TUBI ORIGINAL: Scariest Places In the World (2023)

Imagine you’ve watched Scariest Places in America and are curious if the rest of the world is even more terrifying. Well, you’re in for a thrilling adventure. This Tubi special is your ticket to explore the most spine-chilling places on the planet.

Here are the places covered in this movie:

10. Bran Castle, Transylvania, Romania: Commonly known outside Transylvania as Dracula’s Castle, Bram Stoker probably didn’t know anything about this castle. It doesn’t have anything to do with Vlad the Impaler either, who, contrary to popular belief, never even went here. Starting this list with this is, well…not a grand opening. Don’t listen to the paranormal experts in this like Alex Matsuo. There are some great clips of vampire movies, at least.

9. Alcatraz, San Francisco, CA: Maybe Alcatraz held America’s most dangerous criminals for over twenty years, but is it haunted? Or is it just charged with the negative energy of its prison population? The U.S. is the world leader in mass incarceration by nearly five times more the closest competitor. While the number peaked in 2008, in 2016, the World Prison Population List stated that America has 21.0% of the world’s prisoner population despite representing only around 4.4% of the world’s population. That’s more than a ghost scary.

They show some American locations that were left off the list, such as the Queen Mary, Tonopah Cemetery, the Clown Motel and the Lemp Mansion. For more of those places, watch Scariest Places in America.

8. Edinburgh Castle, Edinburgh, Scotland: The most besieged castle in Britain, with 23 attacks throughout Scotland’s history, houses the country’s crown jewels, protects the Royal Family and serves as a prison and barracks. There are tunnels underneath where a bagpiper disappeared; some claim you can still hear him at night. It’s also a place where plenty of torture and bubonic plague have been lived through.

7. Pyramids of Giza, Egypt: A man in early 20th-century clothing has been seen by visitors, and he’s rumored to be the ghost of Howard Carter, the explorer who found the tomb of Pharaoh Tutankhamun. Others have seen an orb apparition of an Egyptian Pharaoh floating away from the pyramids toward the Valley of the Kings. The special has Dr. Sarah Burdorff, Tawny Lewis — who refers to Indiana Jones as “the Raider of the Ark” — and Conner Gossel discuss plenty more. Maybe we should all remember the words of King Diamon, who once sang, “Don’t touch, never ever steal / Unless you’re in for the kill / Or you’ll be hit by the curse of the Pharaohs / Yes you’ll be hit, and the curse is on you.”

6. Capuchin Catacombs, Palermo, Sicily: This is where monks’ and friars’ bodies were dehydrated on ceramic pipe racks and washed with vinegar. Some of the dead were embalmed, and others were enclosed in sealed glass cabinets, making them seem alive. There are  8,000 corpses and 1,252 mummies in the catacombs, including painter Giuseppe Velasco and “Sleeping Beauty” Rosalia Lombardo, a young girl who still appears to be alive. Families could have access to these dead bodies and hold hands with them when they prayed on holy days.

5. Hashima Island, Nagasaki, Japan: The base of the bad guy in Skyfall, this island is also known as Gunkanjima or Battleship Island. In 1959, it reached a peak population of 5,259 before the coal mines under it were used up. Everyone left, and the buildings were left behind, as the abandoned island eventually became a tourist attraction. It also appeared in the live-action version of Attack on Titan.

4. The Tower of London, London, England: There are 13 ghosts in the Tower of London, which feels like a very PR-friendly number. They are Anne Boleyn, Henry VI, Lady Jane Grey, Lord Guildford Dudley, Margaret Pole, The White Lady, Princes Edward V and Richard the Duke of York, Sir Walter Raleigh, The Grey Lady, Arbella Stuart, Guy Fawkes, a grizzled bear — yes, really — and something called The Smothering Force, which is an excellent name for a band.

3. Pripyat, Ukraine: Pripyat was officially proclaimed a city in 1979 and had grown to a population of 49,360 before the Chernobyl disaster. It was evacuated and moved to Slavutych. It’s somewhat famous because they left behind a theme park, which appears in A Good Day to Die HardChernobyl Diaries and Transformers: Dark Side of the Moon. It’s also a level in Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare and the setting for the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. games.

2. La Isla de Las Munceas, Xochilico, Mexico: Jeremy Lamb, a supernatural influencer, is on hand to explain the Island of the Dolls. Don Julian Santana left his family behind and became a hermit on an island that was part of Teshuilo Lake, paying tribute to a young girl who drowned in the lake, even if many say he just imagined the girl. He collected and hung up hundreds of dolls all over the island. In 2001, he drowned in the same place where the girl supposedly died.

