I can’t even imagine coming to wellness spa Serenity Gardens to relax, because everyone there is deranged.

Owner Ivy Watson (Rayisa Kondracki) has decided to take her somewhat laid back business and apply the business knowledge of Stella Benton (Sierra Wooldridge) toward improving revenue. That means that  she has to analyze every expense, study what each employee does and learn how she can best maximize profit.

There’s quite the crew working there.

Zoe Ravenstill (Kendra Williams) has been there since the beginning, creating much of the Serenity Gardens concept with her best friend Ivy. She’s resistant to any change and seems ready to beat Stella into a pulp when she even tells her good morning.

Kilman (Chris Kapeleris) rocks out his warrior poses and ignores much of what Stella wants to do, but he has a secret tie to Ivy. He’s also dating or has dated nearly everyone that works in the spa.

Jett (Hailey Summer) is the crystal studio manager who reads tarot cards and can see chakras. She’s worried that all the work she’s put in will be thrown away by these new plans.

Boxer (Mal Dassin) is the masseuse who will totally give you a tantric session, which they call a release and which I call the old fashioned. The rub and tug. Wait — it seems he mostly works on ladies, so maybe just the rub. Anyways, he’s quite gross and almost gets into Zoe’s Svadhisthana chakra before his stalker Mandy (Brendee Green) comes to her house and loses her sense of inner calm.

None of these people are ready to calm you down. They’re ready to kill each other.

After several weeks of confrontations, potential romance and even an out and out murder attempt in the sauna — which already killed another employee named Kimber Walters — Stella has had enough and wants to quit. Yet Ivy wants to promote her to running everything and sending Kilman to London to start a new spa. Zoe, who thought the position was hers, quits in disgust.

When Zoe confronts Stella later, two hooded people attack, knocking out our protagonist and killing Zoe. They also shut off the security system and get Stella’s prints all over everything, framing her for the murder. Jett gets her out and by doing some detective work on their own — and consulting the tarot — they figure out who is behind it all.

Directed by V.T. Nayani and written by Scotty Mullen (Girls Getaway Gone Wrong, The Manny), Killer Coworker takes you behind the beaded curtain of the spa industry to reveal the dirt inside all the massage oil. My neck and back are bothering me, but I think I’ll avoid going to any wellness place for some time after seeing this.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Mal Cooper (Theo Rossi, Emily the Criminal, Sons of Anarchy) is a bounty hunter whose only life is the so-called bull**** of tracking down people who have violated their parole. He was once a cop, but he knocked out a senator’s son when he got away with rape and lost his job, his marriage and pretty much everything else other than getting drunk and watching revenge-a-matic movies in the house he used to live in while his ex-wife is on her honeymoon.

His latest job from his boss Alexander Rogan (Kim Coates, Sons of Anarchy) is tracking down Jake Gordon (Shane Paul McGhie), the only witness for a crime lord — Alonzo Beaumont, Anthony “Treach” Criss from Naughty By Nature — in a case that involves mercenaries, crooked cops and no small amount of twists and turns. He also has to deal with his old partners in the police department, like his old boss Chief Joe Milazzo (Dermot Mulroney) and his informant Trina (Tameka Bob).

Directed by Jared Cohn (Lord of the Streets) and written by Chad Law and Gary Charles, this movie doesn’t break any new ground for its story, but the execution is solid and it succeeds because of the charisma of Rossi, who remains tough and capable while also showing vulnerability and even kindness in the midst of nonstop attempts on his life and the man he’s been hired to bring back.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Cahya (Intan Kieflie, an Indonesian Australian actress who actually was pregnant while filming this movie) isn’t living her best life. She’s just lost her husband, she’s running out of money and she’s not far away from delivering her child. Yet she needs work, which brings her to an isolated mansion to be a maid. And that’s exactly the worst place for her to be.

Directed and written by Stuart Simpson (who directed “M is for Mutant” In The ABCs of Death 2.5), Sleeping Beauties brings Cathya into the world of Alfred (Jeffery Richards) and Francesca McCay (Mandie Combe), a brother and sister. They’re rich, so you expect them to be eccentric. But perhaps not this strange.

