EDITOR’S NOTE: Flodder was not produced by Cannon but was released by Cannon Screen Entertainment on video in the Netherlands.
I know Dick Maas from his movies like The Lift, Amsterdamned, Sint and Prey, so watching a comedy by him is an interesting experience. He also directed the sequels Flodder in America and Flodder 3. The series also produced a TV series that ran for five years and a comic book.
The Flodder family has been moved from their state-owned home on a toxic waste dump to an upper class neighborhood, which works out about as well as you would imagine. That said, Johnny Flodder (Huub Stapel, who has been in several of movies for Maas) ends up falling in love with rich girl Yolanda Kruisman (fashion model Apollonia van Ravenstein).
There was some controversy about how this movie portrayed welfare recipients, but it was popular that eventually people just stopped listening. It’s cute, kind of like the Beverly Hillbillies with lots more sex and property damage.
EDITOR’S NOTE: This movie was not produced by Cannon, but was released on video in the Netherlands by Cannon Screen Entertainment.
For some strange reason, I’ve never seen this despite wanting to watch it for decades. Wild Thing (Robert Knepper) lost his parents to a drug deal and was raised by a homeless woman (Berry Buckley) who taught him how to be a protector for the weak of the city. He’s pretty much an urban Tarzan and even has a social worker love interest named Jane (Kathleen Quinlan). His sidekick is a cat! Come on! That’s incredible.
I kind of loved what I watched and that’s probably because John Sayles (Piranha, Battle Beyond the Stars) wrote it along with Larry Stamper, whose other career highlight is writing the dialogue for Scarecrows. Director Max Reid didn’t do much else outside of some shorts and documentaries, but I really liked a lot of the ways he put this together.
Robert Davi and Maury Chaykin play the drug dealer Chopper and the cop Trask who killed Wild Thing’s parents and they stayed in power long enough for him to grow up and get revenge. I wish more people would watch this movie and I’m glad that I finally got to sit down and check it out.
EDITOR’S NOTE: This movie wasn’t produced by Cannon but was released on video by them in the Netherlands on the Cannon Screen Entertainment label.
Todd Howard (Jason Bateman) is the cousin of Scott Howard from the first movie and that won’t do Bateman any favors, as at this point in his career he seemed like the “We have Michael J. Fox at home already” of actors. Luckily, he’d get past this and become a popular performer in his own right.
Todd has recently been accepted into Hamilton University on a full boxing scholarship despite not being any good as an athlete. That’s because when he gets in trouble, he can transform into a werewolf, a fact that nobody really has any problem with and totally seems to be within the rules.
If this movie can’t have Fox, it can have James Hampton, who comes back as Scott’s dad and helps teach Todd how to be humble and not let being a wolf under the full moon — or not, this movie is all over the place — go to his head. Chubby, played by Mark Holton, also comes back for this movie, while the roles of Coach Finstock and Stiles were re-cast with Paul Sand taking over from Jay Tarses and Stuart Fratkin instead of Jerry Levine. That said, there are roles for Kim Darby as Professor Tanya Brooks and John Astin as Dean Dunn.
Director Christopher Leitch wrote Universal Soldier, while the screenwriter of this movie, Tim Kring, would create Crossing Jordan and Heroes.
Bateman’s father Kent directed and wrote The Headless Eyes, so maybe horror was in his blood.
EDITOR’S NOTE: The Return of Bruno was not produced by Cannon. It was, however, released on video by HBO/Cannon Home Video.
There comes a time in every star’s career when they decide to do something beyond what you know them for. Usually, that means putting out an album. Bruce Willis was a security guard and a bartender — where he had the nickname Bruno — before he became the biggest TV star in America and then a huge movie star thanks to Die Hard. But before that, well, he somehow got signed to Motown and put out The Return of Bruno.
But what if it wasn’t really Bruce Willis but instead his Eddie Wilson-like alter ego Bruno Radolini, the legendary blues singer who influenced everyone. Yes, as if Marty McFly invented rock and roll wasn’t enough, now Willis would take the rest of the credit and bring along tons of musicians along for the ride like Phil Collins, Elton John, Ringo Starr, Grace Slick, Joan Baez, Graham Nash, Stephen Stills, Melvin Franklin, Jon Bon Jovi, Freddie Garrity, The Bee Gees, Paul Stanley and Bobby Colomby to play along. I mean, they got Brian Wilson out of his sandbox to speak about how influential Bruno was. The cherries on top are getting Bill Graham, Wolfman Jack and Henry Diltz to do the same, as well as the aforementioned Michael J. Fox and to ice the cake, as it were, Clive Davis and Don Cornelius, with “America’s teenager” Dick Clark providing the narration.
