Jessica visits a women’s prison and is held captive when an uprising occurs because of abuse and murder at the facility.

Season 2, Episode 9: Jessica Behind Bars (December 1, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Jessica teaches a class for a women’s prison on the day it locks down, and the staff doctor gets killed. She becomes the negotiator between the inmates and the police, trying to solve the crime before the cops arrive.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Dixie is played by Margaret Avery, who sure was in The Color Purple, but I’d tell you she’s from Terror House.

Kathryn is Adrienne Barbeau, and if you don’t know her, what are we even doing?

Barbara Baxley is Amanda Debs, also known as Lady Pearl from Nashville.

Miss Springer is Yvonne De Carlo, Lily Munster!

Linda Kelsey plays Mary Stamm. She was in two more episodes of the show and also on Lou Grant.

Janet MacLachlan is Dr. Irene Matthews. She was also in Heart and Souls.

Vera Miles from Psycho and The Searchers is Elizabeth Gates.

Susan Oliver, who played Vina, the green slave girl in Star Trek, is Louise.

Eve Plumb, Jan from The Brady Bunch, is Tug.

Mary Woronov! Yes! She’s Brady.

In smaller roles, Bertha is played by Susan Peretz, Donna Ponterotto is Jamie, Diana Bellamy is the Head Guard, Gay Hagen is the First Guard, Faith Minton is the Second Guard, Jan Stratton is the Gate Guard, and Darlene Conley is Mims. Prisoners are played by Mary Albee, Linda Carlin, Jadie David, Betty Jeanne Glennie, Marilyn Horn, Lorraine Keeling, Kym Washington Longino, Marti Reese and Ilona Wilson, while Reena Bartlett and Cis Rundle play guard.

What happens?

Before Jessica arrived at the prison — and for the 20 years — Amanda Debs has turned being the deputy warden of the West Barrington Institute for Women into a means to accumulate wealth and influence, running a ring of corruption within the prison that includes Dr. Irene Matthews and grocery delivery driver Mrs. Mims. She’s been growing in her power as Warden Elizabeth Gates has been running for state senate.

A new nurse catches on, and Dr. Matthews kills herself — her suicide note says, “I have been thinking about killing myself for some time. I will all my worldly possessions to all the lesbian inmates in this prison.” — and Debs makes it look like a murder, locking everything down, trapping Jessica with her students.

Working with Kathryn, she turns the lights out and also kills Mrs. Mims, then plans to escape before the cops come in. However, Jessica is able to figure that out and saves the day before the cops come in, shooting everyone.

Who did it?

Amanda.

Who made it?

This episode was directed by John Llewellyn Moxey and written by Carleton Eastlake, who mostly wrote for science fiction shows.

Does Jessica get some?

No. I would like to make a sapphic fanfic of this episode, however.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

No. I mean, come on, Jessica.

Was it any good?

Yes. This is a tense one that changes the format.

Any trivia?

The jail is located in The Square of Warriors, also known as Spartacus Square, at Universal Studios Hollywood. Other movies filmed there include Thoroughly Modern Millie, The Blues Brothers, History of the World, Part I, Cloak and Dagger, The Shadow, and The Scorpion King.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Jessica Fletcher: Well, I particularly liked the way the gas station bandit was caught. You know, having the getaway driver accidentally shift into reverse and crash into the police car… Now, that showed a great deal of imagination.

Tug: Not exactly. That’s the way it happened.

What’s next?

Cabot Cove is flooded with poison pen letters, which proves hard for the town to handle as Amos prepares to hand the reins over to a new sheriff. Jason’s mom shows up!

When Walter (George Newbern) can’t handle the grief of losing his wife because of an intruder — despite having Dr. Joyce Brothers as a therapist — an ex-NASA scientist, Dr. Kurt Rotwang (Vincent Schiavelli), sends him to other realities where Ruth (Elizabeth Berkley!) could still be alive with his Probability Engine. None of those are what he wants, and if there’s a lesson in this, it’s that sometimes you have to take the hand that the world has dealt you.

Directed by Russel Mulcahy (Highlander, Razorback) and written by Peter Atkins (Hellraiser II, Hellraiser III, Fist of the North Star, Wishmaster, Prisoners of the Sun), this is one of the better episodes of this show. Oddly enough, Meadow Soprano is watching this one in The Sopranos episode “I Dream of Jeannie Cusamano.”

