The most comforting aspect of these Philippine First Blood and Commando inversions is that you can always count on Mike Monty, Nick Nicholson, and Paul Vance to show up as the ubiquitously evil CIA, KGB, or General (from either the Ruskie or Yank side) with one hand over their heart — and the other in the war-profiteering honeypot.

The truth is, for as awful as these Southeast Asian namsploitation’ers can get, they are sociopolitical eye openers. Here, in the U.S., we safely experienced the Vietnam War that raged between November 1, 1955 – April 30, 1975, as “Big Three” network evening news broadcasts; the peoples of Vietnam, Laos, Cambodia lived it — in real time. And those horrors spilled into the islands of Indonesia. So, while hokey, these films do you give an understanding of how Indonesians viewed the western outsiders: as plutocrats. For the Americans, and even the Russians, not only screw each other, but themselves — with the “freedom” of the region on the bottom of the political agendas.

However . . . you think us Yanks get it bad in these movies: the Russians get it worse. According to No Dead Heroes, aka War Machine and Commando Massacre, the Russians have complete and total control of Central America, as they make their way up through Mexico and, eventually, into Texas (Chuck Norris’s Invasion, U.S.A ripping). All Russians hate god. All Russian men perpetually rape women. Russians will kill anyone and everyone, the young and the infirm be damned. Do they love their children too, Sting? Eh, maybe. But they do hate all the non-Russian kiddies.

“Ack. What are you doing? Political insights in a review of a Philippine war flick?”

Yeah, you’re right. Back to the mindless drivel.

First off: I am burnt out on my PWF binge this week. You know the “plot” of these films, by now, right? And Sony did a pretty decent job in the art and copywriting departments with the VHS marketing: so read the sleeve for the plot.

No, I can’t be that remiss in my reviewing duties. Besides, that copy could use some simplification.

So, we have an over-the-top Russian General conducting KGB experiments at a Vietnam prison camp. And we send in Richard Sanders and Harry Cotter (Max Thayer and John Dresden) to save the prisoners from the insane experiments. What’s “insane” about them: VC operatives are supplying Americans for the Russians to stick microchips into their brains (Hey, it’s the Apple-DOS ’80s*) to turn them into “robot assassins” via a Russian agent’s wristwatch controller.

Natch, Cotter’s not very good at his black-ops missions and wet work assignments, since he — as do all of our heroes in these Philippine war flicks, for we’d have no “plot” to speak of — is captured. Of course, he’s implanted with a chip.

Flash forward ten years . . .

Cotter — after “a command” to kill his family — is sent out on assassination missions, such as to kill the Pope and, eventually, the President of the United States. Of course, we don’t have the budget for anything to be shot in the U.S. or at the Vatican, so his Holiness conveniently tours the oppressed believers of El Salvador, aka the jungles on the outskirts of Milan. When the plan is discovered, the only man for the job is the only man who “thinks” like Cotter, which is his old friend and fellow soldier, Richard Sanders, from that botched mission from ten yahrens ago.

So, in addition to First Blood, Commando, Missing in Action, and Platoon, we’re in a pinch of Jean-Claude Van Damme and Dolph Lundgren’s Universal Soldier, along with a dash of the political thriller The Manchurian Candidate — which you most likely know for the 2004 remake with Denzel Washington, but this one pinches from the John Frankenheimer version made in 1962 with Frank Sinatra.

So, all of the expected spliced-in-clips from other films, awful dubbing, poor editing, distorted music, out-of-place sound effects that sound nothing like the actual weapon portrayed, dialog that cuts off cold before an actor can finish a sentence, ensues. It’s like a mixed-up baffle-job of the Alfonzo Brescia Italian Space Opera variety: only we are not in space and Uncle Al didn’t make it (we love ol’ Al’s Star Wars rips!).

On the upside: this one does bring on the blood. There’s so many bodies dropping, you start to lose count. Which is why we’re here in the first place: the blood and hut explosions. Get the hell out of here with that “plot” and “acting” nonsense.

Now, lets get down to what’s under the VHS sleeve.

