Sizzlin’ Summer of Side-Splitters 2025: Sister Act (1992)

Aug 11-17 Whoopi Goldberg Week: She’s become a corny tv lady these days, but let’s not forget that at her peak Whoopi was one of the funniest people alive.

Directed by Emile Ardolino and written by Paul Rudnick, Sister Act was one of the most financially successful comedies of the early 1990s. It’s about Deloris Wilson (Whoopi Goldberg), who made fun of the nuns when she was in school, becomes a lounge singer dating organized crime figure Vince LaRocca (Harvey Keitel) and goes into hiding at Saint Katherine’s Parish as Sister Mary Clarence along with Reverend Mother (Maggie Smith), Sister Mary Lazarus (Mary Wickes), Sister Mary Patrick (Kathy Najimy) and Sister Mary Robert (Wendy Makkena).

The new Sister ends up leading the choir to national attention, which leads to the criminals finding her, putting a price on her head. Of course, everything turns out just fine.

Initially intended for Bette Midler, this was the subject of a major lawsuit. Actress Donna Douglas and her partner Curt Wilson filed a $200 million lawsuit against The Walt Disney Company, Whoopi Goldberg, Bette Midler, their production companies and Creative Artists Agency, claiming Sister Act was plagiarized from the book A Nun in the Closet. In 1994, Douglas and Wilson declined a $1 million offer as they wanted to win the case. They didn’t. Neither was a nun by the name of Delois Blakely, whose autobiography, The Harlem Street Nun, was similar and was sent to Disney several times.

WEIRD WEDNESDAY: The Child (1977)

We first encountered The Child at a Halloween party thrown at the palatial Mexican War Streets home of Mr. Groovy Doom himself, Bill Van Ryn. While some folks drank in the kitchen or enjoyed the mix of Goblin and My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult blasting in the sitting room, I was entranced by a film that was playing on the TV. The sound wasn’t turned up, the images all felt like transmissions from beyond, and nothing really added up in the movie. “What the hell is this?” I asked. “Oh, The Child!” exclaimed Bill, hurriedly running in to try and explain why he was growing more and more obsessed with multiple rewatches of the film.

Sometime in the 1930s — which you’d only know from the old 1930s as this film feels like an anachronism lost in no particular time — Alicianne has been hired to be the caretaker for Rosalie Nordon, the titular child, who has just lost her mother. Along with her father and brother Len, she lives in a house on the edge of the woods.

Even the trip to the house is strange, with Alicianne’s car breaking down after she drives it into a ditch. A journey through the woods brings her to Mrs. Whitfield, who warns her about the Nordon family. She probably should have listened, as everyone in this family — hell, everyone in this movie — is touched, as they say.

When Alicianne first meets Rosalie, the jack-in-the-box suddenly moves by itself. It’s a very subtle scene that hints that things might not be right here. After all, people have seen Rosalie wandering the cemetery late at night, a place where she brings kittens so that her friends there will do anything she asks. And even dinner is strange, as her father relates a story of Boy Scouts eating a soup stirred with oleander that caused them all to die. Father and daughter have a good laugh at that while Len just seems embarrassed by his family.

Then there are the drawings — Rosalie has been sketching everyone who was at her mother’s funeral, marking them for death. And if she does have psychic abilities, is she using them to reanimate the dead or control them? Or do they just do whatever she wants? The Child wasn’t made to give you those answers. It just screams in your face and demands that you keep watching despite your ever-growing confusion.

Mrs. Whitfield’s dog is taken first, then that old busy body pays the price, with her face getting off as the zombies mutilate her. That gardener has some of mommy’s jewelry, so he has to pay, too. And Alicianne, who was supposedly here just for Rosalie, has started to spend too much time with Len. She’s next on the list.

There are some really haunting scenes as we get closer to Halloween, like a scarecrow come to life and a jack-o-lantern that keeps relighting itself and following our heroine around the room.

