I am sorry, Red Sonja. For years, I have doubted you. Surely you cannot be as good as Conan the Barbarian and Conan the Destroyer. You have to be a weaker sister, I always thought, so I avoided you.

I was wrong. So wrong.

Today, dear reader, I am here to tell you that while this film is not as good as the first two Conan romps, it’s still an astounding sword and sorcery adventure filled with plenty of great effects, well-shot battles and a cast of some of my favorite actors.

Oddly enough, Red Sonja may be owned by the Robert E. Howard estate, but the character itself was really created by Roy Thomas and Barry Windsor-Smith. In the original Howard story, The Shadow of the Vulture, Red Sonya of Rogatino was actually a 16th-century gun-toting warrior fighting the Ottoman Empire. Thomas and Windsor-Smith took that fierce spirit, swapped the pistols for a broadsword and dropped her into the Hyborian Age, and thus, the She-Devil with a Sword was born.

Man, those 70’s Conan comics were so popular! People fell in love with the idea that Sonja could be as tough as Conan and had promised the goddess Scáthach that, in exchange for heightened strength, stamina, agility and fighting skills, she would never lie with a man until he could defeat her in fair combat.

Let’s not debate how the survivor of sexual assault must pretty much get beaten up to enjoy lovemaking, because that’s the kind of complex argument that won’t be solved inside a movie that’s really about stabbing people. I’m not saying it’s an important discussion to have, but I’m an expert in exploitation movies, not humanity.

Directed by Richard Fleischer, whose career goes from the heights of Soylent Green and 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea to the depths of The Jazz Singer and Amityville 3-D — not to mention Mandingo — this moves quick, looks good and is just plain fun.

After surviving the death of her family and being attacked by the soldiers of Queen Gedren (Sandahl Bergman*, who seems to relish the opportunity to play a villain instead of the female sidekick), Sonja trains to become a legendary warrior.

Meanwhile, her sister Varna (Janet Agren, Hands of Steel, City of the Living Dead) has become a priestess in an order of women who plan on banishing the Talisman, which created the world but could now destroy it. If any man touches it, he disappears, so of course, Gedren wants to use it for her own ends. Led by Ikol (Ronald Lacey, Toht from Raiders of the Lost Ark), her army kills the priestesses and takes the Talisman for their queen.

Lord Kalidor** (Arnold Schwarzenegger) finds Varna and brings Sonja to her, where she learns of the Talisman and how she can kill two birds with one stone by destroying it and Gedren. Her adventures take her to meet Prince Tarn (Ernie Reyes, Jr.), a young king of a land destroyed by Gedren, and his bodyguard Falkon (Paul L. Smith, who was the handyman in Pieces and Bluto in Popeye). She also defeats the ominous Lord Brytag (Pat Roach, the former pro wrestler who shows up as a major bad guy in so many movies, from the mechanic that Indiana Jones knocks into a Flying Wing in Raiders of the Lost Ark to Hephaestus in Clash of the Titans, Toth-Amon in Conan the Destroyer and General Kael in Willow) before an awesome duel with Kalidor for the right to aardvark*** and then another battle against Gedren as her castle explodes with lava flowing everywhere.

Speaking of that great cast, this also features a third Indiana Jones alum, Terry Richards, who played the Arabian swordsman that Indy so memorably shot after a long flourish of sword-swinging. Plus, Tutte Lemkow, best known as the Fiddler on the Roof, is a wizard, and the Swordmaster who trains Sonja is Tad Horino, who was also Confucius in Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey. Erik Holmey, who played the soldier who asked, “What is best in life?” and replied, “The open steppe, fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair!” is in this. And of course, Arnold’s buddy Sven-Ole Thorsen shows up.

Plus, how can you be let down by an Ennio Morricone score?

Again, I’m sorry, Red Sonja. You’re actually pretty darn good.

*Bergman was offered the role of Red Sonja, but turned it down, choosing instead to play Queen Gedren. Producer Dino De Laurentiis met with actress Laurene Landon and was set to offer her the role until he learned that she had already played the same part in Hundra. He spent a year looking for an actress who looked like an Amazon, almost picking Eileen Davidson (The House On Sorority Row) before discovering Brigitte Nielsen on the cover of a magazine.

