the rollerskating toll-booth working boyfriend of Brenda Morgenstern on Rhoda. Also in the cast are Kathleen Lloyd (who memorably is killed by The Car as it flies through her kitchen window) as Carol Sue Peters and G. D. Spradlin, who mostly plays cops in movies, as Gerald Conway.
Jayne Marie Mansfield is played by Laura Jacoby, who beyond being in Radis also Scott Jacoby’s sister. The younger version of the character was played by Deirdre Hoffman, Anderson’s daughter.
If you look close enough, Lewis Arquette — the man whose loins gave the world Rosanna, Patricia, Alexis, Richmond and David — shows up as a publicity man.
There were no fact checkers in 1980. After all, how can you explain a movie that purports to tell the life story of Mansfield report that she was 36 when she died when the truth is that she was 34? Or that Jayne is shown making Las Vegas Hillbillys which is supposed to be a Western, which it is not, much less the fact that it was made two years after she and Mickey were actually divorced, yet they are married here? Shouldn’t that be The Sheriff of Fractured Jaw? And while we’re on the matter of facts, how great is it when Jayne is getting a new convertible sometime in the mid-1950s, you can clearly see a 1980 Honda Civic roll by?
Much like how Jayne is dying to play the lead in The Jean Harlow Story, Valerie Perrine wanted this role. Surely she would have done better than imitating the worst vocal tics of Mansfield and none of the brains behind the glamour. Also, of all people to narrate this movie, Arnold in 1980 would not be the person I’d pick.
Known in Australia and the UK as Cactus Jack, this Hal Needham-directed movie — written by Robert G. Kane, who often came up with jokes for Dean Martin’s Celebrity Roast — The Villain is a live-action Road Runner cartoon.
After getting an inheritance from her father Parody (Strother Martin), Charming Jones (Ann-Margret) is under the protection of a Handsome Stranger (Arnold Schwarzenegger) — wearing all of the Lone Ranger costume except for the mask — as she travels the west. The man who delivered all the money to her, Avery Simpson (Jack Elam), wants it all to himself so he hires Cactus Jack Slade (Kirk Douglas) and Nervous Elk (Paul Lynde) to get it. Handsome Stranger wants nothing to do romantically with Ms. Jones, but Cactus Jack is another story.
With Mel Tillis, Ruth Buzzi, Foster Brooks and bad guy of bad guys Robert Tessier in the cast, this was definitely made for me, no matter how silly it becomes.
Needham worked with Douglas before, acting as his stunt double for In Harm’s Way, The War Wagon and The Way West. And if you didn’t get it, the character Avery Jones is a reference to cartoon creators Tex Avery and Chuck Jones.
Even better, the saloon in this movie, Bandit’s Hangout, has the painting from Jerry Reed’s truck as its sign.
Milton Parker (Vincent Price) an eccentric game inventor — get it? — dies after losing a video game battle against with his nurse (Carol Wayne, a former Matinée Lady on Art Fern’s Tea Time Movieon The Tonight Show; she came to a mysterious end when after an argument with companion Edward Durston during a vacation, she walked alone down the beach outside Las Hadas Resort in Manzanillo, Colima, Mexico. Her drowning in a shallow bay — with no drugs in her system — was ruled accidental).
Lawyer Charles Bernstein (Robert Morley) explains the will to Parker’s greedy relatives and in keeping with his life’s work, whatever team wins the scavenger hunt will inherit the $200 million estate.
The teams are:
Parker’s widowed son-in-law Henry Motley (Tony Randall) and his kids Jennifer (Missy Francis, a former Fox News anchor who won a $15 million settlement in a pay dispute in 2022), Michelle (Julie Anne Haddock, who was in the first season of The Facts of Life and played the superpowered Amadonna in the Wonder Woman episode “The Girl from Ilandia”), Jason (David Hollander) and Scott (Shane Sinutko).
