Once upon a time, let’s say 1987, Mark and John Polonia made Splatter Farm, a shot on video slasher all about twins sent to live with their aunt who soon discover that her handyman is a killer.
Thirty years in film time — and thirty-three in real life — and the killings have begun again in Wellsboro, Pennsylvania. What a time for a bunch of teenagers to go and party at the cabin, huh?
This was co-directed by Jeff Kirkendall, who plays Jeremy the killer. He shows up in nearly every Polonia movie, which all have their own strange universe of actors that show up.
While the budget is a challenge — as always in these movies — a slasher doesn’t need hundreds of thousands of dollars to be effective. This sets up the teens — and some older people, as well — and before you know it, the kills come quickly. There’s enough gore — both digital and practical — to keep the bloodthirsty happy.
This doesn’t break any new ground, but it moves quickly and delivers what it promises. It has a great title and poster, which is really half the battle when you think about it. It also has a goofy theme song and only 70 minutes of run time, which is pretty much the length all movies should be.
While John Polonia, Todd Michael Smith and Marion Costly have sadly passed away, for those looking for the next step in the Splatter Farm story, I think you’ll be pretty pleased with this.
You can get Return to Splatter Farm on demand and on DVD from Wild Eye.