Author Archives: bandsaboutmovies

FP 2: Beats of Rage (2018)

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EDITOR’S NOTE: This was first on the site on . As I’ll be exploring the films of Jason Trost this week, this movie has been reposted.

Years after the events of The FP, JTRO (Jason Trost) and KCDC (Art Hsu), former members of the 248 gang, must travel through the Wastes to save the FP all over again in a Beats of Rage tournament. This time, the enemy is AK-47, the leaders of the Wastes, and he may finally be the man who will 187 JTRO.

This is the first of many planned sequels to The FP, despite Trost and none of the film’s investors making any money from that film. He said that it was a challenge “to figure out a way to get people to fund a sequel to a movie that recouped zero dollars.” The inspiration for this one is Escape from L.A. while the next film will be like Rocky Balboa (which makes sense, as the line about girls taking away your legs appears here word for word from Rocky).

Much like The FP, you’ll enjoy this if your early years on this Earth were primarily spent playing side-scrolling beat ’em ups like Double Dragon and watching post-apocalyptic movies.

You can watch this on Tubi.

TUBI ORIGINAL: Trap House (2023)

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After finding the dead body of Commander Meeks (Jason Tremblay) and the body of a dead man with a similar tattoo to him — we see this guy get his head gorily blown clean off with a shotgun — Detective Grant Pierce (Jaime M. Callica) decides to take matters into his own hands and get revenge on whoever is running the ever-evolving, never stopping and always moving trap house that is filling his city with meth and the morgue with dead bodies thanks to all of its traps.

There’s a gas masked meth cook killer who is smart enough to jam phone signals as he lures criminals and cops alike to his trap house. The crooks — who include Roscoe (Fletcher Donovan), Sandy and Cormac, have forced Fibs (Peter Bundic) , a high school basketball player who has barely survived the death of his mother and the alcohol addiction of his father, to be part of their gang as they go Lights Out and try to rob the trap house. At the same time, Pierce is undercover and has left the cops after arguing with one-time friend Chief Bougourd (Benjamin Wilkerson) takes him off the case.

Directed by Nicholas Humphries and written by Jordan Robinson (Requiem for a Scream), this is a movie that basically has a trap house with traps. And a baby. They have a baby in the trap house! Nobody trusts anybody as they enter this den of drug highs and quick death. So they could either kill one another or have the house kill them. Man, I’m shocked the child isn’t armed or ruining its baby teeth by smoking up all that Christmas tree laying around!

If you didn’t like this, Tubi also has the movies Queen of the Trap House, Queen of the Trap House 2 and Dog Face: A Trap House Horror.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Malice: Emergence (2018)

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The final chapter of the Malice series, Malice: Emergence has Alice (Brittany Martz) thinking that she’s about to escape her small town for college. But that creature that lives under her house won’t let her leave nor will a government operation that sneaks into town and captures her, fills her with truth serum and interrogates her to discover what exactly is going on.

Phillip J. Cook somehow made this for me because he must have reached into my brain and saw that I was looking for a film where a tough heroine battles the government — even wondering if she’s the next Ruby Ridge — to defend what amounts to be a mushroom god. Alice goes from “the girl who blows things up” to the girl that literally faces off with Apache helicopters and unleashes tentacles upon them while her friends open fire on the U.S. armed forces who have been coerced into overstepping their authority.

The end of this came with some sadness, as I felt like I grew with the characters across all three collected movies. Here’s hoping there’s more coming from the mind of Cook, who continually surprises me with each new adventure.

You can watch this on Tubi. You can watch the individual chapters here.

Night Gallery Season 3 Episode 1: The Return of the Sorcerer (1972)

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With season 3 of Night Gallery, the show moved to half an hour and often only had one story per episode, which allows some of the better tales to breathe. Or so you’d think, until you realize they had only 24 minutes for each story.

Sadly, this is the last season of the show, but we’ll try not to be too broken up about it. But when you read about how this show was treated going into season 3, that gets a bit difficult.

