2019 Scarecrow Psychotronic Challenge Day 2: A Talking Cat!?! (2013)

DAY 2. SOMEBODY’S GOTTA DO IT: Something involving a less than desirable job must be done.

You gotta give it to David DeCoteau. Who else could have directed Sorority Babes In the Slimeball-Bowl-A-Rama, the surprisingly homoerotic Bigfoot vs. D.B. Cooper and this child-friendly film?

How does this tie into the theme? Well, Duffy the cat, improbably voice by Eric Roberts, has the worst job of all. He’s a people whisperer, doomed to fix the lives of some pretty dumb folks.

Yes. Eric Roberts is the voice of a cat. We’re going here.

Wealthy Phil Barber (Johnny Whitaker, Sigmund and the Sea Monster) just paid someone to decorate his home and sold his computer company so that he can spend more time with his male model son Chris. If you go through the woods, you’ll end up at the home of single mom Susan (Kristine DeBell, who debuted in the x-rated Alice In Wonderland and was the photographer for the April 1976 cover of Playboy by Helmut Newton) and her two children.

Can Duffy get these two adults together? Well, probably. But he has the limitation of only being able to speak to each person one time in his life.

This was shot in the same mansion as DeCoteau’s 1313 film series in 3 days. Actually, if you saw Jules Jordan’s Ass Worship 13, it’s that house too.

Eric Roberts spent 15 minutes recording his dialogue, which may have been around ten minutes too long.

Also, big chunks of the film are either establishing shots that last way too long to be establishing and b-roll footage that goes nowhere. There are 59 establishing shots in this 83-minute long movie. Just add that up in your head.

Plus, there’s a major plot point involving ruined cheese puffs. Sorry. Spoiler warning.

In short, it’s everything you want it to be.

If you ever wondered, what if someone made Look Who’s Talking Now? with less of a budget and the quite potentially certifiably insane Eric Roberts as a laconic housecat who survives getting hit by a cat, all shot so it looks like a softcore gay porn movie while a keyboard version of “La Cucaracha” plays repeatedly well good news. This movie was made for you. I have no idea who you are. I’m actually a little afraid of you.

You can watch this on Amazon Prime. You pretty much should right now.

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