This episode is based on “Planely Possible” from Weird Fantasy #21, written by Al Feldstein and William Gaines and drawn by Jack Kamen. Unlike many episodes of this show, this one is actually close to the original story, including the moment when Walter’s alternate reality self is put into an incinerator and tries to assume his place, which sets off a series of events that only worsen from there. You’ll see where this time loop is going, but that’s part of why this works so well.

You can download all of the episodes here or watch this episode on YouTube.

Jessica goes to the races to watch her niece ride the winning horse, but then the horse’s disagreeable owner is murdered after a dispute.

Season 2, Episode 8: Dead Heat (November 24, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Jessica has the difficult task of proving that her niece was framed for the murder of a horse breeder. We can all relate to that kind of rich people’s life, right?

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Vicky Gallagos is played by Priscilla Barnes, who replaced Suzanne Somers on Three’s Company and also shows up in The Devil’s Rejects. She was also in Lords of the Deep, Stepfather 3 and Tintorera. Her husband, Carlos, is played by Bert Rosario.

Ramon Bieri played Pat Phillips, the first of three times he’d be on this show.

Jack Cart,– the mayor from Alligat,— is Cliff Carpenter. Playing his wife Christine is Carole Cook, a student of Lucille Ball.

Jack Bowen is played by Lonny Chapman from The Birds, The Witch Who Came from the Sea and plenty of TV.

Vince Shackman is Norman Fell, and I wonder if he and Priscilla Barnes gossiped between takes.

Jessica’s niece, Tracy, is played by Linda Grovenor, and in the same year she made this episode, she was in Wheels of Fire. Life’s crazy.

Is that Clu Gulager? Yep. You know it. He was in three episodes of this show.

Roy Thinnes, who was on The Invaders and The Norliss Tapes, plays Lt. Ted Misko.

Im smaller roles, Cookie Milford is Derrel Maury, Erine is Tom Dreesen, Mr. P is Robert Ellenstein, Alex Rebar plays a gunman, Freddye Chapman is a nurse, Don Matheson is the chief steward, Stu Gilliam is a cab driver, Tony Ballen and Richard Paradise (those sound like porn names) are bookies, Faith Burton, George Sasaki, Walter Spear and Ken Clayton are watches the horse races, Mel Gold is a trainer and Joe Faust is a guard.

What happens?

Jessica goes to watch her niece, Tracy, race on the very day she gets promoted to ride Jack Bowen’s prize horse, Anchors Away. For some reason, everyone is betting on this race, from the wife of its jockey — who had to go to the emergency room — Viky, some mob guys and a husband and wife who are at the track every day. Tracy wins, the owner is killed, and the cops appear to arrest Tracy on suspicion of fixing the race.

Good thing Jessica showed up.

Another good reason is that Tracy is the suspect in the murder of the owner, which is fantastic to be able to get promoted, win a race and kill your boss all in the same day. Tracy’s LinkedIn has to be incredible.

What follows is the mob wanting to know what happened, Jessica using a carrot to test a horse, a horse nearly trampling Jessica and finally, a second fake Anchors Away.

Who did it?

The wife of the jockey, Vicky.

Who made it?

This episode was directed by Peter Crane and written by J. Miyoko and Steven Hensley, who also scripted the TV Movies Finder of Lost Loves, Can You Feel Me Dancing?, Remo Williams: The Prophecy and episodes of Magnum, P.I.

Does Jessica get some?

No.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

No.

Was it any good?

It’d be better if Jessica dressed silly and got some dick.

Any trivia?

This is one of the few episodes to mention Jessica’s brother, Martin.

Jessica says that she’s a Pisces, so her birthday is between February 19 and March 20. In real life, Angela Lansbury was a Libra, born on October 16, 1925.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Bookie #1: Separately, it’s peanuts, Vince. Put it together, and we’re chokin’.

Bookie #2: How did we know Mike Gann was bettin’ all over town?

Vince Shackman: I can add.

What’s next?

Jessica visits a women’s prison and is held captive when an uprising occurs because of abuse and murder at the facility. This episode is a Sam dream cast: Eve Plumb, Vera Miles, Yvonna De Carlo, Adrienne Barbeau and Mary Woronov.

A woman named Lisa Gerou (Yancy Butler) has shaped her body to perfection. Then, she goes a decade backward by a scientist (Paul Williams) to meet Nick Boyer (William McNamara), who is obsessed with an ideal of perfection. They have the best lovemaking of their lives, but then he’s the one who screws himself, so to speak. David Leisure shows up, too.

Director Ramón Menéndez also made Stand and Deliver, while writer Mark Verheiden wrote the Dark Horse Aliens and Predator comic books, as well as Superman. He also wrote the movies Timecop, The Mask and My Name Is Bruce.