Parker’s staff, which includes chef Henri (James Coco), his maid Babbette (Stephanie Faracy, When You Comin’ Back, Red Ryder?), Jenkins the valet (Roddy McDowall) and Jackson the limo driver (Cleavon Little, Sheriff Bart from Blazing Saddles).
On his own taxi driver Marvin Dummitz (Richard Mulligan).
Parker’s widowed sister Mildred Carruthers (Cloris Leachman), her son Georgie (Richard Masur, Nick Lobo from Rhoda) and their attorney Stuart Sellsome (Richard Benjamin).
Parker’s nephews Kenny and Jeff Stevens (Willie Aames — who gets a song on the soundtrack, “You’re the Only One That I Ever Needed” — and Dirk Benedict, for the ladies) and Mildred’s step-daughter Lisa (Maureen Teefy, Grease 2, Supergirl and 1941, so no luck at all, huh? She’s also in the strange Star Time).
Under the supervision of Bernstein and his scorekeeper Cornfeld (Hal Landon, Jr.), the teams are all given a list of clues to find a hundred items all worth 5 to 100 points. Nothing can be bought and all must be brought back to the estate by 5 p.m. that day.
The staff must steal a cash register from a convenience store, a microscope from a lab and a toilet from a 5 starhotel, while Mildred, Stuart and Georgie try to get a stuffed bear. Their adventure nearly ends when a biker named Scum (Meat Loaf) knocks out the lawyer. Kenny, Jeff and Lisa need to get a Jack in the Box head from a drive-thru (product placement, anyone?), as well as grab a large man named Duane (Not Necessarily the News‘ Stuart Pankin), as well as Ruth Gordon’s bulletproof vest, a cop’s uniform, some nitrous oxide and a football helmet. Dummitz lives up to his name, failing repeatedly to get anything before being joined by another perhaps even worse off person, Sam (Scatman Crothers), who puts on a suit of armor and promptly gets run over. As for Motley, he must find a beehive, a life preserver and a parachute, which he’ll need when gym instructor Lars (Arnold Schwarzenegger) launches him out a window in the pursuit of a medicine ball.
Somehow, every team steals one of zookeeper Avery Schreiber’s ostriches. By the way, an ostrich group, called a herd, numbers about 12 individuals.
I won’t spoil the ending for you, but if you like big dumb 70s comedies — they had a thing back then about putting way too many people in their movies and I totally forgot to mention that Robert Morley (Theater of Blood), Stephen Furst (who is probably wondering if he’s back in Midnight Madness, which might be the same movie; Disney felt similary and delayed the release of that movie because of this film), comedian Pat McCormick, Liz Torres, Henry Polic II, Marji Martin, Jerado Decordovier, Emory Bass and Byron Webster are in this — then you’ll probably enjoy this.
Amazingly, this was all directed by Michael Schultz — which explains why perhaps Scatman Crothers gets the biggest part of the endgame and this makes me happy — a black filmmaker whose resume includes standouts like Cooley High, Krush Groove, Disorderlies, The Last Dragon, Car Wash and the movie that nearly ended his career and was followed up here, Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band. The script was by John Thompson, producer Steven Vail and Gerry Woolery, who did the animated titles for Mannequin and Loverboy as well as the animation for one of Jim Carrey’s first acting roles, the animation-themed and short-lived series The Duck Factory.
Arnold Schwarzenegger won a Golden Globe for Best Acting Debut in a Motion Picture for this movie, except that if you’ve been following Arnold Week here on the site, you know that this wasn’t his true debut. As Arnold Strong, he played Hercules in Hercules in New York, a henchman in The Long Goodbye and a masseur who Lucille Ball enjoys in Happy Anniversary and Goodbye.
Directed by Bob Rafelson (Five East Pieces, one of the creators of The Monkees and the director of the movie that ended their initial fame Head) who wrote the movie with Charles Gaines (who wrote Pumping Iron and invented paintball), the film is about Craig Blake (Jeff Bridges), a rich and young man who doesn’t really work and finds himself forced to handle the purchase of a small gym to clear the way for a high rise.