Finally, Mr. Nordon starts to discipline his daughter, which leads to Rosalie unleashing all of her powers. She decimates her father, crashes Alicianne’s car and sends zombies to chase her governess and brother all the way to an old mill. Len tries to fight them while Alicianna just screams and screams, but he can’t stop them from dragging him under the building and tearing his face to bloody pieces. As the attack of the zombies stops, Rosalie walks through the door just as our heroine hits her with an axe. She walks outside into the dawn’s light and everything is still. The threat is over.

Written by Ralph Lucas as Kill and Go HideThe Child isn’t a great movie, but it’s an interesting one. If you ask me, that’s way more important. Some people will get tied up in things like narrative cohesion, good acting and a soundtrack that makes sense. None of those people should watch The Child with you, as they’ll just ruin what can be an awesome experience. This is the kind of magic that takes over, kind of like one of those dreams you have and try to write down the moment you wake up, but it gets lost in the ether of reality. For most of the film, the zombies are barely glimpsed, just seen in the shadows, so they really could just be tramps that live in the cemetery. Or something much worse.

Producer Harry Novak acquired this film and made his money on it, even if director Robert Voskanian and producer Robert Dadashia saw no profit. It’s a story we’ve seen hundreds of times — an interesting movie taken, used and abused by conmen who have no interest in art.

Yet I wear a Harry Novak shirt all the time.

You can watch this on Tubi.

WEIRD WEDNESDAY: Confessions of a Young American Housewife (1974)

Carol (Rebecca Brooke) is in the middle of a steady swinging relationship between her husband Eddie (David Hausman), next door neighbor and best friend Anne (Chris Jordan) and her partner Pete (Eric Edwards). But when her widowed mother, Jennifer Robison (Jennifer Welles), comes to live with her, she worries that they will have to hide their open lifestyle. Yet soon enough, mom is making it with a grocery boy, engaging in forbidden love with her daughter and maybe even running away with her son-in-law.

Joe Sarno’s movies are filthy but they’re also classy, which is something that usually never makes sense and never really works. He always pulls off this balancing act and does the same here, as the wood-paneled suburban 70s household turns into a pit of sin, a place that unlocks passions once put away.

There’s an uncredited Peter Gallagher in this.

Some maniac posted this with all the sex cut out on YouTube. What’s the opposite of an insert?

ARROW VIDEO BLU-RAY AND 4K UHD RELEASE: Dark City (1998)

Directed, co-written, and co-produced by Alex Proyas, Dark City was a bomb, but one that has found its audience. It followed Proyas’ first two films, Spirits of the Air, Gremlins of the Clouds and The Crow. Maybe the movies that followed — Garage DaysI, RobotKnowing and Gods of Egypt — didn’t live up to the promise he was showing here, but at least we still have some great stuff to look back on. Perhaps his adaptation of R.U.R. will be excellent.

According to Wikipedia, “Concerned that audiences would not understand the film, New Line asked Proyas to add an explanatory voice-over to the introduction, and he complied.” Nothing good ever comes of that. But perhaps Dark City paved the way for The Matrix to run.

John Murdoch (Rufus Sewell) wakes up in a hotel with a ritualistically murdered woman in the next room. A phone call from Dr. Daniel P. Schreber (Kiefer Sutherland) urges him to run, as The Strangers are on their way. Inspector Frank Bumstead (William Hurt) is looking for whoever is killing sex workers, which makes Murdoch a suspect.

It’s always night here, and soon, both Murdoch and Bumstead learn that The Strangers are aliens who can use “tuning” to distort reality. As a group of humans sleep, they are mining them for the data that may save their world. Tracked by a Stranger with his memories, Mr. Hand (Richard O’Brien, Riff Raff in another iconic role), he must find and rescue his wife Emma (Jennifer Connelly) and stop the aliens from taking over the entire human race, while also getting back to his hometown, Shell Beach, a place everyone knows about. Still, no one knows how to get there.

I love movies shot all on a soundstage, and that’s what makes Dark City feel so unique. It’s a world that could be the 1940s but is also nowhere, filled with spirals, clocks and near-unending darkness. I can and can’t believe that this was released against Titanic but I have also learned that the right films always find their audience.