The album that came out of this has Booker T. Jones, The Pointer Sisters and The Temptations, with material including covers and songs like “Respect Yourself,” (which hit number 5 on the Billboard chart in American and number 7 in the UK) “Under the Boardwalk,” (the 12th biggest selling UK single of 1987 that hit number 2 on their charts; “Jackpot (Bruno’s Bop)” and “Secret Agent Man / James Bond Is Back,” which peaked at number 43 in the UK.
Yes, this album was so successful that Willis had a secon Motown album, If It Don’t Kill You, It Just Makes You Stronger, which is a Nietzsche quote that I assume applies to anyone that makes it through the entire ten songs.
I kid! I have always been a huge Willis fan and when I was a kid I was totally enamored of his Seagram’s wine cooler commericals to the point that I would drink the Seagram’s seltzer and pretend that I was him, rocking sunglasses and performing the kind of white soul that would cause even the Blues Brothers to tell him that this was kind of cringe.
The director of this made for HBO special, James Yukich, has had quite the career. He did music videos like Iron Maiden’s “Flight of Icarus,” “Running Free,” “Wasted Years,” “Ace’s High” and “Two Minutes to Midnight;” Bowie’s “Modern Love;” the “Land of Confusion” and “That’s All” videos for Genesis; “The Flame” for Cheap Trick; “Always There for You” by Stryper, “The Real Me” by W.A.S.P. and Nelson’s “After the Rain” and “Love and Affection.” He also made Double Dragon, which is amazing to me that a Bruce Willis movie doc was made by the very same individual.
It took three people to write this: Paul Flattery, whose career has mainly been in award shows; Bob Hart and, of course, Willis himself, who couldn’t even make it to some of the filming of his own special, so his brother David played him in the Whiskey scene. Willis also is merely acting like he’s playing the harmonica; mostly it’s Bruce DiMattia.
Man, this entire thing is…very 1987. I was in a bunch of high school garage bands then that all wanted to be hair metal bands and always wanted me to write about parties when all I wanted to be was Danzig in the Misfits. One of Bruno’s songs, “Funtime,” feels like lyrics I was forced to write:
“Oh yes, it’s fun time (Fun time) Fun time (Fun time) Let yourself be happy, it’s fun time”
I definitely watched this enough that I had it on a taped from HBO VHS.
Oh 1987 Sam. You knew so little, you little chubby movie geek in the making.
EDITOR’S NOTE: This originally was on the site on August 13, 2021. Really Weird Tales was not produced by Cannon but was sold on videotape by HBO/Cannon Video.
You have to give it to HBO. Between The Hitchhiker and Tales from the Crypt, they were keeping the horror anthology in business throughout the 80s. Really Weird Tales is made up of three episodes of a comedy version of that format with Joe Flaherty as the host.
Flaherty, a Pittsburgh local, was a major part of Second City and SCTV. Horror fans will respect him pretty much forever for his Count Floyd character, which is a loving tribute that pokes fun at the horror hosts that he grew up with, including “Chilly” Bill Cardille.
There are three stories here that all have pretty high production value. “Cursed With Charisma” is all about a mysterious stranger (John Candy) coming to save the town of Fitchville with new ideas of how to sell real estate, as well as an alien invasion. It was directed by Don McBrearty, who directed 1983’s American Nightmare and is still working, directing holiday direct-to-cable movies.
“I’ll Die Loving” has Catherine O’Hara as a woman who blows up real good every man that she falls in love with. Where the last segment felt almost too long, this one seems too short. It was directed by John Blanchard, who directed episodes of SCTV and The Kids in the Hall.
Finally, the best story is “All’s Well That Ends Strange,” which pits Martin Short as a lounge singer trying to get into the good graces of a Hefner-style publisher, win the heart of a centerfold played by Olivia d’Abo and escape with his life after he learns that all of the perfect bodies of the women in the mansion aren’t all that natural. It’s a rare horror role for Short, who is great in this episode. It was directed by Paul Lynch, who knows something about making a horror film, what with Prom Night and Humongouson his resume.
While this doesn’t always work all the time, Really Weird Tales should have had more than three episodes to find its footing.
EDITOR’S NOTE: White of the Eye was not produced by Cannon but was theatrically distributed by Cannon Film Distributors (UK) Ltd.
