Directed by Paul Dale and Austin Frosch, who wrote the movie, also worked with most of the same cast on Sewer Gators. When her grandmother dies, all Abby (Manon Pages) inherits is a kite, one her brother Brian (Charlie Early) instantly knows is an occult tool of the Third Reich, much like the haunted merry-go-round horse in CarousHELL. Some will think this is ridiculous, but I’ve been through Amityville movies where a haunted lamp, clock and stuffed monkey unleash supernatural evil.

A hungry for breakfast Oracle (Zach Lee) shows up in her kitchen and tells her to not look any deeper into the kite. Of course, she does, and you can imagine how that goes. Soon, a computer-animated kite is destroying anyone who wants to attend a bread festival and live to tell about it.

You’re either going to get what the filmmakers are going for or think that this is the dumbest thing you’ve ever seen. I’m not usually a fan of movies made to be ridiculous instead of somehow achieving that on their own, but I enjoyed the humor that Killer Kites attempts. I mean, look at the tagline: Not the scariest movies…but it’s up there.

You can get the movie on blu ray and VHS here.

Elise (Karen Abercrombie), a grandmother hurt by her past, and Patrick (Leon Pridgen), a widowed pastor have given up on love. But can faith bring them together?

Directed by Joanne Hock and written by Tara Lynn Marcelle and star and executive producer Karen Abercrombie, this is the first time I’ve seen Dallas star Charlene Tilton in a movie for some time.

This is a Pure Flix release, so if you’re not into faith movies, consider this before watching.

Elise is devoted to her grandson Derek (Jemarcus Kilgore) and her store Moxie. Pastor Patrick is just as concerned with those who worship at his church. It seems that neither has time for a relationship. However, the congregation decides to use technology to get the two of them together.

I realize that the majority of my site is devoted to martial arts, giallo, Jess Franco and the sleazier side of film. Consider this a refreshing break where we watch a movie that is meant for families and those that are trying to do the right thing.

I also enjoyed that the film didn’t make fun of faith, as well as having a cast that is racially diverse without calling it out. It’s a nice thing to see in films, especially religious themed movies.

You can get the Mill Creek DVD release of Heaven Sent from Deep Discount.

After being compromised during a mission gone wrong, an international assassin named Walker (Daniel Stisen ) is sent to Reassignment Center 42. There, he’ll get a new identity and be able to erase any trace of his last job and even his past.

However, a ruthless team of operatives led by Keates (Samantha Schnitzler) storms the secure compound forcing Walker to team up with an elite hitwoman named Elda (Lauren Okadigbo) and her mysterious charge Juliet (Yennis Cheung).

Who will survive The Siege?

Directed by Brad Watson and written by Nicole Bartlett, this is a movie mostly cast with stunt performers, which means that it’s all action from literally the first few minutes. You’re not coming to a movie like this for emotional resonance. You want to see people fire guns, do ill-advised stunts and beat the stuffing out of one another. I’m happy to report that this movie delivers more of that than you’ll find in probably ten other movies.

If video stores still existed on the scale of the past, this is the kind of movie that people would rent and be really surprised how much they liked it. They’d say, “I watched this movie with this super muscular dude getting in all these fights, two women had a brutal brawl and man, some dude used pliers to take the teeth from all the people he killed. It was pretty awesome.”

It is pretty awesome.

You can get The Siege on blu ray from Well Go USA.

After a quick and passionate few weeks of dating, Rafer (John Clarence Stewart) and Suzie (Marija Juliette Abney, Dora Milaje from the Black Panther movies) get married. At first, they like the freedom that they give one another, he for guy night and she for therapy. However, that’s not the truth. Both of them have a secret that will either destroy them both or bring them together forever.

Rafer tells his wife that he works at Red Light Insurance with Travis (Christian Campbell), but the truth is that he’s a killer for money, being given targets by a mysterious agency that sees all. He’s worried that Suzie is cheating on him, which he seemingly confirms when he catches her making out with a man in the back alley of a bar. The truth? She’s a serial killer, killing men who date rape women and cutting off the lobe of their left ear as a trophy.

Meanwhile, Detective Jane Flough (Summer Crockett Moore) and Detective Bob Reyes (Manny Perez) find that their cases are matching up as they find several bodies of men missing their lower left ear. As they get closer to Suzie — whose revelation has bonded her closer to Rafer — Detective Flough learns that her marriage is suffering as she keeps so much of her work from her partner.