In 2021, Proyas made a short film in the same universe as Dark City, Mask of the Evil Apparition

The Arrow Video release of Dark City has a brand new 4K restoration from the original 35mm camera negatives approved by director of photography Dariusz Wolski, plus a 60-page perfect bound collectors’ book featuring new writing by author Richard Kadrey, and film critics Sabina Stent, Virat Nehru and Martyn Pedler. It’s inside limited edition packaging featuring newly commissioned artwork by Doug John Miller with a double-sided fold-out poster featuring original and newly commissioned artwork by Doug John Miller, three postcard-sized reproduction art cards, a postcard from Shell Beach and a business card for Dr. Schreber.

The Director’s City disk has five commentaries: a new commentary by director Alex Proyas, another by Craig Anderson, Bruce Isaacs and Herschel Isaacs, co-hosts of the Film Versus Film podcast and an archival audio commentary by director Proyas; an archival commentary by Roger Ebert; and an archival commentary by writers Lem Dobbs and David S. Goyer. There’s also an archival introduction by Alex Proyas; Return to Dark City, a new hour-long documentary featuring interviews with director Alex Proyas, producer Andrew Mason, production designers Patrick Tatopoulos and George Liddle, costume designer Liz Keough, storyboard artist Peter Pound, director of photography Dariusz Wolski, actor Rufus Sewell, hair & makeup artist Leslie Vanderwalt and VFX creative director Peter Doyle; Rats in a Maze, a new visual essay by film scholar Alexandra West; I’m as Much in the Dark as You Are, a new visual essay by film scholar Josh Nelson on film noir and identity in Dark City and a design and storyboard gallery.

The theatrical cut has two archival commentaries, one by Proyas, writers Lem Dobbs & David S. Goyer, director of photography Dariusz Wolski and production designer Patrick Tatopoulos and the other by Roger Ebert. There’s also Memories of Shell Beach, a 2008 featurette in which cast and crew look back at the making of the film from concept to reception; Architecture of Dreams, a 2008 featurette presenting five perspectives on the themes and meanings of the film; a theatrical trailer and an image gallery.

While this is currently sold out, keep your eye on Arrow Video and MVD Shop.

Sizzlin’ Summer of Side-Splitters 2025: Burglar (1987)

Aug 11-17 Whoopi Goldberg Week: She’s become a corny tv lady these days, but let’s not forget that at her peak Whoopi was one of the funniest people alive.

Based on The Burglar in the Closet by Lawrence Block, this has Whoopi as former burglar Bernice “Bernie” Rhodenbarr, who is blackmailed into doing jobs for a corrupt cop named Ray Kirschman (G. W. Bailey, who is pretty much the go-to guy for bad cops after Police Academy). Then, Dr. Cynthia Sheldrake (Leslie Ann Warren) hires her to break into her ex-husband’s house, only for him to be killed. Another set-up, this time by her and her lawyer (James Handy).

With the help of her friend Carl Hefler (Bobcat Goldthwait), she investigates the case herself, learning that Christopher (Stephen Shellen), the dead husband, had plenty of girlfriends. Boyfriends, too, including the man who killed him, who ends up being — spoiler warning — the lawyer.

Is this a Giallo?

In an interview with Kevin Smith, writer Jeph Loeb — who went on to write comic books — said that this was going to star Bruce Willis with Whoopi Goldberg playing a neighbor. Bruce dropped out, and Goldberg moved into the lead. Not everyone was happy, as Roger Ebert said that Burglar was “… a witless, hapless exercise in the wrong way to package Goldberg. This is a woman who is original. Who is talented. Who has a special relationship with the motion picture comedy. It is criminal to put her into brain-damaged, assembly-line thrillers.”