When she arrives, the McClays argue over her, as they didn’t expect her to be with child. Yet Francesca takes pity on her and allows her to stay. The outgoing maid, Nia (Candice Leask), shows her to her room and tells her that she’s been there for a year and can’t wait to leave. That’s when Cathya notices another maid staring at a wall a floor above her room.

The strange thing of this film is so much of it feels like it’s the 1920s, as the house feels nearly trapped in time, while Cathya always has a mobile phone on her. I like how her texts become part of the picture and are treated well visually. It also seems that the outdoor footage looks way better than the interiors, as the outside nearly feels like it was shot on film — I realize it wasn’t — and natural while the interiors nearly feel like the color is way too forced. Actually, some scenes look way better lit and filmed than others, but I always feel like I’m inordinately attuned to this.

The McClays demand that everything is done the old fashioned way, even if that means cooking rabbit stew in a pot over the stove. It’s also filled with tons of taxidermy, which is never normal, no matter what anyone tells you. And what’s going on with the strange driver (Mark Adams)?

Oh yeah. A psychic who claims to be an owl once told Cathya that she’s different and can manifest spirits around her, those that are gone, and listen to them. Her boyfriend is stuck between worlds and she will eventually be able to say goodbye to him.

For all I’ve said about the look of the film, I have to say that the flashbacks — when Cathya finally sees and touches the ghosts — looks great with really startling images threatening to tear their way into the frame, feeling like oversaturated grindhouse moments.

Of course, Cathya’s employers have killed all of the past maids. That’s who she keeps seeing walking the halls. And they want her to die next. The McClay’s are very Crimson Peak but go a step further by having the skeletons of their parents on an altar, all part of a ritual to become find their way to Heaven by creating a grand guignol nativity scene with Cathya’s baby soon to be the focal point.

While the final effects don’t delight as much as they could — they’re a mix of CGI and puppetry, it appears, and I always err on the site of practical gore — this film does have enough strangeness and attempts at being more than just a simple ghost story. I’d have loved to have seen this with a richer budget, but for what they had, this is quite effective.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Directed by Sudeshna Sen, who co-wrote the script with Anjali Banerjee — based on the book Looking for Bapu by Anjali Banerjee — this movie is about the bond between Anu (Diya Modi) and her grandfather Bapu (Abhijeet Rane).

Her parents are too busy to see much of her, but he provides her with not just food and companionship, but spiritual and emotional support. When he dies while they watch birds together, she refuses to let him go, seeing his ghost and deciding that she will become a Buddhist holy person, shaving her head and attempting to bring Bapu back.

This is impossible, but the journey will bring together mother, father and daughter. The deepest connection remains between her and Bapu, as when she sees a photo of him at a young age, they look like they could be the same person. This brings her tears of joy.

At once a story of the immigrant experience and growing up to accept grief, Anu is an interesting film that has growing talent behind and in front of the camera.

Five former best girlfriends — Sam (Laura Welsh), Alana (Jax Kellington), Barbara (Chynna Rae Shurts), Miles (Allegra Sweeney) and Mikki (Nicolette Pullen) — get back together two years after a school dance prank gone wrong. A joke that turned deadly when their former friend Ashley (Savannah Raye Jones) comes back with a gun. 

Now, she’s in an institution and they’re dealing with the guilt. Could a weekend together be the exact thing they need to move on? Or is a slasher going to kill every one of them? Well, it’s not called Pillow Party Massacre for its health.

Director and writer Calvin Morie McCarthy (Amityville Poltergeist) really loves slashers and that comes through in this. It has a great score by Feeding Fingers, awesome practical effects by Chad Buffett and Maddie Goodwin (Vengeance, a Friday the 13th fan film that’s way better than that sounds, as well as Conjuring: The Beyond) and has enough kills and scenes that pay tribute without feeling like a rip off.