1. The Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum, Weston, WV: I call BS on this list because this was the second on the Scariest Places In America, and it’s number one here. USA? USA! One could argue our entire country is the most frightening place in the world, a place where half the population believes in the right to life and the need to own guns at the same time, that denies that the world is being destroyed by pollution and yet thinks that people are drinking the blood of children. I think that’s a little more frightening than a haunted mental institution — not that I ever want to go there — but this film filled with stock video and herky-jerky possessed footage will certainly make a case for this place over, you know, Texas or Florida.

Anyways, if you want to travel the world and continually poop your pants, consider this your travel agent.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Sources

Is it possible to visit Hashima Island? – Fdotstokes.com. https://www.fdotstokes.com/2022/10/12/is-it-possible-to-visit-hashima-island/

Pripyat – Other & Architecture Background Wallpapers on Desktop Nexus (Image 2325640). https://architecture.desktopnexus.com/wallpaper/2325640/

Mexico’s Island of the Dolls | RetreaTours. https://www.retreatours.com/dolls/

TUBI ORIGINAL: Deadly DILF (2023)

Directed by Dylan Vox (Tales of a Fifth Grade Robin Hood) and written by Scotty Mullen (Killer Coworker, Girls Getaway Gone Wrong), this film, with its intriguing title ‘Deadly DILF ‘, immediately piques curiosity. This Tubi original’s unique blend of drama, romance, and suspense sets it apart from other films.

I love saying its title. Deadly DILF.

Deadly DILF follows the story of Rio (Curtis Hamilton), a man who feels infantilized by his second wife, Tori (Naomi Walley). They’ve just moved into a gorgeous new house when they meet Elysium (Sofia Bryant), a young girl from next door. She soon finds her way into working at Tori’s gym, babysitting Rio’s son Gunnar, studying with Rio, and working her way into his bed. This sets off a chain of events that will change their lives forever.

Elysium barely survived a stalker who shot her father in front of her, so she has some issues. One of those would be looking for a new daddy, so to speak, and when one night of passion with Rio finally occurs, she thinks they will be together forever. Yet he’s in love with his wife, or maybe he is just comfortable with his lifestyle. Before it’s over, she will cost him his marriage, brother Jack (Zach Sowers), son and maybe even his life. The film masterfully portrays the weight of Rio’s decisions, making you feel the consequences of his actions.

This movie is another reminder that fantasy should remain as something in your head because it’s probably not worth it when it becomes physical and people start getting hurt. That night ruined everyone’s life, and I’m not being a puritan here. It’s just that Rio is a moron who thought he knew it all, and he ends the movie crying in the street, the one who ruined everything for everyone. Elysium emerges relatively unscathed, except she seems to blame her behavior for missing her father. Then she eats a peanut butter and jelly sandwich next to his tomb in a mausoleum, an ending that will leave you pondering long after the movie ends.

You can watch this on Tubi.

MILL CREEK DVD RELEASE: Southern Gospel (2023)

Rock ‘n roller Samuel Allen (Max Ehrich) finds himself in jail, a consequence of his anger-filled youth and disdain for organized religion. However, a moment of divine intervention occurs when a judge dismisses the drug charges against him because Samuel shares his story with local schools and churches. This marks the beginning of a transformative journey from rebellion to redemption.

Given a second chance, Samuel embarks on a journey to follow in his father’s footsteps. He overcomes the influence of an influential church leader who has a vendetta against his father, Pastor Joe (Gary Weeks). Despite the challenges, he decides to become a preacher, a testament to the power of second chances. He also wins Julie’s heart (Katelyn Nacon).

Directed and written by Jeffrey A. Smith, who plays Pastor Clayborn, this faith-based movie set in the 1960s doesn’t deny that staying on the right side is filled with temptation. Samuel Allen, Dream Church’s founder, walked the path shown in Southern Gospel. There’s even a tragic drowning, the idea that electric guitars are tools of Satan and the idea that the church elders fight more to keep their power than to help save sinners.

I don’t love many faith-based movies—outside of the films of Ron Ormond and Donald W. Thompson—but even I can recognize the lessons in this one.

You can order Southern Gospel from Deep Discount.

Source

Southern Gospel | About. http://southerngospel.film/about

TUBI ORIGINAL: Meet the Killer Parents (2023)

Grace Perkins (Katelyn McCulloch) has had a difficult life. An orphan, she says she went to a dark place before landing on her feet. Now, she has a stable job, a dependable roommate named May (Ericka Leobrera) and the man of her dreams, Rob Whitby (Connor McMahon).