Directed and written by Tony Glazer, A Killer Romance is one of the better Tubi originals that I’ve seen. There are people with actual problems in this, real feeling people in an unreal story of murder and contract killing. When Rafer keeps his life from his wife, he starts to destroy the trust that she had given him. You know, you may not be a killer and your wife might not murder men, but there are some relationship lessons that you can learn from this movie.

I also really dug Tao (Suo Liu), the philosophical agent who explains to our heroes that they have something that very few people will ever find and yet, he still must slice them to pieces. Yet because they have awakened a love for killing that has broken through the sadness and ennui he’s been experiencing, he feels that he must thank them. Between that and the random serial killer artwork that pops up in the background, A Killer Romance — originally called To Have and To Hold — has the right quirks, as well as solid cinematography from Tiffany Armour-Tejada and even giallo-style lighting in the bar scenes, that make it break out from the pack of been there, done that movies.

I kind of love when Tubi doesn’t even hide that they’re owned by Fox so you stop watching them and puts on shows like this that totally would have once aired on a Saturday afternoon on FX or Fox or one of their many, many channels.

This is so new that despite it airing on the channel starting today, there are no credits on IMDB. Obviously, with Netflix asking for your password so your mom, sister and girlfriend don’t have it and MAX being the mess you knew it would be, things are looking pretty good for Tubi.

You know, as long as my morality doesn’t get in the way and I sit back and realize that the fun streamer that has an Italian Giallo and Horror category has created the death cult of brain dead people stomping on Pride shippers at Target, because that’s the real problem and not the fact that a kid got shot in front of a school today and the shooter kept punching him after or that we enable oligarchs and tech-spending manchildren and man, if we take this show literally, the Scariest Places In America is just cities in Florida for 90 minutes. Orlando? Terrifying. Tallahassee? Bone chilling. Ocala? I just pissed myself.

Anyways. Off the soap box and time to talk about ghost chasing.

Written by Savannah Lucas (who was also behind Love You to Death: The Jodi Arias Story and Suburban Nightmare: JonBenét Ramsey) and narrated by Jake Hart, this is the kind of down and dirty doc that lists where its music and stock footage came from in the credits but not any of the people who are the talking heads in this, which makes them much like the people in four hour horror movies about movies that say things like, “Really, it’s the best of the sequels.”

Here are the thirteen places with some comments by me.

13. The Lizzie Borden home in Fall River, MA: Lizzie was fine, but I really prefer the 1975 TV movie The Legend of Lizzie Borden. As I sit here, I can think of so many better haunted places, but I guess they don’t have the lurid charges of an axe murderess who may have been a lesbian and ghost hunter Omar Escobar claims that he really got scared there, so who am I to doubt him when I sit in a basement all day watching dubbed ninja movies and he’s engaging in the pants filling terror of ghostbusting? To top that off, paranormal investigator — and TALKING BOARD COLLECTOR, this woman collects Ouija boards — Beckie Ann-Galetin smiles and guides us through this while looking way too much like the kind of girl young me would pine over and send Craigs List missed connections to…only to discover that she has a house full of spirit boards. They were correct about this show being scary.

12. Lake Lanier in Georgia: I feel for whoever had to write the Lake Lanier website and work on the FAQ, because this question had to feel like they were leading people to drown. Is Lake Lanier safe to swim in? “In addition to the Corps swim areas, there’s also a beautiful white-sand beach and designated swim area (with a stunning view) at Don Carter State Park. All swim areas are “swim at your own risk”, and there are no lifeguards on duty.” Actually, they put their photos on the site and their names are Robert and Bradley and nowhere on this cute little site do they mention that, oh I don’t know, that its the “largest lake in Georgia, is one of the deadliest in the U.S. Since its formation, 500 people have died there, nearly 200 since 1994,” according to an article in Oxford America. Nor that it’s a haunted lake. A haunted lake. Come on. I don’t even want to take a bath and you expect me to get into a haunted lake. Come on, Robert and Bradley.

11. The Sallie House in Atchinson, Kansas: The Visit Archinson website isn’t as friendly as our enemies in Georgia. Nope, right on the site they invite you to stay overnight at the Sallie House if you dare. They’re questioning my manhood, right in front of the cyberworld. No thank you. I will not challenge the spirit world, I will keep right on sitting here sipping on this Pineapple Bubbly and remain alive. And who is Sallie? Well, she was the little girl patient of Dr. Charles Finney who died on the operating table in the basement of this house and she’s now known as “The Man-Hating Ghost.” Nope. I’ll end up running out of that house sounding like Jim Varney, you know what I mean?