This episode was based on “Given the Heir” from Weird Science #16, which was written by William Gaines and Al Feldstein and drawn by Jack Kamen. It’s the story of a man who meets one of his future descendants who is traveling back in time, ready to murder the first husband of one of their ancestors so she can inherit his wealth. Yeah, it goes bad.

You can download all of the episodes here or watch this episode on YouTube.

In a future where murders are sporadic, a sadistic serial killer — and scientist — by the name of 50557 (Jeffrey Combs) tests the theory of Dr. Nordhoff (David Warner) that everybody can be rehabilitated. Maybe they can get even worse. Even the advice of 40132 (Ron Perlman), a rehabilitated killer, isn’t enough. So what else can they do but send him to a world that he can do little to damage.

As he’s sent down, a tech asks, “What about the inhabitants of the planet?”

Dr Nordhoff says, “I wouldn’t worry. He’s just one man. How much damage could he possibly do?”

Cue the Hitler speech.

This episode is based on “The Exile” from Weird Fantasy #14, written by William Gaines and Al Feldstein and drawn by Wally Wood, in which it’s revealed that yes, the Führer was a space alien.

This episode was directed by William Malone, who also made Scared to Death, Creature, House on Haunted Hill, Feardotcom and the “Only Skin Deep” episode of Tales from the Crypt. It was written by David J. Schow.

Also: Did you know Chrome the robot wants to have sex? She’s to bad sex puns as The Cryptkeeper was to horror ones, except, you know, most people love that guy. No one likes Chrome.

You can download all of the episodes here or watch this episode on YouTube.

When a phone call from Francesca’s supposedly dead first husband precedes a fatal incident, Jessica must unravel the truth from hysteria to find a killer.

Season 2, Episode 6: Reflections of the Mind (November 3, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Jessica comes to stay with an old college friend, Francesca Lodge, after everyone thinks that she is suffering from a mental breakdown and claims that her first husband’s ghost is haunting her. And when her second husband dies in a car wreck, she loses it all the way.

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Francesca is played by Ann Blyth (Mildred Pierce) in her last acting role.

Carl is played by Wings Hauser, one of my all-time favorites. Man! Wings on Murder, She Wrote!

Dr. Victor March is played by Steven Keats from Death Wish and The Ivory Ape.

Martin Milner is Sheriff Bodine. This is the first of five appearances on the show for him.

Ben Murphy is Scott Lodge.

Stacey Nelkin is in this, too, as Cheryl Lodge. She’s in Halloween 3.

Esther Rolle is Margaret. She was on Maude and Good Times.

Janet DeMay is Brooke Evans.

Franny Parrish is a nurse.

What happens?

This starts with one of my favorite things: a publicity photo being used as an actual photo, with Ann Blyth and Angela Lansbury showing up in an old image to set up how long they’ve been friends. Francesca is reading Jessica’s new book, The Umbrella Murders. Is it a Giallo? Anyways, she gets scared by her husband and stabs him in the hand, which is enough to get sent to the nut house.

Jessica’s friends are all rich and insane and often, dead. Or soon dead. This one has a haunted music box that her husband’s spirit takes charge of and makes it play when it shouldn’t! Plus, she has Wings Hauser, of all people, as a landscaper! That’s a bad idea, and I’m not a fictional wealthy lady and know that! Come on!

She’s also the kind of rich woman whose husband is cheating on her and then drives off a cliff. There’s also a black gloved killer. There’s also a Giallo killer! What!?! Plus, Wings Hauser’s character is a blue-eyed soul singer named Hot Silk!

Who did it?

Hot Silk and Ann Blyth’s daughter killed the stepdad and two canaries.

Who made it?

It was directed by Seymour Robbie and written by Robert E. Swanson.

Does Jessica get some?

No. She also doesn’t do the next one.

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

We need her to act drunk soon.

Was it any good?

It’s a Giallo. You know I liked it.

Any trivia?

This episode was filmed at Greystone Mansion, where The Big Lebowski, Death Becomes Her, The Witches of Eastwick, Nothing But Trouble, Hush…Hush, Sweet Charlotte, Phantom of the Paradise, the original version of Flowers In the Attic and many more movies were made.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Jessica Fletcher: I don’t want to alarm you, but something very sinister is going on here.

What’s next?

Jessica goes on vacation and a woman drowns.

For years, Kevin Pollak has done a Shatner impersonation. So why not have him in a Shatner-directed and starring episode as the potential son-in-law of the man who is Kirk?