Loeb wrote this along with Matthew Weisman and its director, Hugh Wilson, who created WKRP in Cincinnati and Frank’s Place in addition to directing the aforementioned Police Academy. He also made The First Wives Club and Dudley Do-Right. I bet Ebert loved that movie. Actually, he did! He gave it 2 1/2 stars out of 4 and wrote, “I did a little wincing the ninth or tenth time Dudley stepped on a loose plank and it slammed him in the head, but I enjoyed the film more than I expected to. It’s harmless, simple-minded, and has a couple of sequences better than Dudley really deserves.”

88 FILMS BLU-RAY RELEASE: Love & Crime (1969)

“King of Cult” Teruo Ishii (Horrors of Malformed Men, Shogun’s Joy of Torture) shares four stories of real-life crimes of passion involving women throughout Japan’s history, including the Hotel Nihonkaku Murders; Oden Takahash, the poison wife and last woman to be executed by beheading in Japan; serial killer Yoshio Kodaira and Sada Abe, whose story was also told in Nagisa Oshima’s In the Realm of the Senses.

This is one of seven movies that Ishii made in 1969 (Horrors of Malformed MenYakuza Law, Inferno of Torture, Rising Dragon’s Iron FleshShameless: Abnormal and Abusive Love and Orgies of Edo are the others), yet he doesn’t feel tired. If anything, this is a fully formed and intense mission statement on the nature of female evil.

Forensics examiner Dr. Murase (Teruo Yoshida) is shocked that the next body he is to perform an autopsy on is his wife, Yukiko, who had sex with another man before taking her own life. As he ponders this, he reflects on four true crime stories.

Toyokaku Inn Case is based on a 1961 incident. Chiyu Saito (Mitsuko Aoi) and her husband Kosuke (Kenjirô Ishiyama) may own a hotel together, yet she sees him so infrequently that she assumes that he’s having an affair. She’s right, as it’s the very same woman, Kinue Munakata (Rika Fujie), whom she has been confiding in. She and Kosuke conspire to murder Chiyu, along with Kinue’s faithful lover, Shibuya (Takashi Fujiki). Now the owner of the hotel, she makes it successful, but not without many more killings.

You probably know the Sada Abe story, which happened in 1936, as she was found wandering the streets covered in blood, clutching the genitals of her dead lover. What you may not know is how horrible her life was to that point. Played by Yukie Kagawa, we see how her childhood and teen years led her to, well, cutting off a man’s dick. We also meet several other women who’ve done the same, as well as Dr. Murase — in a moment of meta madness — meeting the actual Sada Abe, who disappeared soon after this. She tells him that we only truly love one person in our lives and that her lover asked to be killed.

Taking a break from women, the third story is about serial killer Yoshio Kodaira (Asao Koike). Shot in black and white, this gets grimy, as we see him set up, assault, kill and maybe even assault after death several women. This is all so the doctor can ask if women make men crazy. Come on, 1969 exploitation Japanese violence movie, be more faithful to our 2025 values.

Takahashi Oden (Teruko Yumi) doesn’t want to marry the man she’s been picked to be the wife of, Naminosuke (Shin’ichirô Hayashi). In just ten minutes or so, he gets leprosy, keeps making love to her, she gets a criminal lover, they kill the husband, and then she’s sold into sexual slavery before being beheaded. Wow.

Obviously, this won’t be a movie for everyone, but if you want to see how far ahead Japan was, both in depicting true crime and lusty tales of sex, murder and violence, this is here for you.

Released for the very first time outside Japan by 88 Films, this has audio commentary by Jasper Sharp and Amber T., a new introduction by Mark Schilling, a stills gallery, a trailer and original and new artwork by Ilan Sheady. There’s also a limited edition numbered OBI strip and booklet. You can order it from MVD.

Sizzlin’ Summer of Side-Splitters 2025: Jumpin’ Jack Flash (1986)

Aug 11-17 Whoopi Goldberg Week: She’s become a corny tv lady these days, but let’s not forget that at her peak Whoopi was one of the funniest people alive.

This is one of Becca’s favorite movies and she may have seen it hundreds of times.