Donald Cammell reportedly spent his childhood on the knee of Aleister Crowley, he went from a painter to a writer to a director. While a good chunk of his career was confounded by trying to make multiple movies with Marlon Brando, he did leave us with Demon Seed, Performance and this movie before killing himself with a shotgun.
Rich young women keep getting killed in Globe, Arizona and this movie in no way skimps from the horrific carnage that they are treated to. Even though this is from 1987, it’s still shocking. The first kill has an incredible 55 cuts in two minutes and twenty seconds, making it seem even more violent than it is.
Detective Charles Mendoza to visit Paul White, a sound expert to the rich and famous that is able to make an echo that he hears inside the air cavities of his head — yes, Cammell definitely made this — and that’s how he picks where the speakers go in each room.
Paul stole his wife Joan from an old friend Mike on a hunting trip in which he mutilated a deer and covered his face in its blood. Again, Cammell definitely made this movie. Oh yeah — and Mike is haunting the couple, ten years older and walking. the streets constantly eating peanut butter and claims he has the ability to see the past and future, which may come in handy because Paul has definitely been murdering women and hiding them in his bathroom, explaining to his wife when he’s caught that the universe has picked him because its heart is female and destructive like a black hole and demands destruction. And also because…you know who made this movie.
Paul then decides to lock his wife in the basement, dress in Kabuki makeup with a vest covered with explosives and chases his wife, daughter and even Mike into a cave where he keeps making his echo sound to please himself and further explains how the universe wants him to kill women.
Yeah — you know that I totally loved this absolutely berserk movie.
For all Brando screwed with Cammell professionally, he did take the time to write a letter to the MPAA to ensure that this didn’t get an X rating. So there’s that, I guess.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Mannequin was not produced by Cannon but was theatrically distributed by w ild Cerebus-like triple headed bease known as Columbia-Cannon-Warner.
Michael Gottlieb directed and wrote Playboy Mid Summer Night’s Dream Party 1985 before this and one imagines being part of that star-filled TV special — Timothy Leary! Sarah Douglas! Buck Henry! Robert Culp! Ed Begley Jr.! Fred Dryer! Hef’s coming out party after his stroke! — informed his ability to write two movies about unliving life-sized models, this one and the absolutely deranged Mannequin 2: On the Move. He also wrote and directed Mr. Nanny, as well as The Shrimp On the Barbie (he got an Alan Smithee credit to cover his name on that one) and A Kid in King Arthur’s Court. After that? Video game producer — lots of Mortal Kombat titles — and working as professor of film at the Art Center College of Design in Pasadena before sadly dying in a motorcycle accident.
Regardless, he left us with two movies about mannequins coming to life. He claimed he got the idea walking down Fifth Avenue and thinking he saw one move in the window of Bergdorf Goodman. Or maybe he saw One Touch of Venus, read the myth of Pygmalion or watched the Twilight Zone episode “After Hours.”
Yet credit where due — Gottlieb got his idea on the screen twice.
Shot in John Wanamaker Department Store in Philadelphia, PA (the rival store Illustra is a Boscov’s in Camp Hill), Mannequin starts with Ema “Emmy” Hesire (Kim Cattrall) hiding in a pyramid, begging the gods to let her find true love. She disappears and reappears thousands of years later as the mannequin work of art made by Jonathan Switcher (Andrew McCarthy). He’s continually attacked for trying to make the mannequins look too good and is fired for putting too much work into something that should be a simple task.
Dumped by his girlfriend Roxie Shield (Carole Davis), he drives to Prince & Company where he saves the life of its owner Claire Timkin (Estelle Getty) from a falling sign and is given the job of making the store’s windows look artistic alongside Hollywood Montrose (Meshach Taylor; with Getty and Taylor in the same movie, this is as close as we might get to a Golden Girls/Designing Women crossover), all under the watching and suspicious eyes of security guard Captain Felix Maxwell (G.W. Bailey, forever an authority figure with bluster ever since Police Academy) and secret spy trying to ruin the company yet for now the manager Mr. Richards (James Spader).
Emmy comes to life while he’s working one night. She’s a muse, often living in the work of the artists that she inspires. Now, she’s here to do the same for Jonathan. Hijinks ensure, Starship sings “Nothing’s Gonna Stop Us Now” and no one wonders if it’s weird that this is a movie about having sex with an inanimate object.
Leonard Maltin said that this was “absolute rock-bottom fare, dispiriting for anyone who remembers what movie comedy should be.” But hey — did he watch HBO all day?
Miami Connection will play Popcorn Frights on Sunday, August 21 at 9 p.m. followed by a live commentary by the Popcorn Gallery featuring Miami comics Elli Scharlin and Orlando Gonzalez. You can also buy this movie from Vinegar Syndrome.