This weekend is a big deal because Rob finally brings her to meet his parents, Stephen (Dmitry Chepovetsky) and Miriam (Kate Vernon). Mom is a rough one, continually bringing up how much she hated past girlfriends and how wrong they were, while Dad seems doting and even childlike.

Of course, this is entering Get Out territory, a reference to Jordan Peele’s 2017 film that explores racial and social issues. In this context, while everyone in the Whitby family is white, there is still the issue of class, and, well, the Whitbys are all certifiable. But have they met the wrong girlfriend?

Between every drink making Grace either drunk or sick and Penelope (Juno Rinaldi), the maid, confiding in her that numerous girlfriends who look just like her have come to the mansion and were never seen again, you can see the plot’s direction against our protagonist. But just when I thought that this was ripping off Jordan Peele, well, the movie flips the script — spoilers from here on out — because the family doesn’t want a slave or a body for old people to body swap with, but instead, they want Grace to become their dead daughter Jenny using mind control, psychic theater and a machine that can either change the color of your eyes or turn your face into gumbo. Those are the exact works in the movie.

Just when you think you’ve got that plot development figured out — and yes, that means that Rob has repeatedly had sex with many of his sisters or at least recreations of his dead sister that he probably — definitely — murdered in a pond — this movie is ready to throw another one at you.

Directed by Sam Coyle, who also made the Tubi original Deadly Estate, and written by Mike Rinaldi, this is one of the more enjoyable Tubi originals I have seen. It continues to lean hard into its premise, like an Italian remake remix rip-off, before finding its own way and closing with a completely outrageous final act that over-delivers on its promise.

You can watch this on Tubi.

SRS CINEMA DVD RELEASE: Amityville Death Toilet (2023)

Gregg G. Allin (Isaac Golub, who played Father Dingleberry in five Death Toilet movies, including Death Toilet 4: Brown Snakes on A Plane) — get it, G.G. Allin? — is a paranormal podcaster brought to Amityville by Mayor Dump (Roy Englebrecht, who was the boxing consultant for Celebrity Boxing), who wants him to “kill this toilet,” and by this toilet, I mean the Death Toilet that has been killing people in the same town where Ronald DeFeo Jr. was possessed all those years ago.

After the toilet kills the caretaker, the same man who has been randomly showing up to shoot hot snakes into the bowl, Gregg must battle the bowl, so to speak, to save the anuses of Amityville.

I always wonder about people who get to be in movies, want to brag to their family, and then see the name of their role, like Mike Hartsfield, who in this movie plays Misc. Men Making Mud Mounds.

Evan Jacobs has directed fifty movies, and this is one of them. Yes, all of the Death Toilets were directed by him and written by him. He also made the DV series about a serial killer who keeps filming himself. I would say that when he finally gets to the close of this movie, where animated birds, sharks, and flies all attack, it’s pretty funny. That took 55 minutes to get to, nearly an hour of people repeating themselves as they talk directly into the camera and act as if they’re streaming and being as dull as most streamers when they had every opportunity to retake these scenes and make something better.

However, the film does take a turn for the better, and the unexpected moment of a toilet uttering, ‘Leave!’ managed to elicit a genuine laugh from me. This is a level of humor that most Amityville movies fail to achieve, leaving you pleasantly surprised.

But if you haven’t made it through 47 other Amityville movies to get here, first of all, don’t. Please don’t make the same mistakes I have. Because you’re going to watch five minutes of this and hate yourself, hate cinema and perhaps even give up on life. Then again, if you’ve insulated yourself against things like plot, good sense and movies made with stock fire explosions that you can buy for less than the price of this DVD, dig in. It’s certainly at least as good as Amityville Karen and much better than Amityville Thanksgiving, a movie so caused that I feel like I never stopped watching it. Any second now, I will wake up, and it will start all over again. I’ll be trapped watching it forever and ever, amen.

You can buy this DVD from MVD.

TUBI ORIGINAL: Picture Me Dead (2023)

Kristen (Erica Mena) is a determined, focused young lawyer working for the district attorney’s office. Her latest case of putting away some dirty cops may not win her many fans on the force, but her unwavering determination and focus put her on the fast track toward moving up. She’s also the proud aunt of Angie, who she is watching while her sister Leslie (Rama Montakhabi) and brother-in-law Giovanni (Llewellyn C. Radford II) are on vacation. Despite telling the girl not to go to a modeling tryout the next day, Angie does what she wants to do. That leads to her body being found in a field and Kristen’s life going into a tailspin of grief and rage.