10. The Farnsworth House in Gettysburg, PA: Well, my wife’s best friend lives in Gettysburg and told me that all the children have white teeth there because the water is infused by the calcium from the bones of the Civil War dead. I’ve never wanted cavities so much in my life. Here’s some free advice. Never ever stay in a bed and breakfast that also has ghost tours, much less “Civil War era magician Professor Kerrigan who will delight you with Magic spanning from Card Tricks—using Civil War Era Playing Cards— to Illusions from his Parlor Presentation.” The professor has no idea how to capitalize properly and it’s giving me a bigger headache than sleight of hand usually does.

9, Sleepy Hollow in New York: Yes, all the movies get mentioned, even the one where Tim Burton reveals that he watched Black Sabbath. Not only is Washington Irving buried in Sleepy Hollow Cemetery, but Kykuit, the Rockefeller family’s opulent hilltop estate, is located here and nothing but nothing makes me more upset — and yes, scared — than rich people. So yes, Sleepy Hollow belongs right where it is.

8. Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, CO: You know this already, right? This is where Stephen King came up with The Shining because it freaked him out so much and he was too poor at the time to buy coke like he was mainlining into his eyes while directing Maximum Overdrive, so I will go and say that yes, this place is super scary. I did stay at the Timberline Lodge in Mt. Hood, OR where they shot the exteriors and it was very peaceful and quite breathtaking, but also very very scary because my mother-in-law went along and when I was looking at the “red rum” written on my bathroom mirror, she popped up and screamed, “What does that mean?” and then asked me who wrote it. I told her it was a ghost child and she didn’t sleep for days.

7. St. Augustine Lighthouse in St. Augustine, FL: The oldest surviving structure in this Florida town, this is perhaps the most frightening place on the list because if you peaced out of my rant earlier, you also have to go to Florida to see it, a state where Deicide seems like the most well-adjusted people now. I mean, have you see Ron DeSantis laugh? He laughs like someone who can’t wait to touch the nuclear button. He’s already laughing the laugh he’ll laugh when that happens. Also, I refuse to call him an android or automaton because as we learned in Anton LaVey’s Five Point Plan, android companions are the way of our safer future.

6. The Clown Motel in Tenopah, NV: This 31-room motel was opened in 1985 by Lenroy and Leona David in honor of their late father Clarence, whose collection of over 150 clown statues was used to decorate the property. There are now 2,000 clowns that exist on the property and a cemetery nearby. None of these things are frightening, per se, they are just odd to people. Clowns aren’t as terrifying as the fact that the LAPD’s “34 helicopters and four small aircrafts also release 11,100 metric tons of carbon-dioxide emissions annually”which is way more than all the celebrity private planes people complain about according to Curbed. They also “are lowest and loudest in census blocks that are more than 40 percent Black, subjecting those residents to unwarranted stress, trauma, and sleep deprivation — in addition to blanketing those neighborhoods with toxic airborne pollutants.” Sometimes under 1,000 feet, putting civilians in danger. But go ahead, be freaked by clowns.

5. The Queen Mary in Long Beach, CA: You can stay overnight in the Queen Mary but like the back of an old Slayer shirt once asked, “Do you want to die?” Suite B-340 is supposedly haunted and you know, reality is like a videotape and when you record horrible moments over and over in the same spot of the tape — like the maniacs in my hometown including me that would pause Kelly Preston’s nude scene in Mischief on the only rental copy at Prime Time Video — things just get left behind. Things that want to eat your soul. Ask yourself: could I sleep on the same ship where The Poseidon Adventure and episodes of Baywatch were made?

4. The Cecil Hotel in Los Angeles: When your Wikipedia page says, “the hotel has a checkered history, with many suicides and deaths occurring there” in the third sentence, well…you should stay away. Now an affordable housing complex — I guess Candyman has a new address after he moved out of Cabrini–Green — this has been on enough true crime shows that even I, someone who writes about Godfrey Ho movies and tries to ignore Keith Morrison’s gleeful descriptions of human depravity and sadness knows what this place is. I mean, a girl drowned in the water tower and people drank aqua infused by her decaying body. If you want to stay in a place where Richard Ramirez could walk around unencumbered in his bloody boxers, I won’t stop you.