Y.K. Kim earned his black belt in taekwondo black belt at thirteen years of age, making him one of the youngest in all of his native Korea. He moved around the world to bring the message of martial arts to the people, from Buenos Aires and New York City to finally Orlando, where he’d set up his fighting empire with his school Martial Arts World and founding the American TaeKwon-Do Federation.
Then Kim met Korean film director Richard Park and they created Miami Connection, a movie that Kim funded with loans, money from friends, his life savings and by mortgaging his school. Sure, he’d never made a film before and had no idea what he was doing. He saw this as another way to get his message out to the people, but every major film distributors and several independent ones basically told him to throw it all away. He responded by spending another $100,000 to continue making the movie perfect.
In August of 1988, the movie opened in eight theaters around Greater Orlando and a few in West Germany, of all places. Even in his adopted hometown, the Orlando Sentinel said that it was the worst film of the year. Kim had thrown $1 million dollars into the film and nearly lost everything.
He continued to be a martial arts teaching success and also learned how to become a motivational speaker, all while ignoring any requests to discuss the film. However, in 2009, Alamo Drafthouse programmer Zack Carlson bought the film on eBay for just $50 and was amazed by what he had purchased. After struggling to connect with Kim — who continually hung up on him — he was finally able to convince him to let the movie play. The rest is history.
It all gets started with a cocaine deal being interrupted by ninjas led by the evil Yashito, who steal the drugs and take it back to Orlando to party it up. Of course, one of them forgets the money and gets killed. Yashito is not to be trifled with.
Meanwhile, Jeff — who leads a gang of scarf and bandana-wearing camouflage loving bikers that are friends with the ninjas — watches his sister Jane play on stage with the band Dragon Sound. He’s not happy.
I have no idea why — Dragon Sound are the coolest 80’s soft rock hair metal funk band that does martial arts to ever exist. Yes, this ethnically diverse group of five men are all best friends — trust me, they wrote a song about it — as well as roommates, University of Central Florida students, Taekwondo masters and, yes, orphans. They are John, who comes from Ireland and plays bass when he’s not falling in love with Jane. Jack is the drummer and he’s from Israel. Jim is half Korean and half African American, but all kick ass and loves to dibble dabble on the keyboards. Tom didn’t get the J naming convention, but he sings, looks like John Oates and comes from Italy. Their father figure is Mark, the Korean rhythm guitarist and Y.K. Kim himself.
Jeff and Mark get into a fight that’s interrupted by another band who are angry that the owner of the club replaced them with Dragon Sound. They are easily defeated. The film that descends into a series of either music videos, fights, training footage or long scenes of people opening their mail. Please don’t take that as a read that I hated this. Quite the contrary.
After Jeff and his gang are all killed by Dragon Sound, Yashito and his ninjas attempt revenge. Jim just wants to get to the airport to meet up with his deadbeat dad, but he’s nearly killed. No worries, though. Dragon Sound easily — and at times messily — kill all of the ninjas, because murder is obviously not a crime in Miami (to be fair, Y.K. Kim was so well-known and beloved in Orlando, the local government and law enforcement allowed him to film anywhere in the city without permits).
Hardly anyone involved ever made a movie again. Which is a shame, because this movie is true innocence, the glory of making something even though you really have no clue. It succeeds in spite of itself and features songs that will get stuck in your head for, well, forever. Songs like “Friends,” “Against the Ninja” and “Tough Guys.” I waited a long time to see this and my life is better from having sat through it.
Check out even more of the story with this documentary from Vice.
With the release of Prey, it’s time to break down all of the Predator movies in one place and try and figure out why I love this franchise so much when I outright hate at least one of these movies.
The inspiration for the film came from a joke that after Rocky IV, Stallone had run out of opponents on Earth. If they made another film, he’d have to fight an alien. Jim and John Thomas were inspired by that and wrote Hunter, which became Predator. One could argue that they had seen Without Warning, which is nearly the same idea, with an alien — armed with futuristic weaponry and also played by Kevin Peter Hall — on Earth to hunt humans.
Predator (1987): As Little Richard’s “Long Tall Sally” blares, helicopters carrying Dutch (Arnold Schwarzenegger), Poncho (Richard Chaves), Billy (Sonny Landham), Mac (Bill Duke), Hawkins (Shane Black), Blain (Jesse Ventura) and Dillon (Carl Weathers) lands in Central America to free a foreign cabinet minister and his aide.