**There’s a fan theory that Kalidor is really Conan, as some heroes would use “adventuring names” while they were in other counties, like how Gandalf was also known as Mithrandir. De Laurentiis didn’t have the rights to use Conan again, which explains the financial situation. Speaking of money, Arnold signed up for a cameo as a favor to the producer, but one week turned into four, and when he saw a rough cut of the movie, he realized that he was really a co-star. This is why he terminated his 10-year deal with De Laurentiis.

***They totally did, for real, according to Arnold in his book Total Recall – My Unbelievably True Life Story. Nielsen confirmed this in her book You Only Get One Life, saying that they had “no restrictions” in their lovemaking. You know, while some of us debated whether Stallone or Schwarzenegger was the best action hero, Neisen has Biblical knowledge.

The Arrow Video 4K UHD release of this film has a 4K restoration from the original negative with new HDR grading by Arrow Films. Extras include two coimmentaries, one by critics Eugenio Ercolani and Troy Howarth and the oyther by comic book expert Dave Baxter; new interviews with Ernie Reyes Jr.; action unit supervisor Vic Armstrong; Arnold’s stunt double Pietro Torrisi, stuntman Ottaviano Dell’Acqua, assistant production manager Stefano Spadoni, FX artist Domingo Lizcano discussing the work of Emilio Ruiz del Río and make-up FX assistant Adriano Carboni; archival interviews with poster artist Renato Casaro and assistant director Michel Ferry; The Man Who Raised Hollywood, an archive featurette on Schwarzenegger’s career featuring filmmakers Peter Hyams and Arthur Allan Seidelman, producer Edward Pressman and others; a trailer; an image gallery; a reversible sleeve featuring two original artwork options by Renato Casaro; a collectors’ perfect-bound booklet featuring new writing on the film by John Walsh, Nanni Cobretti and Barry Forshaw; a double-sided foldout poster featuring two original artwork options by Renato Casaro and six postcard-sized reproduction artcards. You can get it from MVD.

The rapid-fire world of professional tennis meets the raw reality of new motherhood in The Second Set, a documentary that proves even a four-time Grand Slam champion isn’t immune to the what now? The moment that follows childbirth. While many sports docs focus on the glory of the comeback, director Kathleen Jayme captures the quieter, more harrowing struggle of Naomi Osaka navigating postpartum depression while the world of tennis demands she return to elite form.

Produced by a powerhouse lineup including Nike, LeBron James’ SpringHill and Osaka’s own Hana Kuma, this isn’t just a highlight reel of aces and trophies. It’s an intimate, often heavy look at a woman rebuilding her identity from the ground up. We see Osaka just six months after giving birth, grappling with the fear that her first set of fame might have been the peak, and wondering if she can still find that killer instinct while her heart is focused on her daughter, Shai.

I don’t know much about tennis, but this was still an amazing film. It’s one thing to go through the sport, but realizing all the real-life pressures gave me an insight I would never have otherwise. You don’t need to know the difference between a cross-court forehand and a double fault to feel the weight of Osaka’s anxiety. It’s a universal story about the terrifying transition into parenthood.

You can watch this on Tubi.

If you’re watching this, you already know who Gary Ridgeway, Wesley Brownlee, Juan David Ortiz and Khalil Wheeler-Weaver are. But how do you think you would do against them if it came down to it? Yes, this Tubi special will ask you to confront yourself with that every question.

Directed by Victoria Duley and written by Ben Greguoli, this is the kind of show that plays in my house all day and night. My wife will eventually murder me, make no mistake, and all of these shows have given her the know-how to do it. I mean, when she went to Seattle this year, she toured the Green River Killer’s dumping grounds and brought back water from the river, which sits on our bookshelf. She’s going to put antifreeze in my beer, eyedrops in my Turner’s iced tea, and trap the steps to the movie basement. Look for all my really prized Blu-rays on eBay soon or at the many local used stores. A lifetime of collecting Tinto Brass movies will pay off for you and not me, because I’ll be dead.

This movie highlights that no one expects to become a target until it happens, forcing viewers to consider their own survival instincts. It features firsthand accounts from individuals who escaped attackers like Brownlee, who was out hunting and ambushing people late at night in Stockton. Survivors describe the intense physical and mental battle for their lives, with one recounting being choked so hard they were spitting teeth.