According to Rod Serling’s Night Gallery: An After-Hours Tour by Scott Skelton and Jim Benson, NBC wanted some changes with the show, as it kept coming in second place to CBS’s Mannix. Beyond the half an hour format, they also made the show more action and suspense instead of outright horror. And they moved it from Wednesday nights to Sundays, a night usually reserved for family viewing.

Serling was not pleased.

“I’m fucking furious. These people are taking what could have been a good series and are so commercializing it,” he told actress Tisha Sterling.

Instead of a battle between Laird and Serling, now he was facing Universal, who wanted to keep NBC happy so the show could be picked up for syndication and make them money. And NBC wanted “an action-packed horrorfest.”

After one of his scripts, “A View of Whatever” was rejected, Serling even wrote a resignation letter in May of 1972 and asked for his name to be taken off the show. However, he had a contract with Universal and he was stuck.

Now that there was one story per week, the creative budgeting that allowed for multiple stories to be shot all in the same larger budget went away. And Jeannot Szwarc said that the scripts weren’t the same quality because once the network stopped caring, everyone else seemed to. “The ratings were good enough, the demographics were sensational, but NBC never understood that show,” he said. “All those guys are heavily into control and there was something a little bit chaotic and anarchistic about Night Gallery that NBC didn’t like.”

CBS responded to the move by sending Mannix to Sundays and ABC had their Sunday Night Movie, which always got big numbers.

The funeral for Night Gallery started before the season did.

Directed by Jeannot Szwarc and written by Halsted Welles from a story by Clark Ashton Smith, “The Return of the Sorcerer” finds Noel Evans (Bill Bixby) answering a want ad for an interpreter. He’s to work for John Carnby (Vincent Price), a sorcerer who is studying the Latin Necronomicon but has found a new Arabic book of spells. The last two men he hired have quit and he threatens Noel’s life to keep him on task.

Meanwhile, Carnby’s assistant Fern (Tisha Sterling, The Coming) has dinner with Noel. joined by her Carnaby’s goat father. There, he learns that the warlock has already killed and dismembered his twin. But more importantly, Fern wants him. She wants him bad.

The translation of the Arabic book frightens Carnaby more than Noel, as it discusses that some magic users can keep their power. Even after death. Even after dismemberment. He cries of his brother, “I hated him because his magic was stronger. But Fern — she caused it! She wanted to be stronger than both of us.”

What follows is a Black Mass — on a Sunday night on NBC no less — where the two brothers are reunited and, one assumes, Fern finally has the power she craves. Now, spider to the fly, she wants to lead Noel to her bed.

What a wild story to start this season off with. The sets were designed by Joseph Alves, who worked with Szwarc on Jaws 2 and ended up directing Jaws 3, as well as building the model New York City for Escape from New York and many other production design miracles. Szwarc showed him the art of William Blake and Aleister Crowley, which led Alves to Dennis Moore and Babetta Lanzilli, the witch owner of the Sorcerer’s Shop in Hollywood.

The Black Mass in the show really does have the names off Astototh, Asmodeus, Baal, Belial and more. It was all too much for Serling, who said “I believed those words we were saying were really powerful and meaningful, and one shouldn’t conjure up that kind of energy. It frightened me. I felt I was giving myself over to some dark. horrible force.”

Again, in 1972, this could air on prime time. At the start of the next decade, the Satanic Panic would be in full bloom.

Despite how dour season 3 will get, this is a great start filled with talent. Let’s see how things progress.

ETs Among Us 3: Secret Space Program, Alien Psychics & Crop Circle Clues (2018)

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At one point in this movie, Linda Moulton Howe discusses how she was inside a crop circle and a space voice spoke to her and sounded like a tiger. This is why I watch the movies of Cybela Clare.

Cybela has brought together her experts again —  Linda, Robert Dean, Robert Morningstar, Nick Pope and Richard Dolan — to discuss how aliens and humans can speak via their minds and, yes, crop circles.