On their way to the target, Dutch discovers a destroyed helicopter and three skinned bodies of a failed rescue attempt. After Dutch’s team decimates the enemy, including some Soviet officers, they learn that it was all a set-up by Dillon to get information from the enemy. Only one is left alive — Anna (Elpidia Carrillo) — so the team takes her to the extraction zone.
And this is where Predator flips the script.
Written by Jim and John Thomas (Mission to Mars, Executive Decision) and directed by John McTiernan (DieHard, Last Action Hero), this film starts as a testosterone-laced ode to American firepower and then becomes a slasher, as the team is followed by an invisible, nearly-unstoppable alien hunter (Kevin Peter Hall) who has come from space just for the sport of hunting these soldiers.
There are so many stories about how JCVD was once the Predator. Why that ended is up for debate. Maybe it’s because Van Damme was only 5’9″. Or it could have been because all Jean Claude did was complain about the suit being so hot that he kept passing out. Or maybe the original design just didn’t work. The Stan Winston redesign? It’s as iconic as the xenomorphs of Alien, which the Predator would get to battling soon enough.
Predator 2 (1989): The beauty of Predator is that it starts as a war movie and suddenly becomes a slasher before you even realize it. It subverts the macho tropes of Arnold movies by inserting a killing machine that is tougher, better armed and just plain unstoppable. And that killer? He’s just here for sport.
So why do I love Predator 2 so much? Because it’s literally a grindhouse or Italian exploitation version of Predator. Instead of the jungle, we get a literal concrete jungle. Instead of Arnold, Jesse and Carl Weathers, we get character actors galore, like Danny Glover, Robert Davi, Gary Busey and Bill Paxton. It has the feel of RoboCop with a non-stop media barrage led by real-life junk TV icon Morton Downey, Jr. (“Zip it, pinhead!”), and a populace that is constantly armed and always looking for a chance to use it. It’s one of the few slices of the future where it feels like today — the technology is only nominally better and everything pretty much sucks for everyone. And holy shit, is it fucking hot.
The 1997 of this movie is really 2018, to be honest. Except LA is in the midst of a war between the Colombian and Jamaican drug cartels. It’s a perfect place for a Predator to hunt — and once that alien sees Lt. Harrigan (Glover) in action, it seems like it’s playing a game to capture the lawman as his ultimate prize. That’s when we meet Special Agent Peter Keyes (Busey), who is posing as a DEA agent, and new team member Detective Jerry Lambert (Paxton at his most manic).
There’s a scene where the Predator interrupts a voodoo ritual (the girlfriend screaming for her life is former Playboy Playmate turned porn star (that was a rare thing in the 1990s) Teri Weigel) and wipes out everyone, skinning them alive and taking pieces of them as trophies. One of the team, Danny (singer Rubén Blades) comes back to the crime scene, only to be killed by the camouflaged alien.
Harrigan starts tracking the killer, thinking he’s dealing with a human. He even consults King Willie (Calvin Lockhart, The Beast Must Die), the voodoo loving gang leader. That’s when we get that immortal line that Ice Cube sampled, “There’s no stopping what can’t be stopped. No killing what can’t be killed.” A short battle follows with an awesome two cut (literally) of Willie screaming and his severed head being carried away, continuing the scream.
Two massive action scenes follow: Lambert and team member Cantrell (María Conchita Alonso) battling a gang and the Predator on a train, then Keyes and his team battling the Predator in what they think is the perfect situation.
It comes down to Harrigan and the Predator battling one on one, from rooftop to buildings to a spacecraft. Harrigan overcomes the alien with its own weapons, then an army of other Predators appear (this made me stand up and cheer when I saw this 27 years ago in the theater) and one of them hands the cop an ancient gun as a trophy before they leave him behind. That gun is engraved “Raphael Adolini 1715,” a reference to the Dark Horse comic book story Predator: 1718, which was published in A Decade of Dark Horse #1.
To be honest — a TON of this film is taken from Dark Horse’s Predator: Concrete Jungle. The first few issues feature Detective Schaefer, the brother of Major Alan “Dutch” Schaefer, as he and his partner, Detective Rasche, fight a Predator in New York City. And the inclusion of the Alien skull was inspired by Dark Horse’s Aliens vs. Predator series.
I love that Lilyan Chauvin is in this as Dr. Irene Richards, the chief medical examiner and forensic pathologist of Los Angeles. How woke is Predator 2? The main cop is African American leading an ethnically diverse team when that diversity isn’t an issue at all? Then you have a woman in charge of all pathology? How ahead of its time is this movie?
