Amityville Karen (2022)

The true Amityville curse is that I must watch all of these films. Just look at this ever-expanding article and Letterboxd list.

Has everything been done in the world of 112 Ocean Avenue?

Director Shawn C. Phillips and writer Julie Anne Prescott say no and also want to speak to your manager.

Just look at this line: “Every neighborhood has a Karen and Amityville is no exception.”

Karen (Lauren Francesca) is so cold and mean to people that she insults them in her sleep. Her latest target is a local winery (run by James Duval!). After getting service that isn’t to her liking, she takes a bottle of wine. A bottle of cursed wine. I mean, this is Amityville after all.

That said, this movie may not need to be an hour and forty-five minutes. It could get tighter, but that said, it does have a death by corkscrew, which is always something that I enjoy in a film.

Somehow, the movie slides into an underground occult circle within the town — it’s Amityville, come on, be open — as well as female demons which means that yes, this movie may not have foreign investors demanding nudity but it has nudity all the same.

This is Phillips’ first solo film and he was wise to get Francesca as his lead. She’s really great in the role and is understated when you expect this to be out of control the whole time. The film nearly gets her to be a sympathetic figure if she wasn’t abusing everyone around her nearly all the time.

If you watch a lot of direct to streaming and disk horror, you’ll recognize a lot of the cast, including Jennifer Nangle, Caleb Thomas, Ashleeann Cittell, Derek K. Long, Marc Pearce, Mike Ferguson and Dawna Lee Heising.

I think what this movie needs are some fun taglines for the poster, however. So I will attempt to write a few in the hopes that they get used for the sequel:

For God’s sake, she wants to speak to your manager.

She’s so haunted that it’s unacceptable.

Do not lose her business.

All lives no longer matter.

Bleached. Bobbed. Possessed.

She demands death. And an apology.

I wait to see where Amityville movies go from here and raise you Amityvid-19Make Amityvilel Great Again and Critical Amityville Theory.

You can get this from SRS and MVD. You can learn more at the official Facebook page.

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