So yeah, some say things like “there is no scientific evidence for such explanations and all crop circles are consistent with human causation.” I personally don’t believe that they are a weather-based phenomena and the thought of human beings making them seems quite frankly boring. I certainly place even less stock in the story that Australian wallabies were running in circles after eating opium-laced poppies than I do in aliens.

I don’t want to know things, to be honest. Sure, I want to learn about them and study them, but I don’t want to know the exact answers to whether aliens exist or if crop circles are magnetism or if there are or aren’t bases on the moon. Will I listen to people discuss them? Obviously, yes. But as Lemmy once sang, “The chase is better than the catch.”

You can watch this on Tubi.

Junesploitation: Fist of Fear, Touch of Death (1980)

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June 9: Junesploitation’s topic of the day — as suggested by F This Movie— is Fred Williamson! We’re excited to tackle a different genre every day, so check back and see what’s next.

Adolph Caesar — the man whose voice told us “A mind is a terrible thing to waste” and the trailer for Dawn of the Dead — is standing outside Madison Square Garden where a tournament has been set up to decide the new king of martial arts in the wake of the death of Bruce Lee. Never mind that Bruce died in 1973 and this is six years later.

This event is actually one of the Oriental World of Self Defense shows put on by Aaron Banks, who is all over this movie. Starting in 1966 as small shows on the east coast, the shows grew in popularity until they ran monthly at Madison Square Garden.

Banks also is given to saying some of the dumbest things ever in this movie, like how he knows that Bruce was killed by the “Touch of Death” which even got reported in Black Belt magazine years later, with them claiming that  Lee died from “a delayed reaction to a Dim Mak strike he received several weeks prior to his collapse.”

The quivering palm, as they also call it.

The same power that Count Dante claimed that he had.

Like the Five Point Palm Exploding Heart Technique.

Then they edit old Bruce Lee footage to make you think he agrees.

If you are offended by the truth being punched, kicked and chopped, you might not enjoy this movie. If you love the tabloid world of grindhouse pseudo-reality films, get on board.

After that, we see how hard it was for Fred Williamson to get to the show. He wakes up late — in bed with a gorgeous woman, as he should — before battling his way through traffic and people who think that he’s Harry Belafonte. That’s an easier way to MSG that Ron Van Clief has, as the star of The Black Dragon — and a man who fought Royce Gracie in a UFC match at the age of 51 — has to battle through four muggers.

Then it’s time for us to discover the story of Bruce Lee from this movie in a way that has never been told this way again. Using footage from a 1957 movie The Thunderstorm, we learn that a young Bruce was karate obsessed and wanted to live up to the samurai legacy of his great-grandfather. You may at this point wonder if the people who made this knew that samurai were from Japan.

Using footage from The Invincible Super Chan, we discover the life of that Chinese samurai before Bruce comes to America and becomes an actor despite the fact that he was in movies from his toddler years and was in 27 movies before The Big Boss in 1971. It ends with an actor named Bill Louie dressed up as Kato from the Green Hornet — Lee’s breakthrough in the U.S. — as he saves two women — one is Gail Turner, Patty from Don’t Go In the House — from being assaulted. Then he kills one of them with a shuriken.

Then we’re back in MSG and The Hammer tells us that the whole idea of a tournament to replace Bruce Lee is pretty stupid. Fred, you’re in the movie about it. You’re literally breaking kayfabe when you look at the camera and say, “Two guys fighting for Bruce Lee’s title that doesn’t even exist, I mean, that’s kind of absurd, isn’t it?”

Meanwhile, the karate match to determine the next martial arts superstar is really a boxing match. This is after a match where Bill Louie ripped out a man’s eyes and threw them to the crowd and suddenly in Italy, Lucio Fulci felt a twitch and wondered why he suddenly was interested in martial arts.

Also known as Dragon and the Cobra — perhaps to cash in on Williamson playing Black Cobra? —  this was released as a Sybil Danning’s Adventure Video title and man, that back title alone makes me lose consciousness. Maybe that’s Sybil using Dim Mak on me.

