DAY 7. DAIKAIJU: The bigger the better. Who needs a city anyway?

Today’s theme is close to my heart. As a young kid in the 1970’s, WFMJ-TV 21 in Youngstown, Ohio played monster movies every night at 1 AM (or later, if Tom Snyder was on). They only had so many Godzilla films before they’d run out and have to run a secondary Toho franchise.

Yes, this movie is a franchise, the sequel to 1965’s Frankenstein Conquers the World. Instead of Nick Adams, this time we have Russ Tamblyn as the American star. This is the third and final film that Toho would collaborate with Henry G. Saperstein on (in addition to the Frankenstein, they also made Invasion of Astro-Monster together).

Saperstein was an interesting guy — he specialized in licensing, working with Col. Tom Parker as Elvis Presley’s licensing agent as well as creating and selling merchandise for Debbie Reynolds, Rosemary Clooney, Chubby Checker and the Three Stooges. He’d go on to syndicate golf and bowling shows in the infancy of TV, as well as buying UPA, the studio that made Mr. Magoo. He led them to syndicating the Dick Tracy TV show, another merchandising goldmine. He also purchased the rights to the Japanese spy spoof Kokusai Himitsu Keisatsu: Kagi no Kagi (International Secret Police: Key of Keys), which became What’s Up, Tiger Lily? with help from Woody Allen.

At the end of 1965, Toho informed director Ishiro Honda that his director’s contract would not be renewed, despite successes like the original Godzilla, King Kong vs. Godzilla,  the unstoppable Destroy All Monsters, Rodan, Mothra and many more. Of course, he kept directing for Toho, but now there was the stress of wondering if each job would be his last.

To add to that stress, it’s said that Russ Tamblyn and Honda were often at odds, with the American actor refusing to read his lines. Honda’s chief assistant, Seiji Tani (who would go on to be the second unit director for Destroy All Monsters) would tell the authors of Ishiro Honda: A Life in Film, from Godzilla to Kurosawa: “Honda-san had to hold back and bear so much during that one. Russ Tamblyn was such an asshole.”

I don’t know how much you know of Japanese culture, but for someone to go on record saying such a thing is a major deal. For what it’s worth, Saperstein would later say that Tamblyn was “a royal pain in the ass.” As all of his lines were dubbed in Japanese, the American actor had to go back and redub the US version. He forgot all of the words, so what’s in the film is completely improvised. If only Tab Hunter, the original actor picked for this movie, stuck around.

The film was originally announced as The Frankenstein Brothers, then The Two Frankensteins, Frankenstein vs. Frankenstein, Frankenstein’s Decisive Battle and Frankenstein’s Fight. Regardless of the title, this is one of my favorite Toho films. I’m not the only one. Brad Pitt has gone on record saying it’s the reason why he wanted to become an actor. The battle between Uma Thurman and Daryl Hannah in Kill Bill: Volume 2 was called the “War of the Blonde Gargantuas,” with Tarantino screening the film for Hannah. And both Tim Burton, Nicholas Cage and Guillermo del Toro cite the film as one of their favorites.

Maybe it’s because of the scene where Kipp Hamilton sings “The Words Get Caught In My Throat,” which ends with one of the titular beasts grabbed her as she finishes her act. Has any monster movie been this gleefully crazy? I mean, would Devo cover any other monster movie song?

It all begins on a dark and stormy night, as a fishing boat is attacked by a giant octopus, which is then destroyed by a green giant who proceeds to decimate the boat. Only one survivor makes it, telling the authorities that it was Frankenstein.

The press picks up the story and interviews Dr. Paul Stewart (Tamblyn) and his assistant, Dr. Akemi Togawa (Kumi Mizuno, who starred in plenty of kaiju epics), who once had a baby Frankenstein in their possession.

Yes, in the original film, Frankenstein was born in a very strange way. German officers had taken the heart of the original Frankenstein’s monster from Dr. Riesendorf and sent it to Hiroshima for further experimentation. Of course, once the bomb dropped, the beast was irradiated and became a feral boy running loose through the streets, eating small animals and becoming immune to radiation. He eventually becomes a giant and battles Baragon, who would go onto appear in many Toho films (you can also see his skull in Pacific Rim Uprising).