3. Alcatraz in San Francisco, CA: In 1969, the Indians of All Tribes occupied Alcatraz for 19 months in the name of freedom and Native American civil rights. That makes up for the fact that this was the final stop for so many career criminals, I guess. Like how this was the longtime — and often final — home for Al Capone, Robert Franklin “Birdman of Alcatraz” Stroud, Mickey Cohen and George “Machine Gun” Kelly. What’s really weird is that the families of the jail guards lived on the island. It’s now a national park.

2. The Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum in Weston, WV: I live minutes from here and I will never go. Why? Have you seen how many horror movies I watch? Do you realize that that’s research for staying alive? When a ghost tells you to “stay away,” you do not run headfirst into spectral slaughter. They have flea markets and Father’s Day car shows here. As Jake “The Snake” Roberts once said while contemplating the chocolate all over his jacket, “Ain’t no way.” Also: There are 12 things to do in Weston. This ranks #1. Two of the other things on the list are places to buy glass and #13 is Appalachian Oddities, which sells a trepanning set if you want to drill a hole in your head and also has a wall of pickled punks. I went to the Müttter Museum once and there was a whole wall of backlit fetuses in jars and I thought, “I can handle this,” and then, just then, the drugs kicked in. Imagine.

1. The Lemp Mansion in St. Louis, MO: William J. Lemp Brewing Co. dominated the St. Louis beer market before Prohibition with its Falstaff beer brand. So many members of the Lemp family — William J. Lemp Sr., Frederick, Billy, Charles and Elsa Lemp Wright — killed themselves in this house. Elsa may have been murdered. When the last surviving Lemp, Edwin, died in 1970 at the age of 90, his final wish was that his art collection and all of the family’s heirlooms were to be destroyed. Totally normal.

You know what’s the worst part of all of this? Self-professed “spiritual teacher, psychic medium and paranormal investigator” informs us at the end that the scariest places in America are right where we lived. “Maybe someone died in your house,” she helpfully coos. You know what? The dude whose wife left him and used to live here hung himself and I live feet away from the second largest Native American burial mound in the U.S. and when they built my plan, they left the bodies and only moved the headstones. I don’t need this stress.

You can watch this on Tubi.

I worry about AI a lot, because you know, I work as a writer in my non-constantly watching movies and writing about them time. I’ve been in this field for twenty-five years or more — this gets relevant for this movie as well, I promise — and I feel like I’ve been fighting Skynet since 1984 and now I’m being asked to embrace it.

This is all being confided in you, dear reader, because I feel like Amityville Emanuelle has been concocted by that very same AI that I’ve been asked to use for my work and not director Louis DeStefano (who also plays Detective James and is directing his first movie) and Geno McGahee (producer of Call Me Emanuelle, The Awakening of Emanuelle and the writer and producer of Amityville Cop and the writer, director and producer of Amityville: The Final Chapter, which was originally known as Sickle).

How else can we explain a movie that has Amityville, a spirit board and namechecks the character invented by Emmanuelle Arsan that has become a brand in itself, remixed remade and ripped off into so many different characters, whether black, white or in space?

How long did it take before someone realized that Emanuelle and Amityville are both available to put together and lure me into watching 65 minutes of the results?

That’s why I blame AI.

If you have watched any of the post-relevant Amityville movies by now — you can stop after the Canadian ones, if you’re like most people, or after the In the Hood ones if you’re like me — you should never look at the poster and decide to watch these movies. I promise you that hardly anything on this art happens in the movie or even gets close to it and looking at it will only spoil you for visuals that its creators and budget are unable to deliver.

As you know — you must know — on November 13, 1974, Ronald DeFeo Jr. shot and killed six members of his family at 112 Ocean Avenue in the suburban neighborhood in Amityville, located somewhere on the south shore of Long Island, New York.

This movie accepts that and even starts with a quick cut version of it to set up what we see next.

Twenty-some years later, Laura Lutz (Dawn Church) is working in marketing, of which she says, “I market things. I get people to buy things. It’s like advertising” as I screamed at the screen while I actually did marketing inches away from this prompt-created attempt to finally destroy my Amityville obsessed black soul. She’s also trying to date and hasn’t gotten any for a year because of, yes, marketing and good Lord, this movie is trying my soul because it’s hitting so close to home my dog is trembling as the house shakes this way and that.

She ends up going on a double date with her friend Allie (Linda S. Wong) and hooking up with a nebbish teacher named Evan (Chris Spinelli) who seems to be acting for the back rows of a theater that no longer exists. Oh — I nearly forgot. Some lady brought over a box of objects from her father — George Lutz, who was played by James Brolin and Ryan Reynolds once long before Amityville movies were made on a daily basis and I had to search Tubi every morning at 3:15 AM to see which ones had possessed my smart TV, forcing me to watch them eyes sleepily open, simply through just a touch of Lucifer’s burning hand.