Adam Baldwin from TV’s Firefly has a brief role as a member of Keyes’ team. Plus, Robert Davi plays a police captain, Kent McCord from TV’s Adam-12 is a cop, Steve Kahan (who played Glover’s boss in four Lethal Weapon films) plays a police sergeant and Elpidia Carrillo reprises her role as Anna Gonsalves from the original in a cameo.
If you read the book version, you learn even more: Keyes recalls memories of speaking with Dutch in a hospital, as he suffered from radiation sickness. However, the soldier escaped, never to be seen again. Arnold himself escaped, refusing to do this movie because of the script, and he was nearly replaced by Steven Seagal and Patrick Swayze!
Director Stephen Hopkins went on to direct The Reaping, Lost in Space, The Ghost and the Darkness and Judgement Night (he also directed A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Childbefore this). He had to recut the film twenty times to get an R rating! I’d love to see the uncut version of this. Shout Factory, how about it?
One of my favorite things about the film is this outtake. Stick through it to see Danny Glover dance along with some Predators!
Also: Holy shit, Gary Busey. He is in character the entire time, discussing how they’re hunting the Predator while also talking about it as a film. If this doesn’t make you love him, nothing will.
Predators (2010): Produced by Robert Rodriguez (who also came up with the story) and directed by Nimród E. Antal, this is the forgotten film of the Predator franchise. Its title relates to Aliens and it also describes the humans who have come to this alien planet.
Royce (Adrien Brody, cast against type here but awesome in his role; he has even offered to return in sequels) is a mercenary who awakens as he parachutes into an unfamiliar jungle. It’s a great sequence that sets up the non-stop chase that makes up the movie. Soon, he meets other predators: Mexican gang member Cuchillo (Danny Trejo), Spetsnaz Russian soldier Nikolai (UFC fight Oleg Taktarov, who was happy to play a rare positive Russian character in an American film), Israeli sniper Isabelle (Alice Braga, The Rite), RUF soldier Mombasa (Mahershala Ali, Moonlight), Yakuza gang member Hanzo, San Quentin death row inmate Stan (Walton Goggins, House of 1000 Corpses) and a doctor named Edwin (Topher Grace fromTV’s That 70’s Show), who doesn’t seem to fit. They finally make their way through the jungle to a clearing where they stare up at multiple planets. It’s a jarring scene that reminds us that we are far away from Earth.
It turns out that this planet is a game preserve where the Predators gather game to be hunted. Soon, Cuchillo is killed and used as a trap. Then, they find a captive Predator and three larger hunters, known as the Tracker, Berserker and Falconer. Mombasa is killed and Royce demands to know why Isabelle knew who the aliens were. That’s because she knew Dutch from the original movie and heard his story.
They then meet Noland (Laurence Fishburne), a soldier who has survived for ten seasons. Even though he explains the rules to them, he tries to kill them for their supplies. As they escape, Royce hatches a plan to exploit the feud between the smaller and larger Predators.
As he tries to escape the fire, the Tracker kills Noland but is taken out by Nikolai’s mines as he sacrifices himself to help the party. Similarly, Stan saves everyone by facing off with the Berserker, but his skull and spine are ripped out. Hanzo is the last to put himself before the group as he and the Falconer duel, with both dying from their wounds.
Royce, Isabelle and Edwin make their way to the camp, but Edwin is injured and Isabelle won’t leave him behind. Royce then frees the smaller Predator and they set the ship’s course for Earth. Unfortunately, the Berserker returns, kills his rival and blows the ship up. It’s revealed why Edwin is there: he was a killer and uses poison he found on the planet to paralyze Isabelle. Royce arrives in the nick of time and saves her.
Our heroes cover Edwin with grenades and then Royce battles the Predator one on one, killing it with an axe just as more parachutes come down from the sky. Soon, more Predators will come, but they will be ready.
I really enjoyed this film, both in the theater and then revisiting it a few weeks ago on blu-ray. It deserves to have more people watch it.
The Predator (2018): When it comes to a reboot of the franchise, I wanted it to be something amazing. Yet I heard so many bad reviews of this movie — directed and written by original writer Shane Black with help from Fred Dekker — that I avoided it until it came out on DVD.
The truth is, it’s fine. But for a Predator movie, it better be way better than fine. It’s a movie that has trouble trying to figure out if it’s a buddy comedy, an alien movie or an action film. The original film went up against those odds and knew when to subtly go from a testosterone-fueled epic to a horror movie. This one doesn’t manage that quite as well.