There end up being two beasts in this one: Sanda, who is the original from the first film and Gaira, a piece of tissue that was torn off, made its way to the sea and fed off plankton until it grew into giant form. The new creature hates humans and is hurt by daylight, while Sanda attempts to save people.

The final battle, as the two monsters fight into Tokyo Bay, is amazing. Their skirmish is so violent, an underwater volcano ends up taking both of them out. Sadly, there would be no third film in the series, despite rumors that one of them would battle Godzilla in an upcoming film.

There are multiple American versions of this film, with the Saperstein cut removing all references to Frankenstein Conquers the World and the creatures called gargantuas instead of Frankensteins.

Haruo Nakajima, who played Godzilla in 11 of the original 15 movies, has claimed Gaira as his favorite role, as the costume was very easy to move in and his eyes were visible, allowing him to show more emotion.

I have a test as to whether or not I can be friends with someone. If they watch a kaiju movie and make fun of how cheap it is or how fake it looks, they have no imagination. In my mind, this movie looks incredible, with huge sets and intricate monster costumes. I’ve watched this hundreds of times and it gets better with every single viewing.

DAY 5. MUMMY’S DAY: An ancient woman wrapped in linen has resurfaced with new purpose.

There are plenty of mummy films to choose from, but ever since I wrote this article on section 3 video nasties, I’ve been wanting to watch this.

Dawn of the Mummy was directed by Farouk “Frank” Agrama, who was also behind the camera for the abysmal King Kong parody, Queen Kong. He’d go on to form Harmony Gold — yes, the same people who redubbed Macross, Southern Cross and Genesis Climber Mospeda and turned them into Robotech. After that, he’d later be convicted of buying and selling film rights at inflated prices in a scandal that also brought down former Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi. Agrama would have gone to jail if he wasn’t 82 years old, but was later exonerated.

Dawn of the Mummy was shot in Egypt with a mostly Italian crew, which allows it to transcend its boring beginnings and emerge with a second half filled with utter mayhem, as these mummies aren’t just content to shamble around. No, they’re closer to zombies that must feast upon the flesh of the living.

The film begins in ancient Egypt, where youngvillagers are taken away to be the servants for Pharaoh Sefirama in the next life. As we watch his body get prepared for the next world, they’re killed with poison gas and the entrance to the tomb is sealed. Then, the high priestess places a curse on the pyramid, declaring “he who enters this tomb, after it is sealed, will die on the dawn of the mummy”.

By the way, if you watch movies with me, please know that any time the title of the film is said within the dialogue, I scream and yell as if I’m Pee-Wee Herman and you just said the secret word.

We then fast forward to the present, where the high priestess — now an ancient crone — chases off some grave robbers. They’re persistent, however, even in the fact of poison gas, but we soon discover that they’ve met their demise when a fashion shoot in the desert ends up with a model tripping over one of their severed heads. Yep — if you’re expecting a bloodless mummy affair, you picked the wrong scuzzy movie to enjoy.

One of the grave robbers, Rick, has survived. The film then goes into he and his henchmen following the fashion shoot into the cursed pyramid. Yes, you may have always wondered, “How would the pharaohs react to disco and vogueing?” This is the movie that strives to answer that question.

The photographers being their lighting into the pharaoh’s burial chamber, which behins to wake the slumbering monarch. Then someone spills a bowl filled with the mummy’s organs and burns her hands, thanks to the blood of the mummy. That sends a torrent of zombie-like mummies into the streets. Numerous explosions later, our heroes — such as they are, they’re all pretty much morons — celebrate even through Pharaoh Sefirama is still alive.

This movie was remade in 2015 as Prisoners of the Sun, with Joss Ackland and John Rhys-Davies. It’s directed by Roger Christian, who of course brought us Battlefield Earth.

