EDITOR’S NOTE: Babe Watch was on USA Up All Night on April 18, 1987 and December 13, 1997.

Rick Sloane is the undisputed king of the USA Up All Night movie, and with Babe Watch, he manages to capture that specific lightning-in-a-bottle stupidity that makes his work—like the Vice Academy series—beloved works of, well, I guess art is the word.

The premise is exactly what the title promises: a collection of gorgeous lifeguards and dim-witted jocks descending upon lifeguard school. Also known as Bikini Academy, this series of vignettes centers on two lead girls locked in a rivalry for the guys, interrupted by frat-style pranks, volleyball games, and the occasional—and very begrudging—attempt at water safety. The plot serves as nothing more than a thin veil for beach shenanigans, allowing for a Smallest Bikini Contest and various other excuses to keep the camera at chest level.

The hero of this is Lucki (Raelynn Saalman,  Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold), and she’s up against the nefarious Bodacia (Tane McClure, Midnight Tease), who comes from Silicone Valley. They’re joined by Ty-Dy (Ashlie Rhey), Brock (Steven Todd Lange), Crucial (Geoffrey Hughes), Dek (Christopher Tichy), Pittsburgh native Kelli Hoffman as Bambi and Derek (Steven Johnson), all led by the Miss Thelma Louise Devonshire of the beach, Miss Woodrow (Jordana Gowan).

As with all of Sloane’s movies, this is both goofy and trashy. There’s a scene featuring a rubber octopus attack that is so gloriously, aggressively cheap that it makes Ed Wood’s Bride of the Monster look like a high-budget creature feature.

Is it good? By any traditional metric, no. But if you have a soft spot for the specific brand of beach-blanket exploitation that defined the era, Babe Watch delivers exactly the kind of mindless, sun-drenched chaos you’re looking for.

I’m so happy I spent tons of money to get the secret Vinegar Syndrome version of this movie.

You can watch this on Tubi.