Matthew Mallinson only directed this film, but he also edited Tales of the Third Dimension, Unmasked the Idol, The Order of the Black Idol and Caged Fury. It was written by Ron Harvey, who help turn Zombie Holocaust into Dr. Butcher M.D. There’s a connection between that movie and this film, as Terry Levene produced Fist of Fear Touch of Death and he was the man behind Aquarius Releasing, He also owned the rights to the movies torn apart for this. A movie this absolutely scummy could only come from Aquarius Releasing, I guess.

This is a movie with the sheer balls to end with this line describing Lee in a movie devoted to people dressed like him, the actor redubbed saying things that he never said and then going through his best Brucesploitation clones: “He was the prototype. Everything else is just an imitation.”

You can watch this on Tubi.

Space Vampire (2020)

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Taking its title — possibly — from Lifeforce and some ideas from Under the Skin. Chris Alexander’s Space Vampire has Ali Chappell (she’s been in nearly all of his projects, including Necropolis: Legion, Scream of the Blind Dead, It Knows You’re Alone, Girl With a Straight Razor and Parasite Lady) dressed in leather and stalking a victim (Cheryl Singleton) when she isn’t simply filling the frame while low end beats pulse and wave. Alternatively, she’s showering off the blood or puking it in the bathtub.

Also known as Last Dream of the First Girl — yes, my Jean Rollin theories of Alexander’s inspirations seem to be true — Space Vampire takes advantage of being made in Southern Ontario, as the Dundurn Castle, a historic neoclassical mansion, appears. But most of what we see will be images pushed into the brightest state they can be, colors filling the screen and blood, always blood. 

So many reviews of this movie absolutely hate it. I love that it exists on Tubi and someone could be looking for a vampire movie and come across this droning film, one that takes so long and yet is so short to tell whatever nonstory it has. And that’s a compliment. It feels like something that should be confronting you in a museum and yet here it is, next to episodes of old sitcoms and whatever else a free streaming service has to unleash upon the unsuspecting.

If you have no patience, this will test you. If you want to watch a woman in a vinyl catsuit deal with the pain of vampirism while noises whirl under her when she isn’t somewhere outside of Toronto making bloodsucking footprints in the snow, I really have no idea what movie will satisfy that particular craving except for this one.

You can watch this on Tubi.

Outerworld (1987)

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EDITOR’S NOTE: You can read another take on this movie here.

2074: Corporations control the world instead of governments. Genetically engineered superbeing Pentan (Tracy Davis) serves her creator, Kuriyama Enterprises,  as a corporate assassin and covert agent. Her latest mission involves finding an abandoned alien ship, the second that has crashed landed. The first made those that found it rich beyond their wildest fantasies; the kind of rich that can change Pentan’s life.

The only problem is that because she’s turned her back on her creators, a nanite bomb in the back of her head will kill her in just a few days unless scientist Robert Thorton (Rick Foucheaux) can save her.

Together with space jockey Harold Brickman (Hans Bachman), she plans on finding the treasure while avoiding the massive star cruiser Promethian and the killers who want her back. And oh yeah — instead of just pretending to have feelings, she’s finally developing them.

Outerworld originally was StarQuest: Beyond the Rising Moon and if you had Sci-Fi back before it was SyFy, you may have seen it. Director and writer Phillip J. Cook took this shot on film effort and restored, remixed and added new digital video effects to improve the movie.

Cook’s Gerry Anderson influence is all over this movie, as the ships look like they could come from Stingray or any other of his shows. As a kid, I used to stare in wonder at a book of spaceships that had art by Colin Hay, Chris Foss, Angus McKie and Peter Elson. This movie takes those gorgeous pieces of space fantasy art and makes them as real as possible (and as a low budget will allow). There were thirty hand-built sets and over 270 effects shots which were all achieved for around $175,000. That budget is the most science fiction part of this entire film as it’s incredible that they were achieved for such a low price.

Pentan is the one who is strong and capable, yet unable to trust as she’s never been programmed to. Brickman takes on the role that women usually do in science fiction, needing to be rescued and protected.