Chris Alexander has been making movies for Full Moon for a bit and I dug Necropolis: Legion — yes, it can never live up to the insanity of Necropolis, but it sure tries — as well as his Scream of the Blind Dead. He also made two other vampire movies, Space Vampire and Queen of Blood, which looks and feels like Jean Rollin and I have no complaints about that.

Arrielle Edwards plays the lead, a redhead pale vision that wanders the hallways of a hotel room and the tourist traps of Niagra Falls looking for victims. The first film I’ve seen from Full Moon’s Delirium Films label, this is the kind of movie that people are going to find on Tubi and get enraged about because nothing happens. It’s also the kind of movie that lunatics — like, you guessed it, me — are going to fall in love with, because not only does it feel like Rollin, but it feels like the last ten movies of Jess Franco, films that he shot in a meeting room in a hotel, with gorgeous women rolling around to music. Except this has sounds that seem like they come from not just underwater but somewhere in the dimension a few thousand doors away. Also: please know that me invoking the name of Franco is no slight; it’s the kind of honor I would not bestow upon many. Some people use the feel of Jess and brag about it. It takes a certain bravery to completely live in the nothing happens but everything goes down madness.

Alexander referred to it as the “next feminine, fevered, fluid-filled dream-state existential exploitation” that he’s making. It also has ties to past films, as Thea Munster is Lady Death from Girl With a Straight Razor. And Kate Gabriele and Ali Chappell are also strong in the cast. It’s like Alexander is assembling a company of players willing to go all the way into the darkness — and neon light — for his films. I also applaud this.

A dreamy movie filled with snow, carnivals and long nails that slice into milky white necks, all while distorted sounds and fuzzed out tones play. And just 42 minutes? Was this made just for me?

You can watch this on Tubi.

Jade Wilson (Selina Kaye) and her boyfriend Devin Jackson (Tremayne Norris) have a scam going where she hooks up with rich men and he breaks in to steal from them. Sure, he’s an abusive loser, but they’re making money. Except that their latest target fights back and gets killed, which sends Jade on the run.

FBI agent Rachel Davies (Catherine Healy) is trying to find Jade, who has changed her last name to Slay and is working — and living above — a dry cleaners in Los Angeles, thanks to the kindly manager Olivia (Liz Fenning). Devin’s trying to get back in her life, calling constantly and even killing her friend Ashley (Lanett Tachel, who also was one of the writers) to get information on where she is.

So anyways, this is Los Angeles, and that means tons of rich and famous people come through the dry cleaners every day, bringing back black tie gala outfits in to be cleaned. One night, when Lacey (Andria B Langston) takes her out clubbing, Jade ends up meeting Francisco (Danny Pardo), a famous photographer who offers to take photos of her late at night. For being a rough girl from the wrong side of the tracks, Jade is actually rather naive — or stupid — because she has no idea this old white dude wants to put it on her. She flips out, they scuffle, he accidentally falls down the steps and she tries to cover it up.

She gets another lucky break when a restaurant owner ends up taking her out to an opening and introducing her to Frank (Christian Torres Villalobos), the hottest producer in town. He’s smitten but has no idea — she doesn’t either — that he’s just met his father’s killer.

Remember Devin? Well, he’s in town and getting closer, plus there’s  Tawni (Brittney Ayona Clemons), the cattiest — and perhaps most attractive — woman at the dry cleaners. She tries to get ahead by blackmailing Jade and ends up dead in a steam room. Then, Frank wants answers as to who killed his dad, as he hacks his father’s security system and sees what happened. And oh yeah — here comes Devin.

Directed by Corey Grant, who co-wrote the script with Amy Irons and Tachel, Twisted Date puts a girl who isn’t really all that innocent into a town that is filled with every more twisted people, stirs it up and sees who makes it out alive. Just sit back, relax your brain and watch the fireworks.