Living up to its title, it has not just one but two versions of the theme: the Rolling Stones and Aretha Franklin.

Directed by Penny Marshall and written by David H. Franzoni, J. W. Melville, Patricia Irving and Christopher Thompson, this has Whoopi Goldberg as Terry Doolittle, a computer operator working for First National Bank. This is one of those very much The Net films where computers can do everything, including things they still can’t handle forty years later.

She talks to people all over the world and one of them ends up being “Jumping Jack Flash,” a British superspy who needs her help to deliver coded messages.

I loved this because so many SNL stars are in it: Jon Lovitz, Phil Hartman, Jim Belushi and Michael McKean, as well as Tracey Ullman. Sam Kinison was going to be Jack at the end, but Whoppi said no to this, ending the friendship between Kinison and Marshall and starting a feud between him and Goldberg. Supposedly, Kinison was dating Marshall! Plus, you get pre-cancelled Stephen Collins, Carol Kane, Annie Potts as a CIA agent, Jonathan Pryce and Teagan Clive as a Russian workout woman. Yes, the star of Alienator. How haven’t I made a Teagan Clive Letterboxd list yet? This would be the last of her films that I’ve covered.

Initially, this was to star Shelley Long, but she was problematic. Then, director Howard Zieff (Private BenjaminMy Girl) directed the New York footage. He and producer Marvin Worth left, replaced by Marshall and Joel Silver.

RADIANCE BLU-RAY AND 4K UHD RELEASE: Palindromes (2004)

We start at the funeral of Dawn Wiener, who got heavy, got acne, got date raped and then took her own life, all before the age of 20. Everyone worries that the way they treated her as a child is why this happened. Aviva watches these discussions and, despite only being a teenager — she’s played by eight different actors of different ages, races, and genders, but is supposed to be 13 — she wants a child.

She becomes pregnant by Judah, a family friend, and her family forces her to abort, which ruins her ability to become with child. No one tells her that, however. She runs away from home, has sex with a trucker and becomes part of the Sunshine Family, an ultra-religious home for orphans and runaways run by a father who hires a hitman to murder abortion doctors. And that killer is the trucker that Aviva just met, who she is sure that she’s in love with, until he kills the doctor, his daughter and himself via suicide by cop.

Finally, she meets Mark, who is suspected of touching Missy — the estranged sister of Dawn — who tells her that everyone is programmed to be one way or the other, that free will does not exist. But somehow, she’s able to find Judah again, who is now Otto, and feels that this time, she has a child.

Aviva is played by Emani Sledge, Valerie Shusterov, Hannah Freiman, Rachel Corr, Will Denton, Sharon Wilkins, Shayna Levine and Jennifer Jason Leigh in this Todd Solondz-directed and written movie. Of the casting, Roger Ebert said, “Consider the pathos brought to Aviva by the actress Sharon Wilkins, who is a plus-size adult black woman playing a little girl, and who creates perhaps the most convincing little girl of them all. Or Jennifer Jason Leigh, three times as old as Aviva but barely seeming her age. These individual segments are so effective that at the end of each one we know how we feel, and why. It’s just that the next segment invalidates our conclusions.”

Solondz doesn’t make easy films to watch or get your brain around. Good.

This Radiance Films release has a 4K restoration from the original negative by the Museum of Modern Art approved by writer-director Todd Solondz. Extras include a new interview with Todd Solondz by critic Hannah Strong; Todd Solondz and His Cinema of Cruelty, a new video essay by critic Lillian Crawford; a trailer; a limited edition booklet featuring new writing by Bence Bardos, extracts from the original press book, plus archival interviews with Solondz and composer Nathan Larson and a reversible sleeve featuring designs based on original posters.

You can get this on 4K UHD or Blu-ray from MVD.

ARROW BLU-RAY RELEASE: Crumb Catcher (2024)

Directed and written by Chris Skotchdopole, this starts the morning after Shane (Rigo Garay) blacks out on the night he marries Leah (Ella Rae Peck). As they get to a remote location for their honeymoon, they soon find themselves blackmailed by a waiter, John (John Speredakos), and a bartender, Rose (Lorraine Farris), from the wedding, who know something he did that he can’t remember. But they don’t want money. They want to be business partners for their invention, The Crumb Catcher.