Anchor Bay released this years ago, but it’s currently out of print. If you want to see it, it’s on Amazon Prime. It’s nowhere near as good as the poster makes it look, but it’s certainly different than most mummy films. It’s a movie so messy and scummy that you feel like you may very well be covered in the dusty, mucky and grue of the tombs that it explores.

DAY 3. SPORTS AND FITNESS: All pain, no gain. A workout watch out!

For this year’s challenge, I’ve wanted to avoid the expected and find movies that nobody is really talking about. Plus, each movie could never have been posted before to our site. That means that movies like Death Spa and Killer Workout were verboten.

The Japanese LOVE baseball, perhaps more than their American counterparts. Their love, however, is filtered through their own lens, which means that their edited American games take out everything between pitches. That means that a game that takes us 3 hours or more to watch can take but minutes. Keep that in mind and you’ll understand how a movie like Deddoboru came to be.

The film starts with young Jubeh Yakyu playing a game of catch with his father, who asks him to throw him his best pitch. This is a horrible time for Jubeh to discover he has superpowers, as the resulting throw ignites Earth and blows his dad up real good.

As a result, Jubeh becomes a juvenile delinquent and hero of the teenagers of Japan, doing things like killing fifty people a week and throwing TV sets at people. He’s sent to the Pterodactyl Juvenile Reformatory, a place where his adopted brother was once a prisoner before his death.

Chief warden Ishihara — not-so-coincidentally the granddaughter of a Nazi collaborator — is in charge of the prison baseball league and knows that the team will finally have a chance if Jubeh is on their team. Also: her butler looks exactly like Klaus Nomi, a fact that is called out in the film.

Director Yudai Yamaguchi knows of strange baseball. He also directed 2003’s Jigoku Koshien (Hell Stadium), or as it’s known in the West, Battlefield Baseball. The hero of that film was also named Jubeh, but this is less of a straight sequel than just another movie about deadly baseball.

Tak Sakaguchi, who plays Jubeh, is pretty much acting like the Japanese Man With No Name in this, constantly smoking and looking cool while he does so. Literally, he has the superpower — in addition to being able to throw father-murdering fastballs — to generate a cancer stick whenever he needs it.

Should you watch it? Does the prospect of a giant robot covered with swastikas and evil prisoner women battling a superpowered Asian Clint Eastwood fill you with glee? Because if it not, anata ni wa kokoro ga arimasen, as the Japanese say.

You can watch this for free on Popcorn Flix.

DAY 2. SOMEBODY’S GOTTA DO IT: Something involving a less than desirable job must be done.

You gotta give it to David DeCoteau. Who else could have directed Sorority Babes In the Slimeball-Bowl-A-Rama, the surprisingly homoerotic Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper and this child-friendly film?

How does this tie into the theme? Well, Duffy the cat, improbably voice by Eric Roberts, has the worst job of all. He’s a people whisperer, doomed to fix the lives of some pretty dumb folks.

Yes. Eric Roberts is the voice of a cat. We’re going here.

Wealthy Phil Barber (Johnny Whitaker, Sigmund and the Sea Monster) just paid someone to decorate his home and sold his computer company so that he can spend more time with his male model son Chris. If you go through the woods, you’ll end up at the home of single mom Susan (Kristine DeBell, who debuted in the x-rated Alice In Wonderland and was the photographer for the April 1976 cover of Playboy by Helmut Newton) and her two children.

Can Duffy get these two adults together? Well, probably. But he has the limitation of only being able to speak to each person one time in his life.

This was shot in the same mansion as DeCoteau’s 1313 film series in 3 days. Actually, if you saw Jules Jordan’s Ass Worship 13, it’s that house too.

Eric Roberts spent 15 minutes recording his dialogue, which may have been around ten minutes too long.

Also, big chunks of the film are either establishing shots that last way too long to be establishing and b-roll footage that goes nowhere. There are 59 establishing shots in this 83-minute long movie. Just add that up in your head.

Plus, there’s a major plot point involving ruined cheese puffs. Sorry. Spoiler warning.

In short, it’s everything you want it to be.