Plus, this is lean and mean. 78 minutes. More movies should be that length.

Beyond working for Don Dohler — and then working as a DP for Godfrey Ho on Undefeatable — I assume that Cook played tons of Star Frontiers. This is the second review of his films that I’ve claimed that he played a deep cut TSR game — Despiser feels so much like Gamma World it could be a module for that game — and if I ever get to speak to Mr. Cook, I plan on asking him tons of questions about the Legion of Gold and the Knight Hawks.

What I love about all of his films is that they return you to the joy and wonder of being a child. I get the same kind of sense of amazement that I received when I watched Starcrash at the drive-in. And even when people decry the story or the effects, I can’t hear a single thing they say. This movie is beyond criticism. All I can do is tell you why it’s important to me and ask you to watch it.

You can watch this on Tubi.

The FP (2011)

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EDITOR’S NOTE: This was first on the site on . As I’ll be exploring the films of Jason Trost this week, this movie has been reposted.

In The FP, disputes between rival gangs are settled by playing Beat-Beat Revelation, a dancing video game similar to Dance Dance Revolution. The 248 and the 245 are battling to control the FP — Frazier Park — and lessons must be learned.

This all comes from the minds of Brandon and Jason Trost. Brandon has gone on to do cinematography for Crank: High Voltage, Rob Zombie’s Halloween II, and Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, while Jason has created the film series All Superheroes Must Die and the film Wet and Reckless. He’s really blind in his right eye — or is trying to be fashionable — which is why he’s always wearing an eyepatch.

The film begins with L Dubba E, the leader of the 245 gang, murdering BTRO, the leader of the 248 gang. As a result, his brother JTRO (Jason Trost) leaves the FP behind to become a lumberjack.

A year later, L Dubba E has taken over the FP and is holding back all the booze, which is leading to an increase in meth usage and homelessness. KCDC (Art Hsu, who is also in Crank: High Voltage), another 248 member, brings our hero back home, where he reunites with Stacy, an ex-girlfriend who is now sleeping with the enemy.

Can JTRO rise to the level of his brother? Will Stacy stop having sex with the main bad guy and realize she loves our hero? Will people bring guns to a dance off?

If you’ve ever played video games, you’ll probably enjoy this more than most people. Jason Trost came up with the idea in his teens when he noticed people treating Dance Dance Revolution like an intense battle. The dialogue was inspired by Def Jam: Fight for NY, which makes absolute and total sense.

Best of all, James Remar is in the film as the narrator. He met the brothers when their dad worked on Mortal Kombat Annihilation‘s effects team.

This is the kind of film that you’re either going to fall in love with instantly — like I did — or think it’s the dumbest thing you’ve ever seen. Imagine Mad Max with dance-offs and you’ll get the idea.

You can watch this for free on Tubi.

Malice 2: Metamorphosis (2018)

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After the events of the first Malice, Alice (Brittany Martz) tries to live a normal life but is known in her school as “the girl who blows things up.” Now, she’s haunted by dark dreams of an epic medieval battle, Roman solders and the armored specter of her deceased father. You know, normal teen stuff.

But Alice is a teen. She speaks like one. Acts like one. And this film just feels so completely authentic to me, despite its fantasy setting.

After barely surviving the confrontation with the beast beneath her house — which cost her the life of her father (Mark Hyde), yet she was able to save her mother (Leanna Chamish, Deborah Merritt from the WNUF Halloween Special!) and sister Abbey (Nora Parker) — Alice is concerned that she’s really going mad instead of dealing with nightmares that promise that a great reckoning is due to come to her small town. And oh yeah, she has a stepfather, Jed Spry (Matt Gulbranson), and Catholic school to deal with.

I realize that this is a super low budget effort — like all of Phillip Cook’s movies — but it’s deserving of your time to watch it. How often do you get a movie that deals with fantasy, growing up, ecoterrorism, conspiracy and a tough and capable girl being in charge?

You can watch this on Tubi. You can also watch all of the original episodes here.