Our director, Junn P. Cabreira, aka the Americanized J.C Miller, amassed 42 directing and 10 writing credits in a career that stretched back to 1974. But none of those mostly Filipino/Tagalog-titled films — even in the product-rabid VHS ’80s — received widespread distribution beyond their Indonesian homelands. Sure, there’s a few English-titled films that might have hit the Western drive-in circuits, possibly even home video shelves, with titles such as The Deadly Rookies (1978; starring Willy Milan!), The Tiger and the Lady (1979; starring 380-credits strong Romy Diaz), Cover Girls and Hotel House Detective (both 1981; with 600-credits Indonesian leading man Eddie Garcia), and Dope Godfather (1983, 200-credits Vic Vargas). Then there’s something called Eastwood and Bronson (1989) that, based on the title — and the fact that Indonesia “matinee idols” Richard Gomez and Joey Marquez channel Clint Eastwood and Charles Bronson in a rip of an U.S. “buddy cop” film — I want to see it even more (Magsalita tungkol sa demonyo! As of October 2021 — several months after writing this — there’s a non-dubbed copy on You Tube! Mahusay!).

What helps this Rambo-rip entry is that it was made specifically for distribution outside of Indonesia with English-speaking audiences — especially the Rambo-swamped U.S. — in mind. While they were not “stars,” well, they are at B&S About Movies, we have Max Thayer (Planet of Dinosaurs, No Retreat, No Surrender 2) and John Dresden (Big Bad Mama II) as our John Rambo and John Matrix stand-ins. Both actors struggled for a foothold in American TV and films, only managing bit parts, but forged a fruitful co-starring and leading man career in Indonesian cinema with roles in Cirio H. Santiago’s Final Mission (coming this week, search for it), Teddy Page’s Phantom Soldiers (coming this week, look for it; we are writing ahead, here), and the Cameron Mitchell-starring Raw Force (nope, you’re on your own, we can’t watch them all).

But thanks to Sly Stallone, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and Chuck Norris — and to a lesser extent, Oliver Stone with Platoon — igniting a cottage industry in Indonesia, we will remember Junn P. Cabreira the best — well, the only film, really — for his Rambo Namsplotation entry.

Ugh. Not again. We had freebie ready to go and now it’s gone. Thank goodness for watching early and taking notes in my ol’ spiral notebook. Yeah, there’s a couple other free streams out there, but the links are iffy: just don’t do it. And that’s too bad, as I like this one and I think you will to, as it is one of the better Rambo clones, courtesy of Max Thayer and John Dresden, along with the familiar faces of Mike Monty, Nick Nicholson, and Paul Vance. Eh, give this 7 minute clip a spin to see if you want to go the full (Mike) monty.

*More A.I tomfoolery with these features!

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

Finally. Phew. We are off the Godfrey Ho patch jobs sprockets of fate for an actual film: this one made by true Philippine film stars in actor-writer-directors Rudy Dominguez (80-plus credits) and Ernie Ortega (140-plus credits). Sadly, not many of their films made it to U.S. video shores with English dubs — not even their Rambo rip. Ernie’s biggest role — as far as U.S. audiences are concerned — was in Chuck Norris’s own Rambo rip with Missing in Action (1984).

Remember in First Blood how war veteran John Rambo went searching for his old war buddy stateside? Well, here we have war Sgt. E. Samson (iconic comedic actor Palito with 120-credits) on a personal mission to deliver a letter to the wife of a friend who died in the war. And as with Rambo before him: the town, well, village sheriff (Ernie Ortega) beats the troublesome vet and runs him out of the village. And like Rambo before him . . . well, you better bring the body bags, because the sheriff just tapped back into Samson’s “killer instincts” and there’s hell to be paid. And, yes, there’s a Col. Trautman here — to reel in our crazed pastry chef. Yes, you heard us right: this is a namsploitation parody joint.

As you can see from the cover, Palito ain’t no ripped Sly Stallone, and he’s mostly know for his comedic films in the Philippines. So, when our “Rambo” gets into a Kung-fu fight (and we use the term “Kung-fu” loosely), it’s more like Moe and Larry from The Three Stooges having at it, with slaps and face pokes. Oh, and Samson’s “heroism” was working as a cook — that specialized in pastries — for the American troops. Just seeing the stick-thin Palito running around with a knife that would give Crocodile Dundee pause, and lifting a rocket launcher bigger than his entire body, is, well comic gold, apparently for Philippines audiences, since this made bank. So Palito kept the bit going for two more films: Johnny Rambo Tango and Ram-Bone, and even did a James Bond spoof, James Bone: Agent 001.