It all starts with a Predator ship crashes on the Earth in the middle of Army Ranger sniper Quinn McKenna’s (Boyd Holbrook) team’s hostage rescue mission. You know how snipers work in the field in the middle of hostage rescue instead of being off on their own taking out targets. That isn’t the only military error here — Nettles discusses flying Hueys when the Army discontinued their usage in 1984 and switched to the UH-60 Blackhawk.
But anyways, McKenna hurts the Predator long enough to send its armor to his PO Box so that he has proof of alien existence when he’s taken by government agent Will Traeger (Sterling K. Brown) and sent to military prison.
Meanwhile, evolutionary biologist Casey Bracket (Olivia Munn) has been recruited to study the Predator alongside Sean Keyes, the son of Peter Keyes (Jake Busey, whose dad Gary played Peter in Predator 2). The alien wakes up and wipes out the lab, except for Casey who finds the bus full of military prisoners and escapes.
Those escapees include former Marines Gaylord “Nebraska” Williams (Trevante Rhodes, Moonlight), Coyle (the always welcome Keegan-Michael Key), Lynch (Alfie Allen, brother of Lily), Baxley (Thomas Jane, this character was named for the stunt coordinator of the first movie and whose Tourette’s was as a tribute to Black’s wife) and Nettles. They go to find McKenna’s ex-wife Emily (Yvonne Strahovski from TV’s Chuck) and son Rory (Jacob Tremblay, who was amazing in Room), an autistic child who found the package and has already used to blow up a house on Halloween.
When they arrive, the Predator’s dogs ambush them. Just when they are about to give the alien his armor back, a larger Predator arrives to kill the first and lets them go. Soon, however, it realizes that the stolen alien equipment it seeks is with the military men.
Because no one can leave well enough alone, it turns out that the Predators are taking DNA from different planets and using it to make themselves better, faster, stronger and more like the Hulk. This goes against the theme of the Predators looking for sport in their hunt, which is presumably why the first Predator was here to give something to humans.
The big green Predator kills just about everyone other than Quinn, his son and Dr. Casey before they figure out how to take him out. In the end, Rory is helping the government translate the Predator’s language and it turns out that the equipment is a suit of armor that can kill Predators.
There were two different reshoots of the film, with the entire third act being reshot after test screenings hated the original finale. Black wanted there to be two versions of the home release — Predator AM and Predator PM, as the film’s original ending was during the day — but the studio didn’t want to pay to complete the special effects.
The original ending had the military prisoners and the army teaming up with even more good Predators to fight the upgraded Predator and other hybrids, which the fugitive was trying to steal and keep from the upgraded Predators. Edward James Olmos was a general in these scenes, as are plenty of moments in the trailers, which were all cut. Supposedly this third act was too talky, but cutting it out resulted in plenty of holes in the story and continuity errors.
Sadly, the original script ended with Quinn, Casey and Rory healing after defeating the upgraded Predator when a helicopter lands. Dutch, played by Arnold himself, would step out and say, “Come with me.” Sadly, Arnold read the script and turned it down.
Behind the scenes, this wasn’t without controversy. Director Shane Black hired his longtime friend, Steven Wilder Striegel for a minor role, despite Wilder being a registered sex offender since he pled guilty into trying to lure a 14-year-old girl into having sex over email. A few days before the film was finally edited, Olivia Munn learned of this and asked that he be removed from the film. At first, Black defended his actions until the backlash forced him to go back on his arguments. Of the actors in the film, only Sterling K. Brown initially stood with Munn.
The other issue is that there’s a thesis in the film that kids with Asperger’s and autism are actually the next level of evolution, which would be nice if it had any science behind it. I’m certain that the parents of these children may not agree with this story.
I wanted to enjoy this movie. I did, but throughout, it felt like a failed opportunity for one of my favorite film series to be essential. Instead, it’s a throwaway that I won’t remember for long. And that’s pretty sad.
Alien vs. Predator (2004): The first Alien vs. Predator story by Randy Stradley and Chris Warner appeared in Dark Horse Presents #34–36 a year before Predator 2 revealed that Xenomorph skull as one of the Predator’s trophies.
Directed and written by Paul W. S. Anderson, he used Erich von Däniken’s Ancient Astronaut theories, as the Predators taught Mayans how to build pyramids and used sacrificed humans to incubate Xenomorphs which they would hunt every hundred years, until one battle ended badly and the Predators nuked the area with one of their self-destruct devices.