Urban exploring YouTube content creator Marcus (Quinn Nehr) loves going into abandoned buildings and sharing the history of each lost place before looking around and sharing it with his users. The problem is, he’s losing his views because there are a ton of people who do the exact same videos as him. He’s sunk all his money into making videos, so he’s starting to grow disenchanted. Then, his girlfriend Jessie (Bryn Beveridge) comes up with a big idea: they should explore the Rockland Heights Prison, a frightening spot that’s haunted by not one, but two serial killers.

Before you can say, “I bet one of the YouTube guys gets shocked in the electric chair,” you know that Marcus’ disbelief in the unknown is going to get tested by cannibalistic criminal phantom Martin Clay (Anthony Pape) and the spook who was once Eddie Richards (Gary Soumar), a killing machine who delighted in painting the walls red with the blood of his victims.

The film that emerges is slow going at first, as a variety of YouTube want-to-be superstars converge, whether they’re explorers or ghost hunters, and find themselves as prey. But the end, where the gore starts to spray the screen? Why couldn’t we have gotten to that particular firework factory sooner?

James Patrick Tomasek directed, wrote and produced this. With a bigger budget and ideas, I think he could really make something. As for this, he got great use out of his locations and seems to find his footing by the end.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Julie (Eliza Taylor) is mourning the loss of her sister when her tech geek husband Marcus (Bob Morley) goes away for a weekend, leaving her within their gadget-filled high security home. Seeing as how this is a thriller, well, you can imagine that things go wrong.

Julie’s been dealing with guilt ever since she sent her sister Rebecca (Hannah Fierman) to feed her cat and gets her killed by someone hiding inside her place. Months later, her husband and her therapist Dr. Tate (Bryan Batt) have come up with a plan, by moving her out of that place of trauma, and into that aforementioned AI protected house. That said, the security system that Marcus created, Hera, didn’t protect Rebecca all that well.

Yes, it’s everything you expect: a woman being potentially gaslit — Did you take your pills? You know what your doctor said! — while dealing with guilt and a bad marriage. And when someone gets in the house — the same house whose last owner went mysteriously missing — well, you know exactly where this movie is going.

The couple at the heart of this, Taylor and Morely, are an actual married couple and appeared on the show The 100 together. He’s barely in this, watching from afar, but man, I hope their real marriage is better than the one in this movie. I also kind of hope that their marriage is better than this movie.

Director Erik Benard and writers Elisa Manzini and Sara Sometti Michaels don’t really add anything new to gaslit wife genre — is it a genre? — but if you’re looking for a movie where a robot vacuum cleaner hobbles a heroine who may be going hysterical, this is here for you. It looks nice, sounds great and sadly doesn’t seem to go anywhere new until the end of the movie throws in some twists.

Look, my mom has Alexa running her house and it just keeps repeating and answering questions wrong, as well as always turning on the incorrect lights. I’ll stick with light switches. Or maybe candles, I’m becoming a luddite, other than all the time I spend updating this site.

I’ll Be Watching is available now from Uncork’d Entertainment .

So…this is either Killerbots or Murderbot and the original name is better, because it’s close to Killbots, which is of course Chopping Mall, which was made by the same director, Jim Wynorski. This doesn’t feel like the sequel/reboot — he’s supposedly working on that with Dustin Ferguson now — but instead is 46 minutes of female Terminator in the desert wiping out teens, including one who has a trumpet that can play the only sound that slows down that walking machine of menace (Melissa Brasselle).

This has everything you expect from a Wynorski movie: a nubile cast, including Becky LeBeau (in the hot tub with Rodney in Back to School), Dare Taylor, Groundling Emma Keifer, August Kyss, Lisa London (yes, Rocky from Savage Beach!), Sarah Noelle and Lauren Parkinson (Avengers Grimm: Time Wars); scientist women in glass and lab coats that belong in a VCA movie; ridiculous effects and a killer that everyone wants to have sex with.

Written with Kent Roudebush, this moves quickly and looks good. Shot at the Diamond V Movie Ranch in Santa Clarita instead of the Ohio base of so many recent Full Moon movies, this knows what it is and gets in and out without much fuss.

Also: This is a Christmas movie.

You can watch this on Tubi.