At one point, Leah tells Shane that he’s unlovable, which makes me ask why they’ve been together so long. or why he’s so worried about losing her because of the video that John and Rose have. It seems like everyone in this is unlovable, if you want to be honest.

Kind of home invasion, kind of relationship introspection, Crumb Catcher is, well, unique. I don’t know if that’s good or bad, as several viewings may prove that to me.

Extras on the Arrow Blu-ray release of this movie include a new commentary track by Skotchdopole, recorded exclusively for Arrow Video in 2025, as well as Catching Crumbs: The Making of Crumb Catcher, a 38-minute behind-the-scenes, featuring interviews with the film’s cast and crew, created exclusively for Arrow Video; two short films by the director, a trailer, an illustrated collector’s booklet featuring an introduction by producer Larry Fessenden and new writing on the film by Richard Newby and Tori Potenza and a reversible sleeve featuring original artwork by Tessa Price and Sister Hyde. You can order this from MVD.

Murder, She Wrote S2 E6: Reflections of the Mind (1985)

When a phone call from Francesca’s supposedly dead first husband precedes a fatal incident, Jessica must unravel the truth from hysteria to find a killer.

Season 2, Episode 6: Reflections of the Mind (November 3, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote

Jessica comes to stay with an old college friend, Francesca Lodge, after everyone thinks that she is suffering from a mental breakdown and claims that her first husband’s ghost is haunting her. And when her second husband dies in a car wreck, she loses it all the way.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Francesca is played by Ann Blyth (Mildred Pierce) in her last acting role.

Carl is played by Wings Hauser, one of my all-time favorites. Man! Wings on Murder, She Wrote!

Dr. Victor March is played by Steven Keats from Death Wish and The Ivory Ape.

Martin Milner is Sheriff Bodine. This is the first of five appearances on the show for him.

Ben Murphy is Scott Lodge.

Stacey Nelkin is in this, too, as Cheryl Lodge. She’s in Halloween 3.

Esther Rolle is Margaret. She was on Maude and Good Times.

Janet DeMay is Brooke Evans.

Franny Parrish is a nurse.

What happens?

This starts with one of my favorite things: a publicity photo being used as an actual photo, with Ann Blyth and Angela Lansbury showing up in an old image to set up how long they’ve been friends. Francesca is reading Jessica’s new book, The Umbrella Murders. Is it a Giallo? Anyways, she gets scared by her husband and stabs him in the hand, which is enough to get sent to the nut house.

Jessica’s friends are all rich and insane and often, dead. Or soon dead. This one has a haunted music box that her husband’s spirit takes charge of and makes it play when it shouldn’t! Plus, she has Wings Hauser, of all people, as a landscaper! That’s a bad idea, and I’m not a fictional wealthy lady and know that! Come on!

She’s also the kind of rich woman whose husband is cheating on her and then drives off a cliff. There’s also a black gloved killer. There’s also a Giallo killer! What!?! Plus, Wings Hauser’s character is a blue-eyed soul singer named Hot Silk!

Who did it?

Hot Silk and Ann Blyth’s daughter killed the stepdad and two canaries.

Who made it?

It was directed by Seymour Robbie and written by Robert E. Swanson.

Does Jessica get some?

No. She also doesn’t do the next one.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

We need her to act drunk soon.

Was it any good?

It’s a Giallo. You know I liked it.

Any trivia?

This episode was filmed at Greystone Mansion, where The Big LebowskiDeath Becomes HerThe Witches of EastwickNothing But TroubleHush…Hush, Sweet CharlottePhantom of the Paradise, the original version of Flowers In the Attic and many more movies were made.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Jessica Fletcher: I don’t want to alarm you, but something very sinister is going on here.

What’s next?

Jessica goes on vacation and a woman drowns.