The worst part is that the suspect — fashion photographer Vernon Wilkens (Charles Malik Whitfield, really going for it in this movie and seemingly having so much fun playing such a horrible person) — gets away with it and even taunts Kristen and her family in the courtroom. Vernon, a charming and manipulative man, is not just a fashion photographer but a cunning criminal who has a personal vendetta against Kristen.

If the law doesn’t punish Vernon, Kristen must do it herself.

Directed by Tubi king Chris Stokes (The Stepmother trilogy, The AssistantYou’re Not Alone, Howard High) and written by Chaz Echols and Marques Houston, Picture Me Dead puts everyone in danger. From Kristen’s boyfriend Martin, whose phone is taken and it seems like he’s been kidnapped, all to lure her to a dinner with the killer and then back home to catch her supposed man in bed with another woman, to her other niece Diana, her sister Leslie (who even tries to kill herself at one point) and even potential new boyfriend Detective Pablo Espinoza (Cisco Reyes). The danger is palpable, and Vernon will stop at nothing because he believes that Kristen is the perfect woman, the only one who has come close to his mother, the woman who was killed in front of his eyes while the murderer took photos.

You have to love a movie in which the killer is supposedly one of the most outstanding fashion photographers in the world. He has a black-and-white boombox photo on his wall that looks like it came from Marshall’s. That said, this movie—like all of Stokes’ work—really entertained me. By the end, you’ll be on the edge of your seat, shocked at how many times Vernon can keep coming back to ruin Kristen’s life and how far she has to go to stop him.

Now, let’s get Kristen to go after Zooey, The Stepmother!

You can watch this on Tubi.

TUBI ORIGINAL: Cabin Girl (2023)

Ava Robbins (Rose Lane Sanfilippo) is a social media influencer who has moved from #vanlife to #cabinlife as she settles in a small town. An accident has left her unable to drive for several months, so she’s putting up roots, getting to know the cute local mechanic Kellen (Austin Scott) and oh yeah, getting obsessed and eventually haunted by Hannah Granger, the witch who has become an urban legend in the region where she’s trying to make her home.

The entire time that Ava is trying to make a new life, she’s haunted by a man in another van who keeps stalking her, getting closer by the second. She’s also investigating the haunted Granger family, even going as far as to go to an asylum and try to meet with Elijah Granger (Brian James Fitzpatrick), who has survived shooting off most of his face and brain with a shotgun.

Ava gradually — well, until one part — becomes an unstable narrator. That part would be after she finally hooks up with Kellen and the movie looks at its run time and says, “Let’s just hurry this up” and Ava makes a character leap into insanity. I blame the Ouija board, as I always do. Just leave those things in the box.

Closer to an f-giallo than a horror movie, Cabin Girl finally comes together in the end but it’s the kind of closure that I can see some members of its audience not being all that happy with.

This was directed by Jon D. Wagner and written by Leslie Beaumont and Rory James Wood. It’s certainly looks better than many streaming movies, has an interesting twist and man, there’s a disquieting moment of gore near the ending that made my hand hurt.

You can watch this on Tubi.

TUBI ORIGINAL: Escaping Paradise (2023)

Floyd (Deji LaRay) and Zena (Shayla Hale) head to the Phillippines to celebrate their fifth anniversary. While there, they meet one of the few English speakers, Kane (Simon Phillips). In fact, Kane’s lover, Nihla (Kylah Dela Peña), barely speaks a word. One night, when Zena is tired, Kane asks if he can borrow her husband for a guy’s night. Of course, that turns out like something out of The Hangover, but it’s murderous instead of fun hijinks. Are you surprised that Kane is a dangerous fugitive? Well, our protagonists are!

Directed by Paul Tanter (Age of the Living DeadStealing Chaplin) and written by LaRay, this ends up with people dead, Zena kidnapped and Floyd looking for help to save his wife and get off the island. I mean, once you watch a guy act like a jerk in a strip club, you know what kind of person he is. I don’t see why the young lovers got mixed up with this guy, but we wouldn’t have a movie otherwise. You expect Kane to kill exotic dancers like Flower (Christies Paglinawan).

Floyd must not get much vacation time because while his wife is being taken by a wanted international fugitive, he’s taking his time eating a traditional Filipino dinner when his wife could very well be getting tortured and killed. I was also kind of confused by the attitude of Ambassador Danilo (Ken Bressers) at the end, who goes from “you’re in trouble” to “you’re heroes” in the exact same scene. There was no drama there, just one weird conversation. And if my wife dealt with all this drama and I wanted to go play basketball before we went home, I’d be going home divorced.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Bucheon International Fantastic Film Festival: Evil Dead Rise (2023)

It took me literally five watches to get through Evil Dead Rise. In my past hater days, I would have just said something like, “Well, I already saw Demons 2,” but that’s not very productive. Films deserve to be seen, and my mindset did not jibe with what I was watching.