Too bad there’s not an English dub or English subtitle to follow along with the Filipino and Tagalog languages, as there’s an actual film here that’s not a patchjob from other films. You can pick at the full film on You Tube.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

Oh, Ho, Ho
Oh, Godfrey
You know-oh-oh-o-o
I never believe it’s not so
That your films aren’t “magic” to me
(da-dun)

Many have not tried. But I not only tried, but succeeded, in watching (and reviewing!) your Sly-cum-Arnie-cum-Sheen-cum-Norris ripoffs in a marathon weekend. From Soldier Terminators to Mission War Flame to Super Platoon to Top Mission*. And now: here we are with Fatal Command. And some of these are second watches from my first exposure back in the VHS rental ’80s.

Why?

Because you’re the David A. Prior of the Philippines . . . and what one of your films doesn’t kill me will make me stronger. At least until the Teddy Page warsploitation flicks start rolling.

Ugh. I wish you’d splice in some Richard Harrison (Rescue Team) or Romano Kristoff (Slash Exterminator) into this patch-hack joint of yours. Well, at least you’ve given us yet another alias to talk about: now you’re Victor Sears behind the lens. And your big “star” this time out is Tao Chang. But since he was in your film Ninja Thunderbolt (1984), I have my doubts that Chang was actually in this film and not just cut-in from Ninja Thunderbolt. Sure, Chein Sun — from my ol’ rental favorite Five Deadly Venoms (1978) is here. But from which of the 40-some films he did previously was he “cast” from into your film? Okay, in your defense, Godfrey: Chang was also in your films Ninja 8: Warrior of Fire, Terminal Angels, Ninja Death Squad, and The Vampire Raiders, so maybe there’s some original footage here to be had.

Uh, there’s not.

For this is another Filmark International Presents boondoggle that is just another puzzling puzzle of an enigma wrapped in riddle stuffed inside a mystery. Yeah, American actress-turned-screenwriter and dialog doctor Sally Nichols (aka Nicholls, also of Mission War Flame fame) is Godfrey Ho’s right-hand girl. She’s on the Brother typewriter and she’s trying and, truth be told, does a pretty amazing job (seriously, no sarcasm intended) bringing some semblance of a “plot” to these bits and pieces of old Pacific Rim films from the ’70s.

So, if you haven’t guessed by now: Southeast Asia is ripped apart by the Russians and the Americans who want to inject their political system into the region. So the KGB sends their agents, led by the rabid killer, Ivan, into Kampuchea to wipe out the American forces backed by the CIA. Of course, greed is good, even when Communism will take over the region. And in this region: Americans turn on Americans. Thus, John Matthews, the CIA agent paired with our good, U.S.-sympathizing Vietnamese agent, Jim, turns on Jim. We think. Or is General Wells — who put John and Jim together — the bad guy?

Okay, well, I see you noticed that nekkid lady on the VHS cover. Well, she’s some type of spy who betrayed General Wells, so she’s kidnapped and dies during the kidnapping. What does this have to do with the plot? Nothing. Well, no. We think she was Jim’s girlfriend. Or wife. Or something. It has to be, because Jim just sneaked into a children’s birthday party to kill the father of the man who failed at kidnapping his lady friend and killed her. Don’t forget: Jim’s the good guy, here. Imagine Rambo firing bullets into a birthday party to get revenge on Charles Napier or Jack Starlett?

And . . . this is the part of the review where, again, we drop the verb “ensues,” to work our way out of the review because nothing else ensues . . . expect a lot of running around a shallow river bed as the machine guns blaze and the grenades toss. And there’s no tanks. And that fleet of helicopters on the VHS cover never comes. But Jim — riddled with bullets and a couple of arrows in the back, dies in a river bed.