If you ever wondered, what if someone made Look Who’s Talking Now? with less of a budget and the quite potentially certifiably insane Eric Roberts as a laconic housecat who survives getting hit by a cat, all shot so it looks like a softcore gay porn movie while a keyboard version of “La Cucaracha” plays repeatedly well good news. This movie was made for you. I have no idea who you are. I’m actually a little afraid of you.

You can watch this on Amazon Prime. You pretty much should right now.

DAY 1. SLIP INTO SOMETHING CHALLENGING: Ease into 2019’s list by watching something with a lot of slime, body goop or questionable muck in it. Wiggle your toes in the gooey glory. 

Sure, I could start off easy. But I’ve already watched Street Trash, The Stuff and Society, the two movies that most make me think of slime in films. Movies like Slime City Massacre, Slime City, The Green Slime and The Slime People seemed too easy.

Which meant that there was only one place to go: Hideshi Hino’s Guinea Pig series. Part 6 to be exact. Mermaid In a Manhole.

If you don’t know what Guinea Pig is, you probably shouldn’t.

Hino was born to Japanese immigrant workers in Northeast China and his family left just as Japan surrendered to the Soviets. They were nearly killed en route and when they arrived back in the mainland, he’s claimed that his grandfather and father were both in the Yakuza. These memories have informed his horrific manga visions in books like Panorama of Hell and Ghost School.

Hino produced the Guinea Pig series to transform his manga into movie form. These videotapes became infamous when the fourth film of the series, Devil Woman Doctor, was found in the thousands of tapes that Japanese serial killer Tsutomu Miyazaki owned. Because of this controversy, the series went out of print but the series has been reissued on DVD in the US, UK, Netherlands and Austria.

In 1991, the series made international news thanks to Charlie Sheen. Film Threat editor Chris Gore had given him a copy of the series and upon watching the second installment, Flowers of Flesh and Blood, Sheen was convinced that he was watching a snuff film. He called the FBI, who soon learned that Japanese authorities were already on the case, as they had summoned the filmmakers to court to learn if the movies were fake.

Maybe everyone would have been better off if they just kept watching, because at the end of each video, there was behind the scenes footage of how the makeup and FX were achieved.

Make no mistake — these are unrelenting and sadistic films. Your capacity to withstand gore will be tested by them. But this is perhaps the easiest in a very rough lot and absolutely overflowing with the requisite slime, body goop and questionable much for today’s challenge.

https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x587zhx

The Guinea Pig 6: Mermaid in a Manhole (Za Ginī Piggu: Manhōru no naka no Ningyo) is based on one of Hino’s manga stories.

An artist is trying to cope with the death of his pregnant wife through the work he creates. For inspiration, he often visits the sewers beneath Okinawa, places that once had been rivers where he once met a mermaid as a child. Now, she has been trapped in the sewers but agrees to let him paint her.

However, all the time within the muck and bile has given her tumors all over her body. The artist takes her back to his home and keeps her in a bathtub, giving her medicine in the hopes of bringing her back to life.

The more she suffers, the more she oozes blood and pus from nearly every orifice in her body, fluids that the artist is able to use to create art. Yet with each brushstroke, she’s nearer to the final curtain, demanding that he continue painting her all the way to the point of her death.

That said — she may not have been a mermaid at all, but instead his terminally ill wife — and the fetus that he removed after her death just possibly may have been their child. Yet where did the scale come from that they discovered in the bathtub? And just what is moving in the sewers after the credits?

Mari Somei, who played the mermaid, is a real trooper for her work in this, being covered near head to toe in practical and oozing effects. The artist is played by Shigeru Saiki, who is in Audition as well as several sentai shows on Japanese TV.

As for answering the Scarecrow Challenge for today, I don’t know where else I’d be able to find a movie so awash in fluids. There are literal geysers of vomit, blood, bodily fluids and even intestines filled with worms and insects spraying out all over the bathroom tile. There’s a message here about love and loss or art and death, but really, it’s nearly an hour of watching a mermaid expire in a filthy tub. Only in Japan, right?