One of the objects in the box of occult stuff her dad kept all these years looks like a cocktail shaker but the filmmakers assure us that it’s an urn. Well, that urn has the ashes of Ronald DeFeo Jr. in it, the father of this movie’s other lead, Gordon (Shane Ryan-Reid), who has been seeing visions of his murderous father more and more since he died in jail. And when his girlfriend Gena (Allie Perez) gets a Ouija board as a housewarming gift from Scott (Johnny Avila)and May (Joycelyne Lew)…I mean, who does this kind of thing? What kind of gift is that? Don’t you know what happens?

Well, they’re lucky because Gena’s cousin Janet (Saint Heart) is a medium. They need her pretty bad right now — she’s sure she’s going to die so she makes Gena promise to take care of her cat Roman — because Laura gets possessed by the spirit and it makes her hook up with two dudes at a bar and shows up inside her bed while she’s jilling off. Worse of all, Evan has gone murderous, killing everyone that comes close to her.

I fear that in all these words, I’ve somehow made Amityville Emanuelle more exciting than it is. It’s an Amityville movie with no real Amityville, not even a shot of the house, just connected to real people whose real lives were destroyed by the case. And I can handle exploitation — I wallow in it, let’s be honest — but when you go nowhere deeper than saying, “These are the kids of Amityville” and then just have them sit in a living room, this underwhelms even when I barely expected it to whelm. But adding to that ennui is the fact that they’ve somehow made an Emanuelle movie with no nudity and some of the most boring lovemaking scenes you’ll see outside of an afternoon soap opera. In fact, in one, the guy pulls a blanket over Laura’s shoulders while she’s on top of him. This is an Emanuelle movie, with one m, and that means that Joe D’Amato is practically spinning so fast in his grave now that he’s about to burst forth from the Earth at the utter gaul of making even a softcore sex movie the unsexiest sex you’ve seen since you found your parent’s hardback of Dr. Alex Comfort’s The Joy of Sex. Children of the seventies, remember when the only nudity you could find was the Sears catalog bra pages? That was volcanic compared to this flaccid nonsense.

Nearly everyone that acted in this either produced or also worked behind the camera, no one is blameless. You do it to yourself, you do and that’s what really hurts, as they say. Or sing.

You know, if Joe D’Amato was alive, he’d be making movies with titles a lot like this, but they’d also have half the cast torn to shreds and sitting bloody and congealing in an acid bathtub while a schoolmarmish maid gave her adopted child of a master a furtive handjob, because that’s how you really make a scummy movie. Please learn from the masters.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Sabina Geshem (Liana Liberato, Scream VI) is a dance teacher who once had her own dreams of dancing on Broadway. But that was before the injury and before she got serious with Ramsay Stranger (Jordan Rodrigues), whose business is struggling and who seems like absolutely the worst person for her to pin her hopes and dreams on. When she brings up that he opened another credit card in her name, just as she’s paid off the last one, he makes it her fault.

He assures her that if he can just have a good meeting with Randall Abbott (Richard Kind, who seems like a big star for a Tubi original), all their problems will disappear.

No, that’s exactly where they’ll start.

Randall could care less about Ramsay’s virus solution. Yet their meeting ends up introducing him to the businessman’s daughter Alvy (Rumer Willis) and yes, Ramsay has a type: pale redheads. He starts spending time with his new love interest while continually demoralizing his old one.

There may be hope yet. An old dancing friend named Celine (Stef Dawson, Annie Cresta from The Hunger Games series) who is just getting past cancer learns that Eva Graf Schierling (Lara Wolf) is taking over as the director of dance and she’s been asking where Sabina has been. The opportunity for her to become a dancer on the biggest stage there is still exists.

Ramsay responds to this by telling her that she keeps making the same mistakes, that she’s setting herself up to be a failure and that he wants nothing to do with her any longer. He disappears from her life, which allows her to put her energy into dancing and finally concentrate on herself.

That is, until Celina takes her to a party and she runs into Ramsay, who easily gets her back for a night.

He laughs when she thinks they’re getting back together and explains that he has a whole new life. She decides to see what that life is all about in upstate New York. It’s gorgeous. The people are kind. And no one is kinder to her than Alvy, who is nothing like the thieving force of evil that she expected.