The message here? Uh, greed wins? Americans don’t give a damn about democratic freedom in Southeast Asia unless there’s a financial profit to be made? Again, Sally Nichols (aka Nicholls) weaved the dialog and was trying, but when you’re up against the Steenbeck of celluloid fate spun by Godfrey Ho, it’s a craps toss you can’t win, Sally. As with Ho’s Mission War Flame*, it was downright criminal to patch these “movies” together and dress them with Ramboesque artwork to toss onto the home video shelves. Even with my local video store’s 5-5-5 plan — with Ho’s films — you can’t say, “Well, it’s just a dollar.” Even at a dollar rental fee, this one’s a ripoff.

Celluloid masochists can fast forward through Fatal Command at their own peril on You Tube.

* We are writing ahead, here, so use that search box. You’re not that lazy to copy n’ paste, are you?

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

Gordon Mitchell: I thought I knew ye. Why are you here? Well, I know you did 2+5 Mission Hydra (1966), but a Rambo rip? Were times that tough?

Born Charles Allen Pendleton in Denver, Colorado, Gordon “The Bronze Giant” Mitchell became the requisite Italian-peplum actor by way of his bit parts in The Ten Commandments (1956) and Spartacus (1960). Then Steve Reeves made bank with Hercules (1958), and beefcakes like Pendleton — regardless of their lack in speaking Italian — headed off into the Neapolitan sunset, with films such as Atlas Against the Cyclops and The Giant of Metropolis (both 1961), Vulcan, Son of Jupiter and Caesar Against the Pirates (both 1962), and a bundle of spaghetti westerns, such as Three Graves for a Winchester (1966), along with Poliziotteschis and Giallos. Did he do Nazisploitation? He did: Achung! The Desert Tigers! (1977). Sexploitation? He did: Porno-Erotic Western (1979). Joe D’Amato even got Gordon Mitchell into the post-apoc game with Endgame (1983).

Then his career, like all careers do, cooled. So, along with fellow expatriate American actors Richard Harrision and Mike Monty, they headed off to the Philippines to work with John Gale, aka Jun Gallardo, the “star” of Silver Star Productions. Silver Star is a studio you’ve heard mentioned often during our first “Philippines War Week” in August and again, during this second week. All of these film rotate the same actors, either in new footage, or via old footage cut-in from other films; the recycling resulted in the likes of actors such as Mike Cohen, Jim Gaines, Romano Kristoff, Mike Monty, Nick Nicholson, Ronnie Patterson, Paul Vance (who scripts here), and Ken Watanabe (no, not that one; the Nine Deaths of the Ninja one) “starring” in movies they didn’t even sign up to appear in. In fact, the recycling into films of lesser and lesser production value ended up damaging the career of Richard Harrison; after a string of plagiarized Philippines hokum, no studios of note wanted to work with him.

And the same could be said for Gordon Mitchell, who started pumping out the Rambo-cum-Commandos (with touches of Raiders of the Lost Ark) for the Italians, the Turks, and Germans with the likes of Treasures of the Lost Desert, Diamond Connection, and White Fire (all 1984), and Operation Nam (1986). While Terror Force Commando, aka Three Men on Fire (1986), is plugged into the ’80s Philippines war cycle, it’s actually an Italian production; a final directing effort (of four) by Richard Harrison, it was his longtime pet-project, which he also wrote and produced. A hard-to-find film, Harrison stars with his longtime friends and fellow Philippine celluloid mainstays Romano Kristoff and Gordon Mitchell.

And cue Jun Gallardo, who hired Gordon — along with Jim Gaines, Paul Vance, and Ken Watanabe — to star in this Stallone-Arnie clone, along with SFX Retailiator.

Of course, with Silver Star Productions, the character flashbacks and/or story prologues are the thing, so all of that stock war footage from previous films — of their own or of others — can be cut-in to “up” the production values of their cash-strapped productions; for there is no way Silver Star can afford to rent out tanks. And if they did, they’re maximizing that one-shot tank footage whenever possible — which is all the time. You know, like Corman with his Star Wars droppings-recycling we speak of often around here. And like the Alfonso Brescia Pasta Wars droppings we speak of often around here.

So, in some of the half-dozen alternate theatrical one-sheets and VHS sleeves for Commando Invasions, you may see one with a big ol’ diamond on the cover. Well, our “Rambo” adventures begin with a French military convoy in 1950s-era Vietnam responsible for transporting retrieved jewels and art works: they’re ambushed, with the spoils stolen.