I soon will know what that is like as I am suffocated or shot in the back of the head, my life cut short and everything I own liquidated into TJ Maxx and Hobby Lobby gift cards.

Remember me.

You can watch this on Tubi.

It’s a fascinating cycle, isn’t it? The same platform that hosts 70s Giallo and obscure SOV horror is also the home for TMZ’s No BS deep dives. There’s something strangely poetic about watching a documentary regarding the world’s biggest pop star on the same service where you might find a movie about a killer refrigerator.

Before the Grammys, Bad Bunny was Benito, the kid from Vega Baja posting tracks to Soundcloud while working shifts at the Econo supermarket. He didn’t wait for a label; he built a massive digital footprint before the industry even knew his name.

Years later, he’s played the Super Bowl halftime show, dated beautiful women, championed the Latino and LGBTQ communities and even wrestled at WrestleMania. But who is he, you may ask?

Why not have the folks from TMZ tell you his story? What is Spotify’s most-streamed artist all about? They’re not all that sure — Harvey Levin claims he grew up on Ricky Martin, despite being 75 years old and not wanting to tell us that he was 25 in 1975, so he probably grew up on other bands. Why must I have this OCD that makes me watch every Tubi Original, even all these TMZ ones? Yes, of course I will. 

Anyway, I like Bad Bunny. I don’t like his music, but I like what he stands for and how hard he works. He takes chances, and not many people do these days. One of his biggest chances was refusing to record an English-language crossover album. Most Latin stars of the past (Ricky Martin, Enrique Iglesias, Shakira) were pressured to Americanize. Bad Bunny forced the world to learn Spanish or at least learn to vibe to it.

In the music video for “Yo Perreo Sola”, he performed in full drag to highlight harassment against women and support the LGBTQ community. In the hyper-masculine world of trap and reggaeton, that wasn’t just a fashion choice. It was a statement that cost him some conservative fans but solidified his status as a boundary-breaker. Even better, he doesn’t just tweet; he shows up. He was a central figure in the 2019 Puerto Rican protests that led to the resignation of Governor Ricardo Rosselló, using his platform to demand accountability for his island.

Coming back to the WWE. Most celebs do a one-and-done wrestling appearance. Benito trained for months to actually work a match, earning the respect of a notoriously cynical fanbase. It’s that same work ethic he’s always had. If he’s going to do it, he’s going to do it at 100%. Same as when he was on Saturday Night Live. 

You can watch this on Tubi.

Frank Grady (Leo Rossi) isn’t just a dirty cop. He’s a man whose expiration date just got moved up to tomorrow morning. The Internal Affairs interrogation serves as the ticking clock. In true noir fashion, Grady isn’t seeking redemption—he’s seeking an exit strategy.

When he confronts Murray (Ron Perlman), the dynamic shifts from business partners to predator and prey. Perlman excels at playing capos who view loyalty as a transactional commodity. Instead of a suitcase full of cash, Murray hands Grady a suicide mission: clean the streets of every rival in a single night. It’s a classic one last job, but fueled by the adrenaline of a man who has absolutely nothing left to lose.

Does a girl get involved in this noir? You know it. Sydney (Terese Celeste) is just another reason for him to take the money and run. Adding to the danger? She’s Murray’s girl.

Directed and co-written (with Rossi and Chad Law) by Tom DeNucci, this has the look of the 80s — well, at least the movie version — as well as a synth score to go with. At times, like the close, it feels almost dream-like. Think rain-slicked pavement reflecting pink and blue neon. It captures that specific 1980s cinematic grit where the night never seems to end. 

Without spoiling it, the finale drifts away from gritty realism into something more ethereal, a common trait in Loser Noir where the protagonist’s reality begins to fracture under the pressure.

If you’re a Sons of Anarchy fan, you’ve probably already seen this, as Rossi, Perlman and Kim Coates played Juice, Clay and Tig on the TV series. If not, they’re all great actors and really give it their all here.

Also: This is not the André de Toth or Shane Black movies of the same name that came out in 2025.

You can watch this on Tubi.