Maybe I’ve finally reached a point where the fifth Evil Dead movie isn’t all that exciting.

The thought filled my heart with dread. What would 16-year-old me, the one who watched Evil Dead 2 every single day, that a few years later would be one of two people in the theater for Army of Darkness, think?

Maybe I don’t want to grow up. It’s just too confusing.

Lee Cronin, who directed and wrote this movie, also made The Hole In the Ground. His Evil Dead movie came to be after a period of great excitement with the reimagining. Fede Álvarez was making a sequel to that movie, Sam and Ivan Raimi were making Evil Dead 4 or Army of Darkness 2 and after all that, the seventh film would bring together Ash Williams and Mia Allen. Then the TV series came along, and when that was canceled by the fourth season, any talk of new movies ended. Until we got this.

And I wasn’t too excited.

But then it kicked off with some teens at the lake, some possessions and a levitating girl decapitating a boy while an incredible title card rose from the bloody water.

Alright, I was in.

Guitar tech Beth (Lily Sullivan) has learned that she’s pregnant and she needs to be near her family, which would be her tattoo artist single mother sister Ellie (Alyssa Sutherland) and her kids Danny (Morgan Davies), Bridget (Gabrielle Echols) and Kassie (Nell Fisher). They live in the Monde Apartments, a nearly condemned building in Los Angeles that was rocked by an earthquake that brought a book and three records to the land of the unpossessed. Of course, Danny is a DJ and throws those records on the turntable — Bruce Campbell voiceover cameo alert — and they reveal that a priest was able to bring the Deadites to our world with the Naturom Demonto.

He gets blood all over the book, which we all know isn’t good, as the aftershocks and power outages continue to assault their home. Ellie is soon possessed and tries to kill everyone, but before she dies, she makes Beth promise to protect her children. And then she’s back from the dead and doing anything but.

What follows is a blood-spraying, gore-filled battle between the Deadite-possessed humans — most of the family becomes an intertwined creature — and the survivors, Beth and Kassie. Is there a shotgun? Is there a chainsaw? And is there a woodchipper, too?

Yet this has the same issue every reimagining has. It has the blood, the book, all those elements, but it forgets the anarchy. What’s missing is the weird mix of goofiness and kids in the woods making something with no archetype or rules. We know what will happen every moment, as if it is predestined, with nothing shocking outside of the things engineered to be as such. Much like how the streaming Hellraiser forgot the sex and the streaming Texas Chainsaw Massacre forgot to be frightening, this has a menu of everything that would be on the model kit of an Evil Dead movie, but it’s missing the intangible. There’s no feeling of getting behind the protagonists. Sure, a cheese grater gets used as a weapon, but this film should have the DNA of a film series that spent forty minutes with a man’s own hand punching himself in the face. It should do something that makes us feel something. The absence of this anarchy is a disappointment that’s hard to ignore.

There’s some to like, but I want to love. I want to revel in the lunacy of what this film could be instead of forcing myself to be satisfied with what it is. This had 1,720 gallons of blood but not as many ounces of magic as I wanted it to have. Honestly, they could have skipped the records and book, which would have been another possession film.

But would anyone have gone to the theater—yes, this even got out of streaming and into the big time—to see that?

I watched this film as part of The Bucheon International Fantastic Film Festival (BIFAN). You can learn more at their official site.

Bucheon International Fantastic Film Festival: Orgy of the Damned (2023)

In the sequel to 2021’s 2551.01, director Norbert Pfaffenbichler presents a visually unique world. In it, a man in a monkey mask navigates a strobing and flashing landscape of deviancy and pain. He’s pursued by a plague doctor and his army while attempting to rescue an abandoned child. But this is just the surface of a film that truly comes alive when you immerse yourself in its striking visuals, allowing them to sear into your consciousness.

Following the monkey man’s shooting, a masked woman intervenes, leading to a blossoming romance. Yet, beneath this love story, there’s a pervasive sense of ennui and helplessness. The protagonist is always on the brink of his objective but perpetually ensnared by violence and a sexual frenzy that has seized these future inhabitants. All of this unfolds against a backdrop of electronic soundscapes and classical music, adding depth to the film’s exploration of these themes.

This movie warns you from the start: it has disturbing images, sexualized moments and strobing. It’s either going to be totally something. You vibe to or the exact opposite. I get the feeling there’s really nowhere in between.

I watched this film as part of The Bucheon International Fantastic Film Festival (BIFAN). You can learn more at their official site.