A pilot (Pollak) has been engaged to Adm. Kornfeld’s (Shatner) daughter Dulcine (meta here, it’s Shatner’s real-life daughter Melanie, who was also in Syngenor, Cthulhu Mansion, Bloodstone: Subspecies II and Bloodlust: Subspecies III). He’s been forced to wait until the wedding night to consummate their union. While waiting for her — and her father to deactivate the chastity device that keeps him away from her lady business — he falls for Emmy (the Swedish Bikini Team’s Heather Elizabeth Parkhurst), a sex bot who he gets stuck inside, just when that device is hacked by his soon-to-be bride.

Not based on an E.C. Comic, this episode was written by National Lampoon alumnus Chris Miller and Kevin Rock.

You can download all of the episodes here or watch this episode on YouTube.

Jessica is left in shock by the news of her cousin Emma’s untimely passing. However, her world is turned upside down when she discovers that Emma’s death was a ruse, a clever ploy to escape the clutches of a dangerous threat.

Season 2, Episode 5: Sing a Song of Murder (October 27, 1985)

Tonight on Murder, She Wrote…

Jessica receives a call about the death of her cousin Emma. When she gets to London, she learns that she has inherited the Mayhew Theater and that her cousin is alive. 

Who’s in it, outside of Angela Lansbury, and were they in any exploitation movies?

Violet Weems is Sarah Douglas, who kicked off my fascination with bad girls when she was Ursa in the Superman movies.

Olivia Hussey — from Black Christmas! — is Kitty Trumbull

Barrie Ingham from Dr. Who and the Daleks is Inspector Roger Crimmins.

Bridget O’Hara is played by Glynis Johns, Mrs. Banks from Mary Poppins.

Patrick Macnee is Oliver Trumbull. Yes, from The Avengers and tons of horror movies.

Danny Briggs is played by Gregory Paul Martin.

Don Siegel’s son, Kristoffer Tabori, is Ernest Fielding.

More minor roles include Kenneth Danziger as Acrhie Weems; Gillian Eaton as a landlady; Terrence Scammell as a director; Richard Davies and Neal Hunt as toughs, John Straightley; David Grant Hayward and Ron Southart as police officers; Larry Carr, Farrell Mayer, Tony Regan, Walter Spear, William Ward and Kathryn Janssen as theater audience members, Freeman Love as a bartender and Paul LeClair as a theatre executive.

What happens?

Emma, who faked her own death, is revealed to be none other than Angela Lansbury herself. This unexpected twist adds a whole new layer of intrigue to the episode, especially when she takes on a new persona and performs a musical number. And you know how much I love when Lansbury gets to do an accent, sing or dress like a moron.

Jessica finds Bridget going through Emma’s house to steal something. She gets her fur coat and wears it, only to be hit by a car that is out to kill Emma. She’s just in the way, or more to the point, they don’t know who they killed. It all seems like Oliver has to be the person who is trying to kill Emma and who killed Bridget.

Who did it?

Oliver’s lover, Kitty, felt that Emma was holding him back from being the star that he deserved to be.

Who made it?

It was directed by TV movie master John Llewellyn Moxey and written by series creator Peter S. Fischer.

Does Jessica get some?

This is one of only three episodes where Jessica gets an on-the-lips kiss with one of her male guest stars. This time, it’s Oliver Trumbull, the boyfriend of her cousin Emma, and it’s a case of mistaken identity. This rare occurrence adds a layer of complexity to the plot and Jessica’s character. She also gets kissed in S1, E0, “The Murder of Sherlock Holmes“, and S3, E6, “Dead Man’s Gold.”

Does Jessica dress up and act stupid?

It starts with Emma — close enough, it’s still Angela — singing  “Good-bye, Little Yellow Bird,” the same song she sang in The Portrait of Dorian Gray.

Was it any good?

Good cast, not a bad episode.

Any trivia?

Angela Lansbury and Olivia Hussey were mother and daughter in Death on the Nile. 

The last name MacGill is used several times for Jessica Fletcher’s ancestors or relatives. It’s taken from her real-life mother’s stage name, Moyna MacGill.

Give me a reasonable quote:

Bridget O’Hara: Danny Briggs! As poor an excuse of a human being as God ever made! This quote captures the intense emotions and drama of the episode, highlighting the tension between the characters.

What’s next?

When a phone call from Francesca’s supposedly dead first husband precedes a fatal incident, Jessica must unravel the truth from hysteria to find a killer. Wings Hauser is in it!