Yet when he meets the owner, Thor Erickson (R. G. Armstrong) and his employees Franklin (Robert Englund) and Newton (Roger E. Mosley), he finds himself drawn to the world of bodybuilders who use the gym to become sculptured works of art. He also falls for the receptionist, Mary Tate Farnsworth (Sally Field), and becomes friends with Mr. Universe hopeful Joe Santo (Schwarzenegger).
Craig’s old country club friends — like Ed Begley Jr. — can’t deal with the new people in his life and attempt to destroy his relationship with Mary Tate and embarrass Joe as he plays with a country band. Things come to a boil as the Mr. Universe competition finds Blake’s boss Jabo (Joe Spinell!) giving booze, drugs and hookers to Thor and Newton, who go on an amyl-nitrate assisted rage, assaulting Mary Tate and stealing the prize money, which leads to a chase throughout the streets of bodybuilders and the police.
Beyond the goldmine cast of pop culture standouts — Fanny Farmer, Woodrow Parfrey (Maximus in Planet of the Apes), Scatman Crothers, Helena Kallianiotes (whose appearances in movies like Head, The Passover Plot, Kansas City Bomber and Catchfire point to a career that I can truly appreciate), Joanna Cassidy (always great; Who Framed Roger Rabbit?is a movie she elevates just by being in it), Richard Gilliland (J.D. on Designing Women), Dennis Fimple, F.T.A. and the Committee member Garry Goodrow, Dennis Burkley (Cal from Sanford), there are also plenty of famous bodybuilders in this movie, like Roger Callard, two-time Mr. Universe Ed Corney, “Mr. Lifestyle” Robby Robinson, Ken Waller and Arnold’s best friend, best man and training partner Franco Columbu.
Arnold lost weight so he wouldn’t look bigger than his competitor in the film Ken Waller. After filming ended, Arnold went nuts, working hard to gain weight for the Mr. Olympia contest, which ended up being a lot of the footage that ends up in Pumping Iron. Arnold won, retired and then after getting back into shape for Conan the Barbarian ending up entering and winning the 1980 Mr. Olympia.
This is a goofy movie, but at least you can see a glimmer of who Arnold would become.
Norma and Malcolm Michaels (Lucille Ball and Art Carney) are a middle-aged married couple who seperate after years of arguing and their daughter’s new marriage. However, once they are single again, they miss the comfort they had with one another.
Directed by Jack Donahue (Babes In Toyland, sixty-nine episodes of Chico and the Man, Ball’s Her’s Lucy show as well as her Lucy Gets Lucky and Lucy Moves to NBC specials) and written by Arthur Julian (whose TV writing credits include shows like Hogan’s Heroes, Maude, Gimme A Break! and Amen) and Arnie Rosen (a writer on The Carol Burnett Show), this was one of Lucille Ball’s TV movie specials. It was the first time in decades that Ball didn’t play her sitcom Lucy character and even had streas of gray in her hair.
This is very much Lucy’s show, as her personal hairstylist Irma Kusely styled her wigs and she brought back Here’s Lucy (1968) propmaster Kenneth L. Westcott, costumer Renita Reachii, production manager William Magginetti and script supervisor Dorothy Aldworth.
Norma ends up going to Vegas with her friend Fay (Nanette Fabray) and their dates Ed (Don Porter) and Doug (Rhodes Reason) while Malcolm gets hooked up with younger women thanks to his friend Greg (Peter Marshall).
The real reason I watched this was to see Arnold Schwarzenegger between Hercules In New York and Pumping Iron. He’s much more comfortable speaking and has some decent comic timing. I’m certain playing off Lucy had to be intimidating, but Arnold is great. He’s also monstrous, as he’s bigger here than he would ever be in any of his movies.
In my quest to watch every Arnold movie, I will go anywhere. Even a made for TV live special.
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