The other big idea here is that Lance Henriksen plays Charles Bishop Weyland, the CEO of Weyland Industries which will one day become the Weyland-Yutani Corporation. He’s leading a team to Antarctica to find another pyramid. As he’s terminally ill, he wants something to be remembered by. Guided by Lex Woods (Sanaa Lathan), he leads his team directly into a trap filled with facehuggers and a sleeping queen (this movie has a lot of ties to Lovecraft along with its Alien and Predator mythology).
Three Predators known as Scar, Celtic and Chopper show up to hunt. Now, you may wonder, why do they come to such a cold place when they’re attracted to heat? Because this is their big test as hunters, to go outside of their natural hunting areas. After deaths on both sides, Lex and Scar bond — he even burns a Predator mark into her face, echoing a scene in the Dark Horse comics — and she alone survives. His body is taken by the Predators, who gift her with one of their weapons, before his in-state body gives birth to an Alien and Predator hybrid.
While I’d never say this is my favorite film in either franchise, if you approach it as just fun, it’s fine. You want it to be better, but it never gets to the mania of the comics or video game. Then again, Anderson was only given two and a half months to film this while post-production was given just four months.
This movie caused James Cameron to stop working on an Alien movie, “To me, that was Frankenstein Meets Werewolf. It was Universal just taking their assets and starting to play them off against each other…Milking it.” But after watching it, he said, “it was actually pretty good. I think of the five Alien films, I’d rate it third. I actually liked it. I actually liked it a lot.”
Ridley Scott said it was “a daft idea” that brought down the franchise.
Alien vs. Predator: Requiem (2010): Immediately after the end of the last movie, the Predator crashes into a forest outside of Gunnison, Colorado. The Alien Predator hybrid — let’s call it the Predalien escapes and attacks everyone in its way. An older veteran Predator named Wolf arrives, ready to erase the evidence and stop what could be the ultimate killing machine.
Beyond getting to see Françoise Yip play Ms. Yutani, the CEO of the Yutani Corporation, this movie has the PredAlien impregnating homeless people and already pregnant women to make an army of Xenomorphs to take over the town.
Directed by Greg and Colin Strause (Skyline) and written by Shane Salerno (Armageddon), this movie really feels like a collection of video game cut sequences instead of an actual film and ends like Return of the Living Dead, which is probably making Dan O’Bannon laugh in whatever reality he’s in now.
Speaking of horror royalty, this movie had Daniel Pearl as its director of photography. That said, critics hated the dark lighting and handheld camerawork he used, as he didn’t like how the first movie was so bright and showed so much of the creatures.
There was a lot of the movie that ended up being reshot, like Ricky impaled and ripped in half by the Predalien inside the hospital — instead of just being wounded — and the entire team of survivors getting nuked. There was an even rougher ending where Special Forces tracked them all down and killed them so there were no witnesses.
An ending that was not filmed had Ms Yutani taking the Predator gun and it transforming into a Weyland-Yutani logo on a spaceship that flies to a planet where Predators are hunting a gigantic winged dinosaur-like Alien, but no one was all that excited — probably other than me, even after this movie — for a third fight between the Yautja and the Xenomorphs.
Look, if you have Diana Rigg play the evil stepmother in Snow White, there’s no way I’m going to be on the side of the heroes. Then again, how crazy is it that Sarah Patterson followed up playing Red Riding Hood in The Company of Wolves by playing Snow White*? And how amazing is it that Cannon had to rename all of the dwarves, so their names are Biddy, Kiddy, Diddy, Fiddy, Giddy, Liddy and Iddy, who is played by Billy Barty?
The King is played by Doug Sheldon, who charted with a cover of “Runaround Sue” and “Your Ma Said You Cried in Your Sleep Last Night” in 1963. He’s also in Some Girls Do and Cannon’s Appointment With Death. If you know the story of Snow White, you know that he remarries after the death of his wife and his daughter does not get along with her stepmother, who uses a poison apple to knock her out. Soon, a handsome stranger must head into the forest to bring her back to life. I mean, you know the story, right? Does Cannon? I say this because it is not a kiss that brings Snow White back from death, but her glass coffin getting knocked off a cart and the poisoned apple getting Heimlich maneuvered out of her mouth. Actually, that’s how it happens in the original book, so maybe — for once — Cannon does know more than Disney when it comes to making fairy tale movies.
This is the only Cannon Movie Tales to get a PG rating, so watch out parents! Director and writer Michael Berz also wrote Cannon’s version of Sleeping Beauty and appears in Hot Resortas Kenny, one of the many young adults trying to get laid, which one assumes is good training to be the creator of fairy tale movies.
*Nicola Stapleton from Cannon’s take on Hansel and Gretel is the young version of the heroine.
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