The real problem? Alvy is pregnant. And so is Sabina.

Directed by Todd Bogin, who wrote the screenplay with Omali Jeffers and Frederic J.A. Richter, I really appreciated that this movie strayed from the psycho ex-girlfriend formula to present an ending that is tragic and quite sad. The film looks great, thanks to cinematographer Barbie Leung, who finds great lighting, deep colors and intriguing angles that keep the otherwise seen it before story seeming fresh and vital.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Billionaire celebrity chef Alfredo Manicotti (Dana Snyder, the voice of Master Shake) has had his life ruined when one of the essential ingredients of pasta, gluten, is outlawed. He’s shamed by the powers that be in the culinary world due to his use of an even more dangerous version of the ingredient and eventually goes all the way into transforming himself — and his henchman Bob, who becomes Al Dente Bob (William Sanderson) — into a horrifying human piece of pasta and sending his demonic hordes after everything flesh.

The only person that can save the world is his spoiled daughter Emma (Lauren Holt), who soon finds herself training with a team of post-apocalyptic — sorry post-pastacolptic — warriors like Chub (Lavell Crawford), Halfway (Jess Harnell) and Mary (Mary Spender). But can she get past being daddy’s little girl and start kicking her dad’s forces right in the fregola?

Also: You may watch the beginning of this and remark, “Ah, what cute animals. I bet my kids will like this.” I would advise that unless your children enjoy seeing cute woodland creatures torn to pieces by Italian cuisine that has a ravenous appetite for blood, you should find something else for them to watch. Not every cartoon is for children. Consider this to be very much like a live action zombie movie except, well, with various shaped pastas taking the place of the walking dead.

Directed by Jason Schwartz (who did the animated series The Awesomes) and written by Matt Maiellaro (who has written for Aqua Teen Hunger Force), Pastacolypse moves fast, gets nice and bloody (saucey?) while never forgetting just how goofy of an idea it all is. For an animated movie streaming on a free platform, it looks great and even has some surprising moments of sheer gross out humor. I’d be all for another story in this same universe and I bet you will be too.

You can watch this on Tubi.

I can’t even imagine coming to wellness spa Serenity Gardens to relax, because everyone there is deranged.

Owner Ivy Watson (Rayisa Kondracki) has decided to take her somewhat laid back business and apply the business knowledge of Stella Benton (Sierra Wooldridge) toward improving revenue. That means that  she has to analyze every expense, study what each employee does and learn how she can best maximize profit.

There’s quite the crew working there.

Zoe Ravenstill (Kendra Williams) has been there since the beginning, creating much of the Serenity Gardens concept with her best friend Ivy. She’s resistant to any change and seems ready to beat Stella into a pulp when she even tells her good morning.

Kilman (Chris Kapeleris) rocks out his warrior poses and ignores much of what Stella wants to do, but he has a secret tie to Ivy. He’s also dating or has dated nearly everyone that works in the spa.

Jett (Hailey Summer) is the crystal studio manager who reads tarot cards and can see chakras. She’s worried that all the work she’s put in will be thrown away by these new plans.

Boxer (Mal Dassin) is the masseuse who will totally give you a tantric session, which they call a release and which I call the old fashioned. The rub and tug. Wait — it seems he mostly works on ladies, so maybe just the rub. Anyways, he’s quite gross and almost gets into Zoe’s Svadhisthana chakra before his stalker Mandy (Brendee Green) comes to her house and loses her sense of inner calm.

None of these people are ready to calm you down. They’re ready to kill each other.

After several weeks of confrontations, potential romance and even an out and out murder attempt in the sauna — which already killed another employee named Kimber Walters — Stella has had enough and wants to quit. Yet Ivy wants to promote her to running everything and sending Kilman to London to start a new spa. Zoe, who thought the position was hers, quits in disgust.

When Zoe confronts Stella later, two hooded people attack, knocking out our protagonist and killing Zoe. They also shut off the security system and get Stella’s prints all over everything, framing her for the murder. Jett gets her out and by doing some detective work on their own — and consulting the tarot — they figure out who is behind it all.

Directed by V.T. Nayani and written by Scotty Mullen (Girls Getaway Gone Wrong, The Manny), Killer Coworker takes you behind the beaded curtain of the spa industry to reveal the dirt inside all the massage oil. My neck and back are bothering me, but I think I’ll avoid going to any wellness place for some time after seeing this.

You can watch this on Tubi.