Flash forward to the height of the Vietnam war in 1965: The loot has been tracked down by Captain Brady (our “Rambo,” played by Michael James in his first starring role; the other was 1987’s Crossbone Territory; David Carradine fans seen James in P.O.W: The Escape) and his squad. The mission — with the usual “set up” behind the scenes — goes bad: the squad is dead and Brady survives — with a fistful of diamonds in his hands. But a court martial can’t be the end of the movie. Nope.

So — and only in the movies, or at least in the Philippines’ logic of movies — Brady is given a week to head back into the jungle, track down the real culprits (the Cong, natch), and prove his innocence. The betrayals and crosses, bullets (why do guns firing bullets sound like lasers all the time in these flicks) and exploding huts (from other films) ensues — with Gordon Mitchell’s General MacMoreland in cahoots with VC General Diap (Ken Watanabe). Or something like that.

Hey, we’re not here for the plot and thespin’: we’re here for the action. And for the Jun Gallardo the-cover-is-always-better-than-the-movie slop. If you need to complete the Jun Gallardo “war shelf,” his other early-to-mid-’80s not-Rambo flicks are Intrusion: Cambodia, Rescue Team, and The Firebird Conspiracy. (Damn straight! We reviewed all three this week, for we ain’t no lazy anák sa labás.)

There’s no trailer to share, but we found a copy of Commando Invasion on You Tube to enjoy. Oh, and don’t get burned as I did and confuse this one with Invasion Cambodia, aka Intrusion: Cambodia, okay? They are, in fact, two different films.

Oh, yes! There are a LOT of Philippine-made Sly-cum-Arnie romps with the word “Commando” in the title, as our two-week “Philippine War Week” has proven, but . . . did you know Russian cinema also not only did their own knockoffs of popular American films, but blatant shot-for-shot remakes? True story. So be sure to check out Den-D, because, the Russians love their movies, too.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.

Oh, the memories of hearing about this from my fellow comic book, heavy-metal lovin’ horror nerds, “Dude, you’ve got to check out Biotherapy! The comic store just got a new shipment of tapes!”

Fifteen miles (one way) and a $5.99 rental fee, later — I’m in a VHS, analog-drunken stupor. I have no fucking idea what’s going on (no subtitles), but I just watched a woman scientist turned into a fountain by way of broken test tubes jammed into her body. Hey, look! There’s even an eye ball ripping! Yes! A disemboweling! This Japan-curio is out Karo-reddin’ a Sam Raimi cabin-in-the-woods romp!

So, is this a slasher film? Yes.

Is this a rip on John Carpenter’s, not Halloween, but The Thing, but, uh, our resident alien is Jasonesque? Yes.

Never has a movie packed so much in so little time, in this case: 36 minutes. There’s no plot. There’s no characters. It’s just a relentless barrage of in-camera practical effects. In other words: it’s the prefect film that brings on the gore.

Nasty to the extreme, Biothearpy is a story about a group of Japanese scientists working on a food growth hormone (today, courtesy of subtitles: we now know it as “GT Medicine,” not that it matters). Cue the errant meteor shower that brings forth a blue-glowing man adorned in a fedora and trench coat, à la Ben Grimm, aka the other “Thing,” who begins stalking and butchering the scientists for the formula. And check out those Giger-choppers on our time-traveling alien! Nice.

Yeah, nothing beats the good ol’ brick and mortar days of those Japanese grey imports at your local comic emporium. Consider yourselves spoiled, B&S movie youngins, as you can stream this online for free these days; take note that back in those “grey days,” we watched this without subtitles, unlike today’s digital days. Not that you need the subtitles, as this is well-made, effectively-paced and easy to follow.

Why Biotherapy wasn’t expanded into a feature-length film — as was the totally awesome Korean horror romp, Dumplings — is anyone’s guess. What’s really great about Biotherapy is its worldwide distribution. Who hasn’t seen this movie the world over? You can watch Biotherapy on You Tube with optional English subtitles or on You Tube with embedded English subtitles.

For another take, check out guest writer Herbert P. Caine’s review.

About the Author: You can learn more about the writings of R.D Francis on Facebook. He also writes for B&S About Movies.